What weapon do you sleep with?

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,627]

I used to sleep with my lovely wooden baseball bat. Unfortunately,I left it behind in AZ.

[Concerned Bystander 2,901]

With my room littered with random scatterings of a multitude of unfinished novels, short stories and fanfics, any intruder attempting to sneak into my room in the dark would suffer the death of a thousand papercuts long before reaching my bed.

 

Ergo, I need no weapon.

Edited May 29, 2016 by Concerned Bystander

[Stormlight 1,371]

The only weapon available to me when I sleep are my fists and feet. I can be swift, but when someone decides to bother me and wake me up, that's when I do slow but heavy hits.

 

I've had some karate classes when I was younger, I can still manage a couple of moves.

[Scrubbed user 3,415]

With my room littered with random scatterings of a multitude of unfinished novels, short stories and fanfics, any intruder attempting to sneak into my room in the dark would suffer the death of a thousand papercuts long before reaching my bed.

 

Ergo, I need no weapon.

 

But what if someone is wearing some gloves?

[Luminn 109]

 

I keep it in my chest of draws

[Envy 5,992]

I need no weapon. Just listening to me talk will ward anyone off after a while. Works like a charm every time. Regardless of whether I wanted it that way or not...

[Megas 27,040]

I used to sleep with a golf club in my room if that counts, but then I had to sell it

[Kozmos 129]

My plushies!

I can use them to confuse enemies while I get an advantage on them...

xD

[Yarishia 144]

Does the pillow counts as a weapon?

[碇 シンジン 27,427]

For some reason since last month I had a feeling that I need something sharp near when I sleep so I took scissors to the near table

[Lord Midnight Madness 1,542]

I sleep with a 12 gauge shotgun loaded so if anyone comes in i'm ready for any one who decides to come in and mess with something

[DixonTheAdversary 1,631]

I have a guitar at the end of my bed and a bow in my closet.

[ShadOBabe 18,984]

I have a keychain weapon called a kubotan.

It’s basically a blunt, six inch metal spike. Makes even weak punches hit like a truck, and it’s just sharp enough to puncture.

[They call me Loyalty 1,941]

A plastic bag and some tissues it's all I need, hehe.

[Denim&Venöm 16,444]

I kid you not, I actually do sleep with a pair of ornate blades hanging above my bed. 

[Cash In 21,466]

When I was younger I slept with a nerf gun under my bed. Mostly so I could shoot anyone who tried waking me up. :/

Edited October 19, 2020 by Cash In

[Brony Number 42 9,885]

I have a 9 mm FNP double action with a 15 round magazine that I keep by my bed. I also carry it around town.

[The Kaeya Simp 13,953]

My Laptop, 

Seriously, the battery in that bastard turns into a baton when out of the laptop!

[Cyclone 1066 3,616]

A knife on the nightstand and a shotgun in the closet.

[BloodDrops 762]

a 0.25mm steel rod with a sharp end.

I stab you in the spial cord and your a vegetable for life

don't mess with Dr Blood 

Edited June 9, 2018 by BloodDrops

[PiratePony 8,473]

My wife. She's a Taekwando black belt.

[Hachiroku 127]

I'm waiting until I'm 21 so I can buy a Glock. 

[Stormy Seas 17]

My cat. Flinging 12lbs of angry, snarling kitty cat at someone's face will turn away the most determined of intruders.

If that fails, I keep a loaded Glock 17 and Colt 1911 in the nightstand.

[Twiggy 2,965]

I've recently obtained a Desert Eagle and have upgraded my bedside firepower to that + my old Moist Nugget. 

[Here No Longer 5,270]

My fingernails. Seriously, they're like daggers before I peel them (yes, I do that instead of clipping, because trust me when I say that it doesn't work).

Edited June 10, 2018 by Barik