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What 3 items would it take to summon you?

Hocus Pocus

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1) A package of Oreo cookies.

2)A fluffy bunny rabbit.

3)A 4th Dimension Twilight Sparkle plush.


These items will summon me to aid you on your dangerous quest for greatness.

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I have no idea why they would summon me of all people. However, should they get the idea to call me forth (likely after one too many drinks), they would require the following items:


- A tub of Poutine

- A life-sized Celestia plushie

- A brand new laptop

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1) a small sausage, pepperoni, and musroom pizza, with Parmesan cheese and crushed red pepper on top


2) a can of pepsi


3) an iphone charging cable



I've been summoned because my waist line is creating a gravitational lensing effect around my Galaxy. 




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I'm Being Summoned because they Have a Clown Zombie Infestation....................


-A Pumpkin Spice Latte


-1/5 Replica of me Figurine


-A Broadway Musical Production of M. Night Shyamalans' Life and All his Movies..................


I come Stop the Clown Zombie Invasion and then proceed to terrorize the populace by Pinching their Cheeks and saying,"You are Just the Cutest thing ever!" Like I'm talking to a Baby................. :please:........ :derp:

Edited by The Professor
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1. Dorito Dust

2. Mountain Dew (preferably Mtn Dew Energy)

3. An AMD GPU laying on top of a broken Nvidia GPU


They would summon me if they needed some quickscoping done by yours truly, xXx_pu$$yd3str0yr_d4nk_mLg_trik$h0t_kw1k$k0pr_xXx 

  • Brohoof 4
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1. A bowl full of spaghetti, or some kind of very hot/spicy food as a substitute.


2. Brand new Triumph Sprint ST. (due to ponies' tech level, they could also use an acoustic guitar to replace that)


3. Bottled dragon's breath (of any sort, be it fire/ice/etc).



Moreover, if coins were to be used during the summoning ritual, Khajiit would appear with wares.

  • Brohoof 2
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You would use one of three things.


1. All four of the elemental stones housed in all four corners of my hometown.

2. A human sacrafice with a living circle.

3. Humming the Hymn of Proof in an hour of great need.

Edited by Bright Bastion
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Hmm, let me think.


They'd probably summon me because I have the amazing power to mess anything up, no matter how simple it is. Maybe Equestria has been taken over by some sort of evil villain from 1000 years ago (they sure do seem to have a lot of those) and they want an assistant, so everypony tried to find the worst one possible.


To summon me, you'd need

1: A large pack full of 2l bottles of soda, whether it's sprite, orange crush, coke, root beer, mountain dew (I am an MLG Quickscoper, after all) or almost any soda that's not dr pepper.


2: A giant pizza, the biggest in all of Equestria.


3: A laptop that can actually run games, but with all my files on it, decorated with tardis and pokeball stickers, or maybe a ps4 (also with tardis and pokeball stickers) with a bunch of games, including gta V (NOT because of the strip club.  :okiedokielokie: Who do you think I am, Discorded Whooves?)


If they place all these things on something soft enough to take a nap on, and write my name backwards in blue sharpie at exactly 4:20 am, 7:06 PM (6:66) or 1:37 PM (13:37 in military time.) and I shall appear.

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A lifetime supply of Devil's Food Cake, or at least enough to fill me for the two hours.

An extremely beautiful human female who wants to be with me.

An extra large DD coffee with tons and tons of sugary substances in it to the point that I can't taste the coffee. Yea, that's the point of adding sweets!


Summoning me because they're bored.

Edited by bronislav84
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The following items are needed to summon me:


A white gamecube controller in very good condition


A few gallons of orange juice


And this.



I have no idea why they would be summoning me though.

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You can easily summon me by collecting the following and putting them together:


- A new smartphone. Doesn't need to be an IPhone, but it has to have a large capacity SD card with it!


- A six pack of Red Bulls


- At least one silver ring, with a large jewel cabochon of your choice (I can wear size, 5, 5¾, 6, 6¾, and 7... I have some small hands!)

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It's pretty easily to summon me, it just takes a subpoena.   :P


Legal jokes aside, I would guess that whatever it takes to summon me is ultimately dependent on the nature of the occult practices, but if we're going with specific things, they'd have to offer:


--An upright piano, but not too fancy

--A benchtop FTIR or a UV/Vis spectrometer

--All 33 volumes of the most recent edition of Chisum on Patents


If any of these are too difficult to procure, I would also accept the complete works of Zez Confrey, Joseph F. Lamb, or a book of stride piano pieces as an substitute.


Why would they summon me, you ask?  Beats me.  They probably want me to play the piano or something.



  • Brohoof 1
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  1. a cartoon pony
  2. a good book
  3. my own corpse

Try that, why don't ya.



Now obviously, the only reason anyone would want to summon me is to have someone floating over their shoulder making sarcastic comments every six seconds, and to do their math homework. And to get my corpse.

1. A gaiwan

2. The new Nightwish album scheduled for release on the 27th

3. A terra bad dragon toy fresh out of the box and I'd advise against googling what that is if you're unfamiliar

Of all things, really? Why does this not surprise me?

Edited by \/
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Hmmm, what would appease me?


  • A Bentley Continental 1952


  • Three tailored suits from Gieves & Hawkes


  • £6 million

There's also another condition: you summon my girlfriend along with me. You ain't summoning me into a dimension without her.

Edited by Taviscratch
  • Brohoof 2
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