Chuck norris jokes?

[Rainboom24 46]

just to start:

jesus can walk on water, but chuck norris can swim on land.

 

chuck norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

 

Death once had a near-chuck norris experience...

[Slurpy 300]

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

[Iris Melody 90]

Chuck Norris' boggart is Neville Longbottom.

 

lol I couldn't resist. I do enjoy Chuck Norris jokes

[Dany Heatley 160]

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down

 

my fav is...

 

Chuck Norris is a religious bigot

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 616]

I love these!

 

When Chuck Norris does psuh-ups he pushes the world Down!

[Rainbow Danger Dash 145]

when chuck norris is bitten by a zombie chuck norris doesn't tunr into a zombie... zombies turn into chuck norris

[Twilight Sparkle ✨ 8,520]

This thread appears to be a forum game, or something spammy of the sort. Thus, it has been sentenced to Cloudsdale Colosseum. This is an automatically generated message, by the way.

[letterone 1,203]

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

Red Bull can clog a toilet. Reasoning:

 

- Red Bull is Chuck Norris's pee.

- His pee can clog a toilet.

[Nightfall 3,950]

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinite... twice.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

[Jadefire 2,796]

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Chuck goes killing.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

Chuck Norris uses a nightlight only because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris can take out two stones with one bird, and then draw blood out of the stones.

[Jokarr 70]

i know its a little harsh giving the whole concept of the forums but this is my favorite chuck norris joke

XD

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns.

[Dragonshy 2,305]

Chuck Norris doesn't reply to threads, he makes them. -_(

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

Chuck Norris can find the square root of a negative number.

 

Chuck Norris can find the roots of a parabola opening upwards if the range is greater than 0.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

Chuck Norris can find the square root of a negative number.

 

Anyone who has taken anything higher than Geometry and Algebra 1 will know that those are called Imaginary Numbers, and they revolve around the number i.

 

But I guess for the sake of Chuck Norris arguments, I suppose he can make them real...?

 

Oh yeah; There's like six more letters to the alphabet that only Chuck Norris knows.

[Rudolphin 76]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity Twice!

 

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird

 

If you have 2 dollars and Chuck Norris has 2 dollars, he has more money then you.

 

I can go on forever

[ZomBrony 346]

ugh, why can't I think of any?

[Dany Heatley 160]

Chuck Norris doesn't reply to threads, he makes them. -_(

 

brohoof'd for face-hoof

[ZomBrony 346]

If you brohoof Chuck Norris, it automatically turns into Chuck Norris brohoofing you

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

If you brohoof Chuck Norris, it automatically turns into Chuck Norris brohoofing you

 

Wouldn't that be a roundhouse kick?

[AngryGamer432 155]

Chuck Norris can bend light

 

there is no chin behind chuck norris' beard. There is only another fist

 

Chuck Norris can find hay in a needle stack

 

Chuck Norris passed a class with an F

 

Chuck Norris can chew sand and spit out colored marbles

Edited April 10, 2012 by Thatpony124

[Dany Heatley 160]

If you brohoof Chuck Norris, it automatically turns into Chuck Norris brohoofing you

 

does that mean dragonshy is chuck norris

[Rudolphin 76]

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris... the cop was lucky to leave with a warning

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

Since I ran out of ideas to post, I turned to Google. And added "mlp" to my search. This is what I found:

 

Derpy's eyes are the result of having a staring contest with Chuck Norris.