Chuck norris jokes?

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

the other day i saw Chuck Norris, i am lucky he spared me

[Fire_Fly 499]

The only reason Nyan Cat is flying through space is because Chuck Norris is in the mood for Pop-Tarts.

[ZomBrony 346]

The famous quote from 300 was originally supposed to be This is Chuck Norris! But Chuck Norris came out of nowhere and roundhouse kicked the voice actor for Leodinoius or whatever it was and the only sound he could make was screaming, but because of where he was in his pronuncitaion of Chuck Norris and the way he was pronouncing it was Spart and because he screamed in the moment he got kicked it sounded like Spart-ah!

[Doctor Whooves™ 332]

Chuck Norris' car alarm is simply a picture of him on the windshield in attack stance, with a writing reading 'This is my car'.

[Fire_Fly 499]

Chuck Norris uses the '10 items or less' line in the grocery store.... With 11 items.

[ZomBrony 346]

Chuck Norris is not a gamer, games are just Chuck Norrisers

[ChrysalisM 261]

Want to know why you cant achieve better than first place in competitions? It is because Chuck Norris is automatically in 0th place due to his awesomeness. The first place prize is a consolation for not being as badass as Chuck.

[Sonic Shimmer 4,116]

Chuck Norris was supposed to be the fifth head on Mt Rushmore but the stone was too soft for his beard.

Chuck Norris once beat Jimi Hendrix in a guitar duel. With a ukulele.

Ever seen a shooting star? You actually saw some fool who dared to cross Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to social distance. The virus knows to keep distant from him.

[DubWolf 16,613]

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon in Pokémon go

With landline  

[Sonic Shimmer 4,116]

Batman vs Superman was originally written as Batman vs Superman vs Chuck Norris. The script was rewritten when the filmmakers realised nobody would pay to watch a movie that was 3 seconds long.

[ChrysalisM 261]

Anakin Skywalkers dad was Chuck Norris, but he disowned him at a young age because he could not roundhouse kick.

 

At the beginning of time, the memetic heroes were drawing lots to decide the order in which they choose their trademark moves.

Chuck Norris wished to be able to do a flying slam, but John Cena drew a number before him. He then chose the round house kick, and promptly used its' power on John Cena's sorry butt. (No offense to Mr Cena.)

[Orgazoid 50]

why did Chuck Norris cross the road?

 

 

 

 

 

to get to the other side

 

[Sonic Shimmer 4,116]

Godzilla vs Kong was already going to be Godzilla vs Kong vs Chuck Norris. The script was rewritten after it was decided that nobody would pay to see a movie three seconds long.

[Props Valroa 26,039]

When Chuck norris does pushups he is actually staying in the exact same place but moving the world back and forth.

[Wingnut 6,730]

This one may already be posted but just in case it hasn’t…

A poisonous snake bit Chuck Norris.  After six days of agonizing pain, the snake died. 

[Sonic Shimmer 4,116]

If you look at the back of the book of world records, you'll find written in small print "All records are held by Chuck Norris. This book lists those in second place"

Chuck Norris beat Jimi Hendrix in a guitar duel while playing a ukulele.

There is no such thing as the theory of evolution. There's just a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to live.

If you ever see a shooting star, it's actually some fool who messed with Chuck Norris.

 

 

 

 

[DubWolf 16,613]

The Babadook can't get rid of Chuck Norris.

Also he caught all of the pokemon in pokemon go... with landline .

 

Oh looks like I posted that already

Edited March 15, 2022 by WWolf