Eloquence

Polyamorous Forumers?

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I didn't realize this topic was even still being responded to. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone though, and that even those who decided it isn't for them still understand that it is the right choice for some people :)

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Interesting, though i do not identify as polyamorous myself (i guess i just wouldn't be okay with the idea of sharing or being shared, no offense intended), i could see the appeal certain couples (if 'couples' is even a valid term, this case?) have towards the concept.

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I didn't know that was the word for it until now, but I am aware of it. I haven't practiced it, but my significant other dated a couple of guys while she was still dating me, and I didn't have a problem with that. I kind of see myself as someone who would be polyamorous, but most people aren't accepting of that.

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I suppose I am sort of polyamorous? Poly-curious, maybe.

 

And yes it is hard and complicated and requires a lot of trust from all involved, and you're going against millennia upon millennia of societal pressure and expectations.

 

I got burned recently from an attempted polyamorous relationship that collapsed before it even really got started (tl;dr the other two people found out they really love each other, but not me), so I'm not exactly keen on the idea at the moment.

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Having lost one partner due to wishing to pursue a Polyamorous relationship, I'm a little burnt by the idea. I still love the concept of a freer version of Love than traditional one-on-one relationships, and would like to pursue one if my next partner and I communicate about it effectively. So I suppose I'm on the fence, technically, but usually tend to side with the poly's.

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It is definitely something I am perfectly okay with in terms of others doing it, if it makes you happy and the ones you are with, then I say go for it. Nothing wrong with it. For me, it is not something that I find any appeal in for myself. I personally would much rather dedicate myself to one person and give them all the love I can. :)

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(edited)

Not interested myself, I imagine it would be extremely difficult to maintain. The chances of 3 people all being genuinely and equally in love with each other is surely equal to the planets aligning. If they're not then I can only assume that the relationship is doomed to fail as jealously, envy, favoritism and inequality starts to tear it apart. Also I would be very uncomfortable with any relationship that was too 'male-dominant' (not that I'm saying it always is at all, I'm aware that's probably a stereotypical thing to say but it still applies).

Edited by Biggybrony

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Not interested myself, I imagine it would be extremely difficult to maintain. The chances of 3 people all being genuinely and equally in love with each other is surely equal to the planets aligning. If they're not then I can only assume that the relationship is doomed to fail as jealously, envy, favoritism and inequality starts to tear it apart. Also I would be very uncomfortable with any relationship that was too 'male-dominant' (not that I'm saying it always is at all, I'm aware that's probably a stereotypical thing to say but it still applies).

 

It certainly does take effort, as does any healthy relationship, but a triad (a relationship of three people) is by no means the only configuration for a polyamorous relationship. In fact, it seems to be less common than a relationship in which two people choose to date other people individually, forming a sort of "relationship web" made up of interwoven couples.

 

As for a relationship being "male-dominant", that is in fact a stereotype stemming largely from the polygamous community, wherein one man dates multiple women who aren't allowed to see anyone else. Despite the fact that one might think they're very similar, the two communities are in fact incredibly at odds with each other, and we don't really like each other all that much. I personally have some strong issues with polygamous people, as because they perpetuate the stereotype that women in polyamorous relationships lack autonomy I am often treated as if I'm less of a person by ignorant people who know about my relationship but don't really know me as a person. People assume because of my relationship that I'm subservient to my boyfriend, when in reality that could not be farther from the truth. It's pretty awful, actually :(

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I have no problems when other live in a polyamorous relationship. Everybody can live in their relationship how he wants. But it's nothing for me. It would feel strange for me when I have more than one partner and I think I can't give both the same energy and fondness. I know that this is not cheating when you live in a polyamorous relationship, but I definitely prefer to have only one partner.

 

But I must say, I have no idea how to react when my partner (I am single at the moment) would say, that he want a polyamorous relationship. aj-hm.png

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I would self identify as polyamorous. Why make love a mutually exclusive thing? If I had a partner, I would be polyamorous out of respect for them. They shouldn't feel obligated to just love me, and look on as someone else who's also interesting passes them by. That's how cheating happens. And cheating only becomes a problem when the person you love doesn't want to see you anymore. If they're still willing to come back to me and love me, who cares who else they're seeing?  

 

However, I'll pursue that path if and when I'm ready for a relationship. I'm a loner. I'm perfectly fine in solitude. I'd actually prefer more of it. I'm around people so often, I would like to just go someplace far away and isolated, and stay there for so long, that I actually miss human companionship. It doesn't help that I have Aspergers and don't quite get the fine nuances of social interaction. I'm just as likely to hrut someone as totally miss out on what they're trying to convey. Subtle things go over my head. And anyone who comes up to talk to me catches me off guard. So I avoid interaction. 

 

At this point, I'm probably not the best match for anyone, let alone multiple people. 

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I'm currently in the business. 

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