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Funny, or terrible jokes?

Chill Mists (Chilly)

By Chill Mists (Chilly), User

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Heretick-Tock

Heretick-Tock

(edited)

What's blue and sings alone?

 

 

 

Dan Aykroyd.

 

 

I'm so sorry. I really am. No human being should ever be subject to that joke. I doubt even Israel would use this joke as a method of torture.

 

 

Edited by Horus
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GearheadWilliams
GearheadWilliams

The Mysterious Mare Do Well This one has a little extra on it:     

SasQ
SasQ

Haah good one   But be careful when pranking others. Sometimes it can backfire in an odd way    

Evilshy
Evilshy

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SkyDream

SkyDream

Saw this one in a Readers Digest recently:

 

The U.S. Government military branch buckled to Greenpeace and decided to make ecologically friendly, energy-saving, green missiles.

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Guest

Guest

(edited)

I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger and bigger, and then... It hit me

I have a t-shirt with that joke on it... dont judge me.

 

A ball rolls around the corner and falls on its face. What went missing?

The Joke

 

Or this one: What is green, has four legs and kills you, when it jumps from a tree?

A billiard table.

 

Edited by Guest
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Broseph

Broseph

(edited)

It has to be the ol'
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side".

 

Believe it or not, it actually took me so long to fully understand this joke ("the other side" meaning "death").
And now that I get it, it just feels really anticlimactic..
That and it just isn't funny.

Edited by Broseph
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Dzastur

Dzastur

It has to be the ol'

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side".

 

Believe it or not, it actually took me so long to fully understand this joke ("the other side" meaning "death").

 

That's the first time I've ever heard that explanation.

 

I think it was always supposed to be a misdirection riddle, like "Why does a fireman wear red suspenders? To keep his pants up." The idea is that the listener is trying to come up with all the explanations for a chicken crossing the road (of which there could be many) and thus misses the obvious answer given. Har de har har.

 

And you thought it was anti-climatic before! :D

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Nobody Special

Nobody Special

Instantly when I saw this one thing came to my mind... womens rights.

 

 

 

 

 

As in that one joke about womens rights being a joke. Yeah, I laughed at first but now I don't find it that funny.

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Frosty V

Frosty V

(edited)

A neutron walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender "How much for some whiskey?" the bartender looked at him and replied "For you, no charge."

 

Ohh science puns I'm so hilarous

Edited by Frosty V
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Dzastur

Dzastur

Every single "blonde joke".

 

I dunno. I like this one:

 

A blonde was driving through Iowa in her convertible. As she's speeding down the highway, she looks to the left, and sees another blonde, sitting in a cornfield, in a canoe, rowing.

 

She slams on the brakes, stands up, and yells out to the blonde in the canoe: "Hey! Cut that out! It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! I ought to swim out there and kick your ass!"

 

Or this one:

 

A Blonde Empowerment Seminar commences in California. Blondes from all over the United States are cheering in the audience. The master of ceremonies grabs the microphone and proceeds:

 

"You, blondes! You're proud of who you are, right? You're not the idiots other people say you are, are you?"

 

"No!" scream the blondes.

 

"And we're going to prove it. I need a volunteer. One of you blondes, come up on stage!"

 

The blondes giggle. One rushes onto the stage, and they cheer her.

 

"Okay," says the M.C. "You're going to prove how smart blondes are. Answer this question: what's 2+2?"

 

The blonde scrunches her face, thinking hard. "7?"

 

The M.C. frowns. The blondes in the audience scream, "One more chance! Give her one more chance!"

 

The M.C. concedes. "Okay, try again. What's 2+2?"

 

The blonde scrunches her face more, thinking even harder. "Purple?"

 

The M.C. shakes his heads. The blondes in the audience scream, "One more chance! Give her one more chance!"

 

The M.C. concedes again. "Okay, think really, really hard this time. What's 2+2?"

 

The blonde strains with all her might, sweat pouring down her forehead. Finally, she says, "...4?"

 

The M.C's mouth drops in happy surprise. He looks to the audience.

 

The blondes in the audience scream, "One more chance! Give her one more chance!"

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Remi

Remi

Well seeing as how a science joke was posted, I think I'll post a somewhat scientific one.

It isn't a joke, if not a pick up line, but regardless, it's awful.

'You must be the cause of global warming.

Because you're so hot!'

As a matter of fact, my friends and I were sharing pick up lines, and I was about to vomit halfway through.

They were that awful.

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BronyPony

BronyPony

All jokes that involve wordplay.

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor Who?

Just the Doctor.

 

HARHARHAHRHAHRHAHRHAHRHAHRHAHRHARHHA!!!! HARHAHRAHHRAHRHAHRHARHHARHAHHARHHHRHAHR!!! no...

 

 

What does Pikachu do when he sneezes?

 

PIKKKAAAACHUUUU!!!!

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Remi

Remi

Stop the presses, for I have found the cheesiest joke so far!

Prepare your lactose-intolerant stomaches!

Because if I could purchase this joke it would be in the dairy section!

L7oSdhB.jpg
 

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Smarts

Smarts

(edited)

Any of those yo momma "jokes". I say jokes in quotation marks because those are not funny in the slightest and shouldn't be qualified as jokes. In fact, they are really dumb and the only people who use them are the unfunny kids who think they are funny.

Edited by SmartyPants
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~Master~ Button Mash

~Master~ Button Mash

(edited)

Any of those yo momma "jokes". I say jokes in quotation marks because those are not funny in the slightest and shouldn't be qualified as jokes. In fact, they are really dumb and the only people who use them are the unfunny kids who think they are funny.

I guess I'm an unfunny kid then. Well, TBH you're right, most are kinda lame. But there's a few that still make me go "snap!" :P

 

PS: I'm also a sucker for a good "that's what she said" every now and then.

 

As for bad jokes from me? Hmmm...

 

Did you know Joan of Arc was the first french fry?

Edited by Mutton Bash
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DND

DND

Is it bad that I'm ROFLing at all these jokes?  :lol:

 

Um, anyways, this is what my brother made up. It's so painfully unfunny, it surpasess even the chance to be funny.

 

Everytime I drop something, my brother makes the dumbest comment:

 

"Nice hands, feet."

 

...

 

Who in god's name told you that you could be a comedian?  >_>

 

Oh, and one from the wonderful, Quips:

 

"What did the ocean say to the ocean?"

 

"Sea you later!"  :derp: 

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ReverseFaller

ReverseFaller

The worst joke was probably when a teacher tried to assure us that the US government was competent. Oh wait, you mean joke as in a good old wisecrack, or pun? Sure, let's see. Probably this...

 

Dead baby jokes. Look them up they exist. I don't get the point of these.

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toby rogers

toby rogers

a blonde, a brunette, and a red head robbed a bank, they all brought a sack to hide in, the police came and knocked on the sack with the red head in it, she said woof woof, the police said oh it's just a bag of dogs, then the police knocked on the sack with the brunette in it, she said meow meow, the police said oh it's just a sack of cats, then the police knocked on the sack with the blonde in it, she said potato potato. if you want instead of her saying potato potato she can say hello?

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