Moniker

Who's um . . . unsure of their sexuality?

Recommended Posts

Once again I'd like to thank everyone taking time out of their day to give their advice, though I haven't taken any of it. I want to, but I'm still young, I'd probably be able to do more exploring as I gain access to a car, part-time job, and groups of people that I could talk to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(edited)

Well, I had some homosexual activity mainly as a teen, then mostly hetero during my twenties, and my fantasies seem to be homoerotic about, say, 30% of the time, to this day.

 

Crazily, after all this, it wasn't until a few years ago, at age 30, that I finally said, or admitted to myself, "Well, I guess I'm bisexual."  As if the evidence hadn't been stacking up for over a decade!  I wasn't okay with it for a long time, but pretty suddenly, I just...was.


Once again I'd like to thank everyone taking time out of their day to give their advice, though I haven't taken any of it. I want to, but I'm still young, I'd probably be able to do more exploring as I gain access to a car, part-time job, and groups of people that I could talk to.

 

Good call.  Do like me, decide on a "label", if you must, around age 30.  Until then, just rack up some experience, do some lovin', and live life. 

Edited by Flint Sparklehooves

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To be honest I'm floating between hetero and bi. I suppose it's like 80/20.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can be classified as bisexual.

But I choose to not participate in bisexual activity do to my religion.

Not sure if you'd call that confused or not... ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, and wow I feel weird posting this publicly... .-. But, I've always pretty much been scared my whole life into 'only being straight' basically and that 'everything else is a sin' and all that, of which I personally have come to realize that for a lot of personal reasons, I no longer wanted to eat that crap that was being fed to me about that...... I think ever since about 5th grade, I kinda got a feeling that I may very well have been more or less homosexual, but I never really gave the idea much thought, being that at the time I was so afraid to really be independent and true with my emotions to any of my 'parental figures' at all...... Of course I'd talk about stuff like that very sparingly periodically with some good friends, more so now than ever, but... I never really gave thought to myself back then that I might actually not be totally "straight"... I'm only now really feeling more certain that I'm likely homosexual, being that I never really had found girls too attractive at all through school and all, but I seemed to get some interesting thoughts about a few of the male friends I'd had made along the way in school... Though of course I never acted on those or told any of these friends about that...... Especially after that one day where I ended up being indirectly ostracized for even so much as hinting at the idea that I may have 'liked' a guy friend...

So I suppose that's my story. :fluttershy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking as someone who IS certain which way their extension cords run, I will say this to you uncertain souls:

 

Your sexuality is your choice; no one else's. 

 

Your parents can try to teach you about choices, they can heavily advocate choices, they can even make you feel differently about those choices... but they CANNOT choose for you.

Your religious superior can try to offer advice about your choices, they can help you fine-tune how you want to make those choices... but they CANNOT choose for you.

Your friends can speak earnestly about their own choices, they can try to help you come to terms with whatever choice you make... but they CANNOT choose for you.

 

I am straight - and I have been through a lot of strange things before I settled on that.  Still, I made that choice, and I am happy to say that I like my choice.  Do I advocate my choice?  Not really - I merely advocate finding a choice YOU are happy with.  

 

Get in touch with yourself.  Get to know the bundle of thoughts & ideas that is YOU.  Pick your own brain.  Find where you're comfortable making a stand... then make one.  Experimenting can be fun, but make certain YOU know when the experiment is over & you've drawn the conclusion you want.  But it doesn't have to be today.

 

Whomever you wish to pursue romantically is YOUR choice; don't be overeager to please anyone else on this matter.  Straight, gay, bi... it's up to you.

 

Pursue your heart's desire - and be PROUD of your choices; they're what make you who you are.  

 

Excelsior, my pony friends!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

I've been unsure about my sexuality in kinda the same way as you.

I knew I kinda liked girls, but I had never (until recently) had any actual attraction to anyone.

Now that I have my girlfriend, me and her concluded with that I'm demisexual, which means I need to develop bonds with a person before I get attracted to them. One could say I need to enter the "friend zone" before I can fall for someone. Another way to look at it; I'm asexual, until I bond with the right person the right way. My girlfriend can be fairly safe that I won't cheat on her, even if I wanted to or was more of the type for it~

But yeah, with me being demisexual, it is hard for me to tell if I'm bi or straight, as it takes some effort for me to even be interested in someone.

Like at least one person posted that I could see as I was scrolling down here to post, go with the flow and see what happens... Strike if you feel the timing is right. I guess it might be an idea to find out if either of them are attracted to your gender, as if you're seeking a romantic/sexual relationship, it might not be smart to go with the guy if he's not into guys, or the girl if she's into girls (depending on your gender and the situation).

 

Other than that, I say be patient, and good luck - may things go well for ye~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, I am. I've already found love here already by coincidence:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, my sexuality wasn't all that important to me until late October 2014. I suspected I might be homosexual or even bisexual. I looked back at the times I was in the presence of good-looking men and realized I wanted to do stuff with them. I was worried what my parents would say, but thankly, they love and support me whether I'll end up with a man, woman, or no one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Badges

Speaking as someone who IS certain which way their extension cords run, I will say this to you uncertain souls:

 

Your sexuality is your choice; no one else's. 

 

Your parents can try to teach you about choices, they can heavily advocate choices, they can even make you feel differently about those choices... but they CANNOT choose for you.

Your religious superior can try to offer advice about your choices, they can help you fine-tune how you want to make those choices... but they CANNOT choose for you.

Your friends can speak earnestly about their own choices, they can try to help you come to terms with whatever choice you make... but they CANNOT choose for you.

 

I am straight - and I have been through a lot of strange things before I settled on that.  Still, I made that choice, and I am happy to say that I like my choice.  Do I advocate my choice?  Not really - I merely advocate finding a choice YOU are happy with.  

 

Get in touch with yourself.  Get to know the bundle of thoughts & ideas that is YOU.  Pick your own brain.  Find where you're comfortable making a stand... then make one.  Experimenting can be fun, but make certain YOU know when the experiment is over & you've drawn the conclusion you want.  But it doesn't have to be today.

 

Whomever you wish to pursue romantically is YOUR choice; don't be overeager to please anyone else on this matter.  Straight, gay, bi... it's up to you.

 

Pursue your heart's desire - and be PROUD of your choices; they're what make you who you are.  

 

Excelsior, my pony friends!

I think I understand what you are trying to get at here, and I say you are right in that no one can determine oneself other than that person themselves individually in all honesty... However I would want to question your use of the word of "choice" there... As honestly, it seems that really sexuality is less so of a "choice" really and more of a thing you simply discover through time if you happen to be unsure... Considering that, even with the new law in place in America, I don't see why people would willingly "choose" to be a part of a demographic that is widely received with much hatred and bigotry from those opposing the idea. To say sexual orientation in and of itself is a "choice" is kind of a touchy way to put it is basically what I am trying to get at here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Edit: post isn't accurate anymore :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've come to known that I have been bisexual for years now, with equal interest in both genders. I wasn't too open to it until recently.

 

Despite that, I'm extremely aromantic and not interested in relationships at all. It has especially been the case since an incident last April where a friend was betrayed by their love interest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't feel like I can be genuine in a relationship until I transition, so relationships haven't been a huge part of my life so far. Because of this, I am at least partially unsure of my attractions. I know definitively that I'm attracted to men, but beyond that I have very little knowledge of my sexuality.

 

This also doesn't describe romantic attractions, to which I'm even more confused o-o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In Truth I am very unsure.  :blink:  I feel that I am bi but I love women. It varies. I dont know if I am bi or not but it gets me very confused. I believe I am just strait.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey there.

 

I am 22 years old and began questioning around 11 years ago. I have flip flopped for all the years in between from bi to les to bi to les to ace to demi and I just keep going all over the spectrum. The moral of this story, and something that many folks will say is that your sexuality is an ongoing journey and that what once is true for you may not be true in the future. Be open to your feelings and let whatever happens happen.

 

All that matters is that you love who you are no matter what, and in this, people will love you for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd like to offer you guys some advice: just do whatever feels right to you, and what makes you happy. The thing I've learned in life is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you are happy with who you are. Don't be afraid to embrace it, either. Being unsure about your sexuality is somewhat of a good thing. It gives you more time to really figure yourself out, and better determine what you really want out of life. Take it in stride, and just do your thing, without anyone else telling you differently.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(edited)

The sad thing about me is that I'm never truly alone with my accepting friend and so I can never really tell him, I can't ask to hang out because he works nearly every day and I can't stop by his work for a second as he works as a preschool teacher to kids in a daycare. And since I can't drive I have limited time to even open my mouth as there are so many others around including passerby people. I just feel I need to repress any feelings I have for a man . . . I suppose my Indiana side is showing with it.

 

It can't harm me too much to repress something like an attraction, right?

Edited by Faal Malkey

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just feel I need to repress any feelings I have for a man . . .

Why do you think you feel this way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why do you think you feel this way?

 

I don't know, honestly, I just feel I should repress the feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know, honestly, I just feel I should repress the feelings.

I personally think that isn't all that bad of an idea actually.

A lot of people would disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.

Because, after all, it doesn't matter, does it?

 

If you repress your feelings and it all goes wrong; mental breakdown or depression or whatever, it ends the same way if you don't repress your feelings everything and you live a full and happy life.

It all ends six feet under.

If you believe in an after life, then our time here is completely pointless.

The depression or joy that comes in repressing or accepting your feelings is irrelevant to the grand picture.

 

If you don't believe in an after life, then again, it doesn't matter how you live your life, for in less than 100 years (average), it'll all be over.

 

That's my personal way of seeing the world.

Which is why I was curious as to why you would want to repress your feelings.

I understand not everyone agrees with my views, but it is legitimately the way I see the world and therefore I have troubles understand why people dwell on such things like emotions.

 

Just do what makes you happy. It won't matter in 100 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Egads there's a whole bunch of factors involved. A lot of it depends on the overarching kind of person that you are and your self-perceived role in society.

  • Your own sex AND your own gender. If it weren't already obvious, those are two entirely different things.
  • How amorous you generally are, at least on average. Also how physically sensitive you are.
  • How emotionally sensitive you are.
  • How you view others viewing you. Do you mind being a social pariah?
  • Do you worry about disappointing anyone? Do you worry more about disappointing yourself or your lover?
  • Do you feel like at some point you may juggle peoples' feelings due to indecisiveness? Being bisexual can be quite a chore. Being pansexual, even more-so.
I don't consider myself to fall into any particular category at all. It's just a garbled mesh of awareness of preferences. I love all of the parts because they're fun, and if they happen to belong to someone I really care for, then all the merrier. I will use those parts (and all the others) to ensure they remain happy. Hopefully they would feel the same way about me. It's an emotional relationship at that point that fuels such a thought.

 

 

In the end, I really feel like being so open about this sort of thing is well illustrated in that scene from Friends where Joey eats Rachel's horrible dessert. Specifically, what Joey says at the very end. He eats the horrible-tasting concoction just because it has all the things that he loves.

 

To shine some light on the analogy, purely heterosexual individuals will likely tend to shy away from the genitals of their own sex, hopefully aside from their very own set. A purely homosexual may do the same.

 

A purely bisexual person would find them both equally attractive, I suppose? At least by the very definition of a bisexual individual.

 

So anyone who occupies any slot between the three specific extremes would at least have reasons why they prefer the things (and people) that they do.

 

If Joey likes custard with jam and beef merely because he likes all three individually and savors having them all at the same time, what does that tell you about a person who likes absolutely everything sexual? Is that person a sexual deviant? Of course not likely; they're just not outright denying anything in specific.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I honestly have no idea what my sexuality is. One or two people have asked me out, but I ended up saying no, because I didn't feel the same way (But one made me feel so bad that I said 'alright' when they asked to at least slow dance with me). I've never had anything I could be sure was a crush, but I think I might have one on a guy, but I can't tell for sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've bounced between different sexualities, from straight to bisexual to pansexual and finally to where I am now, lesbian. I feel the most comfortable defining myself as an Asexual Lesbian (apparently the actual name for that is Homoromantic Asexual) and wondered why I felt no attraction towards males, even to ones I've dated, until I realized that females are the only gender I feel attracted to. Sexuality is basically a road with many turns and you're bound to fight the right turn for yourself eventually.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm confused a bit, I never found any guys in real life to be attractive nor have I ever wanted to be with one, Its always been with girls that I've had crushes on. However, it seems that some of the gay clop art turns me on. Which Im ashamed of, I dont get it. Why is it I dont find guys in the real world attractive sexually at all? But male ponies I do? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For a while I was really confused. I've been with a few guys.. and girls. With girls the feeling, maybe was there for a tiny bit. But quickly lost interest. I honestly don't like labels all too much, because everyone worries about what they need to label themselves in case someone asks. I consider myself gay, because it's easiest. I like guys. Although occasionally I'm curious as to what it's like to be with a girl(since it has been years).. but I really cannot see girls as anything but a friend. It really messed with my mind. So I stopped worrying about my sexuality.. and just let it happen. It's less stressful finding out what to identify yourself as. It takes a bit of time, but you honestly shouldn't worry about it. You are who you are, just accept yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.