Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Singe 2,109]

Applejack: I make extra money on the side by having guys pay me to serve them some home cooking and then *saxophone music plays* they get some of my delicious apple pie for dessert.

Rarity: It's like guys will pay for menial things we do. Who knew guys would pay to watch me try on clothes.

Twilight Sparkle: I had a few guys pay me to put on glasses and look at them perplexed.

Pinkie Pie: Guys just pay to watch me eat food with my tongue.

Fluttershy: I got paid for making cutesy animal calls.

 

Pinkie Pie: The whip cream was actually part of a revenge prank where we cover you with whip cream while you're asleep, take photos, and post them online. We decided that was a bit extreme.

Sunset Shimmer: I'm not feeling comfortable staying here any longer.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle. You may know me as the Princess of Friendship. Now I want to announce that I will be doing my own show called "The Friendship Critic". On this show I'll review the serious depths of media and rate the friendships of characters. Join me ever weeknight for analysis of friendship.

 

Pinkie Pie: The new director said I couldn't break the 4th wall anymore or I'll get a pay cut. *Looks at camera.*

 

Rarity: *Interview* Compared to the other five, I'm the sane one.

 

Rarity: Rainbow Dash at least won't fall from grace like that dishonorable Wonderbolt, when it comes time for a new young upstart to out performs her.

Rainbow Dash: *Realization Stare.* Yeah...

Edited April 3, 2016 by Singe

[Wolfeus Silverpaw 301]

Luna: "I am the Princess of Nightmares."

 

Celestia: "What? Oh, there's no crisis this time. I just called you all over to say hi."

 

Zecora: "All this rhyming's overrated. Oh, how I wish my script re-slated."

 

Spike: "I've loved you romantically all along, Twilight!"

 

Rarity: "A crime against fashion? I thought you were going to tell me something more important."

 

Cadence: "I use my magic to spread lust and confusion all across Equestria!"

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Congrats Applejack, you've went the entire day without saying a racist remark.

Applejack: Shucks, I told you I had more control than a dimwitted rampaging buffalo. Oops!

Twilight Sparkle: *Sigh.* We'll try again tomorrow.

 

Luna: The unnatural birth of an alicorn is a sign of troubling times ahead.

 

Starlight Glimmer: Look, I just don't feel comfortable visiting him.

Spike: It's okay. I just usually mark off the list, go waste time, and submit a false report. Twilight can never tell the difference.

 

Shining Armor: Cadance if you weren't an alicorn, I would have some serious questions about our baby. 

 

Rarity: I don't give two bits about the poor since they can't buy my clothes.

 

Rainbow Dash: I would be willing to share the same cloud with you, if you can distract Pinkie Pie for half of the day.

[Hazy Skies 1,010]

Celestia: I will fight this evil force, myself!

Luna: But sister! Wouldn't thee need my help?

Celestia: No, you're worthless and you'd get in the way..

Luna: O___O ... WHAT?!?!!!

 

Rainbow Dash: I would be willing to share the same cloud with you, if you can distract Pinkie Pie for half of the day.

 

Actually I think this is something that Rainbow WOULD say to some other pony if Pinkie was being obnoxiously annoying on that day and Rainbow can't take a nap..

Edited April 6, 2016 by AURAequine

[Luminance 2,181]

Eveypony in the show- "can we all take a break! We've been at this for 5 years now!"

[Sunny Fox 5,929]

"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!" - Maud Pie

[Singe 2,109]

Maud Pie: Give me back the party canon.

Male Pony: No, deal.

Maud Pie: *Points to Pinkie Pie and Rarity with a nod.* There are three of us.

Male Pony: Okay, you've peaked my interest.

 

Rarity: Where's your party canon?

Pinkie Pie: I traded it away.

Rarity: Oh, thank Celestia. That damn thing was annoying as hell.

 

Maud: We took shelter under a shed while it was down pouring strongly. It was just Boulder and me, alone.

Rarity: No, please stop. My mind is a mess with 50 Shades of Rock.

Maud: You're a prev.

 

Pinkie Pie: Maud always gives me the best gifts. Last year, she gave me money.

[crispy fries 432]

Applejack: I voted against gun control.

Rarity: I don't know how to pole dance.

Twilight: It was me who beat up that nerd.

Pinkie Pie: I do three lines of coke every morning.

Rainbowdash: I totally don't want a piece of Applejack.

Fluttershy: *loud rap music plays in the background* IMMA POP A CAP IN YO ASS.

Edited April 12, 2016 by crispy fries

[BRONYWARLORD 4]

APPLE JACK: CHIMICHERRYCHANGA

 

SPARKLE:  NO MORE BOOKS

 

RDASH:  SONIC IS FASTER THAN ME

[Razpul 55]

Twilight Sparkle: How do you pronounce this word Spike?

[Anonymous Old User Who Has Left 599]

Speaking of lines never said, there is some swearing in MLP that is canon. How many of these lines do you all remember?

 

Spike (once): "Holy guacamole!"

 

Applejack (numerous times): "Shoot!" "What in the hay!" (hay is OBVIOUSLY a pseudonym for hell)

 

Rainbow Dash (once): "That jerk!" (referring to Gilda) 

 

Pinkie Pie (countless times): "Well, DUH!" (Duh is a fairly rude slang word when someone doesn't catch the obvious)

 

Makes me question the show's staff's temptation to insert words like "dick" or "cock" now...

[LucyHorseThing 1]

Rainbow Dash: Clouds are really uncomfortable.

[Flutterstep 46,287]

Fluttershy: "To be righfully honest… I've never liked any of you girls; I'm just here because of, ya know… elements and what not."

 

Rainbow: "Rarity? Why spend all your time and money on making clothes, when nopony ever really wears clothes anyway?"

 

Sunset Shimmer: "Our legs are sooooo long. It's like the designer has never meet a human before."

 

Fluttershy: "Can you guys just call me Flutters from now on? You don't realise how painful it is to be constantly reminded of your major flaw, every time someone calls your name."

 

Spike: "I love Rarity …see, this is what happens when you are raised by ponies: a dragon who can't socialise properly with their own species and grows sexual attractions to equines."

 

Vinyl Scratch: "I'm not really into that Dead Mau Five band or what ever genre… wait. I… I CAN TALK?!"

[Singe 2,109]

Ember: Dragons don't do friendship.

Spike: Then how do baby dragons get made? If it's not love, then that means I was born by a mother who despises my existence?

Ember: This is getting uncomfortable.

 

Spike: So since we're friends, how about with go to the next level?

Ember: Dragons pair for life.

Spike: Well, never mind.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I've learned so much about dragons. Your kind isn't like the evil spawn from the pits of hell that I once believed.

 

Ember: Why would you risk your life to save her?

Spike: Because I love her.

Ember: You're a pony loving weirdo. 

Spike: So what?

Ember: You do know you can't...

Rarity: We don't need to hear this part.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you need to stop lying and leading him on.

Rarity: I wasn't going to go that far with him. It's sickening every-time I think about it.

Spike: Can we please drop it?

 

Spike: My first order as Dragon Lord, which one of you are my parents?

Edited April 23, 2016 by Singe

[Aurora Glimmer 494]

Starlight Glimmer doing anything other than moping about and feeling sorry for herself.

Edited April 28, 2016 by Silvestra Spooner

[cmarston1 5,951]

Marble Pie actually saying something of value for once.

Or actually using vowels.

Edited April 28, 2016 by cmarston1

[Singe 2,109]

Starlight Glimmer: So what happened that made you bad?

Trixie: I was a great show pony and made up a persona to make myself sound amazing. It was an act for a one pony show. Then I came to Ponyville and had deal with Twilight's heckling friends. For some reason, they made me out to be the villain because two flunks from an elementary school brought a monster to town and they expected me to deal with it. Twilight saved the day. I vowed revenge on Twilight and this backwater town.

Starlight Glimmer: *Jaw dropped.*

 

Applejack: Look at Trixie, I hate show boating.

Trixie fan: Excuse me, it's called acting and this is a one pony show.

Trixie fan: If you don't like it, just leave.

Applejack: Oh, I'm sorry.

Trixie fan: Maybe if you get off the farm once in a while, you'll learn more.

 

Rainbow Dash: My father always beat me.

[Luna 831 465]

Luna bucking awsome . Aww shucks

[Singe 2,109]

Starlight Glimmer: Meet my new friend.

Colt: I was promised a sleepover with two Princesses. Heh heh alright!

[cuteycindyhoney 13,283]

"For pony's sake, wise up! Equestria orbits the sun! The moon orbits Equestria! Celestia and Luna don't do squat!"

- Princess Twilight Sparkle

 

"Big sister, our cover is blown! Can I banish Twilight now?"

- Luna

 

"Banish nothing! Princess Twilight, I sentence you to death for heresy! Off with her head!"

- Celestia

 

"Screw the Wonderbolts. The Shadowbolts have better uniforms, not to mention a great health care package!"

- Rainbow Dash

 

"I'm getting really tired of all these empty calories. Dang it all, I'd kill for a nice green salad!"

- Pinkie Pie

 

"The numbers are in. The GMO apples may taste like cow-pies, but they're far cheaper to grow! Apples, science is gonna make us rich!"

- Applejack

 

"Quit your whining, blank flank. You'll get your cutie mark when you figure out how to stop being a worthless little dweeb!"

- Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle

 

"What, you can't pay full price? Off the rack is good enough for you then! Get the hay out of my boutique!"

- Rarity

 

"Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits!"

- Fluttershy

 

"My parent's second kid is such a b*tch! Hey Starlight Glimmer, why didn't you go back in time just a little farther and give my pop some prophylactics?"

- Shining Armor

 

"Shining dear, not tonight. I'm off to inspect the guard barracks. Don't wait up!"

- Cadence

[Singe 2,109]

Starlight Glimmer: The movie was way better than the book.

Twilight Sparkle: Get out!

 

"A Hearth's Warming Tale" movie done the same way as Disney's A Christmas Carol with Jim Carrey. Pinkie Pie laughing and dying at the same time.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand why the characters just doesn't sit down and work it out.

Rainbow Dash: That's because the story would be over in a few minutes.

 

Rarity: *Crying.* Oh my God, I'm fat!

 

Spitfire: My nickname was Sunny Delight.

 

Applejack: it's not what you think. I was just scratching my flank on the apple tree. Nothing more.

 

Twilight Sparkle: So I will read you a story.

Starlight Glimmer: Why are you doing this? You said I had the day off.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, I did.

Starlight Glimmer: And, you're trying to teach me a lesson on my day off?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh...

 

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, repeat the rule.

Spike: Bite or claw a pony and it's euthanasia for Spike.

 

Rainbow Dash: One minute stands is more of my thing.

Edited May 21, 2016 by Singe

[powerpuff-tsubasa 447]

i only can remember pinkie pie's line: okie dokie loki

[Singe 2,109]

Zephyr Breeze: Let me tell you, it's very impressive.

Rainbow Dash: Your brother kept insisting I go up with him to his room.

 

Rainbow Dash: He's not going to last a night.

Fluttershy: I could ask that friendly pack of wolves we passed by earlier to keep an eye on him.

 

Zephyr Breeze: Hey big sis, guess who came to live with you?

Fluttershy: Oh, feather me.

 

Zephyr Breeze: So you found me the perfect job.

Fluttershy: Yep, you'll be a test subject for pony experimentation. Simple instructions, minimum work.

Zephyr Breeze: That sounds good.

Fluttershy: They'll also strap you down, cast experimental spells on you, and inject you with various chemicals.

Zephyr Breeze: *Gets dragged away.* What?

Fluttershy; Byeeee.

 

Zephyr Breeze: Just remember Rainbow Dash, my door will always be unlocked for you. *Leaves.*

Rainbow Dash: The first criminal I come across, I'm going to tell them where your brother lives.

 

Pinkie Pie: *Cries* I'm so sorry. I ate your Big Mac flank cake. It looked so delicious and I couldn't resist.

Applejack: *Confused.* What?

 

Twilight Sparkle: So Starlight Glimmer, how was Ponyville?

Starlight Glimmer: They were a bunch of *bleep*. I don't know how you put up with those *bleep*.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, clearly something went wrong. We can work on it tomorrow.

Starlight Glimmer: Not likely since I'm on everyone's *bleep* list.

Twilight Sparkle: Change of plans, we're working on your language tomorrow. By the way where's Spike?

Starlight Glimmer: He said something about his *bleep* girlfriend or some *bleep*.

Edited June 12, 2016 by Singe

[cmarston1 5,951]

Apple Bloom: Twist you are my very bestest friend.

Twist: Really?

Apple Bloom: Nope.   Now that you got your cutie mark it is time for me to ditch you for new friends and never talk to you ever again.

Twist: 

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Well I'm back. So where's Flash? I haven't seen him since I got back.

Sunset Shimmer: Well...

Random Student: Oh hey Twilight, did you hear about Flash?

Twilight Sparkle: No, what happened?

Random Student: Ah man, he's living it up in the penitentiary for life. 

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Random Student: He was like a stressed out chord that just snapped. His step-father found a new gig in another country and was planning to tour there with the family. Backstage politics and conflicts of direction. Flash went total axel body spray on his step-father. Cops stopped Flash before he could take a stage dive into the mosh pit. He kept yelling your name. Sad to see such a thing happen.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Can somebody translate what he just said?

Sunset Shimmer: Flash is on vacation with his family in another country.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, okay.

Random Student: Yo, Sunset. Why you be twisting reality like that?

Edited June 13, 2016 by Singe