Jump to content
Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky

Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.


Singe

Recommended Posts

(edited)

Starlight Glimmer: So I cast a spell that makes everyone tell the truth........of their deepest darkest secrets.

Applejack: How could you? You've been dangerously close to using this magic like the phase in my life I was completely obsessed with Big Mac being all mine. *Gasp.*

Pinkie Pie: Don't worry about it. I too have a thing for Ms. Cake and the mister just needs to be out of the picture.

Fluttershy: I would be angry, but not as much as I have hatred towards Angel.

Rarity: We just need to calm down. It's nothing major like how I was happy to have another unicorn being my friend until that stupid horse up and changes into an alicorn.

Rainbow Dash: All of your reactions are funny. Not as crazy as the stuff I did at summer flight camp. I feel so ashamed.

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, you need to figure out how to dispel this before everyone finds out I plagiarize most of my work. Oh dear.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, you don't look so good. You haven't been getting enough sleep?

Starlight Glimmer: *Grumpy* How could I? Every night it's either of you two making a racket. I keep hearing the same words being shouted every night, "Princess Celestia! Princess Celestia!! Princess CELESTIA!!!" or "Rarity! Rarity!! RARITY!!!" 

Twilight Sparkle: *Blushes* I don't know what that would be about.

 

 

 

Edited by Singe
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

(edited)

Cadence - "I love everypony...but earth ponies."

Shining Armor - "Ya know, Queen Chrysalis was kinda hot for a bug. Don't even get me started on what a good kisser she is!"

Rarity - "Rare-Mart is spreading faster than I had hoped, Darlings. Now sew, colts and fillies. Sew like the wind, or it's off to the glue factory with you!"

Twilight - "I'll just wait for the movie to come out."

Rainbow Dash - "Hey Applejack, what's this new drink you need that big tank, camp fire, and the copper coil thingie for made of?"

Applejack - "It's called Scrumble. It's made of apples, well, mainly apples. Some folks call it Sui-cider. Care for a snort?"

Rainbow Dash - (three mugs later) "Tha-that's good stuff! Think I'll do a somulant rain BURP!' Falls over sideways.

(Thank you, Sir Terry Pratchett!)

Fluttershy - "Scrumble? Can it be used as a marinade for rab, uh, I mean carrots?"

Princess Celestia - "Equestria is under attack? Oh please. Not now. Sent Twilight and her annoying friends. If they live, we'll just put up another illustrated window or something."

Princess Luna - (Munching popcorn) "I just LOVE watching Applebloom's nightmares!"

Pinkie Pie - "I just love throwing a good wake! When is Granny Smith gonna finally kick it?"

Starlight Glimmer - "I would have pulled it off, if it wasn't for those meddling ponies and their baby dragon!"

Discord - "I just can't seem to get organized!"

Mayor Mare - "What do you mean, recount?"

 

 

 

Edited by cuteycindyhoney
  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

(edited)

Applejack: I don't want to help those smelly violent yaks.

Pinkie Pie: Applejack how dare you, make an accurate statement that I can't say is insulting.

 

Ember: Are you sure you're friends and not just a slave to those ponies?

Spike: I'm sure. If you doubt it, I have left them three times.

Ember: Yet, they followed you and brought you back every time. Your masters are right over there hiding in the bush.

Spike: I can prove it. Why yes, King Ember I would like to assist you for a while to run things.

Rarity: You promised to help me on my next project, Spike!

Spike: I'm sorry, I was only kidding!

Ember: See.

Spike: *Sigh.*

 

Pinkie Pie: You have to get help!

Prince Rutherford: You do not understand yak culture! You're no yak!

Pinkie Pie: Of course I don't understand yak culture, I have a pony brain! Stupid!

Prince Rutherford: You call me stupid!

Pinkie Pie: I would call you a stubborn mule, but that would be insulting to the mules!

Prince Rutherford: You dare insult me to my face!

Pinkie Pie: *Gets in his face.* Yeah, bub. Whatcha going to do?

--------------------

Pinkie Pie: And that's what happen.

*Everyone in the room mouth drop.*

Twilight Sparkle: I'm still processing this. How exactly can a heated argument end up with you and Prince Rutherford kissing?

Rarity: It's called making out, dear. A common story plot in spicy romance novels. So how far did it go?

Pinkie Pie: Gummy decided to interrupt. It was funny. 

 

Edited by Singe
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Applejack: Aren't you worried that Rarity is bad influence on Spike?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't see a problem.

Spike: *Infatuated.* Ah. Mistress Rarity commanded me to kiss her hoof today.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I see your point.

 

Garble: I ain't afraid of any ponies, unless it's an army or they have anti-dragon weapons or spells.

 

Spike: As your dragon king, I command Garble to clean yourself like a dog.

 

Pinkie Pie: Whoa, you have a place dedicated to that handsome celebrity. A lock of hair and bottles....

Rarity: Get away from my shrine!

 

Rainbow Dash: The worse part of being a Wonderbolt is having to fill out paper work every time I crash, injure a pony, or cause collateral damage.

 

  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bright Mac: YOU DID WHAT WITH MY OLD HAMMER SLAMMER?!?!?!?!?!

Applejack: Ah sorta bucked it a bit too hard!

Bright Mac: Bucked it too hard? Don't ya have ANY IDEA how long it took me to find a perfect bell for the damn thing?!?!?! YER GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!

(Applejack goes to her room crying)

Big Mac: Dad, please. The bell couldn't have gone that far. 

Applebloom: But Big Mac, what if it cracked when it landed? Those bells are pretty expensive.

Bright Mac: Yer right, Applebloom. Ah had to go all the way to Manehattan to purchase that bell.

  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Twilight Sparkle - "Hey Starlight, I've been thinking. Wanna help me depose Celestia?"

Starlight  - "Only if you let me take her Cutie mark."

Bon Bon - "For Celestria's sake Lyra, would you get the buck away from me?"

Derpy - "I'm Queen of the bagels!"

Mrs. Cake - "I don't give a flying feather what you think! Sign the divorce papers or I restrict all your visitation rights!"

Mr. Cake - "What? Child support? Look at 'em! They aren't even mine!"

Pinkie Pie - "oh, oh! Can I have them if nopony wants them?"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake - "NOOO!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*suspicious whispering*

twilight: hey, whats the deal with celestia, why is she so tall??

rainbow dash: i know right?? what kind of big shot does she thing she is? a princess??

applejack: well duh idiot, she IS a princess.

rarity: i know! she is a HORSE!

*room goes silent*

princess celestia: hey noobs! what are you doing?

fluttershy: -_-

spike: im out.

 

Edited by pobe101
did not like what i wrote
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pear Butter: Dad? Is that you?

Grand Pear: Yup. Sure is, Pear Butter. I never should have left you.

Bright Mac: Yer not still mad at her, are ya?

Grand Pear: Nope. I'm only mad at myself now. (Big McIntosh, Applejack, and Applebloom come out of the house) Especially since I never got to see my grandchildren until now. They're all grown up and got their cutie marks, I should've been here for them.

Pear Butter: Dad, it's so nice of you to come back, but I'm not sure the children will understand.

  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, who are all these ponies?
Applejack: They call themselves the Sweet Apple Admirers. They say they read my journal entries, and they felt like a part of the family. And now they actually wanna become part of the family!
[camera flashes]
Twilight Sparkle: Your journal entries?
Applejack: Yeah, you know, all the stuff about how friends are like family and whatnot?
Twilight Sparkle: Can't you get rid of them? Just say that they aren't your friends, and therefore aren't your family.
Applejack: Good idea Twilight, I wish I thought of it earlier.
 
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

(Prince Blueblood is coaching the Equestria International Football team, the Canterlot Knights in a game against the evil forces of the Dallas Cowboys in the Universal Football Alliance world championship game. This is what started before the game)

Grand Pear: (From the bleachers) HEY! BLUEBLOOD!! YOU'RE THE WORST COACH THIS TEAM HAS EVER HAD!!!!

Pear Butter: He's the ONLY coach this team has ever had, and we're undefeated coming into this game.

G.P.: Well, he's been thrown out of every single game he coaches.

P.B.: You know, dad. It's very easy to criticize.

(Trailing 7-28 against the Cowboys, the quarterback Shining Armor throws a pass to Rarity who takes it to the endzone for a Canterlot touchdown. Rarity then does a glamorous pose)

Pear Butter: Wow, she's quite a field fashionista.

Grand Pear: Ah, ya got lucky, Blueblood. AND FIX THAT HAT!!!!!

Blueblood: Sheesh! Thanks for that, Grand Pear.

(Almost halftime. S.A. fires a pass to Rainbow Dash, who trots past the Cowboys defense for a Canterlot touchdown. Applejack's extra point attempt is good. Game is tied at 28 as the crowd cheers)

Grand Pear: BLUUUUUUUUEBLOOOOOOOOOD! BLUUUUUUUUUUEBLOOOOOOOOOOD!

Blueblood: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Grand Pear: GAME'S OUT THERE!!!!!! HAHAHAHA MADE YA LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

Blueblood: (Turns away and groans) They're just words, Blueblood. Words can't hurt you! (Grand Pear throws an empty Apple Cider can at Blueblood) OWWWW!!! THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!

Applebloom: Grandpa, that was really mean!!!

Grand Pear: I know, Applebloom! And Ah got im right in the..... Uh-Oh! (Blueblood comes marching up to Grand Pear with a very pissed off expression on his face) Uh- Hihihihihihi, Hi, Blueblood!

Blueblood: You got a beef with the way I'm COACHING?

Grand Pear: Ah no. It's just that I've heard fans talking smack sayin anypony with half a brain could coach better than you.

Blueblood: Half a brain, huh? Well you know what?! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU JUST VOLUNTEERED!!!!!!! (He slips the clipboard and hat into Grand Pear's posession)

Grand Pear: Me? But you were doin such a great job!

To be continued

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fame And Misfortune:

 

Nearly Everypony: "...Now that our happy-pills have finally kicked in, we just want to let you guys know that our recent psychosis against you has been inexcusable -- and we're willing to try and make up for it by, say, compensating you for any damages we've caused to Sweet Apple Acres and Carousel Boutique."

Edited by A.V.
  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sunset Shimmer: I'll take this lizard for a pet.

Fluttershy: I can't give him to you.

Sunset Shimmer: Why not?

Fluttershy: You don't have a home, you live by a dumpster next to Arby's.

 

Sunset Shimmer: Morning girls.

Rarity: Morning Sunset, I see you're look spiffy with those new clothes....which just came in last night. Sunset, you've been stealing clothes from my store again!

 

Applejack: What's wrong Big Mac?

Big Mac: Uh...you're friend....wash tub out back....only with a towel....I need to go!

Applejack: Dagnabbit, Sunset is using the wash tub out back again.

 

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spike: I was given a nickname by the dragons, Little S.

Twilight Sparkle: *Laughs.* It fits.

 

Celestia: Luna, where are you going?

Luna: I must go out and protect the world from the Negaverse with my companions.

Celestia: Twilight and her friends?

Luna: No, my pony planet guardians.

Celestia: Wait, when did you....

Luna: No time dear sister. In the name of the moon I will punish you, evil. *Flies away.*

Celestia: Huh, they must be holding a convention somewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(edited)

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: I'm confused about Rainbow Dash's and Applejack's elements of harmony. Applejack should be the element of loyalty since she works hard to help others and Rainbow Dash should be honesty since she gives out the hard truth.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: What's the deal with Rarity and Spike? It looks like she's just leading him on and taking advantage of that as her own servant.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Speaking of Spike, what's the deal with Twilight keeping a dragon? Who's his parents? Was he stolen from the dragons? I'm getting the reflection of Spike being Twilight's dragon slave. Also who in their right minds would continue to keep a dangerous creature that rampaged through Ponyville.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: How come Twilight and her friends never faced criminal justice for their destruction and disturbances to the public? Shouldn't you all be bankrupted for paying for all the damages?

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Is Pinkie Pie psychotic? She stalks other ponies and has issues. Was she abused by her parents?

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: How can Fluttershy still be alive living with wild predatory animals? Has no one called the authorities on this animal hoarder and verify she has proper licenses?

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle shipping. Talk about a waste of time with a piece of cardboard.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: I see no hint of Twilight Sparkle having any actual degrees in fields of sociology and psychology while claiming to be an expert. 

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Twilight Sparkle goes to a new dimension and makes friends with the same characters. That sounds lazy for someone saying to be a Princess of Friendship.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Some of the entries in this book read like you're all living in your own bubble.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Why was Trixie in the wrong when Twilight's friends were heckling her? She was trying to make a living you monsters.

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: I'm confused about Lightning Dust being completely at fault when Twilight and her friends came into the Wonderbolt's air space unannounced. In a later entry, it's referenced that the Wonderbolts do enforce strict rules of keeping control of certain spaces for their use. I also find it hard to believe that it had to take a series of events to get Lighting Dust out of the way because Rainbow Dash couldn't beat Lightning Dust in competition. 

Random Friendship Lesson Book Reader: Lighting Dust is mentioned to be reckless for a tornado by Rainbow Dash then in a later entry Rainbow Dash blows up a weather factory. That's the pot calling the kettle black.

 

Edited by Singe
  • Brohoof 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/13/2017 at 9:55 PM, A.V. said:

Fame And Misfortune:

 

Nearly Everypony: "...Now that our happy-pills have finally kicked in, we just want to let you guys know that our recent psychosis against you has been inexcusable -- and we're willing to try and make up for it by, say, compensating you for any damages we've caused to Sweet Apple Acres and Carousel Boutique."

 

*Later, after said compensation...*

 

DJ Pon-3 / Vinyl Scratch (over the radio): "Good news, boppers. The big alert has been called off. It turns out that the early reports were wrong, all wrong. Now for that group out there that had such a hard time getting home, sorry about that. I guess the only thing we can do is play you a song."

 

P.S.: Brohoof if you get the reference.

Edited by A.V.
  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...