Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

Princess Celestia: I am the princess of the other sun, the one that lives underground that the mole people hide from.

[Singe 2,109]

Rarity: You're gorgeous in that dress, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Thanks.

Pinkie Pie: Twilight definitely want to get together with Flash and *makes a variety of goofy noises.*

Applejack: What was that?

Pinkie Pie: Just my way of implying to adults what Twilight and Flash is going to do in a G-rated way.

[HereComesTom 2,232]

Twilight Sparkle:  I declare that Ponyville now has an official state religion:  nepotism!

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Pinkie: "Gee Brain what are we going to do today?"

Twilight: "The same thing we do everyday Pinkie. TRY TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!"

(Cue Pinkie and the Brain Music)

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, you have been lying to me the entire time. Everything I've done makes me feel like I've been a tool to tie up your loose ends.

 

Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad everything worked out between us, Sunset Shimmer. Ha. Good thing I didn't follow through on Princess Celestia other order to execute you. 

Sunset Shimmer: What?

[Luigi 7,868]

Picture this: Big McIntosh and Applejack standing under an apple tree which unknowingly, Rainbow Dash is taking a nap in.

 

Big McIntosh: Send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said (Apple falls on Big McIntosh's head) OW!!!!!

 

Applejack: Send wire, main office, tell them I said "OW." Gotcha.

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Picture this: Big McIntosh and Applejack standing under an apple tree which unknowingly, Rainbow Dash is taking a nap in.

 

Big McIntosh: Send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said (Apple falls on Big McIntosh's head) OW!!!!!

 

Applejack: Send wire, main office, tell them I said "OW." Gotcha.

(Later at the main office)

 

"Sir! I bring a message from big M" an officer said as he ran up to his CO

 

"Calm down and tell me what the message is" the CO responded.

 

The officer nodded "Big M said the relay the message of "OW" he replied.

 

The CO nodded gravely "I see... then apparently we must now begin Operation Whipeout on Ponyville. This must mean our network of spies there has been highly compromised. Give the order to begin the operation at dawn",

Edited March 1, 2017 by Twilight-Shimmer

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: This book isn't even good enough to wipe my flank.

 

Twilight Sparkle: *Reads a book about horse biology. Blushes*

Applejack: You've been staring at that colt for three minutes.

Twilight Sparkle: *Surprised* I wasn't thinking of that.

 

Mane 5 reads a book of colts from the human world. Making whistling sounds and suggestive tones.

[cmarston1 5,951]

Apple Bloom: So what you're telling me is that after you lost a friend after they got their cutie mark before you did, you became inspired to start a cult in which you used powerful magic in order to strip ponies away from their cutie marks, and get rid of their free will, turning them into brainwashed zombies, and after that failed, you decided the most sensible solution was to use even more powerful magic in order to rewrite the fabric of space and time in order to make your enemies suffer for all eternity?

 

Starlight Glimmer: I guess you could say that.

 

Apple Bloom: Sheesh, not even Rarity is that much of a drama queen.

Edited March 2, 2017 by cmarston1

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

Applejack: Eating apples causes me to break out into hives.

[Nightshroud 331]

Celestia: fuck you Disney!!

Luna: oh my god this tune is annoying

Discord: anything logical

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

Princess Luna: I'm not the Princess of the Night. That was a lie which I've been telling for years just to make myself sound cool compared to my sister and what she represents. In truth, I am the Princess of the Sunset.

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Any Character: "Die you mother bucking plothole!"  (if thats too far I apologize )

[Singe 2,109]

Princess Luna: Spike, do you understand the task at hand?

Spike: Sorry, I was too occupied staring at your moon.

 

Princess Luna: Only dogs and wolves howl at my moon.

 

Construction Colt: *Sexy whistle.* I like the way you move that cutie mark!

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

Princess Celestia: My mane isn't real. It's just a very well fabricated wig.

[cmarston1 5,951]

Princess Celestia: My mane isn't real. It's just a very well fabricated wig.

Or:

Princess Celestia: My mane isn't real, it is just an incredibly advanced hologram.

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

@@cmarston1

 

That works too.

 

Flash Sentry: I'm no longer a rocker. Nope, I've now become a fashionista.

[Singe 2,109]

Princess Celestia: It's been decades since a colt had the guts to make a move on me.

Princess Luna: For me, the only one was too young. Once he's old enough, maybe he'll be willing to experience the lunar cycle.

Princess Celestia: I am so jealous

Edited March 3, 2017 by Singe

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Celestia sighed  "Damn it all to Tartarus! How many Bucking times will that mare blow herself up!" Celestia complained looking at the remains of one Twilight Sparkle before teleporting away and appearing in a lab filled with many tubes full of liquid and copys of a certain purple pony. turning to a Technician she barked out an order "Activate back up number 2,795"

Edited March 4, 2017 by Twilight-Shimmer

[Bit Boss 213]

"I didn't ask for any of this!!!" - Twilight

[Twilight-Shimmer 151]

Dr Whooves: "Derpy you gotta come back with me!"

Derpy: "Back?, Back where?"

Dr Whooves: "Back to the Future!"

[cmarston1 5,951]

Midnight Sparkle: Now no one can possibly stand in my way!  Not even that overgrown manchild Discord.

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity you're a mess. What happened?

Rarity: I just woke up with a hangover and next to several strangers. Which reminds me. Oh right, it's time to get up and get out?!

[Denim&Venöm 16,503]

"Who wants to play Jenga!?" 

 

                                  - King Sombra

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

I ate his liver with a side of fava beans and a ice chianti.