Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[Treeglow Flicker 13,017]

Silverstream: Fuck all these stairs!

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Now that we discovered the power of friendship, let's use it to crush our enemies.

 

Trixie: Starlight, if you didn't trade away my home. I was willing to go all the way with you, but it ain't happening.

Starlight Glimmer: All the way, what is she going on about?

[Mongo 45]

Applejack: Damnit Braeburn you had one job!!!

[RDDash 18,864]

Starlight: Forget that shit we are wizards.

Trixie: What do you did with my house?It's bigger on the inside.

Starlight: Exactly, could you imagine if I sold your home for better one? 

[CypherHoof 26,479]

7 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Starlight: Forget that shit we are wizards.

Trixie: What do you did with my house?It's bigger on the inside.

Starlight: Exactly, could you imagine if I sold your home for better one? 

Trixie: Starlight, That strange Dr Whooves character is here looking annoyed...

Starlight: Sounds normal enough.

[Mongo 45]

Sugar Belle: Big Mac?

Big Mac: Eeyup?

Sugar Belle: Want to make a cream pie with me?

Big Mac: EEEYUP!!!

 

[CypherHoof 26,479]

5 hours ago, Mongo said:

Sugar Belle: Big Mac?

Big Mac: Eeyup?

Sugar Belle: Want to make a cream pie with me?

Big Mac: EEEYUP!!!

 

-1 year later-

Apple Bloom: What a cute little foal! what are you calling her?

Sugar Belle: Cream Pie

-Big Mac blushes-

[RDDash 18,864]

14 hours ago, CypherHoof said:

Trixie: Starlight, That strange Dr Whooves character is here looking annoyed...

Starlight: Sounds normal enough.

Starlight: Tell him we have a swimming pool

Trixie: We have a swimming pool

Starlight: We do now.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

2 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Starlight: Tell him we have a swimming pool

Trixie: We have a swimming pool

Starlight: We do now.

Trixie: Ok, did that. He left, muttering something about why have a name like "pond" if you can't swim?"

[Sparklefan1234 161,858]

Scootaloo: "I don't care about my friends, I wanna travel!"

[RDDash 18,864]

Scootaloo: My parents were arrested today, and they were going to say sorry to my schoolteacher tommorow. Oh well

[Singe 2,109]

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer why do you torture me.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Alright, we'll do this using the power of...

Mane 5: Guns!

Twilight Sparkle: No guns! We're using magic!

Applejack: Magic? You do know it was magic that caused this mess in the first place.

Rarity: Why do you think this town has a long history of burning witches? Magic is just trouble.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding me?

 

Sunset Shimmer: I would suggest you be careful around this city Twilight. Wouldn't want everyone finding out you're a magical creature from another world.

Twilight Sparkle. What's so bad about that?

Sunset Shimmer: The city has a bad history of burning those that use magic.

 

Princess Celestia: Another long night.

Princess Luna: Yes, more torturing that photographer who couldn't bother to take a proper picture.

 

Discord: I do love pranks. My favorite is taking Rainbow Dash's wings away. She completely loses for a while. Then it gets depressing where she all sad and contemplating her continuing existence. Finally, I give them back when she's about to give up on living.

 

 

 

 

[Singe 2,109]

Rainbow Dash: I can't believe you got the Ponyville team disqualified!

Quibble Pants: I was just checking the buck ball rule book. Not my fault Fluttershy's tail violated the maximum tail length rule.

Rainbow Dash: The other teams are now demanding Fluttershy be checked for tail extensions!

 

Quibble Pants: I don't know how to win her over.

Rainbow Dash: Maybe stop being such a NERD!

 

Sandbar: Yona, you don't have to try so hard to be like a pony. Just be yourself.

Yona: Yona will.

Sandbar: Besides I always had a strong attraction for female yaks.

Yona: What was that?

Sandbar: Nothing.

 

Gallu: Sandbar asking Yona to the dance. 50 bits he winds up in the hospital with a shattered pelvis the day after the dance.

Smolder: You're on.

 

Twilight Sparkle: My school's Amity Ball will not be special without our token creatures...I mean our special friends.

Edited June 17, 2019 by Singe

[RDDash 18,864]

Principal Celestia: Do you think they know?

Principal Luna: That we are a pair of immortal vampires that lived for thousands of years.

Both: looked at each other and shrugged, "Nuh"

Edited June 18, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,109]

Mudbriar: Technically, that's not how you use a knife properly.

Pinkie Pie: Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Finally, he's gone for good and I can have Maud back.

*One month later.*

Maud Pie: I miss Mudbriar. I wonder where's he at?

Pinkie Pie: Oh he's probably lost in the inferno torment of the underworld for being a smartass saying God doesn't exist to his face.

Maud Pie: Huh.....that does sound like him.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

2 hours ago, Singe said:

Mudbriar: Technically, that's not how you use a knife properly.

Pinkie Pie: Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Finally, he's gone for good and I can have Maud back.

*One month later.*

Maud Pie: I miss Mudbriar. I wonder where's he at?

Pinkie Pie: Oh he's probably lost in the inferno torment of the underworld for being a smartass saying God doesn't exist to his face.

Maud Pie: Huh.....that does sound like him.

Maud Pie:Pinkie, any idea how this happened?

Pinkie: I asked Silverstream to use her pet Cockatrice to change him back to stone again. He is much, MUCH less annoying this way.

Maud Pie: Well, he is at least 20% hotter like this, so I am good with it.

[RDDash 18,864]

Rainbow Dash: oh my gosh AK did you really wrote all of those books?

AK: no, of course not, that would just take my time from my already busy schedule of exploring the jungles as a Daring Do. I have a dedicated team of ghostwriters to help me.

Edited June 18, 2019 by R.D.Dash

[Singe 2,109]

Grogar: You have failed again.

Cozy Glow: Grumpy Grogar must not have had his daily tin can yet.

Grogar: Are you make a joke out of me. Here let me show you what I find funny.

*One painful spell later.*

Cozy Glow: I can't believe Grogar turned me inside out!

Tirek: Well it is a huge improvement.

Chrysalis: It might even help you make friends.

Cozy Glow: Not funny!

Grogar: Let that be a lesson to you all. I didn't recruit a bunch of smart asses. Maybe when I feel in the mood, I'll change you back Cozy Glow.

 

[CypherHoof 26,479]

7 hours ago, Singe said:

Grogar: You have failed again.

Cozy Glow: Grumpy Grogar must not have had his daily tin can yet.

Grogar: Are you make a joke out of me. Here let me show you what I find funny.

*One painful spell later.*

Cozy Glow: I can't believe Grogar turned me inside out!

Tirek: Well it is a huge improvement.

Chrysalis: It might even help you make friends.

Cozy Glow: Not funny!

Grogar: Let that be a lesson to you all. I didn't recruit a bunch of smart asses. Maybe when I feel in the mood, I'll change you back Cozy Glow.

 

Cozy Glow: That's OK Gwogar, WEAL friends LIKE you for who you are on the inthide....

Edited June 19, 2019 by CypherHoof

[Singe 2,109]

Spike: So you've forgotten about Moondancer and returning an overdue library book. Is there anything else you forgot in Canterlot?

Twilight Sparkle: Nope, that's everything.

Spike: Really. Nothing, like maybe something buried that you forgot.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! I just remembered Spike! There was a buried body of a pony I did not intentionally mean to kill. I was suppose to retrieve it and mysteriously return to her family.

Spike: Are you kidding me?!

 

Cozy Glow: Once I'm done with Tirek and Chrysalis, they'll be friends. Then the shipping phase begins.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is the greatest gift of all.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, if you're like so cheap to bother getting them gift.

Shining Armor: You're wrong Twilight. Love is the greatest gift of all.

 

Grogar: During my reign, I officiated over 100 weddings.

Cozy Glow: What kind of weddings?

Grogar: Some unholy ones but mainly smart mouths with the ground.

 

Applejack: I just don't know what to get Spike.

Fluttershy: You could just buy some wrapping paper and a bow. Then give him Rarity gift wrapped.

Applejack: Heh, heh. He'll love that gift. Let's save that as a Plan B.

 

 

[RDDash 18,864]

Octavia: Wait what am I doing living in this dump?

DJ: shrugs There is not a single night club in this hick town

Octavia: The princess of friendship lives here.

DJ: True, I once did a gig for one of her friends, the prissy one.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

2 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Octavia: Wait what am I doing living in this dump?

<green flash>

bonbon: you are here because you love me and would never want to be apart from me

Octavia: <dazed> what just happened?

[Flutterstep 46,287]

Octavia: Why do we live with each other?

DJ: Because no one listens to your boring music anymore, so you can’t even afford to live on your own without having to sell what’s left of your valueless instruments. Not to mention the fact you’ve never been on a date in years. You will never meet anyone ever again.

Octavia: You’re talkative today...

[RDDash 18,864]

Starlight: I have great news Twilight, I am pregnant.

Twilight: I am so happy for you and Sunburst.

Starlight: Oh, no no. Spike is the father.

Twilight spills coffee in surprise.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

3 hours ago, R.D.Dash said:

Starlight: I have great news Twilight, I am pregnant.

Twilight: I am so happy for you and Sunburst.

Starlight: Oh, no no. Spike is the father.

Twilight spills coffee in surprise.

Rarity: Oh! I let him be my -first- and he was two-timing me with.... THAT?

<faints onto conveniently placed fainting couch>