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How come it's more comforting to talk to the opposite sex?


MrJK

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Because opposite sex turns you on. Think about sex and you forget all your problems...therefore comforting.

 

I use to think that way, until the male population proved me wrong.

Seems like all men are perverts, -.-'

 

There's a price for having to listen to you :V Edited by Lady Rarity Pony
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Actually, this is true for me. I do feel more comforted around men.

 

But the difference is minimal, first of all. And secondly, I actually have a tendency to make more male friends for some bizarre reason. I barely have any female friends at the moment. And my two top best friends are both guys. They seem more mellow and less prissy about drama. And I'm kind of a tomboy. My interests are mainly about masculine things, like video games, which I don't find many girls who like in real life. Although I don't really like how I get treated like a romantic/sexual object by heterosexual men a lot of the time.

 

Also, because of the gigantic sausagefest that follows me around a lot of the time, I often do yearn for some female friends and connections. Because we can connect on a different level that me and men cannot.

Edited by Arylett Dawnsborough
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I think that there are always certain things that male and female focus on, and therefor it might be quite comforting to speak to another (i know, stereotypes, yeah yeah... But it kinda is true, tho.)

 

But I'm kinda scared to talk to guys about something drastic. Okay, not only guys, to anyone. I don't trust people anymore. Many times I've spoken to somebody and thought of him/her as a friend, and then he/she just loses interest and tries to get rid of me. Meh.

 

But I think that certain types of problems require a certain type of help - female or male.

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I wouldn't know, because I don't have any problems.

 

 

 

 

Okay, serious now. I haven't really noticed this. I'm more of a listener than a talker, and my friends will often my friends, male and female, vent to me. Apparently I'm good at that, genuinely listening, even if I don't have much to offer in the way of help. Also, even though I'm male, I'm not motivated by sex, as shank would have you believe :)

When I do talk about my innermost feelings and problems and whatnot, which is pretty rare, it's generally to one of my two best friends. One is male and the other is female, and I trust both of them completely, so I can't really tell who I'm more comfortable with :P

Edited by Evilshy
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The possibility of pity sex isn't the reason. That would just be a perk.

 

You see, men tend to be more goal driven than women; while women tend to be more driven by feeling. That doesn't mean that women don't have goals or that men don't have feelings. Just the focus is different. There are exceptions to the rule of course, but I'm just talking in general.

 

What does this have to do with comfort? Well, men tend to go to women in their lives with their worries, because women tend to be more sympathetic and likely to make them feel better. Women, on the other hand, will share worries with a man to ensure that he'll stick with her (not necessarily as a mate or anything like that). Men know they can't trust other men to take their feelings seriously, women want to know men they can trust to take their feelings seriously.

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Well, I'd think it's because when you're sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, that's a really personal thing to do. And at least for men, we have to project an image of being "strong". Opening up and spilling your inner thoughts might seem..."weak"...to some people, and thus it's better to talk to the opposite gender, where they don't haev to carry on the stereotype. It's exactly like MLP-it's probably more comfortable talking to bronies than it is to others on the internet, because you don't have to build an image of toughness.

 

Also because bronies tend to be nicer, but that's irrelevant >_>

 

Yup, I dont feel much confortable talking to guys about myself because I will probably seem weak, that's why I talk to girls.

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Probably because of the competitiveness, like NeverNeverland said. You can't say you've never been talking to someone of your gender and been extremely competitive over something. Me and my friends will compete over the stupidest things, and for reasons beyond my understanding, too; we got into a fight over who could swing the longest time from a tree branch, who could kill more enemies in a video game, who could catch my neighbor's cat, and all sorts of pointless crap.

 

And then when you're talking to the opposite sex, it's just not the same...

 

Shankveld, LRP, you two made my day with those posts :lol:

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It isn't. *Bitter ol' queer*

 

Ah ha, I'm being facetious.

 

 

There's less competition staked between two folk of the opposite sex.

 

Because I'm playing to the whole "sensitive guy" thing in the hopes of gettin poon.

 

Lima Tengo this is Air Moose One, the Strait Doods have been compromised; abort mission.

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I go to my girl friends when I'm upset and want to be comforted.

I go to my male friends when I'm upset and want to laugh.

And for their folksy man advice.

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I use to think that way, until the male population proved me wrong.

Seems like all men are perverts, -.-'

 

Aaaaaand all my respect for you flew out the window.

 

I have two reasons for you thinking this way:

 

1. You surround yourself with the shitty side of the male population.

 

2. You think any time a guy tries to help you they're trying to get in your pants.

 

I'll go with number 2.

 

 

That's incredibly sexist and unfair.

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Aaaaaand all my respect for you flew out the window.

 

I have two reasons for you thinking this way:

 

1. You surround yourself with the shitty side of the male population.

 

2. You think any time a guy tries to help you they're trying to get in your pants.

 

I'll go with number 2.

 

 

That's incredibly sexist and unfair.

 

That was more of a joking statement than closer to how I actually think ;p ~

 

Posted Image Edited by Znex
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Posted Image

 

Well, for one, when someone quotes me I typically don't read the whole topic then respond, and that post was nowhere near a joke so I'm taking her explanation as a weak excuse.

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It's not,

guys don't care about my feelings,

but they'll listen in hopes to getting into my pants.

~

 

I've listened to guys brag about doing as much, as if connecting with someone emotionally is a "chore" to be undertaken.

 

Some guys need to really just get over themselves.

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Heh. I had a girl experience that gave me insight as to why it feels nicer to talk to the person of the opposite gender. Me? I don't feel much difference. But for the girl? She probably was having too much fear about being something she wasn't in front of her female friends. Or maybe she was in a really bad mood because of her current situation. Either way, a girl talking to a guy is different from a girl talking to a girl (same applies to guys). For both guys and girls, it's more comforting because the person of the opposite gender tends to understand them more.

 

Suppose the girl wasn't getting any support from her female peers. If she had any guy she could befriend, she might go for it, provided the guy's not a pervert and provided he is someone who's willing to listen. The comfort will be there because she feels understood. Furthermore, she might develop interest in him, so she wants to see the guy's habits, demeanor, and looks before approaching him.

 

Same goes with the guy. My guy buddies bothered me constantly about my lack of manliness and muscle. This girl comes around and wants a normal, friendly chat. It felt really comforting because I felt I was liked for who I was. Making it even better was the fact she was a girl, since as mentioned before, I could garner interest in her and eventually begin a relationship with her (well unfortunately it didn't happen. I made a support thread about that and learned my lesson).

 

Either way, yeah a guy or girl of the same gender as the person in question can still comfort said person. However, having someone of the opposite gender do that. It's something different, especially if you're single. It's because you might want to try him/her out by getting to know them more.

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Personally, I do not feel inclined to speak to girls, but I like doing so when the opportunity arises. Though, my experience with girls has been somewhat of a roller-coaster. Once a upon time I was a best friends with a girl (I really liked her too), but in the end we became estranged. I noticed changes in her personality (or at least, she didn't act the same way around me as she used to) and as a result, I suppose she didn't appreciate my particular brand of personality at the time (I've blossomed over the years). I didn't find her new friends to be stellar, either. Ergo, I go into a bit of a funk whenever I'm in solitude and such a topic manages to pop up in my head.

 

However, I'll go with Locke's belief that most humans are good natured, and they have the capacity to comfort you, regardless of gender, race, or even age.

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I've listened to guys brag about doing as much, as if connecting with someone emotionally is a "chore" to be undertaken.

 

Some guys need to really just get over themselves.

 

This so much. It's not exactly an untrue statement when someone says all guys want is sex. I've lost count to how many men who have either thought I "owed" them for them being my friend, or I "owe" them because they pay attention to me. And then when I refuse them what they want they insult me. You can't ever win!
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I don't think it is.

 

It's not exactly an untrue statement when someone says all guys want is sex.

 

It's not exactly a true statement either.

Edited by Pinkamena Diane Pie
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