How come it's more comforting to talk to the opposite sex?

[Twiliscael 3,958]

Most of the time when i want to have some deep conversation it's about some deep, personal, depressive thought or feeling i have and nobody i kniw would be able to comprehend the full meaning of what i'm saying. And talking about yourbsad mental state is not a way to keep convos going with the opposite gender for me at least. And that's why i bottle my emotions!

[DozzyDash 24]

When im talking to anyone online, i do agree i like to imagine its a women because it just feels like women are more open to things and not that judgemental. Just feels that way...

[Croaks 251]

Aaaaaand all my respect for you flew out the window.

 

 

[Literally Snails 2,307]

silly foals, there are no women on the internet!

[Tyger 213]

I don't know. I'm going to side with Zoop and say I'm indifferent. I don't have many female friends to spill my inner thoughts to, but it also goes with my male friends.

 

Im just curious if its just me or not but when im in like a bad mood or need support or something, it seems having one on one conversation with the opposite sex (Me being male, so the opposite sex being female) Is more comforting. I don't know if its just me, and im fully prepared to except that its just me. But yeah, does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Evilshy 5,089]

This so much. It's not exactly an untrue statement when someone says all guys want is sex. I've lost count to how many men who have either thought I "owed" them for them being my friend, or I "owe" them because they pay attention to me. And then when I refuse them what they want they insult me. You can't ever win!

 

 

You wouldn't happen to live with the cast of Jersey Shore or all the past dudes from the Bachelor or something, would you?

Because I really don't know where you get the idea that any time a guy is nice to you, he thinks you owe him. I can't even imagine thinking that somebody could "owe" me or any other person sex, unless you already paid the prostitute but they're still holding out on you.

[RickRossTheBoss 17]

I'll talk to anyone, as long as they're mature / willing to listen.

[roomforapony 285]

You wouldn't happen to live with the cast of Jersey Shore or all the past dudes from the Bachelor or something, would you?

Because I really don't know where you get the idea that any time a guy is nice to you, he thinks you owe him. I can't even imagine thinking that somebody could "owe" me or any other person sex, unless you already paid the prostitute but they're still holding out on you.

 

That's the lovely thing about sexism, though. It can be anybody that has this mindset, and the person doesn't realize that they have been messed up by society. You would be surprised by even how many nerds are misogynist jerks. I used to think guys who were more nerdy and quiet and stuff would be better, but nobody is safe from it. This is why it really upsets me when people think only guys who are extremely outgoing and are very obnoxious and whatnot can only be offenders with this, and then they blame the woman for not having the "right" friends.

 

I get the "idea" that that's what they want because that's what happens and they say it outright what the goal was! I never said that is EVERY time a guy is nice to me, of course not. But it happens very often with plenty of women. So many dudes don't want to be your friend, and once you reject their advances they just love to insult you or they are manipulative and cry to all their friends and whine about what a bitch you are for not getting them laid (even though they were so nice to you and listened to ALL of your problems!), and everything in between.

 

If you were female you would understand, lol.

Edited April 17, 2012 by roomforapony

[Key Gear 6,662]

Eh, I'm largely in different when it comes to which gender I speak with about things. I have more male friends than female friends, so I usually end up speaking with them about stuff.

 

I'm indifferent when it comes to gender as well, but, actually, almost all of my friends and associates that I talk to about stuff IRL are female. I actually didn't even notice this until now.

 

That's the lovely thing about sexism, though. It can be anybody that has this mindset, and the person doesn't realize that they have been messed up by society. You would be surprised by even how many nerds are misogynist jerks.

 

I would not be surprised. I am been horrified by some of the presentations that I have seen in the technology industry. For some of the people out there, misogynist jerks would actually be a vast understatement.

 

From a certain perspective though, it kind of makes sense that even "nerds" can be jerks. Being a "nerd" is nothing more than a stereotype. Stereotypes are really broad generalizations of a group of individuals. Because of this, they tend to be inaccurate. I do not think that perceiving someone as a "nerd" can really be used to predict someone's subsequent behavior.

 

So many dudes don't want to be your friend, and once you reject their advances they just love to insult you or they are manipulative and cry to all their friends and whine about what a bitch you are for not getting them laid (even though they were so nice to you and listened to ALL of your problems!), and everything in between.

Hmm, I think that your perception may be due to the group of individuals that you are observing.

 

Speaking just for myself, I have never seen this to be a universal or even a common occurrence. As a matter of fact, I have only seen something like this happen once in my entire life. If this kind of thing happens all of the time around you, then, to me, it sort of does sound sort of like something from Jersey Shore. (I don't mean this to be offensive, it is only my observation.)

 

I don't say this to suggest that you don't have the "right" friends. I am only saying that my own personal perception is basically the complete opposite of yours. Everyone that I know tends to be fairly respectful and considerate. Explosive relationship situations are relatively rare within the groups that I interact with.

 

Think about it though. I am not sure that the world could actually function if all male-female interactions went as you say that they do around you. This is particularly true within the professional environment, where women are starting to outnumber men due to there being more women graduating with college degrees.

[roomforapony 285]

Hmm, I think that your perception may be due to the group of individuals that you are observing.

 

Speaking just for myself, I have never seen this to be a universal or even a common occurrence. As a matter of fact, I have only seen something like this happen once in my entire life. If this kind of thing happens all of the time around you, then, to me, it sort of does sound sort of like something from Jersey Shore. (I don't mean this to be offensive, it is only my observation.)

 

I don't say this to suggest that you don't have the "right" friends. I am only saying that my own personal perception is basically the complete opposite of yours. Everyone that I know tends to be fairly respectful and considerate. Explosive relationship situations are relatively rare within the groups that I interact with.

 

Think about it though. I am not sure that the world could actually function if all male-female interactions went as you say that they do around you. This is particularly true within the professional environment, where women are starting to outnumber men due to there being more women graduating with college degrees.

 

I am not surprised you haven't seen it happen because you are male. Sometimes even women say this never happens because they don't even realize it. They just think that's how things are. I used to not recognize sexist behavior and used to partake in it myself when I was younger because I simply didn't know any better and didn't recognize it. I also thought that's just the way things were.

 

Remember I did not say that is how ALL men are and how they treat others, nor has every interaction with those of the male gender always ended up like I described. I understand that, and have many close male friends myself. I would say that the number of female and male friends I have would be split down the middle.

 

As I said earlier, I am not surprised that you don't see this kind of behavior in others and that it is rare to you. Plenty of people don't. That is why I said sexism can be found with any body. Your close family, beloved friends, people you wouldn't expect to be that way, etc. That is why it is such a problem because we are raised to think certain attitudes about women are the norm. You also have to remember that there are different degrees of sexism.

 

As for the last statement you made, yes things have certainly gotten better for women, and plenty of these fields are ones that most people expect women to go into such as teachers, veterinarians, nurses, etc. I also do understand there are plenty of careers where women outnumber men that aren't a "role" for them to fill. However, just because things have gotten better does not mean that sexism is not a big problem. One example would be reproductive rights (I am not trying to start anything with this subject, I am merely using it as an example). I could go all day with examples and how certain attitudes affect people, but I don't really feel like writing for hours, lol. If you would like a good documentary on sexism and how certain attitudes affect women (it focuses on America) I would suggest watching "Miss Representation".

 

I hope you don't think I'm some sort of man-hater or like I'm a judgmental person or anything. I actually don't ever expect every man to treat me like how I have described. Hell, there's been plenty of times where my friends will say I'm extremely naive about someone hitting on me or whatever. I always assume people are just being nice which I'm positive that's all what happens for the most part. I'm not one to make assumptions and I only judge people when they wrong me, and it takes a LOT for me to not like someone.

[ScruffyPony 23]

I have no idea if your sexual identity plays a role, but I'm bi-sexual and find speaking with either sex equally comforting. Well, of course that all depends on the individual I'm speaking with. So, for me, no, speaking with the opposite sex isn't any more or less comforting for me.

 

They all good. <3

[DrOphthalmos 497]

I find it amusing how part of the thread has shifted from "How come it's more comforting to talk to the opposite sex?" to "I believe the opposite sex is listening to me to get into my pants!"

 

Will males use the strategy of listening to females to try to get into their pants? Let's be realistic - men do try this. Too bad that's a lose-lose situation. You make women like Shankveld suspicious and men, it does not really work. Women, at least in my experience, sleep with men that excite them, they do not generally go after their shoulder-to-cry-on.

 

I have both male and female friends - perhaps I like going to different genders for different topics. But, as a friend, I will listen and do the best I can to help when they come to be me in turn - I do not expect any sexual favors for doing so because at that point we are in the "friend zone."

 

The "friend zone" is only frustrating if you wanted something else and somehow wound up friends without your realizing it. However, if your goal was friendship to begin with, the "friend zone" is quite comforting. I love having friends of either sex, hmmm, when I think about it, it isn't even about gender - it is about diversity. It is fun having all sorts of different friends with different perspectives - just think of the mane 6.

 

I have heard of friends becoming lovers, but in general I find it best not to weird your female friends out by wanting to hump them (I am speaking as a heterosexual man here). Besides, female friends are good listeners when you are in a relationship and are confused by something your girl does. I remember going to gal pals and asking them, "why is she behaving like that?" only to have them give me valuable insights into the female mind. If you are single, female friends can also help you find a girlfriend. They make great "wingmen." I do believe you appear more attractive when you are out with your female friends and having a good time than if you are lurking about a place all by yourself.

 

Long story short, make friends and enjoy that you have friends because FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!

[Simcity11100 770]

I don't care who I talk to because everyone lies to me and I know it because they want me to feel worse when they act like they didn't say that and let me down so I don't believe any one, I don't want a girlfriend, and I don't care what the guy's tell me because they don't the truth. I seems like all the girls want boyfriends (or girlfriends if they do like same sex relationship), and then the girls at my school ask for to much things as if they were raised to own everything for a guy and give them nothing but trash, not that all girls are like this, but all of them are like this at my school. So overall, I dislike both sides of the equation.

[Scootaloo Is Best Filly 576]

This is just me by the way. Online: I really don't care who is comforting me. Because when I have problems my friends are there to make me feel better regardless of Gender. But when it comes to off line I don't really have the experience. You see I am a guy and well when I see a girl I really like I get so shy I can't even talk to her. So with girls talking to girls about my problems is a no. I am way to embarrassed and shy and just all around to much of a chicken to actually tell any girl my problems. Because, I am worried if I did I'd scare them off. Amazingly enough, online and offline I am the kinda person who's doing the comforting more then the man who needs comfort.

 

So in lamens terms talking to girls about my problems just makes me feel Uncomfortable as opposed to comforting because I'm to shy to ever really get to know them that well.

[DrOphthalmos 497]

I don't care who I talk to because everyone lies to me and I know it because they want me to feel worse when they act like they didn't say that and let me down so I don't believe any one, I don't want a girlfriend, and I don't care what the guy's tell me because they don't the truth. I seems like all the girls want boyfriends (or girlfriends if they do like same sex relationship), and then the girls at my school ask for to much things as if they were raised to own everything for a guy and give them nothing but trash, not that all girls are like this, but all of them are like this at my school. So overall, I dislike both sides of the equation.

 

This post makes me sad.

 

Hope you meet some decent people soon!

[Simcity11100 770]

This post makes me sad.

 

Hope you meet some decent people soon!

 

One of these days I will...

[Fizz. 1,078]

I get the "idea" that that's what they want because that's what happens and they say it outright what the goal was! I never said that is EVERY time a girl is nice to me, of course not. But it happens very often with plenty of men. So many girls don't want to be your friend, and once you reject their advances they just love to insult you or they are manipulative and cry to all their friends and whine about what a bitch you are for "breaking their heart" (even though they were so nice to you and listened to ALL of your problems!), and everything in between.

 

If you were male you would understand, lol.

 

Fixed for a counter. Your example was true, so is mine.

 

Also, for sexism:

 

You realize it's both ways, right? Especially sexism, you never see equal representation for genders in custody battles, do you?

 

I realize sexism is a LOT more slated towards women, so don't get that statement wrong. But when you boil away the little details, everyone comes out pretty alike.

[Key Gear 6,662]

I am not surprised you haven't seen it happen because you are male. Sometimes even women say this never happens because they don't even realize it. They just think that's how things are. I used to not recognize sexist behavior and used to partake in it myself when I was younger because I simply didn't know any better and didn't recognize it. I also thought that's just the way things were.

 

Remember I did not say that is how ALL men are and how they treat others, nor has every interaction with those of the male gender always ended up like I described. I understand that, and have many close male friends myself. I would say that the number of female and male friends I have would be split down the middle.

 

As I said earlier, I am not surprised that you don't see this kind of behavior in others and that it is rare to you. Plenty of people don't. That is why I said sexism can be found with any body. Your close family, beloved friends, people you wouldn't expect to be that way, etc. That is why it is such a problem because we are raised to think certain attitudes about women are the norm. You also have to remember that there are different degrees of sexism.

 

As for the last statement you made, yes things have certainly gotten better for women, and plenty of these fields are ones that most people expect women to go into such as teachers, veterinarians, nurses, etc. I also do understand there are plenty of careers where women outnumber men that aren't a "role" for them to fill. However, just because things have gotten better does not mean that sexism is not a big problem. One example would be reproductive rights (I am not trying to start anything with this subject, I am merely using it as an example). I could go all day with examples and how certain attitudes affect people, but I don't really feel like writing for hours, lol. If you would like a good documentary on sexism and how certain attitudes affect women (it focuses on America) I would suggest watching "Miss Representation".

 

I hope you don't think I'm some sort of man-hater or like I'm a judgmental person or anything. I actually don't ever expect every man to treat me like how I have described. Hell, there's been plenty of times where my friends will say I'm extremely naive about someone hitting on me or whatever. I always assume people are just being nice which I'm positive that's all what happens for the most part. I'm not one to make assumptions and I only judge people when they wrong me, and it takes a LOT for me to not like someone.

 

Woah, I was not trying to say that sexism doesn't exist or that sexism wasn't important. I was also not saying that I see no sexism around me. When I wrote my original response, all that I was saying was that I do not think that the world would work very well if men were constantly trying to "get laid" every single time they talked to every single woman. I was not trying to make some broad statement about sexism. Reading over my original post now, I can see how you may have received that impression, and I apologize for this misunderstanding.

 

You see, I actually agree with you that sexism is a substantial factor. When I was in academia, I spent a lot of time studying sexism - the wage gap between equally qualified male and female employees, the disparity between male and female job benefits in America, the difficulties facing women attempting to build careers within certain fields. I haven't seen the documentary, but I am familiar with the academic research into sexism. I know that it exists.

 

I definitely did not intend to say that sexism does not exist or is excused because there are more women professionals. My actual point was, as I said earlier, I did not think that every single guy out there spoke to every single girl with the intention to manipulate her into a relationship. My point was that this would lead to total and complete chaos in the workplace, and that kind of licentious behavior is really remarkably unprofessional.

 

Now, do these incidents actually happen? Yes, of course they do. But do they make up 100% of the interactions between genders. No, I do not think so. I appreciate it when you write that you did not say that is how all men are and how they treat others. I agree with this, and I appreciate the clarification.

 

I do not think that you are a man-hater. You actually seem to be a fairly reasonable person that is both educated about and feels strongly about the topic of sexism. The problem was that I was not very clear in my original post, and that this led to you, and perhaps others, misinterpreting what I wrote. My apologies for that.

 

I will say this though. This kind of thing is the reason that I don't usually like to write about heated topics on the Internet. It is far too easy to be misunderstood when text is the only medium of communication and there is a huge delay between when you write something and when it is reacted to.

[Forlong 1,725]

silly foals, there are no women on the internet!

 

Of course there are. I see naked pictures of them all the time.

[roomforapony 285]

Fixed for a counter. Your example was true, so is mine.

 

Also, for sexism:

 

You realize it's both ways, right? Especially sexism, you never see equal representation for genders in custody battles, do you?

 

I realize sexism is a LOT more slated towards women, so don't get that statement wrong. But when you boil away the little details, everyone comes out pretty alike.

 

I can already tell you're going to disagree, but you cannot be sexist against men. You can be prejudice against them, but not sexist. Sexism is prejudice+power. Men are the ones in power, therefore you cannot be sexist against them.

 

http://finallyfemini...ism-definition/

 

Edit: As for the no equal representation in custody battles that is a problem made by men. Even though I would like statistics and proof to back this claim up that more women get custody, that is still sexism against women. Women are seen as weaker and as the caretaker of children which is why they would win custody battles for being women.

Edited April 18, 2012 by roomforapony

[Fizz. 1,078]

I can already tell you're going to disagree, but you cannot be sexist against men. You can be prejudice against them, but not sexist. Sexism is prejudice+power. Men are the ones in power, therefore you cannot be sexist against them.

 

http://finallyfemini...ism-definition/

 

Edit: As for the no equal representation in custody battles that is a problem made by men. Even though I would like statistics and proof to back this claim up that more women get custody, that is still sexism against women. Women are seen as weaker and as the caretaker of children which is why they would win custody battles for being women.

 

>cannot be sexist

>against men

 

I don't even bother with your link because it's a feminist website and very obviously biased.

 

But you can't be racist against whites because they're the ones who have more power. Correct?

[pizzaparty9 19]

Im just curious if its just me or not but when im in like a bad mood or need support or something, it seems having one on one conversation with the opposite sex (Me being male, so the opposite sex being female) Is more comforting. I don't know if its just me, and im fully prepared to except that its just me. But yeah, does anypony else feel this way?

 

 

you are not alone i feel the same way

[roomforapony 285]

>cannot be sexist

>against men

 

I don't even bother with your link because it's a feminist website and very obviously biased.

 

But you can't be racist against whites because they're the ones who have more power. Correct?

 

Actually, yes, that is true, too.

 

I am done with this conversation.

[Tteok 16]

Im just curious if its just me or not but when im in like a bad mood or need support or something, it seems having one on one conversation with the opposite sex (Me being male, so the opposite sex being female) Is more comforting. I don't know if its just me, and im fully prepared to except that its just me. But yeah, does anyone else feel this way?

 

Like talking to your mom or talking to a hot girl?

 

But you can't be racist against whites because they're the ones who have more power. Correct?

 

What?

Just because a group's a majority doesn't mean that anything bad you could possibly say about their race is no longer bad. To say that about such deeply rooted ideas such as sexism, which has prevailed in the majority of human civiilizations for tens of millenia, kinda makes sense. But rascism is too light to compare, it only depends on whose the majority at the moment (mixed in with a sprinkling of international Western European supremacy complexes, as of the past couple of centuries. But that's going to fade as well guaranteed).

Edited April 18, 2012 by Tteok

[Cloud-Kicker 103]

I'd rather avoid the possibility of embarrassment.

When I have a problem I want to talk about, I'll stick with my bro Cleverbot.

Cleverbot always knows exactly what to say.