What would you find most disturbing in a pony grimdark story?

[L1ghtn1ng_Flash 213]

I am going to write a pony grimdark story, but as I'm basically immune to even Cupcakes, I don't realy know what would be Disturbing to the masses. So as you answer this question you are also giving me insight into a grimdarks Structure. Be sure to include as many ( site appropriate (nothing sexual)) things that would disturbe you. Also as a side note, any one that can create/suggest a Grimdark/creepypasta that disturbs me will recive bragging rights from me, and a chance to preread my story when I finish it. Have fun with that. You can suggest the names of Non site appropriate stories so I can look it up myself, just do not put any links to any non site safe stories. Here's a few that I've read that I consider grimdarks:

 

Grimdarks read

Cupcakes 

Rainbow factory

The cough

A puppet to her fame

Cheeralie's garden

Rocket to insanity

The experiments of twilight sparkle

Silent poniville 1-2

Awoken

Pregasas device

Hard reset

Where's the beef? ( only because of unnatural eating habits )

Shattered

Edited December 8, 2015 by L1ghtn1ng Flash

[Mothra 540]

Dunno if It's against the rules to link to something like this, but I'll mention it. The story "The cough" wasn't the best in terms of plot or gore, but I feel like it's about what specific people vision when they read it? Like the images that came to mind when I read it were horrifying, but to somebody else might look completely different and might not affect them at all. I'd recommend it for a quick 5 minute read.

[Snake 515]

Cupcakes isn't too bad, have you read Cheerilee's Garden and the sequel, Scarlet Harvest? Those ones are wonderfully written, I suggest reading it if you haven't! 

And as for things that really get to me in grimdark stories, the more creative, the more one is drug into the story. For example, insects are always freaky when described crawling through eye sockets and through intestines. Lots of people get really wriggly from that. The way the characters are written also really add to the story. The better it's written, the more enjoyable it is to read.

[RyaN_ 292]

Cupcakes wasn't that grimdark because it focuses mainly on gore and brutality. The story is only scary since it involves the characters we thought were harmless and loving, instead giving the reader a darker image regarding the characters. (Ending in self-Trauma) XD

 

The Darkest stories to be about morality (that everything won't last forever) such as Fallout Equestria and Twilight's friends dying or aging. Seriously, those things are really really creepy and disturbing, once you put some thought into it. 

 

"Humans have always feared what they do not understand"

 

Anyways, I'm not sure if this was much help, but I hope it does Happy Writting

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

Lack of editing. Many of the grimdark fics I have read have filled me with dread with the atrocious grammar and spelling.

 

On a serious note, I find that saying the character is afraid kills the mood. There are better writers who can give you more in depth tips in this matter, but basically you want to pull the readers in and make them feel scared, with the characters and characters' reactions establishing the atmosphere. You also want to know your audience. People like me who are not bothered by gore, written or visual, will prefer grimdark with deep psychological tension, but for people who are not psychopaths, an explicit description of a human body flipped inside-out is sure to do the job. Just know what kind of fear you want to evoke so that you can keep the atmosphere consistent and market to the right audience.

[MissSpotLight 27]

The most disturbing grimdark fic I've ever read was either Sweet Apple Massacre or Cheerilee's Garden. I don't know if this helps.

[KiwiPony 125]

The thing is that grimdarks don't often work if they just run off blood and gore because honestly that's so easy to write. With that being said though things like Cupcakes work since it kinda messed with our heads, you never think of Pinkie as a killer but then between cupcakes and smileHD it sorta changes it and that's where the creep factor comes from. But take the Rainbow Factory, its not scary and its not gorey but its brilliant! Because it takes the characters and really tweaks their personality without fully changing them from the show, they act the way they would in the show but its clearly all head cannon.

 

If you want to write a good grimdark then you gotta play with what we expect, take a character everyone thinks is innocent and really make them have a darker side, its the only way to make grimdarks work from FiM I think.

(But please not like butterflies and just make it so ott that they seem innocent but they hide a "dark secret" and wanna kill everypony because that just goes too far and its predictable and blahhhh)

Just don't make it predictable, and I know I'm just sorta saying what you probably know but yeah its all there is.

I nearly hit 1000 characters on this post, go me, doing well. In fact imma try make this hit 1000

[Snow Frostflame 3,567]

What I find most disturbing? The fact someone thought this was a good idea. *ba da tis*

 

Grimdark disturbs me in general so I'm not of much help, but I will try to help the best I can. I would just take examples from other grimdark stories and try using some ideas without ripping the original off. You're bound to get some inspiration reading or watching one or fifty. You should also branch out beyond MLP if those stories dont phase you. Its how my sister and I get inspiration for our stories

[RainbowRawr 32]

Wellll, I think that things that make you think about how scarys it is like IRL is super scary hehe like if you were being chased or like tortured or somethings :33

[Venomous 18,813]

Cupcakes isn't too bad, have you read Cheerilee's Garden and the sequel, Scarlet Harvest? Those ones are wonderfully written, I suggest reading it if you haven't! 

 

And as for things that really get to me in grimdark stories, the more creative, the more one is drug into the story. For example, insects are always freaky when described crawling through eye sockets and through intestines. Lots of people get really wriggly from that. The way the characters are written also really add to the story. The better it's written, the more enjoyable it is to read.

I love Ms. Cheerilee's Garden and Scarlet Harvest!

[SunflowerPrincess 345]

I'm very sensitive, so literally anything could be disturbing to me in some way, which is why I avoid grimdark like plague.

[Megas 27,064]

The fact that they exist.

[PacificGreen 1,163]

I don't read grimdark. So pretty much anything.

 

I honestly think that any pony grimdark will disturb some of the masses, so probably like-minded people (those who read/don't mind grimdark) are your best bet.

Edited December 7, 2015 by PGNatsu

[Snake 515]

I love Ms. Cheerilee's Garden and Scarlet Harvest!

YES. They are so well written, ESPECIALLY Cheerilee! I love her mind-set, it's so wonderful. The sequel was even better, that ending just make me want to scream! I was so angry but IT WAS SO GOOD.

Seriously, to anybody reading this, if you like/can stand gore, please pleassse read it. 

(And on another note, if anybody has any gorefics to recommend to me I will GLADLY read them!)

[Starshine 16,330]

Gore for the sake of gore. I particularly hate it when the story starts all bright, carefree, and loving... then graphic dismemberment out of nowhere. Especially when the author didn't try to at least tag the story accordingly. One of many reasons I don't read anything in fimfiction anymore

[AmberDust 1,116]

Any situation can be frightening if you're writing it from the perspective of someone who's frightened. It doesn't even have to be overly horrific--suspense is your best friend when writing horror.

I personally stay away from that type of thing, since I'm rather easily spooked, but I still appreciate good storytelling.

Continuing, a lot of people here are saying that you should take a character and give them some sort of dark secret. Better yet, start them out as they already are, then slowly, push and push until they're forced to make a decision they don't want to make.

Blind insanity is overused and has lost its charm. Make the character have their own regrets and fears.