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Strict or loose parents?

Script or loose parents?  

57 members have voted

  1. 1. Were your parents strict with you as a child?

    • Yes
      25
    • No
      32


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Were your parents strict with you as a child? Meaning like, would they hit you or punish you for stuff, or just let things slide?

 

Mine were pretty strict, if I didn't listen to them or the teachers just one time, i remember getting my a$$ whooped by my dad(or mom) with a belt like it was a sport. but after my mom passed my dad seemed to just let things slide.

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Nah. Not strict at all. Quite nice actually. Let me set my own limits and believe me it worked.

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My mom is probably the nicest person ever; she would allow anything and do anything for me my brother and sister.

The only problem is, my brother and sister take advantage of her niceness a lot, and hurt her feelings. They tend to boss her around quite a bit. I usually am off to the side doing things on my own, and my mom will be making or doing something for my brother or sister. It is both sad and annoying.

I don't have a dad; or I do, I just don't accept him as a father figure. He is the same as my mom though, accept he was a bit more self centered so he wouldn't do anything for my brother or sister, he likes having things done for him.

I think two parents should find a common ground with being strict and fun, same with a single parent. If they don't, usually fun parents are used as doormats and uptight parents lead their kids to live really unruly lives.

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Yes and no. 

They never hit me etc. but I always got fair punishment when I did something wrong. But I was pretty good kid, so there wasn't much reasons to be punished.

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Punishment where due but usually quite loose. They let me make my own mistakes.

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I'd say the same answer as The Cerberus, fair punishment, but generally a good kid.

They let more things slide now as I get older, which makes sense really.

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A lot of grounding and having my favourite possessions taken away from me, only got hit a few times but that was from me clearly provoking my dad. I was, for the most part, a very well-behaved kid, but there were a lot of times where people from school were incredibly bad influences on me and I would bring home a horrible attitude, but aside from that I'd consider my parents normal.

 

The only thing they have ever been super strict about really is when I'm out late or something as they don't like me coming home really late. Even now at my age, they still spam me with texts and phone calls asking where I am and when I'm coming home.

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On certain things yes, but a bit looser on certain other things. I was never spanked as my parents never really believed in that. I had a fairly religious upbringing and the family was very involved in our church with us attending on Sundays and certain holidays, went to Catechism classes and was heavily involved with charity much of it through the church. I also helped in my fathers restaurant at a young age so things like service, sacrifice, hard work and doing onto others were heavily emphasized as well as basic manners and etiquette were heavily emphasized. My parents were a bit stricter during my younger years but got a bit looser as I got older, part of this due to the fact that while I was a bit of a cocky brat at times was a bit mature for my age in some ways.

 

By my late teens I could do almost anything I wanted so long as I did my basic responsibilities which I did anyway. It was my brother who they had to be a bit harsher with because he stayed up until 2 or 3am playing Warcraft which seriously hampered him in high school but he changed for the better once he went into the military, he went to college after he came back, made the Dean's list and is set to get his Bachelors in journalism once he graduates next semester. So for me building that early foundation and giving me a bit more freedom as I got older worked well but my brother kind of needed his ass kicked a bit more than I did (not literally of course).

Edited by Shanks

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No my parents aren't really strict. As long as I get good grades they leave me alone for the most part.

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I cant really say since i dont know it is strict or loose, but i say they can be alright.

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Strict certainly

 

I'd get hit with a belt for even the most basic of reasons (like walking in front of the tv one too many times while my father was playing a game). At 17 they're just now letting me get a cell phone, it took months of convincing to let them have one of my friends stay over at 15-16, and it took even more for me to get permission to stay at a friend's who lived literally less than 2 minutes away. And anything below a B is a bad grade to them. They didn't monitor me on the internet at all tho, which is kinda funny all things considered, and I was always allowed playing violent video games

 

They do care a lot less tho, so that's really nice

Edited by Wheatley

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Hard to classify yes or no. My mother left us when I was 7 for Florida and I didn't have much interaction with her until my father passed away. My father was strict with some things (big picture stuff like lying, homework, knowing where I was, and even when I was being a bit of an ass), but was easy going with some things like what I was allowed to read, watch, and see. I was protected but not coddled. I was parented but not controlled.

 

So ... Yes and No.

 

 

Also this topic is fun for me since I have kids older than some of you. :P

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My Mom wasn't per se...but my Dad was. I'd get my ass handed to me - no matter what I did... 

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my dad is as strict as he was in the army and my stepmom is kind of a snake... but they have their moments where they're "loose". especially since they're both big gamers

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Neither of my parents are strict at all; I was slapped on maybe two occasions growing up but such a punishment was probably well-deserved on my part. That was before we moved to New Zealand, which has an Anti-Smacking Law in place which prevents much force being used by parents anyway. But largely I like to think I was a good kid anyway; I was much more scared of disappointing my parents or making them unhappy than I was of being punished.

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No, my parents weren't that strict, but then again I was always a rule-follower as a child (at least when my parents were around), I'm sure I would have been punished more if I did more bad things.

 

I think my mom has gotten more strict with me over time though. We're very different and it's difficult for us to understand or even accept each others' point of view. After I lost my father when I was 12 things just got hard between us :1

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My parents are/were loose in terms of 'not doing responsibilities.' They would occasionally make sure that I wasn't getting any grade below C because they wanted me to suCCeed. sorry I'll stop. But the only time I remember them 'controlling' an important part of my life was when I was 'choosing' a high school-- that bothered me a lot. 

 

Also, I read this as 'Strict or loose pants?' at first. 

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(edited)

Both my parents are ex-military, and as you could probably guess, they were very strict. I don't mean strict as in they'd beat me up for every single thing, but they were WAAYYYY too overprotective towards me and my three siblings. And when I asked to push the rules just a bit, that's when they'd jump on me. Lemme make a list...

  • No internet access. At least not for the first 15 years of my life. To me that's hardcore, to most people it's agony. Even to this day, I'm shunned if I mention YouTube. I dunno why.
  • We weren't given the privilege to go to a public school. I was homeschooled for 14 years. To most people it's a dream come true, and while it was kinda nice, any grade lower than 90% was considered unacceptable and resulted in punishment. This also led to things such as depression, social ineptness, and even caused me to fail a year of college since I wasn't used to a classroom environment.
  • We weren't allowed to listen to the kind of music that we wanted to listen to. Any track that was produced after the 60's was considered to be, and I quote, "harmful garbage that turns the teens of today into the terrorists of tomorrow". Thus, I grew up on things like jazz, old country music, jazz, Beatles music, and jazz.
  • Similarly, we weren't allowed to pick which movies to watch unless they were rated G or our parents had seen them before. While this is a good rule if your kids are little, it also led to even more social ineptness as everyone's talking about "the latest movie" that I have no idea what they're talking about.
  • Our language was put on a rein. We'd get our asses handed to us if we said anything to the effect of "dumb", "stupid", "loser", or "shut up". They're not as strict now, but I still am afraid to swear around them. We also had to call them "sir" and "ma'am" like they were our freaking commanding officers or what not.
  • We weren't allowed to go outside of the backyard without their supervision. I kid you not, I was not trusted to cross the street until I was 12. As such, our backyard took a huge beating from four kids playing in it constantly, and in return we took a huge beating from them being upset at messing up the backyard.
  • In order to avoid having to pay a sitter, they "hired" (and never paid, mind you) my oldest sibling to watch us when they left. And while that sounds great in theory, we never got along well, and ended up getting in trouble a lot.
  • I was held back two years from being let into my church's youth group because my parents didn't think I was mature enough. I also was not allowed to partake in any youth events unless they were present. Come on guys, I know it's far from home, but it's a CHURCH CAMP. I don't think there's much to worry about.
  • I was never really given an allowance, my income was based on my grades. Getting a 100% on a 7th grade exam was worth 70 cents, 8th grade was worth 80 cents, 9th grade was worth 90 cents, etc. Whenever I received money for my birthday, they took half of it and used it to pay for my education. The other half was given to my church.
  • Bedtime was strictly 8:00 PM. The only exceptions were when you f*cked up royally during the day, which moved bedtime closer by hourly increments. One f*ck up, 7:00 PM. Two f*ck ups, 6:00 PM. THREE f*ck ups? 5:00 PM and no dinner.
  • At seven years old, I broke one of our windows by accident. I was forced to sell everything I had gotten for my birthday in order to pay for repairs.
  • I swear this is true: I got grounded for four weeks for punching a brick wall to vent out my frustration. After the four weeks, I was even more frustrated, so I went outside, built a short wall out of cinder blocks, and punched it until my skin was peeled away. And after that, I got grounded for four more weeks.
  • At 13 I admitted to my dad that I had a serious crush on this one girl and asked for his advice. After getting my ass handed to me, I was forced to give the girl's dad a call and formally apologize to him.
  • We once had this really cool multiplayer video game that we liked to play. Unfortunately it was only three-player so we had to take turns, but we were totally content because we had a rule: the loser of the last match had to sit out a round. However, once my dad heard it was three-player, he took it from us because he thought it would "start fights". I have never seen nor touched the game since.
  • When people ask for my contact information, I gave them my home address, since paper mail was the only way of contacting someone I had up until I was 16.
  • Some kids parents' pay or otherwise them for doing a good job on their chores. In our house, that's considered heresy.

The biggest repercussion from this tight upbringing was that I was constantly punished for doing the teeniest thing wrong, and was rarely rewarded for doing something right. Therefore, I was raised to focus on negative stuff, which damaged my behavior, mental stability, and dare I say ability to get a job?

 

Fortunately, they've changed a LOT in the past few years. My older sisters' moving off to college and my older brothers' joining the Air Force has opened their eyes to the fact that me and my little sister aren't kids anymore, and that we can make decisions on our own. So things are a lot better now.

 

...Also if I don't get a job by the time I'm 18 my dad said he's gonna kick me out of the house.

Edited by Meson Bolt

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(edited)

Edit: This post has been removed.

Edited by Kadae

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Mine were pretty strict with me. They are pretty strong, influential individuals, and they wanted me to become more like them, something i struggled to do for various of reasons. It made me bitter as a teenager, but nowadays i know they were just caring for me. 

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(edited)

By most standards, my parents are pretty strict. I've only received corporal punishment a handful of times in my life. In retrospect, it was completely warranted. My mom specifically is really fair. For most punishments, she would give a three strikes rule. Two strikes are warnings. If I was stupid enough to reach strike three, I'd get a good scolding, be grounded, and have my favorite possessions taken away. Being the kid I was, it was never the punishment that made me upset; it was disappointing her that hurt. The same was for corporal punishment.

 

My dad, on the other hand, aside for providing, he was never involved in raising us per say. His go to was the belt for everything, but he never was allowed to carry it out, because my mom wouldn't allow it. Instead, he just threatened. When my brother and I were younger and misbehaving, my dad would hang a belt on the top of the door. It was a bluff and we knew it. Our motivation to act right was that we didn't want to get in trouble with mom; so we pseudo respected the belt, lol.

 

Overall, my parents (aka mom, haha) are very fair. My mom's philosophy on training kids is tough love when needed and friend for the rest. My mom is my friend, but I know if I disrespect her, she'll bring the hammer down. :lol: She is overprotective, but as I get older, she gives me a little more room :P

Edited by Jaxsie

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