Strict or loose parents?

[Denim&Venöm 16,462]

My parents are not strict, mostly because they themselves came from strict homes and hated it, and did not want my brother and I to go through the same things. 

[EpicEnergy 22,066]

I'd say my parents weren't too strict but they weren't too lenient either.

[TBD 17,228]

My dad mostly work and didn't do much of the "raising us" part so he's pretty lenient. My mom however, does most of the raising part of the family and hell, she's very very strict, punishment and all. "Mother knows best" is what I'll always say. But it's all out of love and I wouldn't have it in any other way. 

[Bastian 13,319]

My parents don't mess with me, they don't "make" me do things, they propose and give reasons to do certain things but in the end its me who decides. Except on learning English but I'll let it slide. 

And they barely had the need to punish me, I was always a quiet kid.

[ShadOBabe 18,984]

I dislike the yes/no option here. I can’t choose either answer in confidence. When I compare notes with others, my mom was stricter in some ways than the parents of others that I know. But in other ways, she was looser.

It helped that I have never been much of a boundary pusher. I didn’t have to be. Everything I wanted was freely allowed by my mom. I had no desire for any of the things that would have been a hard “no” from her.

No staying out at all hours of the night? No problem.

No drugs/alcohol? No problem.

No boyfriends till I was 16? I’m 29 and have never bothered looking, so obviously not a problem.

Grades below a B weren’t acceptable? I liked learning and WANTED good grades, so when I got mediocre or bad grades, I was usually the most upset out of anyone.

But then I’ll talk to others and they describe their parents as just so... mean spirited. Constantly mocking their interests and teasing them for things. This is something my mother vehemently hates. She never mocked me for my interests and never had an attitude of, “No you don’t want to play with these toys cars, those are boy toys” or anything like that.

So in summary: My Mom was strict with safety and responsibilities, loose on self expression, and I was a very home-body, no trouble kid that never felt restricted because my wants aligned with her boundaries.

[Splashee 28,537]

BOTH!

 

1. I had as strict father as can be. Alcoholized with an iron fist, and a voice that would cut glass.
2. A mother as sweet a strawberries, allowing me to do whatever I wanted.

 

1. A step father that was very nice and never screamed. Was always there. Until he broke up with my mom of course.
2. A step mother that was the embodiment of Alice in Wonderland Queen or Cinderella Step Mom.

 

 

 

And look what I turned out to be?!

[Stone Cold Steve Jobs 22,410]

My dad hinted that I would be kicked out if I dropped out of school. And he didn’t even live with my mom at the time. I didn’t drop out. Heaven help me if I got below a B on a test.

Edited May 27, 2020 by Stone Cold Steve Tuna

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

My mom is very strict, or used to be at least. My dad on the other hand is super loose. 

[Fluttershyfan94 5,737]

Would say strict however not so much in a violent way. More like if I don't do what they want I can sleep out on the streets so pretty much I try to stay on good terms obviously. 

[TotallyNotNyx 15,563]

Depends really. I’ve seen stricter but my parents (well mostly my dad) is one of the strictest parents ever. My mom’s a lot less strict but I wouldn’t say she is completely loose.

[Thuja 3,658]

I wouldn't say she was strict in terms of hitting me or something like that but yeah she did hit me sometimes when I did something but she yelled more at me than hitting.  She was ex-military too, well, she was in the military before she went to medical school but after she graduated from community college, she went into med school full time after she was discharged from the military.

Anyways, She didn't resort to hitting all that often.  What made her strict in my opinion was holding us kids(mostly me) back from actually experiencing life.  Sure, my brother knew more since he was older and she was more lenient with him than she was with me.  Since I'm AFAB, she tried imposing more feminine habits on me and she depended on me to take care of the house when she was gone.  She even forced me to watch my demented grandmother alone to make sure she didn't hurt herself or wander off.  It was stressful for me to have to deal with my grandmother and since I apparently looked kinda like my mom when I was a kid, my grandma treated me like my mom.  My mom was the unwanted child and her siblings and parents made sure she always knew that.  Always got yelled at by her, told how worthless I was, I was a mistake, I shouldn't exist.  My grandpa never helped, he usually stayed in the garage or in their bedroom.  Being forced to deal with this woman still messes with me these days even though she died about 10 years back or around then.

Because my mother was busy with medical school when we were kids and my brother actually got to have a childhood, it was really stressful for me to do stuff like that by myself.  If I told my mom that I didn't want to do it anymore, she'd just guilt me into sucking it up and dealing with my grandmother or cleaning the house or yard work, etc.  When I asked my brother to help, it'd seem like he wasn't doing anything properly to make sure I never asked him for help again.  Sometimes he'd genuinely help but most of the time he sabotaged it.  My mom might not've hit me, for the most part, but the way she wielded guilt, she should've joined the army.

Also my parents divorced when I was young so I don't know how my dad would've acted as a parent.

Edited May 28, 2020 by Thuja
forgot to mention dad

[King of Canterlot 9,588]

My dad was always traveling for work, so he was never around much when I was growing up. Whenever he was around he would usually be a little more laid-back, except he expected me and my brother to do things around the house, like mowing or cleaning, things we never did when he was gone traveling. When we didn't do the things he asked us to do he would get kinda vexed but he was still pretty chill the rest of the time. My mom used to be a bit more controlling when I was younger, she wasn't super strict per say, she just always wanted to know who we were hanging out with, where we were, that sorta stuff but otherwise she wasn't super strict either. 

Now that I'm going to be 20 this year my mom doesn't give a crap what I do anymore, as long as I do well in my college classes what I do she doesn't really care, so she's gotten a lot more relaxed and doesn't really try to control things anymore as me and my brother have gotten older. My parents are divorced so I haven't seen my dad in years so I have no idea what he's like now.  

[Evil Pink One 12,953]

Theres a difference from strict parents and abusive parents..... And most of you are talking about abusive parents..not strict...i prefer strict

It makes the child smart not lazy and dumb. And teaches the kid that the world isn't made of rainbows and bbflies

[Splashee 28,537]

I have seen what loose parents do to the children. But I have also seen what strict parents do to children. The actual balance to become the perfect parent, and still not be able to fully control what your child will turn into, or become, is the reason I am children-less, and probably will be in the future as well.

[Dreambiscuit 8,022]

Mine were generally strict, but mostly for my own good. And they were always fair, so I can't complain. The worst kind of punishment was generally having to drop what I was doing and come sit in the living room where I would e forced to watch Lawrence Welk with my dad, until I cooled down. 

Edited May 31, 2020 by Dreambiscuit

[HeavenSunset 1,866]

My dad is looser than most people and i love him but my stepmom is a delusional matriarch who want everything her way and blackmails my dad into doing it

[Splashee 28,537]

Parents should be a little bit of both. Either strict or loose damages the child, I am sure (looks at myself)

[ExplosionMare 18,007]

Mine are a bit of both. They definitely have their rules but they’ve allowed a lot of freedoms the older I’ve gotten (not like I really go out and do stuff anyways )

[RaraLover 10,410]

My mum is more loose, while my dad is on the strict end. I'm more cautious when I'm with my dad.

[Narcissus 352]

My dad was always disciplined but not strict; meaning he's all about focus and readiness but not little things like observing a strict bedtime or calling by name instead of 'dad.' My mom was never strict because she never cared about anything.