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Randimaxis Answers Questions


Randimaxis

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15 minutes ago, Randimaxis said:

LOOK!  PICKLES!

WHAT WHERE

15 minutes ago, Randimaxis said:

That's... surprisingly a tough question.

I've always thought Cardinals were pretty cool... but I also love the proverbial underdog, which means I also like Dodos and Penguins... and if we're talking about mythologicals, then I'd have to vote for the Phoenix.

Then again, Emus are pretty nifty...

Hummingbirds don't even get an honourable mention?

If nothing else, they're adorably tinysmol and manoeuvre as precisely as a miniature helicopter parent.

15 minutes ago, Randimaxis said:

... twelve.

...

...

... you didn't ask me to name them, mind you... just give you a number.  Soooooooo... twelve.

So you know for a fact that no less than twelve of your relatives have middle names?

 

 

 

 

Which way around do toilet paper rolls go?

What are your thoughts on bow ties?

What is your favourite natural phenomenon?

Edited by Duality
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21 minutes ago, Duality said:

Hummingbirds don't even get an honourable mention?

OH!  My apologies!  You're absolutely right - plus, we live in a neighborhood where we get to see them at least once a week!

 

21 minutes ago, Duality said:

Which way around do toilet paper rolls go?

Around the cardboard tube.  It'd look pretty silly if they went around, oh say... a muffin?  A stalk of celery?  A labradoodle?

If you mean 'from the area provided for holding rolls within the bathroom for utilization', then it goes over the top, down in front.  The only reason I've found for putting it down in back is to keep the cat from unrolling it.

 

21 minutes ago, Duality said:

What are your thoughts on bow ties?

BOW TIES ARE THE SHIZ-NIT.

I had a teacher in high school who wore them each day to class... and he had quite a number of spiffy bowties to show off, like the yellow one with a single brown dot at each end (he called it his 'Nana-tie'), the one made out of colored foil (SHINYshinyshinyshinyshiny), and the one he wore for Halloween that lit up and screamed when he squeezed it.

Years later, when I was just getting into LARPing, I actually used one as part of a costume... it was about as big as the palm of a grown man's hand, and it was blue velvet.  It became iconic for the character (who I ended up playing for several years), and when that character died, I gave that bowtie to his most loyal friend.  As far as I know, she still has it.

 

21 minutes ago, Duality said:

What is your favourite natural phenomenon?

It has to be lightning, hooves down.

I was about five when I saw a lightning bolt slam down onto the pine tree in my yard; I saw the bark LAUNCH itself off the tree, and the whole thing split almost completely in half.  I was awestruck by how POWERFUL it was... 

Since then, I've learned that I also like rainbows, snow and geodes... but there will never be ANYTHING to me that will be as powerful as a lightning bolt.

 

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1 hour ago, Randimaxis said:

OH!  My apologies!  You're absolutely right - plus, we live in a neighborhood where we get to see them at least once a week!

you must pay for your affront

sacrifice twenty mLs of sugar-water to the humbirb legions at once

1 hour ago, Randimaxis said:

I had a teacher in high school who wore them each day to class... and he had quite a number of spiffy bowties to show off, like the yellow one with a single brown dot at each end (he called it his 'Nana-tie'), the one made out of colored foil (SHINYshinyshinyshinyshiny), and the one he wore for Halloween that lit up and screamed when he squeezed it.

Years later, when I was just getting into LARPing, I actually used one as part of a costume... it was about as big as the palm of a grown man's hand, and it was blue velvet.  It became iconic for the character (who I ended up playing for several years), and when that character died, I gave that bowtie to his most loyal friend.  As far as I know, she still has it.

Good job on having not one but two anecdotes to support having such a strong personal affiliation with bow-ties.

Top-tier exposition here.

1 hour ago, Randimaxis said:

It has to be lightning, hooves down.

I was about five when I saw a lightning bolt slam down onto the pine tree in my yard; I saw the bark LAUNCH itself off the tree, and the whole thing split almost completely in half.  I was awestruck by how POWERFUL it was... 

Since then, I've learned that I also like rainbows, snow and geodes... but there will never be ANYTHING to me that will be as powerful as a lightning bolt.

Whoa.

10/10 answer.

You're on a roll.

1 hour ago, Randimaxis said:

It'd look pretty silly if they went around, oh say... a muffin?  A stalk of celery?  A labradoodle?

^ hah geddit on a roll

 

. . . i'll just leave the puns to the professionals shall i

 

 

 

 

How do you view the concept of wearing suspenders?

What is the single greatest quantity of dirt you have ever carried at any one time?

Which is the more sanity-destroying game, chess or Mah-Jong?

What is your favourite pastime?

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1 hour ago, Duality said:

How do you view the concept of wearing suspenders?

The concept of wearing suspenders was originally of two reasons:to circumvent the idea of paying a tailor to have one's pants taken in... and to hold those said same pants up.

However, as they do have a rather nifty look, they have been adopted by fashion - which was done due to a particular pair sported by an alien named Mork - and are now more commonplace today.  Worn by jazz enthusiasts, Big Business tycoons and anyone who's lost a considerable amount of weight.

Of course, if Adam and Eve hadn't bitten that apple, then we wouldn't have to worry about 'em in the first place.

Mostly because, y'know... we wouldn't exist.

 

2 hours ago, Duality said:

What is the single greatest quantity of dirt you have ever carried at any one time?

There was a point when I was about fifteen, when a friend and I were feeling... mischievous.

The two of us had discovered a construction site that was fairly well abandoned, and it happened to be next to a local highway.  As it were, we'd been all over the site for the past few hours, and my friend decided we needed some mischief in our lives... so we should throw rocks at the cars that came down the highway, from the safety of the upper floor of the unfinished construction.

Myself, being of only slightly sounder mind, said that rocks would be too dangerous... but, on the other side of the construction site, there was a large dirt hill, filled with what I called 'dirt rocks', which were only thumb-sized clumps of dried mud that broke apart into dry dirt when you threw 'em at the ground, making small dirt clouds.  I suggested we use dirt rocks instead of REAL rocks, as the genuine article would do damage.

He grumbled, but complied.

We grabbed what must have been close to two hundred little dirt rocks and brought them up the kinda-half-finished stairs and proceeded to toss them (underhanded) at passing vehicles.  It was funny to see cars swerve when a rock just explodes into powder on their windscreen... until one car stopped with a short squeal of tires.

My friend and I had never run so fast in all our lives.  Starting the very next day, there were security guards there from that day forward.

So... I'd say about two beach buckets worth of dirt, clumped as rocks, in the pocket made by holding them within my shirt front by making a pouch. 

 

2 hours ago, Duality said:

Which is the more sanity-destroying game, chess or Mah-Jong?

Chess.

I say this because my wife's parents were BOTH chess champion-level players... and she's no different.  We used to play...

Notice the tense of the above sentence.

I don't mind her playing it herself... but I would rather not indulge in playing against her, as I'm about as savvy a chess player as a chicken with one eye, one leg and a head cold... though I DID take her father's queen once, simply because I play in no set pattern.

So there.

 

2 hours ago, Duality said:

What is your favourite pastime?

Music.

The world has many, many things to offer any given individual.  Tons of ways to enjoy oneself & the world around you.  There could be a never-ending supply of stuff to occupy yourself with, if you have the time and resources.

However... to me, there is nothing as sweet to the soul as listening to the music of humanity.

I enjoy a bit of everything - which a lot of folks SAY... but actually rarely MEAN.  I also am one of those folks who honestly thinks that EVERY LAST SONG should tell a story; even music without lyrics tells a tale, and I am an absolute sucker for good stories!  No matter the genre, from opera to dubstep, music can soothe the savage heart, bring multitudes to tears, and lift a spirit into the heights of elation.

Better than any drug.  More available than any medicine.  More plentiful than human beings usually realize.

Music is the sound our souls would make, if they could sing.

...

...

... sorry, I reeeeeeally like music!

 

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On 4/17/2018 at 8:14 PM, Randimaxis said:

Well, I always attempt to be as kind as possible, mostly due to the fact that I've done a number of dumb things myself; I empathize with folks, so I'm usually not one to yell at anyone.  I try to find the most peaceable means to end arguments, and I do my best to maintain a helpful and courteous demeanor with everyone I interact with - in OR out of the forums here.

When I truly get angry, though... 

There are few things that will really send me over the edge, but I have had an instance or two where I have, to utilize modern vernacular, "shown my ass" and proven WHY the comment of being 'mostly harmless' has the word 'MOSTLY' in it.  I don't like being angry, because it always tends to cost me something in the long run... but I am, after all, only human - I am flawed, just like everyone else.

For the most part, I tend to be a nice guy.  Trust me - you don't want to know what the other side is like.

Sign of a narcissist. ;)

Just kidding. I believe we all have limits to our patience and tolerance. The only way you can really respect yourself is if you believe you have the power to harm. Whether you have it in check or not is another matter, but if you can harm then you can be considered dangerous. If you can be considered dangerous then you may perhaps be willing to treat yourself with a little respect and demand that others do as well. If a person is harmless, they would have a hard time defending themselves- verbally, physically, ideologically, whatever. 

 

What do you think of that?

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14 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

Of course, if Adam and Eve hadn't bitten that apple, then we wouldn't have to worry about 'em in the first place.

Mostly because, y'know... we wouldn't exist.

OBJECTION

we might have existed

just better

14 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

Starting the very next day, there were security guards there from that day forward.

And how do you feel about having forced an innocent accountant to add in another column to their fees-payable worksheet?

14 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

Music.

The world has many, many things to offer any given individual.  Tons of ways to enjoy oneself & the world around you.  There could be a never-ending supply of stuff to occupy yourself with, if you have the time and resources.

However... to me, there is nothing as sweet to the soul as listening to the music of humanity.

I enjoy a bit of everything - which a lot of folks SAY... but actually rarely MEAN.  I also am one of those folks who honestly thinks that EVERY LAST SONG should tell a story; even music without lyrics tells a tale, and I am an absolute sucker for good stories!  No matter the genre, from opera to dubstep, music can soothe the savage heart, bring multitudes to tears, and lift a spirit into the heights of elation.

Better than any drug.  More available than any medicine.  More plentiful than human beings usually realize.

Music is the sound our souls would make, if they could sing.

...

...

... sorry, I reeeeeeally like music!

The theory of wave-particle duality (eponymous) states that matter and force isn't merely made up of particles, but is also made up of waves at the same time.

Since music is generated, conveyed, and arguably wholly characterised by macroscopic waves and patterns thereof, many people interpret the theory to mean that the entire universe is, in a sense, music, or even that music is, in a sense, the entire universe.

What are your thoughts on this concept?

 

 

 

 

What item of clothing, that you consider weird, do you see people wearing most often?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What is your favourite hat/head ornament (whether worn by you or by other people)?

How much silver is there in your house/building of residence?

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On 4/19/2018 at 3:40 PM, Sunset Rose said:

The only way you can really respect yourself is if you believe you have the power to harm.

I disagree.

Respecting yourself is realizing you have power at all.  Knowing you have the ability to accomplish things both grand and terrible simply means you can interact with the world around you, which can easily be accomplished through accepting what our senses tell us.  Respect isn't thinking 'with great power, yada yada yada'... respect is being awed and humbled simply by the fact you exist - that EVERYONE exists.

Respect isn't fear - and what you describe there comes off (to me) as self-respect through self-fear... and that never works out well.

Fear of bringing undue harm upon another, hence the want to respect what you're capable of?  That, to me, is a recipe for Ego Trip Cake.  It would be far too easy for that mindset to devolve into, say, one more like a dictator who thinks they're benevolent... yet they really rule by stalking the streets, flexing and looking intimidating.  'Don't approach me, because I could hurt you badly.'

It's an anime trope to think that holding oneself in check is some sort of noble intention.  But the truth of the matter is that, instead of thinking of oneself as a potential threat to everyone else, it's more a measure of self-respect to try to picture one as moving through a world FULL of potentially harmful individuals, and seeing yourself among them rather than what kinda feels like putting oneself above others in that way.

Train the mind to see EVERYONE as having the power to harm - and accept that you belong among them.

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

And how do you feel about having forced an innocent accountant to add in another column to their fees-payable worksheet?

*laughter*  Accountants aren't innocent; you can't fool me.

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

The theory of wave-particle duality (eponymous) states that matter and force isn't merely made up of particles, but is also made up of waves at the same time.

Since music is generated, conveyed, and arguably wholly characterised by macroscopic waves and patterns thereof, many people interpret the theory to mean that the entire universe is, in a sense, music, or even that music is, in a sense, the entire universe.

What are your thoughts on this concept?

Music?  Might be romanticizing it a tad, there... but waves?

I can see that.

A wave, in and of itself, constitutes motion, which indicates energy (kinetic, I think).  Energy, in whatever form, is what fills the universe... and, as motion cannot exist without the energy to at least initiate it, and waves denote that there is motion/momentum from SOMEwhere, technically I feel it would be more accurate to say that waves demonstrate the power present in the universe.

Or, the ocean isn't made up of JUST water - but water is obviously a part of the ocean, as a wet shirt demonstrates.  The waves represent the energy available, capable to be had, in this universe.  Music might be wonderful, but they're just what our minds interpret as sound - the waves sound makes, however, go beyond what we interpret, to be used by the world around them (echoes, Doppler and such).

I... apologize if I lost anyone... and, if what I said above makes no sense, then maybe I'M the one who's lost?

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

What item of clothing, that you consider weird, do you see people wearing most often?

Face masks - like surgical masks, but not disposable.

It's one thing to want to prevent the spead of disease... but to me, it's totally another when you wear the things as a fashion statement.  I mean, not that they don't look nifty sometimes, granted... but it's weird how much of a fad it IS.

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the road had crossed it first; turnabout is fair play, motherclucker.

... lying, backstabbing BASTARD of a road...

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

What is your favourite hat/head ornament (whether worn by you or by other people)?

A derby!

Not a trilby, or a fedora (though both are cool, to be sure)... a trim little derby hat has always been one of my favorite things to put on my naturally-occurring personal hat rack.

 

On 4/19/2018 at 9:34 PM, Duality said:

How much silver is there in your house/building of residence?

Enough to fill a shotglass, if smelted down to liquid form.

...

...

... WHAAAAAAT!?  Don't stare at me in that tone of voice!  It's an educated guess, alright?

 

7 hours ago, Pr0m4NV14 said:

Is your rolling eye Gif profile picture just a stock thing?

Eeyup.

My first day on the forums, I asked around about finding a moving picture-thingy for my avi, and they directed me to an archive of little gifs.

The eye spoke to me instantly, and it's been mine ever since (holidays notwithstanding).

 

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12 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

*laughter*  Accountants aren't innocent; you can't fool me.

*discreetly slips industrial-grade pocket calculator out of sight*

12 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

I... apologize if I lost anyone... and, if what I said above makes no sense, then maybe I'M the one who's lost?

... I'm not sure which is the case. :lie:

I'm just a tragically-sans-romanticism physicist; all I know is that everything tangible is made up of waves, matter, force, and energy included.

There's gotta be something of poetic value in there, though, that much I'm sure of.

12 hours ago, Randimaxis said:

Enough to fill a shotglass, if smelted down to liquid form.

...

...

... WHAAAAAAT!?  Don't stare at me in that tone of voice!  It's an educated guess, alright?

This stare isn't me judging you, it's me silently pleading for a taste. :mustache:

 

 

 

 

Who're your fav pony artists?

What is your favourite physical unit of currency (whether a coin or a note)?

Papaya blossoms?

How much do you like scarves?

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  • 7 months later...
On 4/22/2018 at 7:53 PM, Duality said:

Who're your fav pony artists?

NCMares... and our own Pucksterv.

 

On 4/22/2018 at 7:53 PM, Duality said:

What is your favourite physical unit of currency (whether a coin or a note)?

I once had an entire roll of Silver Quarters - and yes, they make a GRAND sound when they jingle.

 

On 4/22/2018 at 7:53 PM, Duality said:

Papaya blossoms?

Uhm... papayas are pretty cool, so... yes?

 

On 4/22/2018 at 7:53 PM, Duality said:

How much do you like scarves?

Scarves... *chuckle* my favorite scarf is the one worn by the Fourth Doctor, a.k.a. Tom Baker.  Aside from that, I sadly don't own any scarves... but they are nifty-cool.

 

Sorry it took so long to reply - let's just say I've gotten enough time on my hands recently to make good on answers. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Cleaning her Glasses.gif Randimaxis, time no see... it's true that i said that i would leave this page after all they did to me, but i can't just leave, i have my friends here... anyways gotta question for you

 

How you been these past days?

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2 hours ago, Balareth said:

Randimaxis, time no see...

Well, as I don't typically utilize my Chromebook's camera, that is valid.

2 hours ago, Balareth said:

it's true that i said that i would leave this page after all they did to me, but i can't just leave, i have my friends here...

I hope I count among those friends... and if you're EVER having trouble, don't hesitate to PM me; I'm happy to help in any way I can.

2 hours ago, Balareth said:

How you been these past days?

...

...

... the short answer is, I'm making some major changes to my life - not exactly by choice.

As for the past few days?  Well, I have started my new job as a humble gas station attendant at a small store here in Georgia; the manager is a pretty decent fella, and the job mostly does itself.  The pay is about low-average, but it's more than the nothing I was getting before.  Also, I've been spending a lot of my time revisiting a few shows I enjoyed a number of years ago, and realizing how much I enjoyed them.

Otherwise, I am... moving forward, let's say.  

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That is ... pretty interesting actually so let me ask you, do you have some regrets in your life? Like something from the past that could help you now?

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17 hours ago, Balareth said:

Do you have some regrets in your life? Like something from the past that could help you now?

... I actually would ask if it would be possible to answer a different question; it might not be a good idea for me answer this right now.

I'd gladly answer ANY other question, I promise - that question is... a bit painful to answer at the moment.

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33 minutes ago, Balareth said:

do you know what is the effect Pigmalion and how it would be related to the brony fandom?

I actually had to look that up... and it's intriguing.

What I can see is the influence of the show vs. the influence of the community:

The show puts forth many ideas of what constitutes as a 'virtue' in the Elements of Harmony, and it would seem as such that, with the idea in place that the characters are supposed to be 'good', then the outcome tends more towards a heroic ending, so to speak.  This goes hoof-in-claw/paw with Discord's reformation; ever notice that the episodes where he's maligned by the others tend to be the same ones he acts up in more (say, for instance, Three's A Crowd)?  By that standard, episodes where he's not poked-fun at tend to show him growing and becoming more sociable (like Discordant Harmony).  By that idea, I'd say that there's a number of times this Pygmalion Effect has proven itself - even the CMC themselves show proof that expecting good things brings good things.

As for the community, I see more of a social influence than any sort of actual self-fulfilling thought/actions... but there are exceptions, of course.  From my own experience, there were many times I felt I wasn't up-to-par to be able to do some of the stuff I do here... yet, when I heard so many folks talk about how they saw me & how they 'just knew' I'd do a good job?  I felt like I HAD to do well, to keep from letting anyone down.  In that way, I suppose their influence DID cause what I saw as impossible to become possible.

Those who can put forth in their own minds what's expected of them are powerful people... but when whole groups of people do it?  THAT is how nations get started; take that as you will.

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  • 2 months later...
On 11/27/2018 at 3:36 PM, Randimaxis said:

I once had an entire roll of Silver Quarters - and yes, they make a GRAND sound when they jingle.

I concur. Nobody should have to live without at least one memory of an impractical number of coins jingling together.

On 11/27/2018 at 3:36 PM, Randimaxis said:

Uhm... papayas are pretty cool, so... yes?

Satisfactory response. You may live.

On 11/27/2018 at 3:36 PM, Randimaxis said:

Sorry it took so long to reply - let's just say I've gotten enough time on my hands recently to make good on answers. 

As of now it is quite mutual. Jobhunting leaves one with significantly more loose time than the final weeks of a qualification do. :mlp_lie:

 

 

 

Which country do you think has the best currency/coins/bills/etc., other  than your own?

How nice is your handwriting?

I know you've been going through some tough times in the past half-year or so; would you be okay with me putting you on my prayer list?

Explosions or laser beams?

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  • 3 months later...
On 2/16/2019 at 4:23 AM, Duality said:

Which country do you think has the best currency/coins/bills/etc., other  than your own?

Whatever place makes those cool-looking coins with the holes in the center - those are nifty!

On 2/16/2019 at 4:23 AM, Duality said:

How nice is your handwriting?

I tend to believe I write quite legibly - and I even know how to write in cursive, something that younger generations no longer have as a requirement in school. 

Which means, of course, that once I reach senior citizen age, I'll be able to write in cursive, and nobody will be able to understand it except others of my age bracket.

On 2/16/2019 at 4:23 AM, Duality said:

I know you've been going through some tough times in the past half-year or so; would you be okay with me putting you on my prayer list?

*smiles broadly* I would find it extremely comforting if you did.  Thank you kindly.

On 2/16/2019 at 4:23 AM, Duality said:

Explosions or laser beams?

DUH, BOTH!!!!!  Especially lasers that cause explosions!

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On 6/13/2019 at 7:53 PM, Randimaxis said:

Whatever place makes those cool-looking coins with the holes in the center - those are nifty!

Ooh, I love those coins. Apparently some Asiatic countries invented them so that they could hold their coins on a string instead of in a bag, which is clearly the superior option. Western civilisation has developed the wrong direction. :yuck:

On 6/13/2019 at 7:53 PM, Randimaxis said:

I tend to believe I write quite legibly - and I even know how to write in cursive, something that younger generations no longer have as a requirement in school. 

Which means, of course, that once I reach senior citizen age, I'll be able to write in cursive, and nobody will be able to understand it except others of my age bracket.

I hold your bluff. My teenage brother uses cursive for all his handwriting simply because he became mildly obsessed with it for a while a few years back; and not only that, but I myself am currently in a geotechnical job that involves a lot of data processing, so I can comprehend half a dozen variants of cursive shorthand which are more often than not scribbled on a too-small sheet of mud-soaked paper in the pouring rain by people selected for their digging ability far more than their calligraphy. I fancy that after a few more months of this I'll be able to decipher ancient Sumerian at a glance.

On 6/13/2019 at 7:53 PM, Randimaxis said:

*smiles broadly* I would find it extremely comforting if you did.  Thank you kindly.

You're more than welcome. As a matter of fact, you've effectively been on there for the past six months already in absentia, so you can retroactively apply that comfort if you so desire. :grin:

On 6/13/2019 at 7:53 PM, Randimaxis said:

DUH, BOTH!!!!!  Especially lasers that cause explosions!

Objection! If laser beams cause explosions but not the other way around, is it not the case that laser beams are not only superior but ontologically prior?

 

 

 

What's the biggest number you know of?

What are your numerical ratings of the Mane 6 in order of the number of hugs you would give each of them in an average half-hour if you had the opportunity?

Who would have the highest previously-defined rating out of everyone you know, and what rating would you give them?

Which inanimate object would have the highest previously-defined rating out of every object within your power to hug, and why?

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On 6/15/2019 at 12:55 AM, Duality said:

What's the biggest number you know of?

One that I can't put into cyphering form, because five tons of Flax.  (Discordianism: The answer is five, everytime.)

On 6/15/2019 at 12:55 AM, Duality said:

What are your numerical ratings of the Mane 6 in order of the number of hugs you would give each of them in an average half-hour if you had the opportunity?

All equal to lots... except Fluttershy, who gets lots + 5.

On 6/15/2019 at 12:55 AM, Duality said:

Who would have the highest previously-defined rating out of everyone you know, and what rating would you give them?

I'd have to say my gaggle of friends, circa my 20s - 30s.  They ALL get Best Pony awards.

...

...

... except for Scott; he's a dick.

On 6/15/2019 at 12:55 AM, Duality said:

Which inanimate object would have the highest previously-defined rating out of every object within your power to hug, and why?

My pillow.

I had a LOOOOOOT of insecurities, growing up.  Coming from a family who wasn't afraid to hug, it was really rough feeling like physical contact with others was not only inappropriate, but offensive to them.  As was such, I tended to be physically-touch-starved - but a pillow never says they don't want to be touched.

I developed hugging a pillow as a means to combat that yearning for human contact.  Now, I have even less physical contact... but the pillow still works for me.  Things overwhelm me?  Hell, I go lie down and simply snuggle into my pillow.

Sleep happens occasionally, but more often than not, I just curl up there until I feel better... or at least, manageable.

On 6/21/2019 at 12:42 PM, Vulcan said:

Got any good Tabletop RPG stories? 

*stares*  I don't know if folks REALLY want a wall o' text, because I LITERALLY have hundreds.  But, if I have to pick ONE, then it will be this one...

My pals and I were sitting around, chatting about D&D and basically trying to work up the gumption to start a new game.  The talk had turned to Drow (dark elves, for those who don't know), and everyone (Josh, Karen, Lisa, Charles, Chris & Scott... {yes, the Scott mentioned above}) had a interest in playing them.  However, there was some debate over what gender we could play.

See, Drow have a highly matriarchal society, and males tend to be little better than slaves or workers.  As such, we didn't want EVERYONE to play females, as it would throw off the game's balance - there had to be a mix, or things would get ugly with everyone trying to outrank each other.

So, Josh (who had volunteered to run the thing) made the call: everyone could ONLY play their own gender. 

I have a fairly balanced mix of male AND female charries, and restricting me from something was usually the most sure-fire way of bringing it into the full gaze of my attention span.  So, naturally, I asked if there was ANY way he would make an exception.  Josh replied, and I quote him:

"The ONLY way I'd even consider it is if you dressed the part."

Challenge accepted.  :sneer:

My wife and I went to thrift stores, costume shops and Party City to piece together my Drow outfit.  Now, as I'm someone who likes to make sure they play a part WELL, I wanted to be sure it would be something my friends wouldn't soon forget, as well as something Josh would regret.  There fore, we hunted to find the PERFECT outfit.

What we found was a BEAUTIFUL black, lacy dress that was covered in lace spiderwebs.  FUN FACT: Many Drow worship Lolth, the Spider Queen, so this was a fortunate and timely find.  Next, we found a glow-in-the-dark white wig of long hair; it took some taming, but we got it looking sharp.  After that, I wanted something to make me look more feminine, but we had a hell of a time finding anything that would help...

Thank God for Party City.

In one of the rear shelves was a "Biker Babe Torso"; it was a fake plastic chest that had a bulging pair of boobs, as well as what resembled a leather corset around it (all one piece, had to wear it like an apron).  We brought that home and painted it black wherever skin showed.  To top it off, I had found a set of Halloween Glow-In-The-Dark press-on nails with spiderwebs emblazoned on them.

The day came.  My wife and I spent an hour getting me ready, making sure I looked good, and psyching myself up for this - even if it WAS gonna be fun, I still had anxieties about how well it would be received among my pals (and Scott).  Dressed, ready, and one phone call to tell me everyone was already there, waiting for me to show up.

We gamed a lot at Karen's house.  Mostly because she had the entire basement to herself, and there was plenty of room down there.  Extra bonus for me, as it was right next door.  There was also a curtain that separated the stairwell from the rest of the room; it was mostly here to keep... uhhhhh, 'certain smells'... from reaching Karen's parents above us (They probably already knew, but didn't really care).  So I simply walked over with Lisa; when we reached that curtain, I paused.

Lisa simply went in and gestured to the curtain, making sure EVERYONE was watching...

My absolute, most-favoritest movie in the whole, wide universe is Who Framed Roger Rabbit; inspired, I knew I had to put on a show.

I stuck a single, shaved-and-black-stockinged leg through the curtain and crooned:  "Ya haaaaad plenty mooooney, nineteen... twenty-twooooo..."

When I shoved that curtain back, I fixed Josh with my best 'come hither' stare as I proceeded to sing the ENTIRETY of "Why Don't You Do Right?" as I vamped and strutted back and forth in front of them, putting on the best 'sexy Drow' I could.  The results were far better than I imagined...

Josh turned BRIGHT RED, and couldn't look me in the eyes - regardless of how many times I moved and shifted to get eye contact - he ALWAYS looked away, laughing nervously.

Karen just laughed her ass off; she knew what kind of crazy I was, and loved how it made the guys squirm.

Chris was the one who squirmed the most, as he's shown a tendency to be somewhat homophobic; the speed at which he moved his hand when I reached out and touched it was something close to MLB pitching speeds, I'm certain.

Charles laughed and stared; he had no clue about it, but he automatically assumed (correctly) it was because I'd been told I couldn't do something.

And Scott gave me a look that was both "you're a fucking lunatic" and "damn, but you fill out that dress well"; to this day, I still think he was in shock with the realization that I made a damned decent woman.

I then proceeded to spend the rest of that session playing in my full outfit - and yes, I was allowed to play a female.  

Apparently, I was TOO good at it... because we never played that particular D&D game again.  Still, I will cherish the looks on their faces for the rest of my existence.

 

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