Letting go, how do you cope?

[Oblivion 20,265]

So, I was sitting here wondering, how do you guys let go of something, someone that you can never have? Usually I...just don't, or rather can't, I just feel as if I love too much or rather too stupidly and usually drown for a quite a while. I'm not really looking for advice however I'm just curious.

[Venomous 18,813]

I am a firm believer in that time heals and I let my feelings ride out. During this time, however, I do seek out support from others if needed.

[Meson Bolt 2,647]

I'm known to give horrible advice, and this probably will sound heartless, but it works for me.

 

Life is a journey, and it's best to travel light. Unless you're willing to keep to a commitment (say, marriage), don't get attached to anyone or anything. No matter how important it seems at the moment, you can't take it with you.

[Oblivion 20,265]

I believe that time heals and I let my feelings ride out.

During this time, however, I do seek out support from others if needed.

Mmhmm, though the problem with me is that I tend to hold on forever, to the point where it effects my other relationships with my friends. I just, when I do love someone I cling to them so tight its stupid. XD

I'm known to give horrible advice, and this probably will sound heartless, but it works for me.

 

Life is a journey, and it's best to travel light. Unless you're willing to keep to a commitment (say, marriage), don't get attached to anyone or anything. No matter how important it seems at the moment, you can't take it with you.

if that works for yo that's awesome, I just don't have it in me not to grow attached to people....

[simba86 1,541]

I'm known to give horrible advice, and this probably will sound heartless, but it works for me.

 

Life is a journey, and it's best to travel light. Unless you're willing to keep to a commitment (say, marriage), don't get attached to anyone or anything. No matter how important it seems at the moment, you can't take it with you.

that's pretty close to what my advice would be, i have had so many friends and extended family members turn there backs on me "due to people making up lies and spreading them"  I have learned to not grow attached and just go at it by myself and draw my support from myself and not require any emotional support from anyone. just become totally self sustaining and self contained

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 40,276]

I simply focus on my enjoyments, the things I like. The simple yet wonderful things in life. Just having a nice snack while watching a video I like, even that can do wonders for me if I am feeling really depressed about something. Granted I still have trouble with letting some things go, my mind is rather obsessive at times. Focusing on the positives, no matter how small they may seem, that is my best advice.

[Dark Horse 12,799]

Sooner or later, you'll have to learn about letting go of the things you hold closest to you. It's an inevitable fact of life. Early last year I lost my Granddad to old age. It was the first major death I've had to deal with in my immediate family for a long long time, and it was not an easy experience. My Granddad was one of the closest people to me in my life, and I grieved for quite a few days. Eventually, however, I learned to simply accept that it was his time. I could've gone on mourning him much longer, but the fact of the matter was that he was no longer with us on this mortal plane, and no amount of grieving would bring him back, no matter how much I wanted it.

 

So instead, I set my eyes back towards the future and got on with my life, with how I've always wanted to proceed, because that's what he would have wanted for me. He was always so full of hope for my future, with what I would go on to do in life, and I can think of no better way of remembering him than by just getting on with it. I know that he would be happy to see me happy, and that's just what I try to do. There is no benefit to living in the past.

 

So yes, as some other responses have mentioned here, I believe the best way of coping is to just give yourself a bit of time, then proceed as normal. Don't derail your own life by clinging to something which can no longer be with you. Physically they may no longer be tangible, but they remain with you in other ways; through mind and spirit. Their memory lives on through you, and you can use that memory to help shape your future in new ways, through the experiences you had with them. You move on, harder and tougher for it all.

 

"Finding it, though, that's not the hard part. It's letting go."

[Oblivion 20,265]

 

Sooner or later, you'll have to learn about letting go of the things you hold closest to you. It's an inevitable fact of life. Early last year I lost my Granddad to old age. It was the first major death I've had to deal with in my immediate family for a long long time, and it was not an easy experience. My Granddad was one of the closest people to me in my life, and I grieved for quite a few days. Eventually, however, I learned to simply accept that it was his time. I could've gone on mourning him much longer, but the fact of the matter was that he was no longer with us on this mortal plane, and no amount of grieving would bring him back, no matter how much I wanted it.

 

So instead, I set my eyes back towards the future and got on with my life, with how I've always wanted to proceed, because that's what he would have wanted for me. He was always so full of hope for my future, with what I would go on to do in life, and I can think of no better way of remembering him than by just getting on with it. I know that he would be happy to see me happy, and that's just what I try to do. There is no benefit to living in the past.

 

So yes, as some other responses have mentioned here, I believe the best way of coping is to just give yourself a bit of time, then proceed as normal. Don't derail your own life by clinging to something which can no longer be with you. Physically they may no longer be tangible, but they remain with you in other ways; through mind and spirit. Their memory lives on through you, and you can use that memory to help shape your future in new ways, through the experiences you had with them. You move on, harder and tougher for it all.

 

"Finding it, though, that's not the hard part. It's letting go."

 

Wow....*Hugs tight* I truly am sorry to hear about your grandfather, and I really am glad you're doing okay now....I'm actually gonna be going through the very same thing here sooner or later with both my grandparents, they are getting older and just recently my grandpa had a mild stroke which effected his left side. And though it's true he is recovering from such an ordeal it doesn't change the fact that he's getting way up their in age anyway same goes for my grandmother as well which of course once you reach a certain age threshold pretty much anything can happen at anytime and unexpectedly as well. To be honest I have not a clue what I'm going to do when something does happen, I truly do believe it'll push to the edge of what my mind can handle and it'll take a lot of will power for me to keep it together....In fact, it just seems I am the sort of person born without any copping mechanisms in place, I just sort of drown.

I simply focus on my enjoyments, the things I like. The simple yet wonderful things in life. Just having a nice snack while watching a video I like, even that can do wonders for me if I am feeling really depressed about something. Granted I still have trouble with letting some things go, my mind is rather obsessive at times. Focusing on the positives, no matter how small they may seem, that is my best advice.

Obsessive is an understatement for me! 

 

But I like to do the same thing just to take my mind off of things, though sometimes it doesn't always work, sometimes it comes storming right back into my mind even at the weirdest moments...

[Dark Horse 12,799]

Wow....*Hugs tight* I truly am sorry to hear about your grandfather, and I really am glad you're doing okay now....I'm actually gonna be going through the very same thing here sooner or later with both my grandparents, they are getting older and just recently my grandpa had a mild stroke which effected his left side. And though it's true he is recovering from such an ordeal it doesn't change the fact that he's getting way up their in age anyway same goes for my grandmother as well which of course once you reach a certain age threshold pretty much anything can happen at anytime and unexpectedly as well. To be honest I have not a clue what I'm going to do when something does happen, I truly do believe it'll push to the edge of what my mind can handle and it'll take a lot of will power for me to keep it together....In fact, it just seems I am the sort of person born without any copping mechanisms in place, I just sort of drown.

 

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I wish the best for your own grandparents. You should just try and take care of them for the meantime, do what you can in their old age. Trust me, they will appreciate it.

 

The important thing to realize here too is that you don't necessarily have to try and cope alone. Talk with your friends, talk to us here. If you're finding it difficult, come and let loose your emotions, it's better than bottling them up. We will be here to support you through difficult times, and believe me, that makes all the difference. Your friends are some of the greatest coping mechanisms you can ask for.

[Comic Sans 401]

Honestly? I turn into a bit of a brat and can sometimes turn.. nasty, I guess? Well, that's at least when it comes to liking someone or going through a break up. Eventually I get over it though and look back and wonder why I behaved like that.

[Oblivion 20,265]

Honestly? I turn into a bit of a brat and can sometimes turn.. nasty, I guess? Well, that's at least when it comes to liking someone or going through a break up. Eventually I get over it though and look back and wonder why I behaved like that.

You know, I actually do that very VERY same thing in terms of a romantic relationship breakup, I tend to get really cold and even turn on friends in some ways....it's really quite sad.

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I wish the best for your own grandparents. You should just try and take care of them for the meantime, do what you can in their old age. Trust me, they will appreciate it.

 

The important thing to realize here too is that you don't necessarily have to try and cope alone. Talk with your friends, talk to us here. If you're finding it difficult, come and let loose your emotions, it's better than bottling them up. We will be here to support you through difficult times, and believe me, that makes all the difference. Your friends are some of the greatest coping mechanisms you can ask for.

Thank you so much, your words also mean a lot to me, and I will, that's all I can do is try my best and keep moving forward.  

[Comic Sans 401]

You know, I actually do that very VERY same thing in terms of a romantic relationship breakup, I tend to get really cold and even turn on friends in some ways....it's really quite sad.

At least you know you're not alone in that. <3 I have turned on friends and ignored them for long periods of time many, many times and I can't really help it~

[man dude man 555]

Its only disappointing for as long as you let it be, since things are either meant to be or they arent, if someone is not making the signals clear of if they showing uninterest, your time belongs to you, dont enslave yourself to your own emotions, control the positivity in them, and surround yourself with individuals that respect the value of you and your time.

[Silver Letter 1,830]

With bad memories of failed friendships, all we can do is try to move on. The memories remain though. They can never truly fade away. I've learned that and seen it many times. Friendship truly stays the same as long as we are willing to pursue it.

[Sail8 3]

In the past year and a half, my father has been let go from his job, my puppy passed away, and my two 17 and 18-year-old cats passed away. I've been told that it doesn't matter at all and that their lives were worthless; "get over it". I say bullroar.

 

 

Just because someone is not necessarily human doesn't mean that their life means more or less or that their death doesn't hurt you.

 

 

I'm now close to a year since my cat Gussy died and 2 1/2 months since Sammy died. Do I miss them? Like heck. I don't miss them any less than I did their death days. It's just that the grief comes in less frequent intervals. 

 

I find most comfort in writing a letter to them and sending it off into the wind. I like to think that they know how much I still love them, even though I cannot possibly know who does or doesn't have an afterlife. My therapist also helps a lot in everything that has happened; if you find a good enough grief counselor, you can trudge through just about anything. 

 

Hope this helps anyone who needs it <3

[TePineer 82]

I would say i am pretty good at coping with loss. I've lost all of my grandparents. My grandmother on my mom's side passed away summer about two years ago, and I know she has it better in heaven. I am a christian and i think the knowledge of heaven makes it much easier.

[Wicked Funky 2,955]

Step 1: Get cookies.

 

Step 2: Get sketchbook and pens.

 

Step 3: Cry alo..... Profit.

[Oblivion 20,265]

In the past year and a half, my father has been let go from his job, my puppy passed away, and my two 17 and 18-year-old cats passed away. I've been told that it doesn't matter at all and that their lives were worthless; "get over it". I say bullroar.

 

 

Just because someone is not necessarily human doesn't mean that their life means more or less or that their death doesn't hurt you.

 

 

I'm now close to a year since my cat Gussy died and 2 1/2 months since Sammy died. Do I miss them? Like heck. I don't miss them any less than I did their death days. It's just that the grief comes in less frequent intervals. 

 

I find most comfort in writing a letter to them and sending it off into the wind. I like to think that they know how much I still love them, even though I cannot possibly know who does or doesn't have an afterlife. My therapist also helps a lot in everything that has happened; if you find a good enough grief counselor, you can trudge through just about anything. 

 

Hope this helps anyone who needs it <3

People telling you to just "grow up" have a bit of growing up to to themselves. People should realize that some people just CANNOT let go of the past no matter how bad they want to, it just these memories and thoughts are stuck in our head and on repeat constantly, it's hard, it's REALLY hard for people like us. And unfortunately my rollar coaster of pain has JUST began it seems, I expect a lot LOT more sorrow sooner or later.... 

Step 1: Get cookies.

 

Step 2: Get sketchbook and pens.

 

Step 3: Cry alo..... Profit.

I have cried alone plenty of times, it does help to an extent, or make me feel worse...one or the other. Personally I like crying in front of someone such as a good friend because then at least I know someone is there. 

[Cimarronboy 247]

Some things are as easy to let go as a marshmallow straight off the fire, others stickier than leeches. All can lead to some sort of growth but they can equally be just as destructive to their host. Take unforgiven for an example. A kid goes through his life, abused and enslaved. As he grows his feelings towards those who control his life cause him to develop a stubborn resolve. Toward the end the experiences he's suffered lead him to take a dip in the well, essentially willing death to takes him as his resolve becomes nothing more than a memory. That's more a chronological example than anything. Basically letting go is one of the essential gift/curse combos we need to learn to deal with as we get older in life, death being the easiest and yet most difficult. 

 

As for me it depends on the situation. On one hand there are things I carry with me to this day, both positive and negative, that influence my mind. On the other hand there are things that have made me better because I've experienced them and accepted them (letting go of the influence they've had, i.e. getting burned as a kid messing with fire) as a part of life. 

 

The latter half of 2015 was bad. 2014 seen an event where I lost a big part of myself, and coming off of that I wasn't ready for what 2015 had in store. 10 relatives and several close pets (most owned by friends) in one year, one every month in the second half of the year. I cried for all of them, mainly for the pain everyone else felt over the loss. The ones that I've yet to let go have reasons they stay. One involves rebuilding a relationship devastated by the 2014 event. The second involves teaching a lesson in life, showing those responsible the effects their actions have on the world around them and helping them to change their ways so that they may use their uncanny influence on others to help better others' lives. Admittedly those two have been the most difficult, since they involve me ignoring my emotional instincts (for the better in the latter as it has also created a st. peter kind of mind state, which I must overcome because it's not the right way to deal with the situation),so that I may approach those involved with whatever is preventing me from letting go, and resolve those issues. 

[Invincible 2,090]

It becomes easier if you can detach yourself; emotionally speaking. The less you care, the easier it becomes.

 

For a while I had a harder time doing it, but now not so much. I guess it really depends on how much the object of your detachment has engrained itself in your mind.

[PinkieatHeart 208]

I've spent quite a lot of time training myself to detach from things and people at a moment's notice. Cuz I've had to do it a lot. The only problem with that is that you start forgetting how to attach to people after a while... it's really not the healthiest way to go about it, I suppose.

[Perradial 114]

I let go easily. I don't show it on the outside (ninety-nine percent of the time), which usually helps me get through it somehow.

[Oblivion 20,265]

I've spent quite a lot of time training myself to detach from things and people at a moment's notice. Cuz I've had to do it a lot. The only problem with that is that you start forgetting how to attach to people after a while... it's really not the healthiest way to go about it, I suppose.

While I'm going down that very road myself, learning not to love, learning how to hate, self loathing and regret around ever corner, my heart grows old and weary not trusting anyone....that's the man I myself am starting to become....

I let go easily. I don't show it on the outside (ninety-nine percent of the time), which usually helps me get through it somehow.

I dunno, for me it feels good to cry in front of a dear friend that I trust. (or at least think I can), because I know that someone is their, holding my hand and giving my heart a cruch.

[Rainbow Dash 1,471]

for me in comes in three stages. Number one is not wanting to accept the fact I cant have the thing or person i wanted. Number 2 is acting as if im over it but still hoping it will come to me. Number 3 is just getting over it. Usually I tend to do work or walk around to cope.

[King 5,625]

I could never detach myself from someone or something I love, rather I simply learn to accept the situation no matter how it turns out. If I realise that something is out of my reach I won't try to cling at it like its a thread keeping me from falling into an abyss, rather I choose to accept the situation how it is and move forward. It doesn't mean I won't feel pain, I'll simply deal with it as it comes.