general Do you want children?

[Miles 2,512]

I would love to have a child sometime down the road, plenty after I've graduated college and have settled into a career.  

I've just always been the kind of person who would rather do what I do for the sake of someone else.  And that has made it difficult for me, being an only child.  I have always wished that I had a younger sibling, to love and care for, and guide them as they grow up... Ensuring they don't make the same mistakes I might have made; ensuring they have it easier than I did.

Some friends (of whom have siblings) have said to me that siblings are annoying and don't see why I'd wish to have a younger sibling... But I'm just different.  I would automatically change the way I live, the decisions I make, the paths I choose, in order to make life easier for them.

But now that I know that's never going to happen, I can transfer the same rationale to having a child or children.  

So, yeah... It's definitely a life goal of mine.

~ Miles

[ShadOBabe 18,984]

Oh no, not saying you have to, I just think you'd be a good Mom is all. Perhaps "disappointed" was the wrong word to use, I'm sincerely sorry if I've offended.

None taken. I was just a little confused. XD

[Anneal 2,194]

Jesus, this is depressing how many people don't want children. That I can respect, it's your choice, but the reasons? Hating children? . . . Hating humanity?! What ARE you?! Actually, I know the answer to that question, you ARE humans that were once children!

 

To actually answer the question, yes, more than anything I want a family. I want to find the one who I'll spend the rest of my life with and together we'll raise two, maybe more, messy, fussy, crying, angry, high maintenance, happy, beautiful, wonderful, unconditionally loving and loved in return, children.

 

I have fantasies, full blown fantasies, of one day being a husband and father.

I'm more surprised that most people here don't want it because they don't like children or humanity, rather than the common "I can't support one financially", "I'm not married or I don't have a partner", or "I don't think I'm good at handling children".

 

I really don't feel obligated to have a children and family, and I don't even have a girlfriend right now. And while children can be annoying and pretty damn expensive, I at least hope whatever children I have can be more successful than I am. 2030 is a pretty interesting time for another generation anyway.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

I'm more surprised that most people here don't want it because they don't like children or humanity, rather than the common "I can't support one financially", "I'm not married or I don't have a partner", or "I don't think I'm good at handling children".

 

I really don't feel obligated to have a children and family, and I don't even have a girlfriend right now. And while children can be annoying and pretty damn expensive, I at least hope whatever children I have can be more successful than I am. 2030 is a pretty interesting time for another generation anyway.

 

Well those reasons I actually respect as they are more legit reasons not to have kids. Not wanting them because you don't think it would be fair to them, you couldn't do the job. I'd certainly rather have people realize they aren't cut out to be parents before having kids rather than after.

[ShadOBabe 18,984]

Well those reasons I actually respect as they are more legit reasons not to have kids. Not wanting them because you don't think it would be fair to them, you couldn't do the job. I'd certainly rather have people realize they aren't cut out to be parents before having kids rather than after.

And you know, it's okay to not really enjoy the company of children.

I can't tolerate them for extended periods of time.

 

And you seem to think that when someone says this it's because they're JUDGING the child for being a child. They're not. They're just saying that they don't appreciate their company. It puts stress on them. And if they can't deal with that, then yeah, they shouldn't be having kids.

Heck, I hated hanging out with other children when I WAS a child. I always preferred spending time with adults. They didn't scream, and whine, and fight, and get in my space, mess with my things or pick on me. They we quiet and attentive and capable of holding extended conversations.

 

Though I did petty good this past Christmas at my grandma's house. I had five baby cousins all sitting on me at once trying to get a look at my artwork on my iPad. It was cute. Guess I was just in a tolerant mood.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

And you know, it's okay to not really enjoy the company of children.

I can't tolerate them for extended periods of time.

 

And you seem to think that when someone says this it's because they're JUDGING the child for being a child. They're not. They're just saying that they don't appreciate their company. It puts stress on them. And if they can't deal with that, then yeah, they shouldn't be having kids.

Heck, I hated hanging out with other children when I WAS a child. I always preferred spending time with adults. They didn't scream, and whine, and fight, and get in my space, mess with my things or pick on me. They we quiet and attentive and capable of holding extended conversations.

 

Though I did petty good this past Christmas at my grandma's house. I had five baby cousins all sitting on me at once trying to get a look at my artwork on my iPad. It was cute. Guess I was just in a tolerant mood.

 

I played with my baby cousins. Sword fights, chases, play acting. It was a good time at the Christmas party.

[PastelBread 147]

Hahahaha nope. I do not want children at all. 

Edited February 1, 2016 by Tea Drinker

[Anneal 2,194]

I played with my baby cousins. Sword fights, chases, play acting. It was a good time at the Christmas party.

 

I feel like the difference between children and adults are that children aren't really "corrupted" by experience, not just yet. They're just innocent little beings who continue to be happy and mess around like nothing's wrong...and I don't think older people can really replicate that anymore. Now ignorance is nothing to strive for, but maybe trying to act more like the hopeful children that we are before could make a difference.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

I feel like the difference between children and adults are that children aren't really "corrupted" by experience, not just yet. They're just innocent little beings who continue to be happy and mess around like nothing's wrong...and I don't think older people can really replicate that anymore. Now ignorance is nothing to strive for, but maybe trying to act more like the hopeful children that we are before could make a difference.

 

Hey I'm with you all the way, why do you think I like this show? Because it appeals to that sense of optimism and hope.

[That Guy with the CMB 5,869]

I don't know, as of right now. I don't know if I trust myself with that kind of responsibility.

[Denim&Venöm 16,459]

Nah. I'm too lazy to be a good parent. Also I'd rather live by myself if possible. Have time away from people. Obviously you cant do that with kids. Then comes planning your life around them. You loose all autonomy as an individual when you have kids. Your life now becomes devoted to them, and I'm not ready to give up my liberty just yet. 

 

That and as mentioned, kids can be annoying, selfish, insensitive, destructive, expensive,etc. I see parents dealing with their own obnoxious kids and ponder why they thought it was a good idea. Heck, I even wonder why my parents had me? I still haven't come to a logical conclusion. 

 

And could I handle the responsibility. If I screw up, I'm not the victim. Somebody else is. Could I make it through life, paranoid with that consequence hanging over my head. Could I live with myself should I screw up another life?

 

It's best that I focus on becoming a more fulfilled individual, before I seek bring another into the world. 

[Johnny1226 14,674]

Maybe eventualy in time the thought is nice but it would take much preparation for starters a lot of money

[Memory Lane 131]

While I am fond of children, I can say with confidence I'll never have any of my own. Traditional family life simply doesn't appeal to me.

[Lisa 5,551]

Society totally does act like having kids is the normal thing to do.

 

Because in a human biological sense it is. Reproducing is the key motive behind all animals.

_____________

 

I'm not going to have kids because I'm not a normal human.

[Justin_Case001 4,855]

I don't want children ever.  I've known that for a long time.  You know when you're little and you say you'll never have a baby some adults will be like, "oh, just you wait, you'll change your mind".  Yeah, well I haven't changed my mind!

 

Society totally does act like having kids is the normal thing to do.  And if you don't do it then you're not normal. I say buck that!

You took the words right out of my mouth.  I mean, like literally.  I was going to make this exact same post, almost word for word.  I can't count the number of times that I told adults I never wanted kids when I was little, and then as a teen, and I constantly heard, "Oh, you say that now!"  That was always the line.  "You say that now!"  I knew I never wanted kids from the moment I was old enough to develop a theory of mind.  Here I am, 30 years old, and it hasn't changed, and it never will.

 

Plus, I'm given to understand than some sort of human contact with another person is required for reproduction, so...y'know, that would kind of be an insurmountable wall for me anyway.

[Invincible 2,090]

Maybe some day. I'm definitely keen on "Continuing my legacy". I've already discussed this before with my girlfriend - who responded very ambitiously; she wants three kids. I'd be fine with one, really. I would really want a daughter one day.

 

I'll tell you this much; I'll only have kids when I can support them. Bringing a child into the world when their parents aren't fit to raise them is something I never will agree with.

[JonasDarkmane 19,777]

I am open for the possibility. Right now, I do not think that it would be a responsible thing to be doing, but again, I am rather open to the future. 

[Veil 259]

I used too think I'll never have children. Then I thought about if I could ever get my life figured out. Maybe find someone worth my time. Then ya I could see myself wanting a child. It's just one of those things that only when you are sure you are ready for it.

[rarity1 461]

I don't have the patience to raise children.

[RavenholmZombie 1,329]

I personally cannot ever see myself ever having or even wanting children.

 

There are several reasons why, though. Those include

1. Genetically-caused mental health issues including ADHD and Autism.
2. Terrible eyesight (the majority of people in my family wear glasses, contacts, or had to have laser eye surgery)
3. Heart issues (I have a soft heart murmur.)
4. Genetic diabetes being strong on both sides of my family and, as a result, in myself as well.

[Spark Thunderbass 1,394]

I can't really decide at the moment. Maybe later in the future.

[Mythical 59]

This is not a good subject for me to think about at the age of fourteen.

[Alpha-Mango 16]

I didn't want Kids for many Years and thought I would never change my Mind. But i did, and now it's a great Hope for me and my Boyfriend. Even though, I have great respect for the responsibility.

[Jaxsie (Inactive) 1,343]

I have no interest in marriage at the moment; so as of right now, I don't want children. Then again, I am only 17 -- you never know what might change in the next several years. But writing from how I feel now, I don't have the patience to deal with children. I think motherhood is a beautiful thing, but I'm not at that point in life -- assuming that I'll ever be. But you never know what life has in store and how perspectives could change.

Edited February 5, 2016 by Jaxsie

[Jest (Inactive) 875]

Well those reasons I actually respect as they are more legit reasons not to have kids. Not wanting them because you don't think it would be fair to them, you couldn't do the job. I'd certainly rather have people realize they aren't cut out to be parents before having kids rather than after.

 

Who are you to decide if another persons reason to have a child is legit, even if someone said I don't want a child because I want more money to myself sounds selfish but it is still a legit reason, it's actually pretty depressing that you and most of society think we should all poop out babies just because it is the moral or natural thing to do, stop belittling peoples opinions and choices. Dw I'm pretty chilled but the reason I am kinda' mythed about this aswell is what about people  who are attracted totally or mostly to the same sex, is that not a legit reason too? 

Edited February 1, 2016 by Jestwinged