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general Do you want children?


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While anything can change, I really don't want to have kids at this point. Admittedly I'm probably somewhat self-centered in that regard, but at the same time it takes a LOT of effort and time to properly raise a child. It is literally a life-changing event and I just don't want that responsibility on my shoulders for the time being.

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Yes, I do eventually want kids, but definitely not for a while. I've still got to go through college and try to find out where I want to go after that. Plus I want to get married first, so that I know my relationship is at least stable. Also I don't want any more than two kids, my mom had three and I think that's too much to handle. I'm hoping the topic of kids is far off on the horizon for me though.

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I've thought a lot about this over the years and I've cone to the conclusion that even if I wanted kids (which I don't) I'm far too irresponsible and selfish to give a child of mine the upbringing they would deserve. Along with that, Ive wasted the life I've had till now by being scared for everything and not having any experiences because of it .

 

 

I'm in my mid twenties now, and I want to live the rest of my life neitger afraid nor burdered with the lifetime responsibility of parenthood

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Who are you to decide if another persons reason to have a child is legit, even if someone said I don't want a child because I want more money to myself sounds selfish but it is still a legit reason, it's actually pretty depressing that you and most of society think we should all poop out babies just because it is the moral or natural thing to do, stop belittling peoples opinions and choices. Dw I'm pretty chilled but the reason I am kinda' mythed about this aswell is what about people  who are attracted totally or mostly to the same sex, is that not a legit reason too?

 

It's not an obligation to make offspring, of course, and it's not morally wrong not to, but judging with the overwhelming "no"s from this topic the next few generations could very much be in danger if there aren't enough people having them either.

 

If China went with its one-child policy, for example, their age and sex ratios would be far too unbalanced and would add even more problems to just overpopulation. And that's just with everyone getting one child.

 

Taiwan, Japan, and Korea already experience issues with age ratio and not having enough children, and if they don't get enough they'll start losing their population instead along with its labor force and educational system. Japan's aging curve is bad enough that almost a quarter of its population is over 65.

 

Two children per nuclear family is pretty much the minimum for a stable population. Of course I can't generalize a population based off one site, but I am genuinely concerned if everyone feels like this.

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Yup 83

2 little me wondering around, or a boy and a girl :D

I would play with them everyday, LEGO, cartoons, movies

I would take days off from work just to be with them, everyday ice cream day xD

Well and also salad, sometimes :P

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Honestly, I wouldn't look forward to being a parent for like the first 3 or 4 years of a child's life. Young children are fragile, know nothing about the world, and can't do anything themselves. Being responsible for the care of a little being who can't tell me what he/she needs seems like such a daunting thing to me. Add in the screaming and crying and and barfing and shitty pants at any hour of the day, and I'm pretty sure I'd be miserable for those years.

 

But with that aside, someday, yes... I would love to be a dad. As a kid, my dad was amazing, and I enjoyed spending time with him as much as I enjoyed anything else. If I'm in my 30s and 40s and I don't get to have kids of my own and be a dad to my children, then I'm going to feel like my life is missing something really important. So I know I do want kids.

 

I need to get my own life figured out, though. As it is now, I'm only barely an adult, and I'm not totally independent from my own parents. The way I see myself now, I could never raise a kid on my own, and I wouldn't intend to. As stereotypical as it is, I think life would be best if I did the very thing that society would expect of me. I'm going to school now so that I can get a decent paying job and support myself and a family without my future wife needing to work, but that's still a long way away.

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I adore kids, and for sure want a few of my own one day. Though recently, with just how horrible the world is, I've been thinking that I don't want to bring more children into this world, and would be better off adopting. That way i'm not crowding the world further, and can still have my own children. I've always wanted to be a mom, honestly, i'd love to just be a stay at home mom for my animals and kids, and cook, clean, garden, etc.. but nobody my age wants to just settle, they all want to party and drink...

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Who are you to decide if another persons reason to have a child is legit, even if someone said I don't want a child because I want more money to myself sounds selfish but it is still a legit reason, it's actually pretty depressing that you and most of society think we should all poop out babies just because it is the moral or natural thing to do, stop belittling peoples opinions and choices. Dw I'm pretty chilled but the reason I am kinda' mythed about this aswell is what about people  who are attracted totally or mostly to the same sex, is that not a legit reason too? 

 

You are putting words in my mouth and I don't consider it fair. You don't want a kid, fine, I'm not one "to decide if another's reason is legit" or not but I do think it's a mark of responsibility to know one is not in a position to support a child emotionally, financially, genetically, etc.

 

Secondly, I'm not one to decide what is a legit reason to or not to. My post said I would rather people have the wisdom and self-knowledge to know they don't want to be parents before any are sired. Rather than dive headlong into parenthood before they are ready. I am not speaking for a majority or from an authority dictating to others when I say I want to have kids, I'm speaking for me as I know myself well enough to know that such is a desirable epoch I want in my life. To help give life and raise a human being with my beloved.

 

To actually answer your miffed question, what does same sex attraction have to do with the desire to raise a child? A straight person could not want to raise a kid, a gay one could also not. Just as much as both a straight or gay couple could both want kids. 

Edited by Steel Accord
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Well, I know for sure that I'm never having a kid biologically speaking, because of my tocophobia (i.e. fear of pregnancy to the point where it constitutes a phobia). The mere thought of going through with a pregnancy just... eugh. Power to those who do it, seriously, but it's just not for me.

 

Maybe down the line though, I could end up adopting a child or two. I think it'd be really nice to give a loving home to kids who don't have one. I'm pretty iffy on the whole child-rearing thing as well, but I could see that at least changing as I age.

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Yes! Million children!

my-little-pony-Queen-Chrysalis-mlp-art-m

 

But besides jokes, I don't mind to build family one day.

 

I most definitely don't want children. At least, that's my mindset now. I'm not really a "kid person". I understand that people say it's different when you have one of your own, but the idea of it doesn't appeal to me.

 

If it's not baby princess alicorn, right? LOL

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No thank you. I do not have the patience.

Also I am intimidated by the responsibility of molding a functional human being.

I don't think I'd be very good at it. And I don't think enough people acknowledge this MASSIVE responsibility before having kids.

I don't want kids, but I'm not against other people having them, but I sadly noticed an increasing amount of "parents" that don't respect the responsibility of having a child. The best kind of parents I see nowadays is of those that, in order to shut their child, they spoil them or give them presents  >_>

 

LOL!! Why disappointing?

Nothing is lost by me not taking up a responsibly I don't want.

And literally no one other than you has been disappointed by this statement when it's brought up.

 

But I'm flattered you think I'd do a good job.

I saw an episode of Pac Man Ghostly Adventures taught me the wisdom of not taking a responsibility you're not capable of doing

 

I would love to have a child sometime down the road, plenty after I've graduated college and have settled into a career.  

 

I've just always been the kind of person who would rather do what I do for the sake of someone else.  And that has made it difficult for me, being an only child.  I have always wished that I had a younger sibling, to love and care for, and guide them as they grow up... Ensuring they don't make the same mistakes I might have made; ensuring they have it easier than I did.

 

Some friends (of whom have siblings) have said to me that siblings are annoying and don't see why I'd wish to have a younger sibling... But I'm just different.  I would automatically change the way I live, the decisions I make, the paths I choose, in order to make life easier for them.

 

But now that I know that's never going to happen, I can transfer the same rationale to having a child or children.  

 

So, yeah... It's definitely a life goal of mine.

 

~ Miles

Well, I won't go cynic telling you a younger brother is hell, but is no unicorns and rainbows either  :huh:

Yes, I got a younger sibling  ;)

 

And you know, it's okay to not really enjoy the company of children.

I can't tolerate them for extended periods of time.

 

And you seem to think that when someone says this it's because they're JUDGING the child for being a child. They're not. They're just saying that they don't appreciate their company. It puts stress on them. And if they can't deal with that, then yeah, they shouldn't be having kids.

Heck, I hated hanging out with other children when I WAS a child. I always preferred spending time with adults. They didn't scream, and whine, and fight, and get in my space, mess with my things or pick on me. They we quiet and attentive and capable of holding extended conversations.

 

Though I did petty good this past Christmas at my grandma's house. I had five baby cousins all sitting on me at once trying to get a look at my artwork on my iPad. It was cute. Guess I was just in a tolerant mood.

Now that you mention it, I think most of my experiences with children aren't too thrilling  :huh: (Maybe it's just me, but I usually deal with spoiled kids with irresponsible parents >_> ). In fact, I usually don't get along with people of my age either  :P , I enjoy the company with wise elderly people  :please:

 

Hey I'm with you all the way, why do you think I like this show? Because it appeals to that sense of optimism and hope.

Need to hug a pony so hard  :(

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I can't answer. At the moment I don't like children and find them very annoying but if I ever have the luck to get into a long lasting serious relationship I don't know if my view of it will change. I mean I haven't even finished college yet, I think I'd be able to get a clearer answer when I'm like 30 or something.

This ... is wisdom. It is a concept I wish that many young parents had.

 

As someone who has had two little me's running around for ... a while ... it isn't an easy journey when you are all in. I've seen parents who had kids because of some social or relationship obligation. You should only start considering having and raising kids when you really want them or think you are ready (no one really is though), and you are doing it for the right reasons. If anyone says, I don't want kids because of x, y, or z ... I salute them. My respect is high for anyone that understands the responsibility and work involved. Live your life and if you feel ready ... you'll know. If not ... keep living life.


 

And yes, it is ok to not want to be around kids. Heck even though I love mine 100% of the time, I only like them 95% of the time.

 

-_-

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I'm currently in an on and off relationship with an unstable crazy girl who I love very much. We've been together for around 3 years now and have even named our future kids. I love kids and I hope to be a dad someday but I wouldn't want to have kids right now. I'm just not ready and I know that I wouldn't be able to support them both financially and emotionally.

Tldr I want kids but only in the future when I'm around 30.

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I adore kids, and for sure want a few of my own one day. Though recently, with just how horrible the world is, I've been thinking that I don't want to bring more children into this world, and would be better off adopting. That way i'm not crowding the world further, and can still have my own children. I've always wanted to be a mom, honestly, i'd love to just be a stay at home mom for my animals and kids, and cook, clean, garden, etc.. but nobody my age wants to just settle, they all want to party and drink...

 

Actually most of that crowding is due to poverty and other factors (China had poverty, education issues, and all that for a few decades and look what happened to their population), so technically having children or not having them isn't going to have a serious effect on "overpopulating" the planet. Most developed country-families have three or less children anyway, so the population doesn't seriously change. A massive amount of people choosing to not have kids or marrying very late, however, can be problematic.

 

Also the age 30 is the time where people really change, if you're just hanging out with people around 20-25, of course they're going to be all party guys and girls. You don't have to make the decision to start a family now, anyways, and in the not too distant future having children without actually getting pregnant is a very possible option (especially with potential breakthroughs and countries already experimenting with "three-parent babies").

Edited by Sealand
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Considering how much I can't stand toddlers, I doubt I'll ever want children. I don't like babysitting my one year old niece, as horrible as that sounds. I just can't stand children. I love my niece so much, but taking care of her is bit ky thing. Taking care of any child is not my thing. Heck, I was even annoyed by a six year old at a pool party.

So yeah. I don't want to deal with kids. Maybe I'll change mind, but for now, I see myself living alone.

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At some point, yes.

 

But certainly not anytime soon. In my early 30s I might start to seriously consider it.

 

Of course, this all depends on whether I actually manage to get a girlfriend at some point, which I haven't had much luck with so far :lol:

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Currently the answer is yes. I've always looked forward to the idea of raising children, though the reason why is difficult to explain. I definitely understand that its difficult to handle young children (babies and toddlers mostly) but when you get through the difficulty you'll end up with a young person capable of some intelligent discussion. Teaching them about the world and trying to ensure they'll grow up to be respectful and mature individuals always sounded like fun to me, though I won't pretend it's an easy thing to do.

 

Either way Im only 20, I've got plenty of time to be single and childless. Plenty of time to think about what I want.

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Due to personal reasons I will not disclose in this thread and I just can't stand to be around children. I keep being told I will change my mind as I am older but I don't see this happening at all. I have never and will never be interested in having children.

Edited by QuirkyUsername
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I would LOVE to have kids. I absolutely love children!

 

I used to baby sit this 4 year old all the time. She loved to sing "let it go" from Frozen. It was cute.

I don't see how anybody could NOT like children. The things they do and say are so damn goofy that it's down right adorable.

 

 

 

 

 

...but then they become teenagers.

 

If I have a son, I'm would teach him what it means to be a man.

  • beer
  • football
  • hard work
  • more beer

And when he turns 16, I'm taking my boy to a strip club where he can become a MAN.

Later when he's in his mid twenties, he'll have a hot 10/10 wife, 2-3 kids, and a successful job.

At that moment, I can retire in peace. Knowing that that man right there is MY boy.

 

 

If I had a girl on the other hand, I would dedicate my life on protecting her from boys like ( see above ).

I would have a empty hunting wall decor above my fire place for any "boyfriends" who dare to even think about deflowering my baby girl.

 

I will let her date ( when she's 16 ). But I'd need to have a little talk with her "date."

 

I'd be sure to show him my fancy (and future) gun collection. I'd get his name, write it on the a bullet and give him a choice; The face or The dick?

 

They think I'm crazy? GOOD! They'll all know to stay away from the girl with the bat shit crazy father.

 

 

 

'Murica

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I'm not sure. This is something that I'll admit hasn't really crossed the forefront of my mind just yet. I've often fantasized as I'm sure many others have about settling down with a family, raising kids to see them on a happy and fulfilling path to life, passing on what I've learned so that they may carry it with them to the future. It sounds serene in my head, but I know the reality of it would likely be a lot harder than that.

 

Children are our future, yes, but they're also a huge responsibility. Most of them will grow depending on the environment that you raise them in, and I'd want that environment to be as pleasant as possible for them. My own parents were extremely supportive of me throughout my childhood, and I really do sometimes take for granted just how blessed I was to have been raised by them the way I was. I don't think I'd be anywhere near the person I am today if it weren't for that. Yet I see so many children who are forced to go through their most vulnerable years in an unstable household, whether it be due to difficulties in marriage, financial, or even just parents who simply weren't prepared for the responsibility of caring for a child. It's almost heartbreaking for me to see a child with parents who you know aren't giving them anywhere near the amount of care they need, or worse, forcing them to grow up in a hostile environment. The chances of them having a healthy, functioning life for themselves becomes severely compromised.

 

I know that at the same time it's important not to be too over-protective of your children, they must eventually attain a level of independence for themselves, but I really do feel that to give them the best chance at a healthy independent life you need to raise them in a relatively functional family. I may not yet have children of my own, but I know from countless testimonials of parents who have that your children will quickly become the most important things in your life, and that the freedom you may have once had before them will quickly disappear. You really need to consider just how you're going to support your new family financially, getting yourself a stable job, and maybe accepting that it's time to settle down and put aside any personal goals or dreams you might have had, at least for the time being.

 

So no, considering some of the above I don't believe I'd be ready to take on the responsibility of my own children quite just yet, at least not while I continue to study in Theater. I would want to be a parent who is always there for my child, just as my own parents were for me, and I wouldn't want my commitments to the profession keeping me absent from their lives. They would deserve better than that.

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I don't want kids. I enjoy children much more as the "fun uncle". All the playing, horsing around, and teaching them bad habits, but none of the responsibility of raising a child. :muffins:

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It surprises me how many people on here don't want children. How we raise our children is one of the most facinating things about our species. :confused:

 

For myself? I don't even want a relationship to begin with and I am not even 18 yet. So as it stands right now I will not get any children in the forseeable future.

But maybe some years down the line. Grew up with a lot of siblings, so I at least know what to expect. My family has a tendancy to make lots of children, so I am most likely going to do the same one day. XD

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