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General Phrases That Don't ACTUALLY Make Any Sense/Aren't Helpful

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itt: people taking phrases too literally and completely missing the point

 

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On 4/10/2019 at 4:36 AM, Lucky Bolt said:

"Money can't buy happiness." 

Um...yes it can. My happiness is sitting pretty in my driveway. :wub:

Damn right it can. Give someone $100 and see if they smile.

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"Don't assume"

I hate this one with a passion...It's one of my biggest pet peeves when people play this fucking card...I mean how can someone not do this at times? Especially when they've been betrayed by 99% of the people they've known in life...

"Fight fire with fire"

If my house is on fire I'm not going to use a flamethrower or a blow torch on it. I'm going to use a water hose or fire extinguisher on it like a sane person...

"The Devil made me do it!"

No. The Devil didn't make you do shit. You chose to on your own.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I suppose this can be true. Like if that person was completely in love with you or something. But usually all it does is cause you and that person to drift apart and them to replace you like you're yesterday's news.

"Misery loves company"

This is usually true but some people are loners by nature. And there are a lot of people who like to be left alone when they're upset.

"If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."

No if I keep something bottled up I can feel it poisoning me. Seriously, doing that is as fucking toxic as Hell...

"Just be yourself"

Where do I even begin with this one...

"Believe in yourself"

No. Believing you can win doesn't mean jackshit. It does nothing to help your chances of winning. Believe me I know from personal experience...

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Not so much not being helpful as being completely misunderstood. 

  • "Blood is thicker than water." You think it means family is more important. In reality, this phrase implies the opposite. It's actually "The blood of the covenant, is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning that the bonds you choose to form on your own are more important than the ones you're born with. 
  • "Jack of all trades, master of none." Basically pick one thing and be good at it. But the full phrase is "Jack of all trades, master of none, is better than being a master of one." That puts forth the message to try many things in life and have a few skills in each. 
  • "Curiosity killed the cat." Don't investigate something or else you may regret it. But the complete quote is "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." So maybe it's better to take the risk than have the unknown continually nag at you. 
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6 hours ago, Asbel Lhant said:

"Misery loves company"

 This is usually true but some people are loners by nature. And there are a lot of people who like to be left alone when they're upset.

That's not really what it means though. "Misery loves company" just mean that people who are unhappy may get some consolation from knowing that other people are unhappy too. 

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when someone says they COULD CARE LESS

BINCH it's COULDN'T care less LITERALLY listen to yourself you FOOL UGH

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"It's the thought that counts"

No it isn't. When buying someone a gift, you should actually think about what you know someone likes instead of just giving them random crap. Not to mention it's important to know what constitutes an appropriate gift.

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"All bullies are cowards at heart"

Might be the case for some. However the rest, I'm pretty sure are just sociopathic wankers.

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"Butt-kissing."

This phrase sounds kinda disgusting, once you think about it.

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“You can be whatever you want to be in life.”

”Just stop being nervous!”

”Life is great.”

”EA is a good and honest company.”

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"If I or she or he can do it, so can you!"

Oh geez, lets join hands and we can jump off the cliff together. (Not really, that was sarcasm. But man, people who say this or somewhere down line, well.. it's a pet peeve.

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“Kill two birds with one stone”

How about you leave the birds alone and put the stone back down?

Edited by ExplosionMare
Changed the quote
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10 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

“Piece of cake!”

Cake takes time and effort just like anything else, and it might end up terrible the first time. It’s not as easy as people say it is cause it doesn’t magically appear, you have to take the time to make it.

Maybe they mean that cake is easy to eat?

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On 8/20/2019 at 12:45 AM, TheRockARooster said:

“Trying to find a need in a haystack”

Why would you look?

Go to the house and get a new needle.

 

If you don't get the needles out, an unfortunate animal might hurt itself from eating the hay with the needle in it. Simple as that.

20 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

“Kill two birds with one stone”

How about you leave the birds alone and put the stone back down?

 

It means taking care of two problems with one solution

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6 minutes ago, Will Guide said:

If you don't get the needles out, an unfortunate animal might hurt itself from eating the hay with the needle in it. Simple as that.

It means taking care of two problems with one solution

Very true.

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2 minutes ago, TheRockARooster said:

Very true.

Plus as an expression Needle in a haystack means it's something very hard to find

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1 minute ago, Will Guide said:

Plus as an expression Needle in a haystack means it's something very hard to find

I know, my post was only trying to be funny. ^^

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8 hours ago, Will Guide said:

If you don't get the needles out, an unfortunate animal might hurt itself from eating the hay with the needle in it. Simple as that.

It means taking care of two problems with one solution

I know, it’s just a weird phrase

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A Southern product:  Fixin' to get ready.

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