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critique wanted Rate my Alicorn OC?


hollow-shades

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think it looks cool.

The real reason why alicorn OCs are hated so much is that they are usually made to be Mary Sue-ish.

I suggest you give your OC some quirks and flaws.

(OK I just looked at the personality and everything seems to check out. He seems very likeable)  :) 

 

As for the looks, it's nice. I love the color scheme and the contrast in clothes and coat (fur).  :grin2: RARITY APPROVED

The backstory is good and really engaged me. ^_^

 

I think Prince Kire will fit in just fine  :squee:

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Well, him be the adoptive brother to Celestia and Luna is 100% mary sue material. Not a huge fan of the pointy horn. I like the color scheme though, you really dont see enough green ponies! I'd say give him some drawbacks to make him more relatable!

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VERY Mary Sue, but definitely not the worst I've seen. For a Mary Sue, he's ok. Honestly, it's extremely hard to create an alicorn OC that is not Mary Sue. Taking that into consideration, he's pretty good, but could use some work.

 

The visual design is very good, though I would recommend getting a picture not from pony creator. Pony creator always immediately distracts from the rest of design, no matter how good it is. You can easily find someone on the forums that would be willing to draw him for you.

  • Brohoof 2
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  • 2 months later...

I have made two non mary sue Alicorn OCs (At least to me they certainly aren't) and I do think that this character is very much a mary sue. Just because somepony is a mary sue doesn't mean it can't be redeemed into a good pony. Maybe give him more flawed aspects like he doesn't want to let any pony down but always seems to make mistakes?. I do think he has potential to be a good character but he needs to have something that brings him down to relatable.

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