open Cheval - The Rueful, Selfish, Bore

[Cheval 61]

Somewhere along the prancing, gallant colors I often lose myself in one tirade or another. The colorful world. The jovial world. I find myself resenting it. I find myself condemning it. So for that I might as well apologize. I might as well resign myself to some margin, some minuscule portion in which I can stand and I can stare aghast at the great multitude of equines strolling along, thinking along. There is some cruel indignity in being and subsisting without knowing, without understanding. 

 

I am a cretin, a lethargic bore whom none could find interest outside of the most superfluous of conversational tip-bits. Oh, how is your day? Oh, what are you doing today? Oh, what have you done until this single, fleeting moment in a pathetic, lethargically progressing but cruelly finite mortal existence?

 

Ugh.

 

I am such a pretentious sort.

 

I procure these words and these thoughts - stringing them together without the slightest recourse - as though their own presence is validated by my attentiveness to them. 

 

I see the inter-mingling, the connectivity, the great and jovial reception and I am left bewildered - intimidated and reluctant to join. I see the monarchs, the god-like beings, that we are meant to praise and adore...and yet I see incompetence. I see fallibility. And the presence of mind necessary to inquire...I find it to be a rarity...a diamond amidst the cruel, sharp, gray stones.

 

And even then, there is interest and intrigue among them. 

 

But I am not herd. I am not heeded. How could I be?

 

I am not of interest! I am but a solitary, rueful stallion cloaked in brown - a most typical color, a most insignificant hide. And I am selfish. 

 

All I could ever dream in this life is to meet another of my own kind and have a perfectly candid conversation. No pretense, no justification....simply being.

 

Is there anyone who would dare approach me in such a state? Is there anyone who would even attempt such an endeavor? 

 

All I need is a simple hello. 

[Hypn0ticD 1,213]

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