Original Song: Immortality (Melodic Hardcore)

[MetalPony 1]

It's been awhile but I finally uploaded an original, pony-themed song. This song has two purposes: 1) I have yet to see anyone in the pony fandom to write a Melodic Hardcore song and I wanted to change that and 2) I wanted to experiment with a genre that I've never written in before. I hope it came out good But enough rambling! Here's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyEvobhEsLA

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

It's been awhile but I finally uploaded an original, pony-themed song. This song has two purposes: 1) I have yet to see anyone in the pony fandom to write a Melodic Hardcore song and I wanted to change that and 2) I wanted to experiment with a genre that I've never written in before. I hope it came out good But enough rambling! Here's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyEvobhEsLA

 

Ok. 

 

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say the screamo completely destroys the verses. I know you were just experiementing, but it totally did not blend well, and that is the honest truth. The verses is soft and it should just be a melody that is sung, building up to the screamo parts. Also, what you could do is have a screamo voice behind the main vocals (who should be singing a melody on higher notes). 

 

Your mix is way too shallow. Gotta add some depth to the mix. Specifically, there was too much high end. Hardcore is known for large amounts of depth and wide power chords featuring open harmonies. Closed harmonies crowd the too much, and combine that with the distortion and you'll get unnecessary extra noise. The drums are suffering from the high end as well. This is because the fact that crash cymbals produce high frequencies plus the fact they are repeatedly struck. With this, the cymbals are cutting during the repeated strikes instead of continuing to resonate. The melodic guitars were great though. They needed more presence in the song.

 

In terms of your lyrics, I unfortunately think you were telling a little too much. This makes the song cheesy. A rule of thumb for songwriting and all or writing is "show don't tell". Show how Twilight is suffering. Show the anguish and the pain, instead of telling the listener directly that she has lost all her friends and is sitting on a throne. 

 

All in all, it's an okay listen, but it could use a ton of work. I'm here if you need anything. 

[MetalPony 1]

Ok. 

 

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say the screamo completely destroys the verses. I know you were just experiementing, but it totally did not blend well, and that is the honest truth. The verses is soft and it should just be a melody that is sung, building up to the screamo parts. Also, what you could do is have a screamo voice behind the main vocals (who should be singing a melody on higher notes). 

 

Your mix is way too shallow. Gotta add some depth to the mix. Specifically, there was too much high end. Hardcore is known for large amounts of depth and wide power chords featuring open harmonies. Closed harmonies crowd the too much, and combine that with the distortion and you'll get unnecessary extra noise. The drums are suffering from the high end as well. This is because the fact that crash cymbals produce high frequencies plus the fact they are repeatedly struck. With this, the cymbals are cutting during the repeated strikes instead of continuing to resonate. The melodic guitars were great though. They needed more presence in the song.

 

In terms of your lyrics, I unfortunately think you were telling a little too much. This makes the song cheesy. A rule of thumb for songwriting and all or writing is "show don't tell". Show how Twilight is suffering. Show the anguish and the pain, instead of telling the listener directly that she has lost all her friends and is sitting on a throne. 

 

All in all, it's an okay listen, but it could use a ton of work. I'm here if you need anything. 

Thanks for the feedback. I'll definitely take the high end frequencies into consideration the next time I mix my songs. Honestly, the high end is really pleasing to my ears so I don't mess with them much. As for the screaming, well, I was basing this off of bands like Being as an Ocean and Thrones, which, in my opinion, are great examples of Melodic Hardcore. They normally don't sing in any of their songs even though they mainly consist of soft parts like this song did. I felt as though singing would've killed the vibe I was trying to portray in this song too.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Thanks for the feedback. I'll definitely take the high end frequencies into consideration the next time I mix my songs. Honestly, the high end is really pleasing to my ears so I don't mess with them much. As for the screaming, well, I was basing this off of bands like Being as an Ocean and Thrones, which, in my opinion, are great examples of Melodic Hardcore. They normally don't sing in any of their songs even though they mainly consist of soft parts like this song did. I felt as though singing would've killed the vibe I was trying to portray in this song too.

Well...tbh, the screaming absolutely killed the verses. Melodic hardcore is just one of those genres that just does not blend well. The screaming needed more depth and bulk...and the high-end/mid frequencies are in fact not good for the ears. It's why the low-end must also be blended into songs like this.