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Share something funny that happened to you!


Jennabun

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We all have funny moments that have happened to us in life. Whether it be a moment that was unusual, random, embarrassing, or otherwise hilarious -- I know you must have something humorous to share with us. Now is the time. Here is the place. Tell us a funny, true story!

 

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took a while for me to think of something. 

 

I remember something I did in like 4th grade. and oh boy was it embarrassing, as well as funny..

 

see, the day before me and my friend were messing with suction cups. well. me being a stupid kid put it in the center of my forehead.

 

ending up with a huge obvious circle on my forehead next day in class. Couldn't wear a hat or anything to cover it up. Recent years nothing too good has happened :P

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(edited)

ohhh boy... Here's a hecker of a story.

 

So, to avoid confusion, I should probably throw this out at the beginning of my tale. Yes, my profile says I'm female, but I am MtF trans. I'd rather keep it as female because I don't want anybody viewing me as anything else. I guess I feel like saying anything else would make people think I'm "less" of a female than an actual female, which is not true in the case of mentality, which is the only case that matters imo.

 

Anywho, so why did I mention that? Because this is one of the most awkward stories that can ever be told. This.... is a bathroom story.

 

So, let me set the scene. I was at Holiday World (an theme park) in Indiana with my Cousins, and we were just leaving for the day; but before we went, my cousin and I both had to use the bathroom... like REALLY bad... Bad enough that even though we were staying in the camp grounds literally within view of the amusement park's parking lot, we would not be able to make it if we had to walk. Well, when we got to the bathrooms, there was a really long line, and my cousin and I got in the line without hesitation. Directly in front of me was my cousin, and directly behind me was a random father and his son. The bathroom was built without a door, and had a large wall of concrete curving 90 degrees to the side to prevent people from looking inside like a lot of theme parks have. Waiting in the line felt like an eternity, but when at last my cousin went in and claimed a urinal, I knew I just had to wait for someone else to finish. Literally every toilet was taken, and nobody was following the "two stalls/urinals over" rule that men hold most sacred, so after looking, I accepted that I had to wait just a bit longer.... Well, wouldn't you know it, the desperate adult using the kid's urinal (You know, the ones that are really close to the ground so kids can reach them) finished before anyone else, and so, I had to take that one because at that point I swear, my eyeballs were floating.... But literally, the very MOMENT I approached the urinal and unzipped, my cousin using the one RIGHT next to me sized for a fully grown adult left and simultaneously, the father and his son walked around the corner.... his son who was too small to be able to reach the higher urinals.... So from his viewpoint, he saw me walk in around a corner, and then saw me using the only toilet that his kid could reach with a perfectly good, open urinal right next to me.... The guy must have thought I was the biggest jerk alive who purposefully took the only toilet his kid could use! What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just zip up and go "Oh, sorry, did you need this one?" I'd have wet myself because it was already on its way by the time he turned the corner.

 

So I just had to have the most awkward pee I've ever had, while looking in terror, dead in the eyes of a father who's son was just denied his chance to relieve himself. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity before the father took his kid's hand, and awkwardly walked him out of the bathroom.... and on his way out, he looked over his shoulder and shot me the most angry "I really hate you and hope that all that you love burns before your eyes" glare that I've ever seen! Like piercing daggers shooting directly into my soul!

 

So if by any crazy coincidence the child or his father winds up reading this some day...... I am so freaking sorry.... like SO freaking sorry!

Edited by Hocus Pocus
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see, the day before me and my friend were messing with suction cups. well. me being a stupid kid put it in the center of my forehead.

 

ending up with a huge obvious circle on my forehead next day in class. Couldn't wear a hat or anything to cover it up. Recent years nothing too good has happened :P

 

When I read this I instantly remembered that I've also done something similar to that! During my primary school years I was casually just browsing the internet but at the same time fiddling with things. Then I suddenly found a tiny cup and within that moment the genius idea crossed my mind - "I should put this thing over my lips and suck all the air our of it so it gets stuck on my mouth!" I did just that many times before I noticed that there was a circle around my mouth. I felt really stupid that I couldn't even hide the circle because I can't bury my face in a scarf in summer. I ended up powdering it so unprofessionally that it became even more obvious.  :lol:

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I was playing Mario Party 1 and choose the Donkey Kong stage...

 

Now me and the cpus for some reason could never get a star...Because all of us were unlucky enough to step on the happening space which caused the bolder to activate and push us away from the star.

 

I kept of flailing around wondering why this kept happening. My brother sang "Welcome to the Jungle in the background" As me and my imaginary crew kept failing.

 

Good times.

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One of the most embarrassing and funny moments that happened to me was a couple years back. I was in textiles and we use a thing called boarding to make fabric samples. I was having a really off day and I forgot what it was called. So I asked the teacher out loud. "Can I have some bondage please?" I have no idea how I even got the two mixed up! At the time I didn't even know what that was so I kept repeating it until my teacher got me to shut up. XD When my friend told me what it was, I went as red as a cherry!

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(edited)

I learned a fantastic engineering joke while I was in school.

 

The Space Shuttle's size and mass was partially constrained by how large they could make the big orange strap-on fuel tank, and that thing was constrained by how large they could make the solid fuel boosters which attached to it at the sides.

 

The boosters were built by United Launch Alliance, in Utah. Due to the routing of transporting the completed boosters, they had to be transported by rail from Utah to Cape Canaveral in Florida. No matter how they routed it, the boosters would inevitably have to go through a railroad tunnel. This meant the boosters could be no larger than the North American railroad gauge (width of track) for tunnels.

 

The North American railroad gauge standard is specified by the International Rail Gauge Standard, which is derived from a much older British standard, stemming all the way back to one of the very first railroads, the Liverpool and Manchester Railway (L&MR).

 

The railroad gauge there was originally designed as an improvement on old horse and cart road. They just laid rails on top of ruts, grooves that had been worn in between the two cities on a main road that had been there ever since those cities were Roman colonies. Horse and cart that traveled those roads initially were only as wide as they needed to be to accommodate two pulling horses.

 

So the size of the space shuttle is derived from the width of a horse's ass.

Edited by Blue
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So a few months back, we were taking a test in French. I didn't think it was a test, I thought it was a game like Kahoot, which in my class, we often don't use our real names. So I decided to name myself "White Vans"(yes, this was Damn Daniel). It turns out this was a test we were being graded on. So this means it might show up on my grade as "White Vans".

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I was on the high school debate team. Me and my debate partner Keri were in our first debate round ever, and it was all very intimidating. Keri and I were a team of two, and we had to debate another team of two from another school. We had a set topic, so we knew generally what we were debating about, but we did not know exactly how the other team might respond.

 

Well, we did our first speech, and that was decent. However, the team responded with arguments that we had not researched AT ALL. They were talking about how our proposed policy that we presented in the first speech would adversely affect the people of Tibet. Keri and I had no idea about anything related to Tibet. Tbh, we did not even know where Tibet was. We were just exchanging glances throughout the entire speech like, "OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SAY!?!?! WHAT EVEN IS TIBET!?!/1/111"

 

We had prep time between speeches, but it was very limited. Keri ended up finding some random articles about Tibet, giving them to me, and saying, "Read these." I was like "I don't even know what they say." She was like, "Just trust me. It's about Tibet."

 

So I got up and read some stuff from the articles and tried to bullshit my way through a speech about Tibet even though I literally knew NOTHING about Tibet. After while though, I thought to myself, "hey... I might be doing ok... we might actually look like we know about Tibet right now." However, the whole time the judge in the back of the room was laughing to himself. I wondered, "Why is he laughing...?" But I had to shove those thoughts out of my mind and just keep on going.

 

We finished what ended up being the worst debate round ever in the history of life. The judge was giving us a run-down on how we did and what team he voted for. I don't remember if we won or lost. I do remember the moment he addressed me and said, "By the way, 'Tibetan' is pronounced 'TUH-BET-AN.'"

 

"What?" I responded, not knowing what he was talking about.

 

"You were saying 'TUH-BEESH-AN.'" he clarified.

 

Keri started laughing. I just DIED.

 

My speech had lasted 8 minutes.

 

My speech was entirely about Tibet.

 

I had said the word 'Tibetan' like a thousand times.

 

EACH TIME I said 'Tibetan,' I pronounced it 'tuh-beesh-an.'

 

I had made it abundantly clear that I had no idea what the hell I was talking about. I had tried to fake like I understood the arguments, and the whole time I had made fool of myself.

 

Anyway, Keri told everyone on our debate team about it, and for the rest of my debate career (3 more years), people brought it up over and over again. They would just say things like, "Hey Jenna, how are the TUH-BEESH-ANS doing? Read anything about them lately?"

 

At the time I was so embarrassed, but looking back, it was freaking hilarious.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I just remembered something stupid that happened a couple of years ago! 

 

It was almost Christmas so I was going to school to see the Christmas play and also receive my school report. Before I even got to cross the street, I slipped on our yard and landed butt-first on the frozen ground. The funny thing about that was probably my expression when I made it to school and sat down - oh the pain.

 

It sure seems like Christmas can be a pain in the butt for some people.  :crackle:

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I don't know if this is very funny, but it was one of my few good childhood memories.

 

When I was in middle school football, I hadn't hit my growth spurt, so I was a shrimp. Anyway, my team generally sucked, so we didn't exactly take it very seriously.

 

Our final day of practice before our last game, I brought a bag of Starbursts (stuffed down my pants). During our running drills, I took them out and sprinted. All the guys started chasing me.

 

This one BIG guy catches up after I tripped. Right before he does a belly flop on me, I screamed "NOOOOO!!!" in a high-pitched voice.

 

After that, we were all wrestling in the mud for dropped candies. To end our practice, we chased a bunch of pheasants that had wandered onto the field.

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Just the other day, my cat walked behind my desk fan and farted right into it while it was on.

 

I'm pretty sure the entire fart blew right in my face. The smell almost made me gag.

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On my first job, I was in charge of delivering office mail to several different departments. One day I went into the boss's office, and told him I had some intercourse for him. I froze, and actually started to cry. I had meant to say Inter Office Correspondence. I was mortified. When I get emotional, I tend to stutter. I couldn't even talk after that! I was scared to death he thought I was seriously hitting on him! He was very nice about it, and gave me the rest of the day off. (I even got paid for it!) Yes, this is the same job I mentioned in a thread about doing stupid things. On my very first day there, I accidentally smashed a coffee pot in the break room! Somehow I kept that job for three years, and left on very good terms.

 

:D


Just the other day, my cat walked behind my desk fan and farted right into it while it was on.

 

I'm pretty sure the entire fart blew right in my face. The smell almost made me gag.

I bet you any amount of money that he did it on purpose!

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I've told these stories before, but anyway...

 

My first year of marching band, I played the trumpet. In one of the summer rehearsals, the section leaders had borrowed a marching baritone from the baritone section, and had all of us new members go to set with it and hold it for some amount of time to show us that the trumpet isn't heavy and we need to quit being lazy during set. When it got to me, and I went to set, the mouthpiece came flying out and hit me right in the face. Those things hit hard. T.T

 

Later in the season, when we were headed toward a competition many states away, we had all just gotten our section shirts. I had mine on, and I opened up a Dr. Pepper on the bus. I had no idea that they had been shook up just a little bit too much. It spewed all over my section shirt, and my pillows. So I had to go that tiny bathroom in the back of the bus and change to another shirt, which wasn't our section shirt, and I had to give my pillows back to my parents (this all happened before the bus even left the school) so I didn't have any pillows. >.<

 

We stopped at a rehearsal later that day, and every single individual in the section was wearing their section shirt... Except for me. T.T I remember the band director even commented on the fact that everyone in the section was wearing them and I wanted to die.

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 the time I locked myself out of a hotel room during a trip to Korea,

 

I left the keys inside the room , to make things worse I was only wearing boxers and the reception was in the other building on the other side of the street. I walked the streets with only boxers and a shirt I bought in the gift shop found in the floor below me.I looked like a crazy person and people were staring I had the biggest poker face as I asked for  someone to help me into my room o_o.

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 the time I locked myself out of a hotel room during a trip to Korea,

 

I left the keys inside the room , to make things worse I was only wearing boxers and the reception was in the other building on the other side of the street. I walked the streets with only boxers and a shirt I bought in the gift shop found in the floor below me.I looked like a crazy person and people were staring I had the biggest poker face as I asked for  someone to help me into my room o_o.

 

Lol. I know the feeling. That totally reminds me of another story:

 

It was March, and hailing. I like seeing the weather so I walked out on my back patio (it wasn't dangerous hail), and...shut the door behind me. At the time I was not aware of the fact that the back door locks you out when it is shut. It was several hours until my mom was to come home, and I had a hair appointment, and I was stuck outside in the rain/hail. o.o

 

On top of that I was wearing my house clothes, which totally aren't what I'd ever go in public in. I did not have my phone, nor did I have my keys on me. I did not even have any sort of footwear on, either.

 

After standing around clueless for some matter of time, I, knowing that my aunt and uncle lived right around the corner, climbed my fence, embarrassingly ran over to their house and had my uncle take me to my mom's workplace (not too far away, but not in any kind of walking distance I'd want to take when I was wearing that kind of clothes) and he went in and got a key from her.

 

The hair appointment got canceled. I guess that was one good thing. Also it totally snowed several inches the next day IIRC, it's a good thing I didn't get stuck outside like that, that day!

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Lol. I know the feeling. That totally reminds me of another story:

 

It was March, and hailing. I like seeing the weather so I walked out on my back patio (it wasn't dangerous hail), and...shut the door behind me. At the time I was not aware of the fact that the back door locks you out when it is shut. It was several hours until my mom was to come home, and I had a hair appointment, and I was stuck outside in the rain/hail. o.o

 

On top of that I was wearing my house clothes, which totally aren't what I'd ever go in public in. I did not have my phone, nor did I have my keys on me. I did not even have any sort of footwear on, either.

 

After standing around clueless for some matter of time, I, knowing that my aunt and uncle lived right around the corner, climbed my fence, embarrassingly ran over to their house and had my uncle take me to my mom's workplace (not too far away, but not in any kind of walking distance I'd want to take when I was wearing that kind of clothes) and he went in and got a key from her.

 

The hair appointment got canceled. I guess that was one good thing. Also it totally snowed several inches the next day IIRC, it's a good thing I didn't get stuck outside like that, that day!

Alright, that was quite a story. Good thing noone you knew saw you o_o

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My school has a great iGEM team for those who don't know that is it stands for international genetically engineered machines, held in the MIT, it is mostly for those interested in biology and chemistry. This whole competition is held by MIT for high school students. Obviously the whole organisation is English. Although I have no idea about biology, or chemistry and stuff I was chosen to present the project because my school thought I was the only guy with the required English level (they were right but I don't like arrogance .d) Soooooo eventually I went to MIT all the way from Turkey all my expenses were paid by the school, and uhmm I delivered a presentation to MIT teachers, in MIT classes and stuff, while I had literally no idea what I was talking about, thankfully nopony asked any questions. Best life experience ever.

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