Break Ya Flank (Sonic Re-Boom)

[GuyNamedEarl 1,332]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaVr3skCuPA&feature=youtu.be

 

Hey everypony, I just tried my hoof at rapping and I think it turned out pretty good. If you could give it a listen and tell me what you think that'd be awesome! Thanks!

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Whoa...there's a lot of stuff in here. Gotta work on that diction bro. When you're going through those fast parts, sometimes, I feel you may lose your audience because they won't be able to understand what you're saying. Plus, the lyrics need some work. You were telling too much instead of showing what was going on in this song. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't get a grasp of the theme or what this song was about. It seemed like you were on many tangents with incomplete thoughts. I see you were trying to rhyme too. The thing is, you gotta make sure each line goes with one another. 

 

I'm here if you need help. 

 

Also, did you make the beat?

[GuyNamedEarl 1,332]

Whoa...there's a lot of stuff in here. Gotta work on that diction bro. When you're going through those fast parts, sometimes, I feel you may lose your audience because they won't be able to understand what you're saying. Plus, the lyrics need some work. You were telling too much instead of showing what was going on in this song. As a matter of fact, I really couldn't get a grasp of the theme or what this song was about. It seemed like you were on many tangents with incomplete thoughts. I see you were trying to rhyme too. The thing is, you gotta make sure each line goes with one another. 

 

I'm here if you need help. 

 

Also, did you make the beat?

No, I didn't make the beat. Thanks for the advice. I think I may have went for too much too soon haha.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

No, I didn't make the beat. Thanks for the advice. I think I may have went for too much too soon haha.

I have to agree. When you get diction under your belt, that's when you start taking baby steps. 

[Supremussy 11]

I have to agree. When you get diction under your belt, that's when you start taking baby steps. 

Beat is Break Ya Neck by Busta Rhymes, like MicTheMicrophones Sonic Rhymeboom