Princess Celestia - Equestria's Biggest...

[SBaby 660]

Disclaimer: I have nothing personal against Princess Celestia. She is actually one of my favorite supporting FiM characters, despite being the show's Mary-Sue. Think of this as a sort of science experiment. For SCIENCE!!! But I can guarantee that if she ever got a roast, some of these would show up.

 

Warning: There is language here. Therefore, I have tagged this to be on the safe side. Also, there are some people here that will obviously read into this and criticize it. Those people are missing the point of this post. It's an obvious overanalysis that's all in good fun, and should not be taken too seriously. If anything, this should give you a laugh. Remember, I actually LIKE Princess Celestia as a character.

 

Anyway, without further ado, I present to you...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Princess Celestia - Equestria's Biggest Bitch

 

Princess Celestia Bitchery - Pre-Friendship Is Magic

According to Lauren Faust

 

 

- When Discord attacked Equestria thousands of years ago, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna used the Elements of Harmony for the first time to seal him in his stone prison. Despite knowing there was a chance he could come back, Princess Celestia saw fit to only ever tell Cheerilee about Discord, as evidenced when NONE OF THE MANE 6 knew anything about Discord until she personally told them.

 

- Despite knowing full well that ponies need sleep, she saw fit to milk the ponies of Equestria for every moment of their 'awake' time by keeping the sun in the sky until right before bedtime, thus resulting in Princess Luna's bitterness and eventual transformation into Nightmare Moon.

 

- Princess Celestia was more than eager to separate a young filly she only just met from her parents, without bothering to tell them that she sensed her connection to the Elements of Harmony and that this meant her future would be full of potentially life-threatening situations.

 

 

Princess Celestia Bitchery - Season 1

 

- When Nightmare Moon was sealed in the moon for 1000 years, Princess Celestia didn't bother to mention the little tiny detail that the stars would aid in her escape one day, instead putting all information about it in the castle library which is only accessible to certain ponies, so none of the general public, except Twilight (who brought the book with her to Ponyville), even knew who she was until after the fact. Kind of something you don't just sweep under the rug, you know?

 

- When Twilight tried to talk to Princess Celestia about it, she brushed her off and told her to go make friends instead of looking for the Elements of Harmony, even though (Celestia) knew ahead of time that something bad was about to happen. Ponyville was unprepared for what awaited them as a result.

 

- ...And when all was said and done and Nightmare Moon was defeated, Celestia was ever so eager to jump into the spotlight and take credit, saying she knew all along and it was all her idea, even though Twilight and the others did all the work.

 

- She made six young allegories for pre-teens climb a dangerous mountain to face an ancient red dragon, even though she has a well-trained ARMY at her disposal.

 

- She announced that all of Ponyville would have to get ready for her arrival days in advance. Then she skipped out at the last minute to deal with a problem in another city. Didn't bother to come back to Ponyville and even so much as say, 'Hi' after said problem was fixed.

 

- Twilight is clearly her 'most faithful student', and it is obvious, because Celestia never even so much as MENTIONS her other students. Did they really suck that badly, Princess?

 

- She sees Rarity falling to her death, and doesn't bother to say or do anything, despite it happening right in front of her. She's once again willing to take the spotlight after the situation's resolved.

 

- She forgets to mention that her phoenix likes to play pranks and act dramatic, which leads to a petnapping, accessory to petnapping, and a nation-wide ponyhunt, ultimately leading Fluttershy to be utterly crushed and borderline traumatized when she thinks she killed the Princess' pet. Celestia thinks it's funny afterwards.

 

- She concocts a carefully thought out plan that ultimately causes the annual Gala, the most important social event of the upper class, and the nights of hundreds of ponies to be ruined, just because she was bored.

 

 

Princess Celestia Bitchery - Season 2

 

- She tells the Mane 6 about Discord, and then disappears while he is going around warping Equestria and tormenting the ponies. Never shows up once to help, even on the side. She then teleports all the friendship letters back to Twilight, causing Spike to get sick in the process, instead of - you know - just delivering them or having a soldier deliver them. She only shows up at the end, after everything's fixed. What is she, Citan Uzuki?

 

- She stops Twilight's out of control spell, but doesn't bother to stop Spike's uncontrollable rampage from destroying most of Ponyville and again, almost killing Rarity.

 

- She was nowhere to be found when Cerberus from Tartarus showed up to attack Ponyville. Later in the same episode, we learn that not only did she KNOW Cerberus wasn't in Tartarus, but that she was in the castle the whole time! She'll show up to stop a rampant spell, but not when an ancient demonic dog from Hell ITSELF shows up...

 

- She forgot to mention the little detail that Equestria has been at war with a nation of Changelings for an undetermined amount of time. When it finally comes up and Twilight tries to tell her something is wrong at the wedding, she brushes it off nonchalantly, as if Twilight's a compulsive liar that cries wolf and treats her like a complete stranger. She can't even offer a proper direct apology afterwards, instead disguising it as a friendship lesson.

 

- She keeps the Elements of Harmony sealed behind a big secure door that the Mane 6 can't even get to during said wedding, even though they themselves are the only ones that can use said Elements of Harmony. Canterlot is nearly wiped out as a result.

 

 

I think that covers most of it. That is our Princess, folks. What a BITCH!

 

 

 

Alright, if you all can think of anything else to add to this, feel free to post it. And as before, remember that this is all in good fun.

Edited May 5, 2012 by SBaby

[Nas 2,863]

Meh...I mean yeah, a lot of things like this happen in cartoons and movies, but most of it, if resolved, would make the plot pointless.

 

But, either than that, could be just classic ol' Trollestia.

 

[NavelColt 22,876]

Ooohoho, Trollestria how I love you as my rival <3

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

Ha ha ha ha! Ive never paid attention to all of that! She is the legit Trollmaster of the universe.

[JhonHipster 124]

Sounds like most of it was a conspiracy.

 

Sounds like most of it was a conspiracy.

 

Sounds like most of it was a conspiracy.

[Batbrony 15,994]

Oh my... . Dude, what are you doing, are you high? Dear Lord, don't you know what she'll do if she finds out about...

 

 

...

 

Ummmm... hi Princess Celestia, oh, don't mind me I was just, ummmmm, uhhhhhh...

 

 

What? Oh, you don't want to read that, trust me, it's just some spam, that's all, hehe.

 

 

...

 

Ummmm... Princess, you ok?

 

...

 

 

Oh no, it's not what you think, he didn't mean it, SBaby was just... eh, screw it, I've been sent to the moon too many times as it is. Sorry pal, you're on your own; have a nice trip!

 

[caesar15 231]

Shes just a troll, thats it.

[Marcato 2,143]

This is the very reason that we know and love Celestia as her alter ego, Trollestia. For her acts of cunning, yet cruel evil trolling.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,283]

[Radiance64 7,051]

Wouldn't 'Equestria's Biggest Bitch' actually be one of the Diamond Dogs? :unsure:

[Starshine 16,330]

Welp. Gonna take lots of time to try and debunk all of those points

 

So I'll just use this single sentence: "If Celestia took everything personally and take care of the problems directly, there will be no need for the mane six"

 

She's not a Mary Sue. She's nothing but a figure of (useless) authority and plot device

[caesar15 231]

Welp. Gonna take lots of time to try and debunk all of those points

 

So I'll just use this single sentence: "If Celestia took everything personally and take care of the problems directly, there will be no need for the mane six"

 

She's not a Mary Sue. She's nothing but a figure of (useless) authority and plot device

 

She could have at least done some things.

[Batbrony 15,994]

She could have at least done some things.

 

Oh but she did!! She tried (and epically failed!!!) to defeat Queen Chrysalis!

 

 

Oh don't give me that Celestia, you know it's true!!!!

[Proctra Music 335]

Celestia is the greatest for all that! Haha, she even deliberately ignores catastrophes.

[SBaby 660]

She's not a Mary Sue. She's nothing but a figure of (useless) authority and plot device

 

http://www.ponylandp...com/results.php

 

Yeah, when I did it, I only used things that were seen in the show, and skipped everything else. That's why I didn't put that in spoiler tags. Go ahead. Test her for yourself. She's a Mary-Sue. As I said, that's not necessarily a bad thing. KOS-MOS is a Mary-Sue, and Xenosaga is one of the most well-written video game plots in existence. FiM has good enough writing that this fact isn't really that big of a deal.

Edited May 6, 2012 by SBaby

[Fox 5,330]

I don't know why Celestia kept the Elements of Harmony in an inconvenient place.

[Starshine 16,330]

How can a character be a mary sue with such limited screen time?

[SBaby 660]

How can a character be a mary sue with such limited screen time?

 

She's immortal, she's beautiful, she has no fundamental character flaws, and she's pretty much the most powerful character in the show (as far as we know). She doesn't need to be a central character to be a Mary-Sue. Why is it alright? Because her character is kind of downplayed, and only shows up during critical plot points. But because of this, she becomes a sort of 'Get Out Of Jail Free Card'. Anything can happen and she can just set things back to normal any time, like she did in Lesson Zero.

 

But as I said, it's alright because in this case, FiM has good writing. As a result, it really doesn't hurt the show at all. And don't take it too hard. The Mary-Sue thing wasn't the purpose of my original post. It was just a brief observation.

Edited May 6, 2012 by SBaby

[Aureity 3,055]

If those failed trolls on the internet learned a bit from Princess Celestia, the internet would be a very, very angry place.

[Prince Lightning Da Cute 616]

What you just say about my mom?!

Who are you calling a Bitch!?!

All these can be easily explained because celestia already knows what's going to happen and intervenes when nessary

Edited May 6, 2012 by TagTeamCast

[Future Allie Way 185]

CELESTIAAAAAAAAAA WHY ARE YOU MILKING PONIES

 

jkjk After all, she's 'Celestia just like us'.

[Tiina Brown 67]

Disclaimer: I have nothing personal against Princess Celestia. She is actually one of my favorite supporting FiM characters, despite being the show's Mary-Sue. Think of this as a sort of science experiment. For SCIENCE!!! But I can guarantee that if she ever got a roast, some of these would show up.

 

Warning: There is language here. Therefore, I have tagged this to be on the safe side. Also, there are some people here that will obviously read into this and criticize it. Those people are missing the point of this post. It's an obvious overanalysis that's all in good fun, and should not be taken too seriously. If anything, this should give you a laugh. Remember, I actually LIKE Princess Celestia as a character.

/////////////////////////////////

Alright, if you all can think of anything else to add to this, feel free to post it. And as before, remember that this is all in good fun.

 

First you say ""For science", and then you say that anyone truly analyzing it is missing the point.

I think you miss your own point at that exact moment.

 

First: Celestia is not a Mary-Sue, since she has not the main role, nor does she truly takes the spotlght while trying to pretend she's a normal character.

However, she is an ever-present Deus ex machina, meaning she can seemingly fix anything, that can't be handled by the main characters.

There is a difference between a Mary-Sue and a Deus ex Machina, even though a Mary-Sue may work as a D.e.M., too.

That's why Celestia removed the "get it"-spell Twilight had made, but seemingly not cared about the Cerberus.

 

As for hogging the spotlight, ..... ah, i'll take that perhaps another time ...

 

Oh, by the way, sending a knight with all those letters would have risked 2 things:

1: The knight getting distorted by Discord, the letters would not reach Twi.

2: The letters getting read by Discord after point 1, and him understanding what Celestia was trying to do.

3: The desillusioned Twi not caring about recieving the letters.

[Pencil J. Doodle 242]

... Ok, i have no idea how to defend Celestia...

You bring up some good points in that statement, most of them i didn't even notice the first time when i saw each episode, so i'll just have to agree with you here...

 

... hell, even my OC is a mortal enemy of Celestia's

[SBaby 660]

First you say ""For science", and then you say that anyone truly analyzing it is missing the point.

I think you miss your own point at that exact moment.

 

First: Celestia is not a Mary-Sue, since she has not the main role, nor does she truly takes the spotlght while trying to pretend she's a normal character.

I used a test that is used by Serebii, a site that has some of the highest FanFic standards on the Internet. And she scored a 70, only using things that were in the show. And the 'For Science' thing was just a joke, created by Dr. Insano. Don't worry too much about it.

 

As for the Mary-Sue thing, I feel this topic is being derailed, because I keep having to talk about something that's really not important to the topic. So I'll tell you what. Tell me one real fundamental flaw Celestia has as a character that she has clearly demonstrated that could be construed as a handicap. And being a Princess doesn't count. That actually adds to her Mary-Sue Limitus. Basically, tell me one weakness she has that affects her on a regular basis. If you can do that, then I'll stop calling her a Mary-Sue. But contrary to what you believe, Mary-Sues don't necessarily have to take the spotlight, and indeed being downplayed does make it easier for the show, as I've already said. In fact, it really isn't that big of a deal in this show.

 

Also, I know from experience that finding out that a character you like or one that you made is a Mary-Sue can be a tough pill for some people to swallow. But knowing what is and isn't a Mary-Sue makes people better storywriters in the long run.

 

Regarding the other part of my post, if you have to try and debunk what I said, you're kind of missing the point. This was just meant to be funny, not to be taken seriously. So don't worry too much about it.

Edited May 6, 2012 by SBaby

[Whiteshade 1,426]

Discord, Celestia, and most recently, Luna are MLP's top trolls. I'm fine with that...