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Badly describe the last movie you watched

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  • 11 months later...

The Last Jedi - Spoilers 

Spoiler

 

Space hippies try and skeddadle after Dude Volemort and Space Nazi's tried to evict them. Space Hippies can't go fast because they only use green eco-friendly space gas, but they are in luck because Space Voldemort's people haven't installed the gas pedal because they can't read the instructions. 

Space Severus Snape tries to ask his mommy for KFC, so she steps outside. It's too cold so she says "fuck this shit I'm going back in and going to sleep".

Baby face Lando goes to Las Vegas to attend a Pony Convention and it's so badly run that they wind up fleeing until they find a stuttering Brony who codes websites. A soccer ball gets rich. 

Not Leia goes to the Island of Misfit Toys and gets annoyed with the stuffed bird things and asks her Sasquatch to eat them all. She finds a homeless dude and thinks he's Space Jebus, but he throws her flashlight away because he says he can breathe fire out his left nostril and don't need none of that fancy pants tech. 

Not Leia harasses the homeless dude so he throws her in a hole where she gets wet and multiplies. She gets confused about her parents because reproduction doesn't work that way!

She calls her bae Space Snape on magic Skype and he gets all happy because they have KFC so they start to fall in love, but she is calling from the homeless dudes toilet so he gets mad and says "get off the phone I gotta go" and farts away the bathroom. 

Not Leia is so embarrassed she leaves to go find a better signal to call Space Snape. She decided to just go visit him and surprise him with KFC but Space Voldemort gets in the way creating a weird love triangle. Snape worries that Voldemort will steal his KFC so he distracts him with a half-off sale at the JC Penny. 

A bunch of samurai come to life and almost kill Snape, cause he is weak from hunger. Not Leia plays fruit ninja on them and turns to Snape and gives him his KFC. He asks her to join him for dinner but Not Leia isn't hungry and realizes she left the stove on so leaves.

Baby Lando and the Brony bore everyone so we forget what they did. I don't think it matters anyway. 

Snapes mommy and some girl with a bad Halloween wig decide to break up. Wig girl goes crazy and kicks them off the ship so they need to go to a salt planet. Then the wig gets in her eyes ad she doesn't see the space road and hits another space boat. Her last thought was of her favorite song, The Sound of Silence. 

Snapes mommy goes to a Pokemon infested cave and doesn't have a Master Ball so ... she's screwed. All of a sudden her son, Space Snape shows up because he needs some salt for his KFC. 

Meanwhile Space Jebus is searching for a new bathroom and after taking space drugs he bought from Gollum, he finds himself on the space planet. He starts to relieve himself. This angers Space Snape as it ruins his chicken salt, so he charges Jebus until Space Jebus holds out a huge tub of mashed potatoes. Snape is delighted until Space Jebus disappears with the taters. 

At this point Snapes Mommy leads her team to find a Master Ball because those Pokemon Foxes look cool! She runs into Not Leia who offers her a lift to Nintendo HQ. 

Finally the homeless dude looks out at two sun's and realizes that Gollum gave him bad shit. He can't feel his body anymore. He has a fever dream about a boy with Space Horses using magic on a broom. His last words are "lazy kids"!

 

 

 

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star wars: basically any of them

people try to destroy an evil government using powerful light and magic. that government is trying to do that to everything else.

Edited by memelicious
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