Gabriel C Media - Would They Want Me [Pop]

[Gabriel C Media 6]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwTi2V0C7Ro

 

Hey Ponyverse! finished a new acoustic Pop song that I wanted to share! more info when you click the link!

Edited September 14, 2016 by Gabriel C Media

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Ok...

 

It's an ok listen. You need a lot of work on your vocals. Sometimes you're not hitting your notes on key, which is very essential. Honestly, I do think this song is better sung by a female, since it is about Shimmer. Also, your lyrics came a cross as somewhat cheesy. I see where you're getting at with the idea, but you need to show more versus telling. You basically told everything in the song, and that's the thing that is really putting a damper on your song. Show how Sunset yearns to have people accept her. Show the struggle and the mental fight by using rhetorical writing and vivid description.

 

In terms of the track as far as the instruments, it was well made. You could've expanded a little more on the chords though.

 

All in all, it's a decent track, but you really need to focus on vocals because that's the biggest thing in this track. I'm here if you need any help.

[Gabriel C Media 6]

Thank you for taking the time to listen! . I've got some ideas to help me with my next song, so hopefully it will be better on pitch, since that is very challenging for me right now .

 

As for a female singing the song, I personally don't agree with that at all. I love to sing!

 

As for 'show, don't tell', haha! well, not necessarily. I see where you're coming from. Tangibility definitely is the case in a lot of Theater songs, and maybe some songs depending on the genre. Not so much in Pop music though. I mean, the songs in the show itself are actually a lot like this!  and in a lot of children's media of all kinds, and I honestly enjoy music like this . But I completely understand where you're coming from, and I'd love to practice making my music more tangible (that is, more 'show' and not 'tell), so it definitely will be something I work on.

 

Thank you again!

Edited September 15, 2016 by Gabriel C Media