Widdershin's Interplanar Peanut Gallery

[Widdershins 9,955]

Now, I'm not sure what would this would fall under, as its hardly a story as that requires a coherent thought process and in terms of even applying to Equestria is dubious as its contents are sort of...periphery. This will be more of a self-exercise in the sort of things that accumulate when you have a character that treats such things as the laws of nature as more of a guideline.

 

 

     As Widdershins is an interdimensional traveler, and a rather irresponsible one at that, the "Holes" that he leaves behind can sporadically reopen and some things may wander in or intentionally follow him through. While the portals take a trained (or infected) eye to see & track down, once through it can be pretty easy to tell where Widdershins has visited. His intermittent flippant disregard for other beings' sanity will tend to leave a trail of grudges behind him. To track him down a being would need to hit every world Widdershins did in the same order and have a sufficient enough determination or sheer blind luck to wind up on the same world as where he resides now in Ponyville. Matters are made all the more complicated as the more magical worlds are a lot easier to punch holes into and Equestria happens to be one of the more magical of the worlds he's been to. Three interdimensional holes surround the small city of Ponyville as it just so happens to be built over the major nexus of magical leylines in the land of Equestria. One medium sized one between two oddly warped trees just past the Two Sisters Castle deep in the Everfree (which likely accounts for how scholars have yet to figure out a way to fully catalogue every beast in the forest, as new ones are constantly appearing & disappearing), one small one in an empty field on the opposite side of Ponyville, and one gigantic hole covering most of the town's skyline. While these portals are greatly unstable, they are usually pretty hard to see by a normal eye unless you know how to, or are just used to seeing things while unfocused. While usually too unstable for regular, dependable use the absolute sheer amount of Holes Widdershins has put up over his unaccountably long lifespan & the fact that they'll even tend to redirect themselves without warning will tend to leave mysterious lifeforms stranded in dimensions they ,or the worlds they visit, are unprepared for. In short, if you've ever heard of tales of cryptic, otherworldly creatures or been in a situation that smelled of a bad crossover fanfiction, you would not be remiss in blaming Widders for it!

 

    Think I'll start with the more sentient & intentional of Widdershins' pursuers.

 

   Pirate Captain "Bleakbeak" McQuay and his First (and Only) Mate Mangepatch:

 

   Captain Bleakbeak hails from an aquatic-centered world that revolves around a green sun. The light of its green sun covers their world in a slightly dim light that causes most of its inhabitants to be a bit moody, primal & aggressive. As the light is a bit brighter & easier to stand near the world's many oceans most of its cities have gravitated to becoming port towns, leaving its interior landlocked countries to become essentially untamed wilds. With so many ornery folk gathering on the waterside, piracy has become not only a way of life, but the major source of "trade."

   Bleakbeak McQuay was once the mighty griffon Pirate Captain of the huge, Iron-hulled, leading ship The Busted Shin, and had the huge fleet of countless crew & alcoholism that comes with being a renown pirate. That is, until the fateful day he met & befriended Widdershins.

   One night after having unquestioningly accepted one too many free rounds at a wharf-side bar from Widdershins, he awoke the next afternoon with his "good drinking claw" stolen clean off his body & Widder having skipped dimension on him. After resolutely shoving a peg in the hole where his front right claw used to be, he set sail & swore to track down & blow to bits that "Trait'rus Grae' Grey Worrm!"

   Unfortunately, at the time Bleakbeak had no idea Widdershins was an interdimensional traveler or his method of travel, and spent years in a maddening search for him, eventually his health deteriorating & his crew dwindling down to nothing as they became well aware their Captain no longer cared for not only pirating anymore or for anything else that didn't relate to his revenge. Eventually being reduced to a crotchety, old man on an abandoned boat in the middle of the ocean, McQuay finally had a good stroke of luck while dumping out his eyepatch over the railing. Though his rheumy, diseased and usually covered bad-eye he could see a massive, shining portal hovering just over the oceans surface, and taking his chance, sailed his ship though it and on through the dimensions to continue his mad quest for revenge!

 

   Mangepatch was the only remaining crew member to stay onboard with Bleakbeak McQuay's plot for revenge, though not really though any dint of loyalty. He's just exceptionally lazy and having to actually get up and find a new "Boss" is just far too much work where he's considered. In Mangepatch's home dimension the diamond dogs evolved instead to be more active hunters instead of digging down and harboring their greed for jewels, they grew lankier, taller & and developed their trademark tactic of chasing down their prey & hounding them until they got too tired to fight back. Because of their habit of "wearing down" their prey, Widdershins only refers to his species as "Wear-woofs." Mangepatch is considered large even by the standards of his already muscular & large species; towering in at close to ten feet tall he cuts an incredibly imposing figure. He was quickly kicked out of his pack in his teenage years not because he used his size to bully, but because he refused to help with the hunting & quite literally threw his weight around and leaned on his packmates until they gave up with a sigh and just tossed him their food.

   Mangepatch first met up and joined Bleakbeak's crew as a flagrant & impudent stowaway. He had fallen asleep in broad daylight on one of the rum barrels McQuay made a habit of keeping a steady stock of in his ships. As no one could wake him or hoist his immense carcass off and McQuay would rather die then leave good booze behind, he ordered they just shove the whole mess onto the boat and just make him part of the crew when he woke up. And its a good thing he did too, now days as his ship tends to land on land or other material not conducive to sailing, a good vigorous couple minutes of pecking from McQuay can get Mangepatch's lazy tail up to crawl off the ship and hoist the boat around with his monstrous strength like it was another piece of luggage. Though not for too long, as Mangepatch tends to not go for more then ten to fifteen minutes at a time without falling down for a nap, regardless of whether he's carrying an entire ship at the time or not.

 

 

    Maybe I'll get more into a detailed description of them later when I throw them up on the rp character lists.

 

  Sir Gacious Fume of the Interstatial Law Firm of Fume, Crush & Dampen:

 

    When you disregard such things as societal norms, proper etiquette & physics as often as Widdershins does you tend to collect enemies & large legal reparations. Dimension hopping takes alot of getting used to, the rules always change, you pick the wrong side to work for, you pick something off the ground for a snack and wind up dooming an entire hivemind race, it stands to reason that after long enough a lot of voices start crying out for you to pay for what you've done one way or another. And with those accusations thrown, it summons a universal evil. Lawyers.

     That's just what the Interstatial Law Firm specializes in. Tracking down those who think they can ditch their subpoenas, court costs & legal responsibilities and hide in another dimension just because the "rules" are different there. As each of the three partners are made entirely out of simple chemical bonds that represent the states of matter, they use this to better flip though the dimensions & yet remain stable, but unstable enough to pass unheeded though most matter in whatever dimension they hunt their "clients" down to & coerce them into an agreed upon interdimensional court before they have time to flee.

   Gacious (Gah-SHE-uhz) is made entirely out of what he calls the most noblest of gasses, Helium. While a good strong gale can scatter him, he easily reforms from any blow & can leech his way though any wall or obstacle between him & hunting his mark down to get them in court, and subsequently, his lawyer fees. As an accidental, side power Gacious does tend to get inhaled by passing organic creatures and for a few hours before he is fully exhaled out he can "legally commandeer native resources for intent to apprehend via peaceful negotiations of assimilated second-hand culture acquisition." This also happens to be a trait he shares with his colleague, Mr.Moist B. Dampen but to a much more awkward & messy result.

   Sir Gacious Fume considers himself a protector of the downtrodden & put-upon and a champion of your right to the money you have so clearly earned from your hardships. Though judging by his aggressive self-marketing he wants as many vict-  clients that he can defend. 

   All three partners in the law firm are in constant argument as to what order their names should appear on their promotional material & signs, usually between Sir Fume and Prosecutor RumbleCrush and as he's rather spineless Mr.Moist's name usually winds up last. There does happen to be a fourth partner in their law firm, but he's rarely met and generally considered to be unstable.

 

 

   Heather Trunter, Treasure Hunter:

 

       Heather hails from a a dimension not unlike Equestria. One major difference is its dim, brown sun. Their world is awash in varying shades of sepia tones that tends to weigh heavily on one's mental state enough for crime to be easily considered as an outlet in this world. Though as the sun is just bright enough to color the shadows as well, a life of subterfuge takes on an air of theatrical suspense.

   Heather Trunter is a freelance archaeologist that is often hired out to procure artifacts & other ancient items for her clientele, usually without too many questions asked. While she typically doesn't care to what ends you use the things she's ordered to fetch, she has had to frequently "repossess" them as hostile planet-wide takeovers & apocalypses would seriously crimp her business.

   On one mission she came across an ancient civilization that worshiped Widdershins as a god (as tends to happen when your a giant serpent-like creature with vague, inexplicable powers) and discovered a magical amulet & an unusually stable portal that Widdershins had used to escape when the natives started getting a bit too ritualistic. The knowledge of both of these items she kept a secret, using the portal to easily obtain mundane items from alternate dimensions & bring them back home to sell to scholars who enjoy stumping themselves with things they can't comprehend. 

   The amulet she found was likely meant to emulate the long, boneless form of their "god" by allowing its wearer to stretch beyond their physical limitations. While she uses it to escape last ditch dire situations, its power is unstable due to its age & having been made by jungle dwellers. If used more then once a month it can begin to take a dangerous toll on her bone density and so Heather can often be found chugging milk, spinach or iron pills in an attempt to counter its side effects.

   Though aside from this, Heather has always been an athletic & flexible mare of a rather gymnastic build. With a light tan coat, and a long, blond mane usually done in a ponytail to match her equally tied actual pony tail. As is most ponies from her dimension, she's rather tall & leggy as well.

"That belongs in the hooves of a paying customer!"

"Archaeology isn't entirely about the adventure, there's still bills to pay after all."

 

 

Just a few odds and ends I felt didn't count enough to put over in the rp lists. Since they weren't entirely characters in their own right. Will likely come back to this after a while with another chapter on the more beastly & unnameable horrors that have fallen on Ponyville due to Widdy's negligence.

 

[Widdershins 9,955]

   Well, was going to plan this out first, but my creativity does not work that way. So, in only rough order, On with the bestiary!

 

 

   Mumbles, Minor Sound Elemental:

 

   To describe a sound elemental is kind of hard to do. As Mumbles is made from semi-solid sound substance it appears to be formed out of a transparent cone of wind, constantly spiraling around. While lacking any discernible limbs, this cone is topped by a tiny, triangular, almost raptor-like skull.

     There's no real telling where Mumbles came from. As intangible as it is it could have just as likely leeched through the interdimensional barriers entirely of its own will. Though really, will is something debatable in elementals. Like most elementals, especially smaller ones like the sort Mumbles is, they thrive mostly on spreading their corresponding element & depending on that element, they may seem a bit more... evil then other elementals.

   Mumbles isn't uninheritedly evil. Its just doing what it considers what it was created to do, make more noise! It just happens that its eardrum-bursting shrieks tend to cause ponies to scream in pain & thereby make yet even more noise. While Mumbles doesn't... outright... directly harm anypony, it can often be found sprinting impishly around town blowing out store windows, shattering glass & otherwise stunning anybeing with unprotected ears.

    While Widdershins can't quite recall where he read the story from, he does seem to remember a much, much, much, much larger version that Mumbles may have splintered off from that had a history for getting so loud it reverberated an entire planet out of of existence.  It might be wise to catch Mumbles before it starts feeding on too much sound energy to bolster its form & power, though how you can catch sound we really can't say. Why, you'd need somepony that not only was deaf, but used to alot of reverberation and had some sort of massive, sound-recording device.

       "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee-shreeeeeeee-breeeeeeeeeeeeee-Hronk!"

 

 

    Well, as long as we're on the topic of sound, let me introduce:

        Rockmie Amidayus, The Musical Specter:

   Some time long since past, Rockmie Amidayus used to be a well-known conductor, musician & singer in one of the very many countless human alternate dimensions Widdershin has spun through. Trouble is though that Mr. Amidayus was a perfectionist. As he grew older he heard his flawless masterpieces constantly reused, resang, rehashed and beaten to death as jingles for commercials. It was a lifelong battle for him to keep inventing newer & better classical music just to outweigh the death of his older songs. Music wasn't just his job, but his literal lifeblood. As he grew older he became more bitter about sharing his music, convinced that not only did no one else deserve to play his masterpieces but no mortal ear was even worthy to listen. In his last days he shunned & shouted away anyone and anything that didn't relate to his music and spent every moment at his massive horde of instruments attempting to create a song so impactful and pefect that it wouldn't be restrained by mere physical limitations. When relatives became worried after no sign from him or any sign of food being delivered to him nor any sign of life in his house they came in, searched his house and failed to find any body at all. Nor did they find any sign of a struggle, and even more oddly no sign of what had happened to his huge collection of musical instruments that had previously blanketed his house. Even after local inquiry no word was heard of any robberies or any other living being having gotten anywhere close to his house.

   Rumors abound around natives of the countryside where he once lived that the great Composer finally got his lifelong wish. That he had somehow managed from dint of pure intention... to become a being of pure music. And they have no idea how right they are.

 

   Like Mumbles, there's no telling how the ghost Mr. Amidayus managed to wind its way through the dimensions, but sufficed to say that ghosts likely aren't bound to form or reality. After having crossed the realms the ghost seems to have found a huge, tumbling-down old castle to haunt where he glides through the ever darkened hallways glaring at trespassing ponies with the scorn of his musical greed, daring their unworthy ears to open themselves to his final masterpiece.

    As a ghost, most of Rockmie Amidayus's human shape has degraded beyond recognition, all that is left atop the amorphous cone of his ethereal body is his large face set in a permanent, disapproving scowl & framed by a writhing mass of white hair around a shining bald spot. No longer capable, or even willing to speak, Amidayus responds to most any impertinent mortals by using his arsenal of sound. With a wave of his conductors baton he can summon enough concussive sound to blow you into a wall until your flesh starts reverberating off your bones or an army of his ghostly instruments that can blugeon as well as anything real.

       One thing is very clear about the ghosts intentions. Only the dead are worthy to listen.

 

 

    A Kirinean Laserdon:

      It's actually not all that common to find planets when dimension-hopping that are all one ecosystem or some such. One such place Widdershins visited and spent a rather nice time in had a country very much like Equestria, but instead of ponies the majority of their populace was comprised of a race of dragon-ponies that referred to themselves as Kirins. While it was quite a long while ago & he doesn't fully remember what he did there, he does remember the land of Kirinea as rather peaceful, magical and even more colorfully pastel than even Equestria! There was however, one souvenir that happened to follow Widdershins through...

    It does happen to be practice in Kirinea to form these magical constructs to light the pathways of their nation that is ever-shrouded in a hazy, perpetual twilight. There is a species not far removed from the Parasprites of Equestria that instead of being an all-devouring swarm, instead feed only off of light and as such glow like little bundles of light through the slight swamps that blanket the land of Kirinea. What the kirins do, is catch these little whisps in a magical net to serve as a makeshift lantern. Since these bugs only need moderate amounts of light to stay alive, they can live for months at a time in captivity. These bulging sacks of light are then affixed to the underside of a wide-ended, metal beam with a hollow inner passage that leads up to the thinner end that ends in a small lantern "face." The little Whisprites are free to travel to that end at will or back to the bag. This set up of a rather spoon-like "body" with a wider, heavier end causes the Lantern Face to stay upright at a height just over the head of most of Kirinean's residents. Over this body then is attached two U-shaped metal beams that point downward to serve as "legs" for the whole contraption. All together this comes out looking like an odd mixture of a Lantern-faced, giraffe-necked, metal water-strider.

   Oddly enough, the combination of the slight animation magic to give the construct enough sentience to move with the life-force magic of the Whisprites gives the whole construct an almost rudimentary intelligence. Just enough for it to blindly follow whatever moves in order for it to supply a sort of walking streetlamp. Unfortunately, it seems one of these followed Widdershins blindly through and now stalks the Everfree ignorantly lighting the path of the owlbears & cragadiles of the forest.

    As odd as these constructs may seem, they do have a bit of other-worldly beauty to them. As one Kirinean poem-song goes:

        "Its body burns a gem-like flame.

   Somewhere between a soul & soft machine.

They tend to rest by roadsides, where they can find you a-gain.

Kirinean Laserdons go down the roads that you must travel.

Kirinean Laserdons through the darkness of the night.

Kirinean Laserdons will follow where you go.

Kirinean Laserdons put the highway in the light!"

 

 

   Barkthanon Quai, Flamedog Primus:

 

      Barkthanon comes from a very special breed of life from a planet with a black sun. Now its home sun seems to produce just enough heat & energy to grant is planets life, but not enough to give any of that life any light to see by. Barkthanon's home world is an acrid, inhospitable, volcanic realm where life revolves around using light more as a weapon then a source. Anything closer to what most mortals view as life clusters around the fiery vents around the volcanoes there, while the bigger creatures roam about in the pitch dark using their own luminescence or capability to harness fire. Any being that does dare to mimic the light that spews from their world's volcanoes does so to either to draw a mate or to stun its prey. There, light is a death-sentence, for eyes not evolved to take flashes of light the eruptions from a Flamedog's back either stun long enough to be torn to shreds or are outright roasted for dinner while still alive. In summary, for those less inclined to stretch their imaginations a Flamedog is a more fiery version of Equestria's native Timberwolves.

    In most cases of creature displacement, there can be issues with breathing a new atmosphere or such. As a Flamedog is chiefly an elemental, all Barkthanon Quai needs is flammable sustenance. Equestria sure does supply alot of that.

 

     Barkthanon Quai towers in at a 7-foot fighting stance. With a hollow, charcoal-black body with tall, black spires rising from the three open portals on either side of its body that open on its back to let jets of lame, to say a Flamedog is canine would be stretching the comparison further than just its overall shape. While the charcoal canid skull can be quite the terrifying visage, a Flamedog Primus is a mostly peaceful sort given its lack of a need to hunt. While it may need to go out of its way on its homeworld to find burnable sources, a Flamedog need only wait for its food. Its prey is often caught unawares and lasts its predator a long while. Even more fortunate for Barkthanon especially, is that since coming to Equestria its never had to reach further then a foot around it to find fuel. Perhaps because of this too, the natural reproduction of a Flamedog has sped up quite a bit. The more fire a Flamedog has within it, more embers leap out of the holes on its side to form into tinier versions called Emberpups. Barkthanon Quai is rarely found without a small herd of Emberpups yipping around its massive ankles to fetch it more burnable sustenance or accidently setting things on fire with their little lava pools. Oddly enough, Emberpups are a lot less intimidating. Most of them come out looking like chihuahua or corgi pups made entirely out of lava.

 

    Barkthanon Quai may not be entirely untameable, but given that its internal temperature is so high that touching its hide may burst things into flame in addition to its Emberpups spreading fire to its surroundings it poses a great threat to such a flammable new world. If its any comfort, Barkthanon Quai doesn't hold any hostile intentions, just... that to Barkthanon Quai, Flamedog Primus... You're either part of its pack, or a fuel source. Kin or Kindling.

 

 

  Shinwither, The Llama of Entropy:

Every being, no matter how nonsensical or absurd it already is, has out there an opposite. One may meet a doppelganger in their own time & world, but when one starts discovering new dimensions one learns that there are ever more interpretations of yourself out there. Shinwither does not count.

   Shinwither comes from the space between spaces, the blackness of space, that blank area of existence between dimensions. Shinwither is the anti-thesis to Widdershins. While Widdy is rather intangible himself, Shinny is always in direct opposition of his surroundings. In fact, he leeches life & vitality from anything near him. Shinwither is quite as literally put a llama made out of anti-matter. Anything around him starts losing any semblence of character, creativity, willpower, or even visible color. His movements (if he moves that is) can be tracked by whole tracks of land just drained & left looking like a charcoal pencil-sketch, any living creatures in his wake are left limp & listless.

    Widdershins actively fears Shinwither. (Though really, he's still down there below Monkies, symmetry and waffles.) He makes a point of warning whenever it comes up that simply by mentioning Shinwither's name three times in quick succession will summon him to you. But none of that is the worst part of the being that Shinwither is.          He simply. Does not. Care.

 

    Shinwither makes a point of not caring. About anything. Ever. Steadfastly neutral in all situations or responses, he refuses to hold an opinion, emotion or feeling about any one thing. For the most part, he just stands stock still, chewing whatever antimatter cud he somehow always manages to have and just sits there uncaring while the antimatter his body is composed of slowly infects the world around him, turning it into a drab world of bland emotion and uncaring, dull refusal of growth or originality.

    In short, when you summon forth Shinwither, you put a cancerous blight upon your world, that has no discernible method of remedy.

 

Moving on then!

 

 The Groosham:

   Remember earlier how I mentioned that giant portal right above Ponyville? Well, one of the realms on the otherside happens to be an entirely aquatic planet. A world that only holds its watery shape due to the extremely dense gravitational core. As most can tell you, the ocean is well known for producing alot of massive creatures, on a world entirely comprised of depths, its a cinch that there would be even bigger ones there. Sure would be a great shame if some massive kraken somehow managed to slip through that giant portal right ontop of the tiny town of Ponyville, wouldn't it?

 

    The Groosham is just such a kraken. Though, for the most part it doesn't look quite as squid-like as one tends to think of these things. Under its rather rigid, jellyfish-like bell of a body, there extends from its center some sort of fleshy trunk. While this doesn't seem to serve any purpose on its landless homeworld, once it lands on Equestria's earth and unveils its miles of tentacles from its bell it does give it a rather tree-like semblance. Rather impossibly immense its 60-foot body blots out the sky, fully capable of ensnaring any pegusai that try to get airborne. On the bright side, it does seem to lack any sort of digestive track other then its countless folds & frills on the underside of its bell, so anypony captured can be easily pulled back out with only minor damage and an intense case of the Willies. In fact, upon seeing it Widdershins does like to loudly exclaim that:

               "Maybe its FRIENDLY!!!"

 

 

 

     Maybe you're worried by now. Last time I mentioned "unnameable horrors" and I only seem to be getting progressively more... skivvy. So what can top a 60-foot kraken? Well... Widdershins did make some "friends" back when he visited what he calls "The Tentacle Dimension."

 

 

   K'thn'pthqnn:

(Or as closely as you mortals can get with your pitiful mouths that only have one tongue to pronounce things: Kit-Ten Poo.       No...no, your doing it wrong, here click your tongue more and chew your cheek a bit while sucking on a molar....)

  

    K'thn"pthqnn is a being beyond comprehension. His visage alone can drive most who have the misfortune of coming into his gaze into gibbering, drooling madness. Most depictions of him show him as the body of a decently muscular human with lavender-skin, topped by an immense head not unlike a jellyfish encircled by huge, disc-like pupil-less eyes with its huge tentacles trailing down the "body" enshrouding it from view. It rules its realm with a gelatinous iron fist with its many eyes forever looking out for a hole in the fabric of realities for new realms to conquer under its reign of insanity.

    It can be assumed that Widdershins's time in its dimension can be shown by the large patches of homicidal insanity in Widdershin's oft purposefully ignored history. However, as Widdy is quick to point out, he IS immortal after all, and there's only so far insanity goes when you can't drive a guy to kill himself. Over time it seemed like Widdershins somehow built up an immunity to Kitten Poo's (No...no, your doing it wrong it's actually...) and started treating the Ancient One like a drinking buddy, much to the being's literal everlasting annoyance. In fact, the only reason Widdershins left that dimension is because he was directly kicked out. Kitten Poo (There you go again, it's...) may brag about its immortality & powers, but the one thing it fears is having to put up with having to listen to more of Widdershins inane, nonsensical babbling. It never wanted to have to deal with the insanity it caused.