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Summer Breeze - Canterlot (feat. Dash-N)


Dash-N

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Ok.

 

It's a decent song. However, your background could use quite a bit of variance. It stales out after only a short period of time. Some fill-ins and changing basslines would work to improve variance. Also, some guitar licks would work too. In terms of vocals, they were ok. The singer unfortunately sounded a little whiney, which is sort of frowned upon in the singing community. I like the vocal slides though. Gave the vocals more expression. Also, the singer was flat on some of her notes. 

 

As far as your lyrics...I unfortunately have to say they were cheesy. You were telling too much by having the pony (I think it was Rarity or a rich pony) just gloat about herself. Show how glamorous she is by using some rhetorical language. Also, the profanity I unfortunately have to say was unnecessary. It may sound good to you, but not for others, especially if you're singing in 2nd person point of view, aiming it at someone. Instead, you can say something like this:

 

...Leave or stay but

Greatness I'm coming your way

 

The way I wrote above still gets a point about reaching higher, but doesn't have to be explicit. 

 

All in all, decent, but it needs work, especially in the writing. PM me if you need any help. I'm always here. 

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I like the instrumental. The singing was good too. Quality could of been a bit better in the singing but it's your song, maybe you wanted it that way. Thanks for the share. 

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