Lord Senvious parents rework / rewrite

[Props Valroa 25,959]

High Queen servia is his mom, she is an alicorn, black coat, and has a white crystal as her cutie mark, her mane glints like snow and has slit red eyes. She is somewhat insane.

 

High King Viakor is his dad, he is also an alicorn, has a white coat and has a black sword through the planet as his cutie mark, his mane is blue and he has blue eyes and is stern and emotionless.

 

I would like opinion's on these 2 characters, I have someone saying they are props for Lord Senvious, have a horrible color scheme, too edgy and stuff like that... so what do you think of these 2, what would you change?

[chaosprincess 1,064]

I think they sound fine as characters there's always going to be haters out there not everybody is going to agree with your design for character(s) especially when it comes to alicorns a lot of people seem to not like alicorn ocs from what I've seen just don't make them into a mary sue or a Gary stu due to a character(s) that are perfect in every way is a tad boring, but in the end all that matters is that you like the designs.

 

I don't know much of their backstory of the parents so can't really say anything on that.

[AriaTheLovely 578]

I think their fine I have definitely seen worse alicorn oc's. So don't worry about what others say as long as you like the OC and from what I see both characters are not to trite.

Edited January 17, 2017 by PrincessOfCompassion

[Props Valroa 25,959]

I think they sound fine as characters there's always going to be haters out there not everybody is going to agree with your design for character(s) especially when it comes to alicorns a lot of people seem to not like alicorn ocs from what I've seen just don't make them into a mary sue or a Gary stu due to a character(s) that are perfect in every way is a tad boring, but in the end all that matters is that you like the designs.

 

I don't know much of their backstory of the parents so can't really say anything on that.

Well to me the looks can be better but I literally have no idea what to do, Servia's cutie mark is just a placeholder until someone or me thinks of something better.

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Well to me the looks can be better but I literally have no idea what to do, Servia's cutie mark is just a placeholder until someone or me thinks of something better.

Crystals are simple cutie marks and easier to draw lol, but let's see what is her talent besides being a queen? given a little more personality detail maybe I can help so far all I know is she is a tad crazy and evil what made her become crazy and evil? a good backstory could help create a better cutie mark that you maybe more satisfied with.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

Crystals are simple cutie marks and easier to draw lol, but let's see what is her talent besides being a queen? given a little more personality detail maybe I can help so far all I know is she is a tad crazy and evil what made her become crazy and evil? a good backstory could help create a better cutie mark that you maybe more satisfied with.

Hmm.... Well she thinks she is perfect and she is loving very rarely.... She was shunned by the world when she was a tad younger and wanted to get back at those who shunned her. 

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Hmm.... Well she thinks she is perfect and she is loving very rarely.... She was shunned by the world when she was a tad younger and wanted to get back at those who shunned her. 

So revenge plays a big role when it comes to her character so something with a blade would be a good start or even a spider they are symbols of betrayal due to the black widow allows the male to mate with her, but then she suddenly turns on him very few escape or another idea could be a sword going through a heart and have some blood dripping or even a mask a mask can hide somebody's true intentions since their face is hidden.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

So revenge plays a big role when it comes to her character so something with a blade would be a good start or even a spider they are symbols of betrayal due to the black widow allows the male to mate with her, but then she suddenly turns on him very few escape or another idea could be a sword going through a heart and have some blood dripping or even a mask a mask can hide somebody's true intentions since their face is hidden.

Makes alot of sense. I like the sword going through the heart the best. Now for Viakor he is an experienced fighter, and got rid of the emotions which in his view made him weak. Hes since winded down from fighting. He has a sort of affection for Servia but he hides it. Servia doesn't really like him but won't go to the point of killing him, wounding him, maybe.

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Makes alot of sense. I like the sword going through the heart the best. Now for Viakor he is an experienced fighter, and got rid of the emotions which in his view made him weak. Hes since winded down from fighting. He has a sort of affection for Servia but he hides it. Servia doesn't really like him but won't go to the point of killing him, wounding him, maybe.

So he is based off of uncertainty he knows what he wants, but hesitates knowing it could be his downfall and allow others to hurt him and his heart is his biggest betrayal since love plays a part, but his hesitation and fears of opening up causes him to suppress his emotions so let's see he is a toughie, but one thing that comes to mind is a heart with 2 swords crossing piercing the heart from each side and hmm that's all I've got for him, but if any ideas come to mind for his cutie mark I will post them.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

So he is based off of uncertainty he knows what he wants, but hesitates knowing it could be his downfall and allow others to hurt him and his heart is his biggest betrayal since love plays a part, but his hesitation and fears of opening up causes him to suppress his emotions so let's see he is a toughie, but one thing that comes to mind is a heart with 2 swords crossing piercing the heart from each side and hmm that's all I've got for him, but if any ideas come to mind for his cutie mark I will post them.

Alright... but their cutie marks are kinda too similar. And since Lord Senvious is a Storm creating Alicorn, I think they should have some sort of connection to weather

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Alright... but their cutie marks are kinda too similar. And since Lord Senvious is a Storm creating Alicorn, I think they should have some sort of connection to weather

Hmm let's see weather base marks well the father could be the one with the weather based since the mothers story does not really go with storms so let's see Senvious has a tornado as his mark so the father could have a storm cloud in the center with a lightning bolt striking down with 2 swords crossing since he is a good fighter , but is uncertain as a storm is since you don't know when it will strike or what it will destroy or it could be just storm clouds.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

Hmm let's see weather base marks well the father could be the one with the weather based since the mothers story does not really go with storms so let's see Senvious has a tornado as his mark so the father could have a storm cloud in the center with a lightning bolt striking down with 2 swords crossing since he is a good fighter , but is uncertain as a storm is since you don't know when it will strike or what it will destroy or it could be just storm clouds.

Great! Seems good, I like it

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Great! Seems good, I like it

Their just ideas so you don't have to use them its just ideas thrown out there I myself am not good with cutie mark ideas lol my first oc Chaos went months without a cutie mark, but she has one now it only took months to give her one.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

Their just ideas so you don't have to use them its just ideas thrown out there I myself am not good with cutie mark ideas lol my first oc Chaos went months without a cutie mark, but she has one now it only took months to give her one.

I will use them. But I would say the mother's is sorta lacking, hmm....

[chaosprincess 1,064]

I will use them. But I would say the mother's is sorta lacking, hmm....

Hmm well for now I say leave the mothers as a crystal until your 100% sure on hers I say the same for the father don't change the cutie marks until you feel their perfect I gave my oc her cutie mark in 2015, but it took me a while just to come up with the idea so what did you have in mind for her? I know she wants revenge due to betrayal in her life and if you want it to be weather based hers could be a storm cloud with snow flakes falling the winter is very harsh and unforgiving or it could be icicles falling or going through something. 

[Props Valroa 25,959]

Hmm well for now I say leave the mothers as a crystal until your 100% sure on hers I say the same for the father don't change the cutie marks until you feel their perfect I gave my oc her cutie mark in 2015, but it took me a while just to come up with the idea so what did you have in mind for her? I know she wants revenge due to betrayal in her life and if you want it to be weather based hers could be a storm cloud with snow flakes falling the winter is very harsh and unforgiving or it could be icicles falling or going through something. 

Oh yeah... I love that idea. Great

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Oh yeah... I love that idea. Great

You do know you don't have to use my ideas right? I'm not forcing you to use them I'm just trying to help so you can wait until other people respond and look through their suggestions because somebody else might have a way better idea then mine so wait until more people respond and see if they have better ideas so that way you have a variety of ideas to look through.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

You do know you don't have to use my ideas right? I'm not forcing you to use them I'm just trying to help so you can wait until other people respond and look through their suggestions because somebody else might have a way better idea then mine so wait until more people respond and see if they have better ideas so that way you have a variety of ideas to look through.

Alright, but they are still up at the top since everything else I thought of didn't really make sense or it generally sucked and was a placeholder

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Alright, but they are still up at the top since everything else I thought of didn't really make sense or it generally sucked and was a placeholder

That's fine its just good to have variety my cousin helped me with some of the ideas that were thrown out there we talked about ideas so it was tossed back and fourth and trust me I know how hard cutie marks can be to come up with.

[AriaTheLovely 578]

I came up with the dads cutie mark.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

That's fine its just good to have variety my cousin helped me with some of the ideas that were thrown out there we talked about ideas so it was tossed back and fourth and trust me I know how hard cutie marks can be to come up with.

Hmm, your cousin and you have good ideas.

I came up with the dads cutie mark.

Show it please?

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Hmm, your cousin and you have good ideas.

Show it please?

I'll tell you what my cousin and I will both draw out the parents we have different styles so you'll be able to show them in different ways and we'll add the cutie marks that you like just let me know what cutie mark you liked for the mother.

Edited January 17, 2017 by chaosprincess

[Props Valroa 25,959]

I'll tell you what my cousin and I will both draw out the parents we have different styles so you'll be able to show them in different way and we'll add the cutie marks that you like just let me know what cutie mark you liked for the mother.

Alright thank you very much, and thanks to your cousin. I liked the snowcloud one for the mother.

[chaosprincess 1,064]

Alright thank you very much, and thanks to your cousin. I liked the snowcloud one for the mother.

Sounds good and I will still be drawing the son he's going to be a different sketch from the parents and sorry if I'm a bother at all if I ever get annoying don't hesitate to let me know.

[Props Valroa 25,959]

Sounds good and I will still be drawing the son he's going to be a different sketch from the parents and sorry if I'm a bother at all if I ever get annoying don't hesitate to let me know.

Your not annoying.    And thats fine