Through the best and worst of times...

[Critical Thought 12]

My Favourite Mane 6 Pony: Rarity

How did you find MLP Forums?: Google search

How you became a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: My otaku friend told me it was a good show and I laughed at him like any sane person would, but when I got home and watched it...I felt like I had found my home.

Hello everypony! I am Critical Thought and welcome to my review of...myself!

 

Currently, I do episode reviews and show/community analysis on YouTube. It wasn't always that way though.

 

Let me take you back to 2011...

 

At the time, I was just a lowly rapper not getting anywhere due to refusing to brag about how much weed I smoked (which as none), how many girls I banged (which was under 5), and how much expensive swag I owned (which was also none). That's when I was introduced to MLP by my otaku friend Jackson who told me it was a good show, and showed me some YouTube Poops with MLP characters to get me interested. That day, I went home and watched the first few episodes and I was hooked and knew I was a brony. I felt so attuned with this show, its messages and its community, that I formed my own religion based on it called Celestiaism where I praised the royal family as my gods. Cringy, I know, but this would come in handly later.

 

Later, I noticed a certain rapper getting really popular in my small alternative high school that had a class of under 25 people. His name was Tyler, The Creator, and I found his lyrics to be quite appalling. I mean, I'm not that opposed to graphic media, but this one artist took things a little too far for my liking. However, in my school he was getting really popular and I felt that resonate across the entire internet. Everyone loved this guy and his outlandishly disturbing music. His personality was the polar opposite of mine, but upon seeing the massive rise in fame he was acquiring through sheer shock value, I decided to try and give my music a horrorcore spin as well. Stop being so friendly and artistic. Stop being so inspiring and uplifiting. I needed to start being violent, cruel, disturbing, if I was to get anywhere in this modern era of rap music. I thought to myself "If brutality is what the kids wanna hear these days, that's what I gotta give them." It went against everything I stood for, but I was desperate. I wanted people to know my name.

 

My next album that I released that fall was full of gory and graphic imagery. I put my all into digging into the deepest, darkest parts of my psyche to craft these abominations of lyricism. No subject was too taboo or risque. I would share them here, but I fear getting banned simply for mentioning them. Somehow, when doing rap this way, I noticed my lyricism improved. My skill somehow got better, and that gave me hope that I could make it. I released the album online to the few fans that I did have to little fanfare. I wholly expected a public outrage at my lyrics but I surprisingly didn't get it. I commended everyone for being chill about the lyrics and not taking them too seriously, though. After all, it was just art. I never intended to commit the horrific acts I spoke of. I just wanted the attention.

 

A couple days later, I was sitting at my desk in my small English class of about 2 or 3 students. One by one the students were plucked from that class and sent to the principals office. Eventually, the teacher got a phone call and left too, leaving me alone in the room, casually doing my schoolwork. Later, one of the head teachers came into room to tell me someone was here to talk to me. I assumed it had something to do with re-evaluating my special education plan, since other students at the time were doing it and I hadn't been called yet. I figured it would be an uneventful meeting filled with boring bureaucracy and paperwork, and looking back on it now...I wish it was that. Several minutes later, a tall older gentleman I had never seen before with a gray beard and a 20-something brunette behind him came in the room. Before I even had a chance to greet them, the older gentleman grabbed my arm and put a pair of handcuffs on my wrist. "You are under arrest." he told me. I was completely blindsided. I was escorted out of the room and into the main hallway where I saw two fully militarized SWAT members armed with M-16s standing at the entrance. As I was being escorted out of the building, I looked back to see my school bully, Cody, walking back to class after getting a drink of water. He laughed at my situation. At first, I was cocky. I knew why they were there and I embraced the situation thinking to myself, "YES! I've done it! I've offended someone so much that now I must be put on trial for my art." I was placed into the back of an unmarked cruiser and driven to the police station to be booked. On the ride over, I joked with the officers playfully, thinking I wasn't going to lose this. I had the first amendment on my side...or so I thought.

 

That all changed when I was placed into the interrogation room and given the bad cop/slightly less bad cop treatment. One of my songs, the one that caught everyone's attention, was about a school shooting. One I had no intention of committing but was really just a way for me to have some closure against the bullies who had tormented me throughout my time at my more traditional high school. Nevertheless, names were named, and in retrospective maybe that was too far. After my booking where I used my one phone call to call my father, balling my eyes out, begging for help, I was fed a measly meal of a peanut butter sandwich and a can of Diet Coke and soon I was off to meet the judge. My father and grandmother were there as I was escorted into the courtroom, we shared the same look of horror on all three of our faces. I was given a public defender and a choice: Spend 1 year in prison or 3 years on probation. Despite the shorter sentence, I knew I wouldn't last in prison. I was scrawny and I knew I'd made into another prisoners plaything in under 48 hours. I wouldn't return the same. I may not even return at all.

 

I took the 3 years probation which also included 6 months on house arrest. For once in my life, however, I had never been so glad to be a scrawny little weakling. Normally, since I was 17 at the time, I was supposed to be treated by an adult by the legal system. This meant that for my house arrest, I would have needed to use the adult house arrest bracelet which administers a painful electric shock if you break the rules of your house arrest. Luckily, though, due to my small stature and low BMI or Body Mass Index, the court decided that outfitting me with the adult bracelet might seriously injure me or even kill me, so they instead opted to outfit me with the one for juvenile offenders which merely vibrates when house arrest rules are broken.

 

Unfortunately, being an adult court, they didn't have any of those bracelets in stock to give me, so they had to order one from the juvenile court a few towns over. I had no other choice but to spend the night in prison while they waited for the bracelet to arrive the next day. Knowing I wouldn't last the night with the general population, I opted for solitary. I was given an orange jumper, a prisoners handbook, a tetanus shot, and sent to my cell. Everything seemed ok for a while. The cellmate next to me, a retired Afghanistan veteran who was allegedly in for domestic abuse, talked to me and gave me comfort. The food I was served for dinner was actually outstanding. It was Shepard's Pie and it was even better than my dad made it. I told the guards and nurses about my love for MLP and the community, and they all seemed intrigued. Everything was going great. I figured maybe I didn't need to be so scared after all...but then night fell. The prisoners handbook said lights would be out at 11:00 PM...but they weren't. In retrospective, that was probably for the best, because around that time...the screams started. It was like something out of a horror movie. It all started to sink in. I was alone, locked in this cell, until God knows what time the next morning. There were monsters outside my door...rapists, murderers, you name it. I worried I wasn't going to survive this entire ordeal after all. I began to cry, fearing I might die. I don't know why, I was perfectly safe there in that cell, but I was so afraid that the thought just crossed my mind. As I laid in bed, crying, listening to the screams outside my door, I prayed to Princess Luna and Princess Celestia for a sign...any kind of sign...that I would prevail and make it out of this whole thing alive. Just then, on the ground, something I hadn't noticed before. A scuff mark or some kind of erosion in the floor. It was prominently in the shape of an alicorn head. I could clearly make out the wings, the head, the ears and the horn. This was my first ever truely religious experience and I knew that Celestia and Luna were watching over me...they would not let me perish in this ordeal. This calmed my nerves and eventually, I was able to fall asleep amidst the chaos outside. The next day, when I was waiting in the courthouse jail for my bracelet to arrive, I started rapping my cell about Derpy Hooves and I knew I wanted to be a rapper in the Brony fandom, returning to my roots, and being my good old positive self again.

 

I also had a few other stipulations for my sentence. I couldn't be in physical contact with anyone I mentioned in the song. Surprisingly, two of the mothers of girls I had previously dated, both of which were not even remotely involved with the song, showed up to extend extra punishments towards me. This obviously was done out of spite since both mothers were lesbians and were always angry that their daughters dated me, a man. One of the mothers didn't even come prepared with the right paperwork and the judge laughed in her face at her feeble attempts to punish me further. Nevertheless, I agreed to add both of them to the list of people I needed to stay away from just to be through with this whole thing quicker. One of the mothers was supposed to show up to court one year later to extend the restraining order. She never did. Again, this was obviously just done out of misandry. 

 

Another requirement of my sentence was that I was to remain off social media for the time I was on house arrest, which I did. Since I didn't have Facebook to entertain me, I passed my time doing something I loved to do...watching MLP. My computer was confiscated in a raid that the Army National Guard had done on my house on the day of my arrest but I still had my PS3, and I would use it's web browser to go onto YouTube and watch all the episodes. I also took up drawing, well, tracing is more like it, and spent my time drawing the characters. I also wasn't allowed to leave the state, so my plans to attend BronyCon 2012 went right out the window since I didn't live in New Jersey.

 

After my house arrest was finished, I went back to the courthouse and my bracelet was removed (although the woman who did it probably got fired because she incorrectly cut the bracelet off instead of properly removing it...and that was a $2,000 piece of equipment she just broke). Of course, I still had many more painful months to come as I worked through this probation. I was constantly in fear of violating it, and accidentally did a couple times. I also feared police for the better part of the 3 years I was on probation. I didn't feel safe around them, I felt like they were there to take my freedom away. Although, somehow, I made some friends. Brony friends. I attended various meetups and had an absolute blast with these people. Years later, most of them would become too busy for me, but at the time...I was in heaven. This community picked me back up when I was at my lowest and gave me friendship when i needed it the most. This community saved my life. I probably would have been consumed by depression had it not been for this fandom giving me a reason to live. For that, I will always be greatful. Even if my interest in the show dies (which it has...multiple times) I will always be a brony because what this fandom has done for me can never be repaid.

 

In 2015, I was finally allowed off probation and was called a model probationer by my probation officer. My best friend at the time and fellow brony, Patrick, decided to celebrate by taking me to BronyCon that summer and I had an absolute blast. I met so many wonderful people and had never been so proud to be a brony. One of my most memorable stories happened on that Saturday. I had just gotten out of a signing with Nicole Oliver, the voice of Princess Celestia, and I saw my friends huddled in a corner near registration. I went to join them and shortly after, a Latino teenage boy with no con badge approaches our group. He said his name was Marco and he was starving. His family had been kicked out of their apartment in Baltimore and he was now homeless. He hadn't eaten in 2 days. My friends and I all scrambled into our bags for food and gave him whatever we could find. He was grateful to us and started asking us questions about the con and the brony fandom to which we happily answered. He said he had watched the show before but he never knew about the massive community, and certainly was not expecting us to be so generous and kind with him. He was blown away by our response to his suffering and vowed to delve deeper into the fandom. The next day, on Sunday, as Patrick and I were headed back to the con for closing ceremonies, we saw Marco and his mom again headed towards the convention. Outside the entrance, I stopped Marco and asked him if he wanted to be in my vlog for the convention and he agreed. He said I was one of the most generous and nice people he had ever met and he talked about how humble he was towards the Brony community for stepping up and helping his family when they didn't have to. Before we left, both Patrick and I gave Marco's mother $20 each. She burst into tears and hugged us both, thanking us for our generosity. That was my absolute most favorite moment from BronyCon 2015.

 

At BronyCon 2015 is also where I was inspired to take up reviews and analysis on YouTube. I had already been a big fan of Silver Quill, Dr. Wolf, Voice of Reason, etc., and after attending the Analyzing MLP Live! pannel, I was anxious to take up the hobby myself, especially since my MLP rap music wasn't super popular and had lost its luster with me too. I no longer enjoyed making music, but I did find that I enjoyed making videos, and that's what I've been doing ever since. I plan to stay in this fandom for many more years to come and can safely say that this is the best community in the world. I'm happy to be here on MLPForums and hopefully I can make some new friends here!

 

Thank you all for reading my story and as always, never stop thinking critically...

 

- CT

 

[NightmareLuna800 1,383]

Welcome to the community, Critical Thought! I hope you enjoy your time here! And yes, this is sure the place to make some great new friends! Feel free to PM me anytime if you need help with solving an issue, or you just wish to chat! Hope I see you 'round the forum!

 

(Rarity is awesome! )

Edited January 26, 2017 by NightmareLuna800

[viper213 224]

welcome to the community ^^ if you ever need anything just throw a pm my way i respond to them... eventually ^^ yet again welcome and thanks for the story about yourself too

[Night Terror 42]

Welcome to the community! Man...that was deep and very informative. I feel humbled by the fact that you would share this information with us. Anyways, hope to see you around on the forums!

[Messy Mane 9,006]

welcome,Critical Thought I hope you have a great time here at the forum. ''friend''                  

 

[Kenshiro 13,492]

Hello Critic, nice to meet you. Welcome to forums. I hope you get use to our community as soon as possible and i am sure that you ll meet lots of ponies there. If you wish to ask or talk about anything, i ll be around. See ya..     

[Rikifive 23,472]

What a long and detailed introduction review! 

Or book perhaps? 

Just kidding! 

 

Hello hello!

Welcome to the herd! 

Edited January 30, 2017 by Rikifive

[Critical Thought 12]

OMG FANART! Thank you! I love seeing this stuff. I don't get it very often!