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Character revision?


ChamberCheck

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Hi all,

 

I'm thinking about changing the lead of an upcoming story I'm writing into more of a Bat Pony/Thestral character. It's a small change, and one that would fit the character. The problem I have is more a personal one. I guess you could say I feel bad changing a character I've worked with for almost a year in such a big way. She has her own personality in my mind and I feel it would be bad in some way, like when you trade in a beloved car for an objectively better one, but still have an attachment to that old car. This happens to me a lot, which is why I never get rid of anything and am kind of a pack rat. I know I'll be happier in the long run, as the original design wasn't planned out well and was a bit visually uninteresting if you get right down to it. and I guess I can always use her original Pegasus design in another way, like a background character or in an alternate universe scenario, ala the MLP Season 5 finale.

 

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else is neurotic in this way like I am.

 

I'll post the story when I have enough of it to post.

 

Cheers.

 

 

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Hello @ChamberCheck!

 

 

Seeing that you are looking for help for your own story, this sort of topic would be more fitting on our section AK Yearling's Writing Resources, so I will be moving it there swiftly. Thank you! And I hope you are able to find the help you are looking for (:

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Thanks a bunch.

 

Hello @ChamberCheck!

 

 

Seeing that you are looking for help for your own story, this sort of topic would be more fitting on our section AK Yearling's Writing Resources, so I will be moving it there swiftly. Thank you! And I hope you are able to find the help you are looking for (:

Thanks a bunch.

 

I've pretty much decided against the Bat pony change. I drew a sketch of her as one and it didn't feel like the same character to me in some odd way. I will keep some of the coloration changes I made, though. My story is in my own sci fi universe and I'm moving away from a lot of bright pastel colors to darker, more realistic hues unless dye is involved. I changed her muzzle color from a light rose to more of an auburn. I'll post the updated sketch in the art section if anyone cares to look.

 

Anyone have any interesting alternate names for the Pegasus race In my universe, the common-tongue name for bat pony "Equines" is "Thestral". Anyone have any ideas for cool-sounding names for a Pegasus?

 

Here's the rough version of a trailer I wrote for the story if you're curious. This trailer is only the first draft, but the plot is set in stone.

 

 

The cold has always been a preservative, down through the ages. It keeps our food fresh and our servers functioning. But it can also hide the dead, hide under its icy sheen sins best left forgotten.

 

Empetore’s seas hide demons beneath. The “Data Moon” has always been a repository for those hoping to secure the value of their ideas, their legacy, be it their life’s work on our servers or their most treasured valuables in our climate controlled vaults. We are good at this, the best in the whole of the Great and Bountiful Empire.

 

Some things, though, require a greater touch, some sins require penance of a much greater nature.

 

…..

 

Nomen Sacrum, an officer with the Mercenaries’ Guild, has been hired to secure a vault. These jobs are a dime a dozen on Empetore. Wealthy clients often hire Guild officers to provide extra security for their valuables. But when an attack on the vault reveals what was hidden within, questions start to be raised about the group involved, questions that will lead Nomen and a crack team of Empetori law enforcement all the way from a high-end auction house in the Data Moon’s capital, to the underwater scrying-cities of Urim and Thummim, and even to the depths of the moon’s ancient, quiet seas.

Edited by ChamberCheck
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