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Anyone 30+ years and without a girlfriend?


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I'm five and a half years away from being 30 and I still don't have a man or woman by my side. But I'm not looking.

There is nothing wrong with being single. Please don't listen to those who believe otherwise. Divorces and break-ups are more common than ever (at least in the United States). You'd be wowed by the number of folks I could have sworn would end up being happy couples, but eventually parted ways.

This isn't to say that marriage is bad, but being in a relationship for the sake of having one isn't the way to go.

Edited by Halberd
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  • 2 years later...

I always get people who look at me as if I'm not getting any younger and have no GF. Am a year away of being 30 and still without a love life... then again, I wouldn't be able to survive on my own due to no job.

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I'm turning 29 this year and still don't have a partner, never really have, at least not in person.  I think nowadays, I'm a bit undateable because it takes me a while to even get comfortable around a person before becoming attracted to them in the first place and most people don't have the patience to wait for something that may not happen at all.  That's understandable though, if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't want to wait years to find out that this person isn't even attracted to me in the first place.  Also, I think a lot of guys avoid me because I'm a trans guy, not a "real guy" to some but I guess it's a good thing that those people avoid me in the first place since I wouldn't want to be with them either, if that were the case.  I just find it hard to date as a trans person in a small, conservative town.  idk, it never has been something at the top of my list of priorities so I don't find it that important to deal with right now, I'd prefer having a group of reliable friends instead.

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I mean my boyfriend's almost 30 and he's never had a girlfriend, but that's a totally different subject... ;)

 

I'll never have a girlfriend, because I'm gay. :P I had my first boyfriend in my teens, so I must be doing alright for myself. Though I never had one that I met in person until last year... :lie:

Edited by Angel_Dust
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On 3/10/2020 at 6:54 PM, Steve Piranha said:

Just became 29, still single. I’m fine with it tho. Sex is overrated anyway

No one says you have to be in a relationship to have sex, ya know be good friends and have some bennifits with someone who is comfortable with the idea lol

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On 4/26/2017 at 11:16 PM, Halberd said:

I'm five and a half years away from being 30 and I still don't have a man or woman by my side. But I'm not looking.

There is nothing wrong with being single. Please don't listen to those who believe otherwise. Divorces and break-ups are more common than ever (at least in the United States). You'd be wowed by the number of folks I could have sworn would end up being happy couples, but eventually parted ways.

This isn't to say that marriage is bad, but being in a relationship for the sake of having one isn't the way to go.

And money is a huge reason people break up now days! Or just over stupid shit in general honestly. I look on my Facebook and see constantly all the guys I went to highschool with getting engaged married and having kids and I have to wonder how many of those sorry sobs will end up paying child support at a later date because they just haaaaad to rush and let societal pressure dictate that they have to get married and have kids etc. Really quite stupid imo! If you love someone then awesome! But I just feel like there should not be this MASSIVE rush to get married have kids etc,take things slow and also stay young long enough to enjoy your money and your personal freedom before it all has to get sunk into the classical 50 year mortgage as well as the baby.

    Honestly if you even watch movies now days there are VERY few movies that depicts a single guy as successful or whatnot they are make him (or the woman) need to either be dependent on a woman or man or make a "love interest" as a side plot throughout all the breaks from the action, followed by a 2 to 5 min "wrestling scene" in the bedroom later on if you catch my drift. People should firstly learn how to be happy with themselves etc and it's perfectly fine to have an "intimate partner" etc I just fail to see what this whole massive rush is to get married and have kids is. Enjoy your youth while it lasts and don't let this crazy society pressure you into debt and massive responsibilities just because "it's the norm" is my main message.....

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1 hour ago, Blivy said:

No one says you have to be in a relationship to have sex, ya know be good friends and have some bennifits with someone who is comfortable with the idea lol

Nah, it’s a hassle anyway. Experienced it, not worth the effort. As soppy youtuber said years ago, fap is foolproof :mlp_yeehaa:

Edited by Steve Piranha
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Not been single for more than 30 plus years but I have been my whole lifetime, I sometimes wish I had a girlfriend because I want to feel loved but this person needs to be special, I have had chances but these just were not the ones I was looking for, my search will continue though altho I don't really have a lot of luck, it's hard for me to find a girlfriend because of my introvertism.

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2 hours ago, Brony Number 42 said:

Being single and having money is the best thing ever. All my friends are married and they have no time or money. I dodged a bullet.

My brother is stuck in marriage plus twins. He doesn't live anymore (for 5 years now, no time for himself). I understand completely what you are saying!

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I do not have a girlfriend and at least for now, I do not plan on finding one either (and no, I am not gay, so no boyfriend either). 

2 minutes ago, Splashee said:

My brother is stuck in marriage plus twins. He doesn't live anymore (for 5 years now, no time for himself). I understand completely what you are saying!

It is even more "fun" if the marriage falls apart.

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1 minute ago, Pentium100 said:

It is even more "fun" if the marriage falls apart.

I am actually slightly worried about that. It doesn't look like it, but I can only see a messy future while looking in his direction. :lie:

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8 minutes ago, Splashee said:

My brother is stuck in marriage plus twins. He doesn't live anymore (for 5 years now, no time for himself). I understand completely what you are saying!

This is the major worry about long relationships tbh- I'm sure kids are great but once you have some, that's your whole life.

I'm a fair way off 30 yet and don't have a girlfriend (due to being straight) nor a boyfriend (due to breaking up with the last one) and can honestly say I'm happy and content with my current situation.

So many people try to force and rush into relationships, just because they feel they have to or to stave off lonliness. But that's just a recipe for messiness further down the line.

Nothing wrong with a fling either if people are into that, as long as both of you (or all three, four etc if you're adventurous) are clear what you're getting into.

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In my opinion, if you're 30 and single then there is no point in trying any more. If you did find someone then you both have too much baggage and history. They are just some stranger who you are supposed to bring into your life and act like you have some deep connection? It doesn't make sense. You shouldn't need another person to make you happy. If you do then that makes you under their control.

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1 hour ago, TwilightEclipse said:

im 29 and its been about 5 years without any GF or BF for a long while....

The first five years aren't so bad.

 

Also I'm younger than 30

even when I'm supposed to be I won't be

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I'm 30 and have been single for about 6 years. The bachelor life isn't so bad. I do want to try dating again, but not til I settle in at my new place. 

Doubt I'll bother with marriage tho. If it fails, say goodbye to half of your assets.  

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23 minutes ago, Phosphor said:

I'm 30 and have been single for about 6 years. The bachelor life isn't so bad. I do want to try dating again, but not til I settle in at my new place. 

Doubt I'll bother with marriage tho. If it fails, say goodbye to half of your assets.  

all i want is cuddles lol XD

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1 hour ago, Bas said:

I do wonder - Do you enjoy accompany of friends and family? Because I'd argue that these consequentially are also people who make you feel happy.

I do agree to some extent, though, one should try not to make oneself emotionally too dependent on other people.

Friends and family give happiness but you shouldn't require them to be happy. But a dating relstionship is different. They are more likey to end. So it is foolish to put your happiness on someone who is likely to leave you. 

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What exactly is meant by "30+ years and without a girlfriend"? Are we talking about just anyone who is 30 or over and happens to be single or are we talking about being 30 or over without ever having been in a relationship? Quite a stark difference. I can't help but wonder if the latter is what OP was intending :huh: 

Seriously, being in your 30s without ever having been in a relationship is worlds apart from being in your 30s and single after a break-up or divorce.

In any case, I think many people who have never dated are confused about relationships and frankly, so was I until I knew better. I too used to be confused about what "intimacy" meant. It goes far beyond what you find on 18+ websites. In fact, it is possible to get NSFW and have no intimacy at all. Intimacy is about being connected to the other person. You have intellectual intimacy where you can talk openly and deeply with your partner about things that interest or engage you. There is emotional intimacy where you can openly and vulnerably share your feelings with one another. Then there is affection -- you know, the cute and mushy stuff. And, of course, the NSFW things.

At this point, I believe intimacy to be what people are looking for. The thing is, one doesn't necessarily have to be in a relationship to have intimacy. In fact, it is entirely possible get find enough of it in friendships. The real question is how far. As far as intellectual and emotional intimacy between friends goes, I don't see why those couldn't go as far as romantic one would expect to find in romantic relationships if not further still. I can imagine a someone who is single getting by psychologically just fine with intimate friendships. 

If one is in a relationship without much if any intimacy of any kind, that would make for a pretty shallow relationship at best and possibly toxic at worst. The same could be said about friendships void of even intellectual intimacy, let alone emotional intimacy.

But not being in a relationship and without any intimate friendships, or even worse, socially isolated? Now that is dangerous.

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