feedback Feedback on this story I am writing

[Bronyfordays 401]

So along with writing fanfictions, I just started writing an original story called the Supers. It takes place in Modern New York City. The summary is basically that strange events happen all at once in certain areas of the world. These events get called Surges. One happens to form in New York, which causes mayhem throughout the city. After the chaos has been handled, crime rates go through the roof. Murders start happening, some in strange ways. Eventually, it is found out that these Surges have not only created small monsters that hide in the shadows formed from an unknown substance in the Surge, but it has also given random people powers out of nowhere, also caused by the same unknown substance. Jack Phelps, a 20 year old college student, has been given one of these powers. As more and more bad things start to happen, he and a couple of other people given powers try to do something about it. Soon, though, they start thinking that maybe these surges weren't natural at all, but created by somebody...

That's the summary! If you are interested in this story, I'd love to get some feedback on the prologue. Which, in third person, shows a secret military post under New York City and how they react to the Surge as it happens. The rest of the story will be in first person, most of the time in Jack's POV. So again if you are interested, please PM me! Thanks!

 

[Bronyfordays 401]

Still wondering if people are interested in this. Could really use some feedback, I'm writing chapter 5 now.