Sad Song of the Moon (Original MLP Atmospheric Black Metal)

[TheThunderPony 109]

Made a song for Luna, took 2 days to make, I think it turned out ok. Fear of Eternity style again cuz he's friggin awesome.
Lots of looping, cuz I’m lazy. This was also my first time using SFX, which was a ton of fun.
I totally didn’t reuse those drums from Fields of Somber Fear though, nope. Bonus points for noticing that Luna’s Theme I threw in there.

Made this in February btw, totally fergot to post this here though, whoops.

Program: FL Studio 12

BPM: 124.97

In Game Name:

Server Name :

Offense Banned for:

Staff member who banned you:

Dispute Reason:

Edited May 5, 2017 by TheThunderPony

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

Ok. 

It's an ok listen. However, for the majority of the piece, you limited yourself to the i and the VII, knowing this piece is in the key of F# minor. I suggest you use a steady four-chord progression, for this will open up plenty of routes to go in your song. Here are some suggestions for chord progressions:

i-VII-iv-V

i-III-VII-V

iv-VI-III-VII

III-i-VI-V

There are many more progressions you can perform. 

That arpeggiated piano could use some more flexibility and variance in it's line. Instead of only using 8th notes, why not combine it with a rolling upper chord on the higher parts of the piano, around the C6 and C7 regions? Also, why not strike low octaves at a certain point for accents, like, at the beginning of each new phrase? On top of that, the piano needs more atmosphere and ambience. Dial up on the reverb and add some chorus to give it that atmospheric sound it needs. 

In terms of your guitars, they sometimes sound crowded up in each other. I see you wanted to go with heavy distortion, which suits black metal. However, if you want a cool effect, run your guitars through a compressor and increase the attack time to give the guitars a swell. With a swell attack, your guitars will sound like epic brass, especially with heavy distortion. Don't forget to put reverb on them. 

Your strings sounded really crowded, like each section was performing something different. Remember, when writing for strings, the lower strings (cellos and basses) must share the same harmonies. The upper strings (violins and violas), can be different melodies with some dissonance here and there, but not too much. 

Your drums could be less active in this piece. I'd suggest you retort to cymbals. In the start of the piece, you can perform heavy tom hits with higher reverb at certain points when the bass and lower octave piano hits come in. The drum beat sort of took away from the feeling of Luna. Remember, less can be more sometimes. 

All in all, it's an ok piece, but in the end, it could use a lot of work when it comes to progressions, instrumentation, instrument writing, effects use and overall ideas and theming. I'm here if you need me to explain all that I said in my critique. Shoot me a PM at anytime. 

[MC'01 47]

I gotta admit - this sounds like MIDI and these days... MIDI sucks. But! It has a potential, it's not that bad, honestly

[TheThunderPony 109]

20 hours ago, C. Thunder Dash said:

Ok. 

It's an ok listen. However, for the majority of the piece, you limited yourself to the i and the VII, knowing this piece is in the key of F# minor. I suggest you use a steady four-chord progression, for this will open up plenty of routes to go in your song. Here are some suggestions for chord progressions:

i-VII-iv-V

i-III-VII-V

iv-VI-III-VII

III-i-VI-V

There are many more progressions you can perform. 

That arpeggiated piano could use some more flexibility and variance in it's line. Instead of only using 8th notes, why not combine it with a rolling upper chord on the higher parts of the piano, around the C6 and C7 regions? Also, why not strike low octaves at a certain point for accents, like, at the beginning of each new phrase? On top of that, the piano needs more atmosphere and ambience. Dial up on the reverb and add some chorus to give it that atmospheric sound it needs. 

In terms of your guitars, they sometimes sound crowded up in each other. I see you wanted to go with heavy distortion, which suits black metal. However, if you want a cool effect, run your guitars through a compressor and increase the attack time to give the guitars a swell. With a swell attack, your guitars will sound like epic brass, especially with heavy distortion. Don't forget to put reverb on them. 

Your strings sounded really crowded, like each section was performing something different. Remember, when writing for strings, the lower strings (cellos and basses) must share the same harmonies. The upper strings (violins and violas), can be different melodies with some dissonance here and there, but not too much. 

Your drums could be less active in this piece. I'd suggest you retort to cymbals. In the start of the piece, you can perform heavy tom hits with higher reverb at certain points when the bass and lower octave piano hits come in. The drum beat sort of took away from the feeling of Luna. Remember, less can be more sometimes. 

All in all, it's an ok piece, but in the end, it could use a lot of work when it comes to progressions, instrumentation, instrument writing, effects use and overall ideas and theming. I'm here if you need me to explain all that I said in my critique. Shoot me a PM at anytime. 

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for your lengthly comment C. Thunder Dash. This is the first time I've ever received a critique on any of my music (or art in general honestly), so I'm very grateful. I'm honestly more of an Orchestral guy, but I absolutely love ABM (Fear of Eternitys' style in particular), and have always wanted to make some of my own in a similar manner. So, I'm referencing his stuff quite a bit, and old-school Italian horror scores, as these heavily influence his style. Trying to change it into something less like his is a challenge though, but I'll figure that out eventually. A major reason for the muddy/seeming lack of reverb is because my EQ was very poor here. Even when making this, I wished I could figure out how to "un-muddy" everything, especially the electric, bass, and strings. It is getting better though, as I'm attempting my first Trace/Trap track (boy is this something). This is the second electronic track I've worked on. It's teaching me so much about proper EQ, and sampling/chopping audio clips too. Another reason why this song sounds as mediocre as it does, is simply because didn't want to work on it anymore. I probably should have taken a break and came back to it later, but I burned myself out on it instead. I also began to get distracted more, and more from the fact that this song was supposed to be about Luna. So I just made whatever sounded good to me at the time. That's why it really doesn't feel much like a Luna themed song (besides the obvious "Lunas' Theme" I threw in), such a bad move that was. After listening to this a couple times or more a day since making this, I certainly realize this is not my best work. But, I guess I still enjoy it because of where it could've gone and still could go, if I redo it that is. I'm actually curious what you think of my stuff compared his, if possible.

In any case, I know the piano arpeggiations aren't the most interesting to listen to. If I were making this now, I would have done the things you mentioned. They actually don't sound super dry/MIDI when isolated, but with the rest of the mix well...

As for the guitars, yep, that's definitely not something I do anymore, haha. I've since begun to record my own playing, but with FL Slayer (quietly) in the BG. This presents it's own mixing/mastering challenges however. That sounds better than any plugin all by itself though. I might remove Slayer completely from my next track (because it really does sound terrible).

The strings are terribly muddy/knoted together, I agree fully. I attempted to do something Andre did in his track, Dreadful Silence, but went a bit too far this time, and very messily at that. I've done this once previously, with better results I feel (even though the awful EQing doesn't show it). I certainly wouldn't do this now, because it's really just a big mess of notes.

I feel the same way after listening to this countless times as previously stated. They don't feel like Luna at all, and they're too busy, for sure. I will try your suggestion next time I make a similar track though, or if I decide to remake this one, because it surely sounds like it would work.

Just incase you don't know of Andre, here is a song from each album (old to new), and examples of whom I feel are his influences:

Melancholy Rain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpJ123i1w4k

Atrocious Pain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf8Oi0YYk0k

Had to pick between this, and the more epic "Spirit of Sorrow".

Dreadful Silence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtG7Ye_LR44

Leaving the Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j5QShwU8Ao

The album this song is from tells a story, and is indeed his best work. If you like this, I'd suggest listening to the whole thing.

Consulting The Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNiCi5J5pOU

Fragments of Wisdom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-8LFxNGC3E

The House by the Cemetery // Walter Rizzati

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0GEnkjDDw&t=204s

Especially the Main Theme at 3:24

Cannibal Holocaust - Main Theme (Riz Ortolani)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf1Vt6r-sj8

 

Again, thank you for the critique C. Thunder, greatly appreciated

17 hours ago, MC'01 said:

I gotta admit - this sounds like MIDI and these days... MIDI sucks. But! It has a potential, it's not that bad, honestly

Yep, that's thanks to my crap EQ job, instrumentation/composition, and not having the most realistic sounding plug-ins (FL Slayer is garbage):p Hopefully though, I'll be able to buy Kontakt and the 8Dio Set, and be a kool kid like Radiarc (I love him). I've already started to just record my own guitars, it's soo much better (duh). The Piano dosen't sound super dry/MIDI when isolated, but with the rest of the mix it sure does. I see your point for sure, but I listen to MIDI stuff some times, like original Dancing Mad. But yeah, ultimately realistic sounding plug-ins sound best for almost everything. This is old anyway, so it sounds crappy to me now lol. Hell, even when I made it, it sounded crappy. Thanks though

Edited May 6, 2017 by TheThunderPony

[Dsiak 4]

Yoo, it seems you horses know about music, could you clarify something for me?

It's about the genre of the song, I definitely agree that your song is sad and sets a mood, but what makes it black metal? When I think the "regular" black metal

Spoiler

take deep a breath Mayhem, Morbid, Gorgoroth, Dark Funeral, Emperor, Gehenna, Carpathian Forest, (early)Behemoth, (early)Keep of Kalessin, Thorns, Abruptum, Marduk, (early)Merciless, Bathory, Immortal (iguess)  aaaand thats all I got in my music folder gotta google some more. i like bl4ck m3t41

its just very different, but so is the others subgenres of blackmetal, I just find atmospheric and DSBM "more" different, especially when they use clean vocals. Speaking of which this "Fear of Eternity" vocals are really sick! I thought for a second Hat from Gorgoroth came back to the metal scene srlys it's exceptionally g00d tr00 and kvlt you don't see much of that nowadays, but the instrumentals are so very easy on the ear. so what qualifies a song as black metal?

PS:all i know about music is: _____.

 

 

Anyway, as for the song, Ill go against u all:

I really like the "buzzy guitar" at 0:32 and the overlapping strings at 2:04, it adds a familiar feeling of black metal's harsh and chaotic nature, respectively. Repetition is not bad neither just look at mayhem, iron maiden or dark funeral, theirs tracks have little variation but still kick ass.