Ready for Anything: Rainbow Dash's Theme WIP

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

So, currently composing a theme for Rainbow Dash for a contest in which the first round is finished monday. I'm on my third and final WIP for this Rainbow Dash theme. As of now, all that's left to do is add the 4th and final section of the song and then it'll be finished. I'd like some critique on what I've got so far to make sure I won't have to make too many changes. 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/u5tod0h9v7mn69b/WIP 3.wav?dl=0

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[Stallionslaughter 394]

It's very busy, but it doesn't come together well. I clearly hear guitar right at the start, but then it disappears into the mix, almost never to be heard from again. Bad harmonizing/ugly chord at 0:06, 0:11, 0:15, and 0:21 is clearly intentional, but hits the ear all wrong, but get less noticeable as the layers upon layers of sound grow, and it becomes a wall of sound. I tend to begin to focus less on the melody and just hear how loud and busy the track became until it stops with the chimes. The drums sound like they've been "humanized" or something because the most notable tempo issue is at 0:28 where none of the drum parts line up correctly. When trying to dissect the fill right before the break, I find that the leveling has the drums too far behind the mix, and it doesn't wrap up to the break. It just kind of ends.

When we come back in at 0:34, the drums and the instruments drop on 1 independently which takes us into a clunky, tempo variant nightmare of too many sounds and not enough coordination. That synth at 0:42 and 0:53 is horrendously loud compared to the rest of the track. 0:49 is an especially jarring tempo mistake with the keys, but it's certainly not exclusive to that area.

At about 0:55 to 1:10 the track adds even more synths and it becomes even more discordant as there are times, like at 1:08 where the drums stop completely, start again, and then stop without flow or direction. And at 1:18, the way-too-loud synth comes back and is here to stay until closing, and I believed the track would peak in the number of sounds that plays at one time, becoming increasingly difficult to follow, but then guitar comes in fairly loudly, and then even the main melody begins the paradoxically "humanized" tempo mistakes that appear to be forced at 1:42 and again at 1:49.

Six words can fix this track: Less is more and tempo correction.

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

13 hours ago, Stallionslaughter said:

It's very busy, but it doesn't come together well. I clearly hear guitar right at the start, but then it disappears into the mix, almost never to be heard from again. Bad harmonizing/ugly chord at 0:06, 0:11, 0:15, and 0:21 is clearly intentional, but hits the ear all wrong, but get less noticeable as the layers upon layers of sound grow, and it becomes a wall of sound. I tend to begin to focus less on the melody and just hear how loud and busy the track became until it stops with the chimes. The drums sound like they've been "humanized" or something because the most notable tempo issue is at 0:28 where none of the drum parts line up correctly. When trying to dissect the fill right before the break, I find that the leveling has the drums too far behind the mix, and it doesn't wrap up to the break. It just kind of ends.

When we come back in at 0:34, the drums and the instruments drop on 1 independently which takes us into a clunky, tempo variant nightmare of too many sounds and not enough coordination. That synth at 0:42 and 0:53 is horrendously loud compared to the rest of the track. 0:49 is an especially jarring tempo mistake with the keys, but it's certainly not exclusive to that area.

At about 0:55 to 1:10 the track adds even more synths and it becomes even more discordant as there are times, like at 1:08 where the drums stop completely, start again, and then stop without flow or direction. And at 1:18, the way-too-loud synth comes back and is here to stay until closing, and I believed the track would peak in the number of sounds that plays at one time, becoming increasingly difficult to follow, but then guitar comes in fairly loudly, and then even the mane melody begins the paradoxically "humanized" tempo mistakes that appear to be forced at 1:42 and again at 1:49.

Six words can fix this track: Less is more and tempo correction.

Sorry I couldn't reply sooner, phone was messing up. 

Anyways, thanks for the critique. I do have to explain something though. This was all recorded using my Korg Kronos workstation into Studio One Artist, which is why some places tempos are off. It is a nightmare trying to make things right, especially the drums and other similar instruments. I basically played every single part of this piece on my Kronos using sounds directly from the keyboard. No MIDI was used at all. 

Another thing that's going on is that I recorded this piece in sections. I recorded the intro one day with all of it's parts and so forth. Baiscally the theme of this piece is that no matter what's going on, Rainbow Dash is ready for anything, which is why there are quite a few characterizations going on, especially in the last synth part, which I need to add an upper arpeggiated lead synth. Today, I plan to record the conclusion and summary, which involves a key shift. 

I know things may seem really crowded, but it's due to me having to adjust volumes of everything every time I add or edit a part, which can bring out or drown out certain instruments.

Again, thanks for the critique.