critique wanted My Idea For The Final MLP Episode Ever!!! (May Turn Into A Fanfic)

[Harratot33 93]

On 8/11/2017 at 7:19 PM, Hierok said:

That would be nice. 

Awesome news - Coming of Stellas Spatium is now FINISHED!! The final chapter is up on Fimficiton.net and Fanfiction.net. It's a little longer than the rest, and a bit darker, I hope I didn't go too overboard with that element, but ah well, if you're still interested, what do you think? Thanks!

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/7/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-7---equestrias-new-ruler

[Hierok 11,829]

22 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

Awesome news - Coming of Stellas Spatium is now FINISHED!! The final chapter is up on Fimficiton.net and Fanfiction.net. It's a little longer than the rest, and a bit darker, I hope I didn't go too overboard with that element, but ah well, if you're still interested, what do you think? Thanks!

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381912/7/the-coming-of-stellas-spatium/chapter-7---equestrias-new-ruler

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

[Harratot33 93]

2 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

I should probably draw one.

[Harratot33 93]

22 hours ago, Hierok said:

Do you have a picture of Spatium? It is really hard to imagine him. 

I've started on Tirek's Reform already; unfortunately it is only avaliable on Fanfiction.net because the first chapter is not quite 1,000 words long.

[Hierok 11,829]

24 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

I've started on Tirek's Reform already; unfortunately it is only avaliable on Fanfiction.net because the first chapter is not quite 1,000 words long.

Do you have a link when I can see it? 

[Harratot33 93]

Just now, Hierok said:

Do you have a link when I can see it? 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12612767/1/Tirek-s-Reform

[Hierok 11,829]

40 minutes ago, Harratot33 said:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12612767/1/Tirek-s-Reform

Thank you! 

Is Spatium his later size here? I would like it when he used the spell he changed his design.  

[Harratot33 93]

15 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Thank you! 

Is Spatium his later size here? I would like it when he used the spell he changed his design.  

Erhm...I've never really thought about it, but great idea!

[Hierok 11,829]

1 minute ago, Harratot33 said:

Erhm...I've never really thought about it, but great idea!

That's why I am here. 

[Harratot33 93]

22 hours ago, Hierok said:

That's why I am here. 

What rating should I give Tirek's Reform? I've rated it T due to the new chapter referencing the Princess' "corpses" and "Twilight feeling as if her heart is about to explode out of her chest.", and for overall having a much darker tone than the show. Is all that too strong for an E, or am I being overly-paranoid; I just don't want to get in trouble for giving it the wrong rating.

[Hierok 11,829]

1 minute ago, Harratot33 said:

What rating should I give Tirek's Reform? I've rated it T due to the new chapter referencing the Princess' "corpses" and "Twilight feeling as if her heart is about to explode out of her chest.", and for overall having a much darker tone than the show. Is all that too strong for an E, or am I being overly-paranoid; I just don't want to get in trouble for giving it the wrong rating.

I don't know what those ratings are, but it is not that little kids may not see it. So I guess E will do. 

[Harratot33 93]

3 minutes ago, Hierok said:

I don't know what those ratings are, but it is not that little kids may not see it. So I guess E will do. 

E is for everyone, T is Teen and there's an 18+ one too. The two categories for stories rated T or up are "gore" and "s*x" but I dunno if there's really any gore as such in the story and there's certainly no s*x.

[Hierok 11,829]

No, there is not. E will do just fine. 

[Harratot33 93]

4 minutes ago, Hierok said:

No, there is not. E will do just fine. 

I feel like this middle chapter does kinda defeat the purpose of the show being so happy...it's certainly Empire Strikes Back level of dark  

[Hierok 11,829]

Maybe, but it was not gore too. (That means the same as gross right?)

It definitly isn't happy, but the show isn't always happy too. Look at Twilight's kingdom.

[Harratot33 93]

4 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Maybe, but it was not gore too. (That means the same as gross right?)

It definitly isn't happy, but the show isn't always happy too. Look at Twilight's kingdom.

Haha, that episode's gonna be referenced a lot in this one, due to Tirek's involvement. And gore is blood and guts, and that kind of thing.

[Hierok 11,829]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

Haha, that episode's gonna be referenced a lot in this one, due to Tirek's involvement. And gore is blood and guts, and that kind of thing.

You mean the last one you showed right? The one with Spatium in it? 

Otherwise I haven't seen it and I can't really judge, but I feel it is just E.

[Harratot33 93]

1 hour ago, Hierok said:

You mean the last one you showed right? The one with Spatium in it? 

Otherwise I haven't seen it and I can't really judge, but I feel it is just E.

Just re-watched part one of Twilight's Kingdom and I honestly think a reformed Tirek could work - his brother was reformed, so now it's his turn, right, that could shape his decision and Discord is back to his old reformed self again now and him and Tirek are clearly very close in the episode. I dunno...

 

[Hierok 11,829]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

Just re-watched part one of Twilight's Kingdom and I honestly think a reformed Tirek could work - his brother was reformed, so now it's his turn, right, that could shape his decision and Discord is back to his old reformed self again now and him and Tirek are clearly very close in the episode. I dunno...

Could be, but I have personally something against a reformed Tirek. He was just so badass and strong, which means that if you reform him, you make the good guys real powerfull. Maybe not against Spatium, but in the show that would be a real disappointment. 

[Harratot33 93]

Just now, Hierok said:

Could be, but I have personally something against a reformed Tirek. He was just so badass and strong, which means that if you reform him, you make the good guys real powerfull. Maybe not against Spatium, but in the show that would be a real disappointment. 

I was considering there being a twist where it turns out he was pretending just to escape being enslaved by Spatium and he hasn't really been affected by the magic of friendship at all, but that sounds a bit cliche and makes his entire arc pointless. Plus, I wouldn't be able to do the whole swapping Princess roles thing at the end.

[Hierok 11,829]

Maybe a silly idea, but would you like to suggest it?

In the final battle there is only one way to stop Spatium, but in order for it to work Twilight and Cadence must become princesses of the sun and the moon. Tirek helps them, but when Spatium is defeated and the others want to thank them, Tirek already fled over the borders of Equestria to other country's.

[Harratot33 93]

13 minutes ago, Hierok said:

Maybe a silly idea, but would you like to suggest it?

In the final battle there is only one way to stop Spatium, but in order for it to work Twilight and Cadence must become princesses of the sun and the moon. Tirek helps them, but when Spatium is defeated and the others want to thank them, Tirek already fled over the borders of Equestria to other country's.

I like that idea! It will appear in the third story but I may vary it a bit...I like how it's not a conventional means of defeating the villain - that sounds quite intelligent as opposed to all-out action!

[Hierok 11,829]

Just now, Harratot33 said:

I like that idea! It will appear in the third story but I may vary it a bit...I like how it's not a conventional means of defeating the villain - that sounds quite intelligent as opposed to all-out action!

It is your story, so do what you like. 

[Harratot33 93]

24 minutes ago, Hierok said:

It is your story, so do what you like. 

OK, I've encountered some problems with the story upon re-watching Twilight's Kingdom Part Two. How is Queen Chrysalis going to access Tartarus? And why don't Twilight and all the others use the chest to defeat Spatium rather than the elements...

Edited August 14, 2017 by Harratot33

[Hierok 11,829]

1 minute ago, Harratot33 said:

OK, I've encountered some problems with the story upon re-watching Twilight's Kingdom Part Two. How is Queen Chrysalis going to access Tartarus? And why don't Twilight and all the others use the chest to defeat Spatium rather than the elements...

Well, Twilight could also enter Tartarus in that time travel episode, so Chrysalis can too and the chest can only be used once and that was against Tirek.