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The history of Equestria in my thoughts


Hierok

What do you think of it?  

5 users have voted

  1. 1. What do you think of it?

    • This doesn't tie up with the show and you will ruin the story here.
      0
    • It is possible, but very unlikely.
      2
    • I like it, except for a couple of things.
      1
    • I love it. Thank you for making this.
      2


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I want to know what you all thing of this story. It is a possible history and I really want to know if I can do something better or something I haven't really thought of or important parts I've missed. :)

I would really appreciate a few compliments and critics.

 

A Great Nation, called Girok, was ruled by 13 tribes. Each tribe had there own talents and weaknesses and they cared for each other. This alicorns listened to the council, which were the gods of Space, Time, Life and Balance. Their was Respect, Order and Safety for the ponies. 

But all that changed when the alicorns thought the draconequusses came to invade the city of Cindale, the capital of Hyra, a province of Girok, in the year _____ before Eq. The alicorns and the draconequusses where enemies since the war of Davilus, when the two species could not agree about who was going to stay in Cindale. The draconequusses where defeated after a long battle, but they swore revenge upon that they would claim Cindale and now they were back. 6 of the 13 tribes thought they had to attack, in order to protect their citizens and their cities, but the council didn't agree, because the council felt like this was not the right thing to do. 3 of the 6 tribes didn't listen to the council and in order to protect the citizens, they set of to attack the draconequusses. 

The draconequusses were ambushed. Almost all died in the battle and the ones who fled away were hunted and killed later. Their leader was the only one who was left. His name was Discord, the warrior of disharmony. He was furious and depressed. The gods had mercy with him, so they'll gave him strong magical abilities. But Discord began to use his immense power to manipulate and kill other creatures. He created a specie, which are now called dragons. They were actually a failure because of their lack of loyalty and their only desire for treasure. 
His power was so great that the gods couldn't bring him down. When they tried to take his power away, he set two terrible curses. He cursed a couple of unicorns who turned into windigo's, which stole joy and feed of it and with his second curse he used the shadows of those unicorns to create Umbrum's. With there spirits and shadows gone, the body's stayed behind, but because they didn't really die they began to live. They began to mutate. Their skin became darker, they became smaller and they got wings. The first changelings had been born.

When the gods heard of his crimes against those ponies, they locked him up in a prison deep inside the earth, which now is called Tartarrus. He could only be freed by two Alicorns, who where actually living sacrefices, because they have to be locked away instead. He was patiencedly waiting to escape.

When the tribes were back in Cindale in the year ______ before Eq, the council punished the 3 clans. The citizens of Hyra, who had killed the most draconequusses, had lost there wings, horns and a large amount of magic. Then came the citizens of Beleria, a clan which also had big problems before with the draconequusses, who were the ones who had denied the advice of the council and convinced the others to go, lost there horns and there magic. And the third tribe, who just joined without considering the concequenses, had lost there wings and much amount of magic.

They were banished to the place where they killed all the draconequusses, but they were heavily jealous at each other. The earth ponies had no magic anymore and were bound to the ground, while the unicorns had magic and the pegasi could fly. The unicorns on the other hoof felt betrayed, because they thought it wasn't really there fault. The pegasi were not pleased with the behavior of the unicorn and pegasi and became angry about it and so they lived on like that for centuries. And with the lost of magic, they lived not as long as before. When the leaders past away, so did the stories of the great alicorn Civilization.

There were problems in the following millenia and an alicorn, named Starswirl, was send by the gods in _______ before Eq to get rid of the jealousy. The sirens were his first task to get the trust of the ponies and he banished them. The unicorns trusted him after that and he got a student named Clover the Clever. There was finally peace between the tribes, but they still didn't trust each other.
 

This lasted till Swarswirl was ambushed and murdered a couple years later by Lord Tirek. He had came to steal Equestrian magic and Starswirl knew it because Scorpan was confinced by Starswirl that this was not the right way. After a long battle Starswirl had lost his magic and was killed. Scorpan on the other hand was alarming the unicorns. They were to late to help Starswirl, but with Tirek tired and weak, they could easily throw him in jail. They asked the gods if they could lock him up in Tartarus. They agreed and made an entrance with a safekeeper. But with a gate to Tartarus, it is easier to escape.

For the first time in almost 5000 years the unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies were together talking to each other about their hero. Out of Starswirls body came
 a tree. This tree was made from pure starlight and friendship, which Starswirl wanted to bring to the ponies. They say that Starswirl's spirit never went to the next live, but still is looking upon his tree.

But right after the death of Starswirl the clans began to argue again. And because Starswirl wasn't their to stop them, it became worse and worse, and if that wasn't bad enough, it slowly began to freeze. In the beginning no pony ever had problems with it. But after a couple of years the land became more and more a wintery landscape. The windigo's had come, giving problems and sadness. It was Clover's destiny to defeat them. Starswirl had known it and predicted it. You know the storie of Clover, so I don't going to spoil it here. It was here that Equestria was made.

In the year ____ , Discord had been locked up for hundreds of years and wanted to get out to spread chaos and take his revenge on the ponies who had killed his family and friends. But he was smart. He had plans to free himself and he was in luck. In Equestria were stories about him. Scary stories and rumors that he will pop up to inslave everybody.  A young unicorn named Celestia was worried about her younger sister, because she didn't eat, didn't sleep, had a lot of pain and it became worse. Nobody could or wanted to help her. Her parents had left her and she was alone without money. When Celestia heard about Discord, she 
immediately went to see him. Discord tried to trick her, by offering a deal. He said she and Luna would became alicorns, so Luna would survive, but in return he would be freed by her. She agreed and Luna and Celestia freed Discord and were locked up in that prison. 

The council knew they were tricked, so Celestia and Luna were freed. It was the councils plan to let Discord free, in order to redeem him. The gods helped Celestia and Luna recover and set them on a path to defeat Discord. The gods told the sisters that they need to look for a tree, which was planted long time ago, when the land needed to recover from a great and dark battle. It contained the elements of harmony. They found it and used it to defeat Discord, which turned him to stone.


Luna and Celestia ruled the land of Equestria together. Celestia stayed in Canterlot, while Luna was mostly in her own castle on the north of Equestria. Here they kept a strong artifact, the crystal heart, but Luna became jelous of Celestia and wanted to be in Canterlot instead, because she thought she get a lot more reconition there. Amore Éros became the new mayor of the Crystal Empire. Many called her Princess Amore, but she wasn't really a princess and when Sombra was hungry for power, he turned her to stone and spread all fragments around Equestria. Each fragement was posessed by a strong dark magic. The changelings found a piece and because it was a changeling who touched it first it only allowed changeling magic. There was only one problem with it. Each fragment was to weak to really suck up magic, but all together they were very powerfull, so the changelings found all and cast a spell to make a throne out of it, which now protected their hive.

Celestia and Luna came to stop Sombra. They defeated him after a heavy battle. Celestia was first strucked out of the sky and when Sombra tried to kill her, Luna came from behind and banished him in his own horn. Sombra cursed the empire and the sisters had to run for their life to escape the sinking empire. In canterlot their began to be stories about how great Celestia had fought. Luna became more and more jelous by day as her sister got more and more love from the ponies, prasing her because she was so brave and Celestia forgot to give credit to Luna.

Luna wanted revenge, turned herself into Nightmare Moon and attacked, but she was banished to moon. Celestia made regrets to herself for not noticing Luna's pain and disappointment, but because she now was alone to protect Equestria, she thought of ways to keep the ponies save. She opened her school for high giveded unicorns to make stronger pony's. She searched for successers too and with her first one she was very proud. Cadence had officially became her prize pupil, but she came later then hoped. For almost 1000 year she had been hoping for Cadence and now the time was there. Cadence became the first artificial alicorn. But Celestia already was busy with a second one, but because Celestia was in a hurry, Sunset became very arrogant and selfish and when she had gone, Twilight took her place.

Her goes the show further to the present.

https://hierok.deviantart.com/art/Remake-Headcanon-671034360

Edited by Hierok
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Hello @Hierok

Taking into account that you are open to suggestions and opinions from other users to afterwards improve your work, I believe this topic would be suitable for AK Yearling's Writting Resources. Furthermore, the proper tag of 'critique wanted' will be affixed to the title.

Have a lovely day and I hope you find what you're looking for!

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