sad If I Could Go Back...

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,809]

If I could go back...
To that one day...
Where all was carefree and gay
Where no one or nopony hesitated to offer a snack...

What would I do...?
What would I say...?
Would the hurt go away?
Would they see me as somepony brand new?

Would somepony be against me?
Would they hold a grudge?
Would they see the new me?
Would the image of the old me in their mind not even budge?

I am scared
I am afraid
With the impression I've already made...
I don't think I'm even prepared...

I am a beggar inside...
Always wanting and needing
But with my selfish gain and pride...*sniffle*
How could I...fess up and...say what I...really need...?

I know s-she was there...
...and left me...to chase her dreams...
I...*sniffle*...can't undo it all
This is...my biggest...*sniffle*...fall...

If...I could go back...I would *starts sobbing lightly*
Heal all the wounds that I...inflicted...
I know it's never too late...but...
All my guilt is making me feel so...constricted...*still sobbing*

I'm strong...
I-I'm brave...*sniffles trying to recover from her sobbing*
But...I feel so...weak...
Like...I'm...all alone in a cave...

Please...
If you can hear me...
I-I wanna start this over...*stands up and wipes her face with a talon*
And make it right...
Because now I see it...and understand...
What is now...is now...but our future...will be brighter than the brightest star...in all of the land...

~Gilda

A freewrite I did one day when I was thinking. Hope you guys like it.