Ask Tuxedo Man

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Ask me stuff. Ask me about my day. Ask me about methods of disposing of a body. Ask me for relationship advice. Ask me about my opinion on pickles. To thine questions, the answers I shall seek.

Please ask me some questions I'm very bored right now

[Rethajni 1,993]

 Violet: whooa... i love tuxedos!

 Anyways hi! i was hoping to take away that boredom from ya! okay i got a tricky question for you

 

 

can you tell me, which pokemon should i pick first? Charmander, Squrtle or Bulbasur?

if gaming is not your thing, here's another

 

Do you prefer hot deserts like cake, waffles, and recently baked pie? or you prefer cold deserts like ice cream, shakes?

 

 

 

[Duality 10,738]

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Ask me stuff. Ask me about my day. Ask me about methods of disposing of a body. Ask me for relationship advice. Ask me about my opinion on pickles. To thine questions, the answers I shall seek.

Please ask me some questions I'm very bored right now

'Stuff' is too vague to ask about.

'Your day' is simply too pedestrian to ask about unless it was secretly a night in disguise.

'Methods of disposing of a body' might have been good if your scope of disposal wasn't too limited for my purposes.

'Relationship advice' requires me first to have been in a relationship of some description at some point during my entire life, so as to facilitate my ready understanding of such arcane knowledge. Plus, you and me both know that you have no idea how girls work any better than the rest of us.

'Your opinion on pickles' is that they are pickles. I dare you to contradict me.

I will instead ask you 'some questions'. I would advise not poking around on too many other ask threads, otherwise you'll figure out that I reuse the same questions on everyone I talk to and spoil it for yourself.

Don't judge me man thinking is hard waste not want not a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush etcetera etcetera ad infinitum

Anyway, if you really, really, want to get some original questions from me, you better be quick about answering the ones I already have, because I have loads, and there's this other guy who answers maybe two or three batches a day.  Not that my pre-generated questions are anything other than absolutely hysterically amusingly wittily intelligently intricately querulously quizzacious, of course.

There is no such thing as 'too many adjectives'.

 

 

Now, to business:

To what extent are paperclips essential to your day-to-day life?

What do you normally keep in your pockets?

If you were building a house for you to live in 20 years in the future, what shape would you make the roof, and why?

What is the culture you would most like to live in, from any country in the world?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

@Balareth Thank you for the questions! 

Charmander. No second thoughts. High risk, high reward. If you can't beat the first gym leader without a type advantage you shouldn't be playing Pokemon. After all, the storyline gameplay is known for being immersion-ruiningly easy.

As for the second question, it depends.. though I'd have to go with hot deserts. There's a greater variety of them, which also includes my favorites.

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

@Duality I'll ignore that comment regarding relationship advice and try to answer your questions

1. They're actually pretty rare around here. Not that they're hard to find, but nobody uses them. Whenever I get my hands on one, I usually use it to practice my lock-picking skills (and fail miserably).

2. My smartphone, occasionally. Most of the time they're empty, as I prefer using my tuxedo's inner, more secure compartments. As for what I keep in those, well, smartphone (usually), keys, spare change, and most of the time dust.

3. You'll need to be more specific. Very few roofs are just one geometrical shape, but rather a mix of multiple pyramids/cuboids etc. I'd like a more modern type house, so probably rectangular, maybe a glass dome above the living room, I don't really know. Something practical that also looks nice.

4. Again, needs to be more specific. Ancient cultures or modern cultures. For modern, I'd say America. After all, they're the ones who get all the cool nerdy stuff first. For ancient, Rome or medieval England. Always been a fan of sword duels and epic clashes of massive proportions. The Victorian era had a nice vibe to it, as well.

[Rethajni 1,993]

 i have some questions if you don't mind! i have a special tricky one, listen closely:

 

imagines that somehow you have the chance to go back in time when you have 7 or 8 years old BUT! you have ALL the knowledge from your current time, like, you are a kid again and live the time when you used to be kid but you retain all your current knowledge, feelings, ideas and memories. What would you do and what would be your plans for the future?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

@Balareth Thank you again for the interesting question! 

Hmm...  well, I would probably show how inexplicably intelligent I am at school, then be acknowledged by the government as a "wonder-child" and probably eventually become a celebrity millionaire.

Spoiler

Sorry for the late answer! I didn't get the notification for some reason.

 

[Duality 10,738]

On ‎4‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 2:27 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

@Duality I'll ignore that comment regarding relationship advice and try to answer your questions

YOU AND ME BOTH KNOW

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

They're actually pretty rare around here. Not that they're hard to find, but nobody uses them. Whenever I get my hands on one, I usually use it to practice my lock-picking skills (and fail miserably).

On the bright side, your lockpick techniques mighta worked a few centuries ago.

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

My smartphone, occasionally. Most of the time they're empty, as I prefer using my tuxedo's inner, more secure compartments. As for what I keep in those, well, smartphone (usually), keys, spare change, and most of the time dust.

you actually wear a tuxedo?

teach me your ways o glorious senpai

On ‎4‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 2:27 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

The Victorian era had a nice vibe to it, as well.

If by 'nice vibe' you mean 'legendary sewer system issues'.

On ‎4‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 2:27 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

You'll need to be more specific.

Again, needs to be more specific.

pfffff chica i don't have to be nuffin

i'm the one doing you a favour here

y'know by stalking you and extracting every ounce of personal information that your desiccated necrotic brain tissue contains

anyway you answer my question way morely interestingness if i'm not specific

 

 

 

What is your favourite colour of rock?

What is your favourite musical instrument?

Plasma guns or rocket-propelled-grenade launchers?

What's your favourite animal?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

On the bright side, your lockpick techniques mighta worked a few centuries ago.

Locks and doors are pretty prehistoric around here, if that counts for something. I suppose not though, seeing as the paperclips always snap in half before I manage to make any progress on picking the lock.

Quote

you actually wear a tuxedo?

I wouldn't if I had the option not to, I'll tell ya that much. They're more uncomfortable than they look. The pockets are pretty much the only advantage and not all of them have as many as mine.

Quote

teach me your ways o glorious senpai

"B sweg liek meh"

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If by 'nice vibe' you mean 'legendary sewer system issues'.

At least sewers existed. Never been a fan of outhouses.

Quote

pfffff chica i don't have to be nuffin

i'm the one doing you a favour here

y'know by stalking you and extracting every ounce of personal information that your desiccated necrotic brain tissue contains

anyway you answer my question way morely interestingness if i'm not specific

That's an interesting methodology...

...did you just call me "girl" in Spanish?

 

Alright, now onto your totally-original never-before-used questions.

-Hot Red. rubies are rocks too

-Piano. I'm lovin' it.

-Plasma guns. Less messy, more refined, better aim.

-Reptiles. No, equines. No, felines! Dammit, I can't even choose between categories, how am I going to pick one species!?

Edited September 15, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

 the paperclips always snap in half before I manage to make any progress on picking the lock.

Braid them into a single coil of metal. #crimhacks

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I wouldn't if I had the option not to, I'll tell ya that much. They're more uncomfortable than they look. The pockets are pretty much the only advantage and not all of them have as many as mine.

I wear suits all the time and love them. Do yours not fit you well or something?

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

 

"B sweg liek meh"

WAIT WHAT SORT OF SENPAI ARE YOU IF YOU GIVE ME THE EXACT SAME ADVICE AS I GIVE EVERYONE ELSE?

also where did you get that quip from I can't even remember where I said that myself

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

That's an interesting methodology...

I'm an interesting person...

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

...did you just call me "girl" in Spanish?

heh i love it when people actually take the time to look up my wisecracks

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Alright, now onto your totally-original never-before-used questions.

Totally original.

Definitely.

15 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Reptiles. No, equines. No, felines!

I'm on board with all of these choices except the first one i mean what

 

 

 

What is your least favourite animal?

How much power (measured in "Yoda-Force-output-per-second"s) do you estimate that your electrical devices collectively consume on average?

What is your favourite plant, and why?

Do you still live with your parents?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

I wear suits all the time and love them. Do yours not fit you well or something?

It's because my daily routine involves me traversing the city trough environments with drastically varying temperature. Then sitting at a desk for hours as the suit presses the cold wet shirt against my skin. Suffice to say, not very pleasant. Taking off the suit while traversing the hot environments isn't an option, either.

Besides, I always feel like the sleeves of the suit are too long. Everyone else says they look fine, but I feel like a dwarf. ALSO THE DARN SHIRT SLEEVES NEVER ALIGN AND THERE'S ALWAYS ONE SPREADING OUT OF THE SUIT A TAD FURTHER THAN THE OTHER AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT DOESN'T WORK AND IT BOTHERS ME GREATLY

Quote

WAIT WHAT SORT OF SENPAI ARE YOU IF YOU GIVE ME THE EXACT SAME ADVICE AS I GIVE EVERYONE ELSE?

also where did you get that quip from I can't even remember where I said that myself

It's actually from my welcoming plaza post, when I asked you a very similar question.

Quote

I'm on board with all of these choices except the first one i mean what

What's wrong with reptiles? Always been a huge fan of dragons. A flying fire-breathing dinosaur? Sign me up! 

 

Alright, once again onto the questions:

-The Black Widow. I have a pretty bad case of both insectophobia and arachnophobia, but that one takes the cake as the most no thank you.

-Try to be more sociable. Go out and meet new people. Always remember to compromise. Be considerate, but assertive. That's my relationship advice for you in response to your trick question.

-Grape Vines. They remind me of my childhood.

-Technically yes, but not in the way you'd think.

[Duality 10,738]

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

It's because my daily routine involves me traversing the city trough environments with drastically varying temperature. Then sitting at a desk for hours as the suit presses the cold wet shirt against my skin. Suffice to say, not very pleasant. Taking off the suit while traversing the hot environments isn't an option, either.

Besides, I always feel like the sleeves of the suit are too long. Everyone else says they look fine, but I feel like a dwarf. ALSO THE DARN SHIRT SLEEVES NEVER ALIGN AND THERE'S ALWAYS ONE SPREADING OUT OF THE SUIT A TAD FURTHER THAN THE OTHER AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT DOESN'T WORK AND IT BOTHERS ME GREATLY

ewwww bleah

also try reaching inside your suit and pulling the entire arm of your shirt in so that the extra fabric settles across your torso. works for me.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

It's actually from my welcoming plaza post, when I asked you a very similar question.

ah yes good this irony pleases me

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

What's wrong with reptiles? Always been a huge fan of dragons. A flying fire-breathing dinosaur? Sign me up!

Ohhhhh, that sort of reptile. Never mind.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

The Black Widow. I have a pretty bad case of both insectophobia and arachnophobia, but that one takes the cake as the most no thank you.

In the interests of increasing thine already probably formidable stocks of survival knowledge, I feel that I should point out that the more toxic species of bird-eating (read: very, very large) spider have venom enough to kill you and have poison-tipped spine-hairs that they shoot out of their body at people offensively, aiming for the eyes.

You're welcome.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Try to be more sociable. Go out and meet new people. Always remember to compromise. Be considerate, but assertive. That's my relationship advice for you in response to your trick question.

whaaaaat? that wasn't no trick question, it was just a non-SI unit of power measurement.

also your relationship advice is all stuff i already do

yet still #foreveralone

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Technically yes, but not in the way you'd think.

DON'T LEAVE ME WITH CLIFFHANGER REPLIES YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS NOT LEAVE ME WITH MORE

 

 

 

How many middle names do you have?

What is your favourite flower?

How many first cousins do you have?

If you had one object, what would you choose?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

In the interests of increasing thine already probably formidable stocks of survival knowledge, I feel that I should point out that the more toxic species of bird-eating (read: very, very large) spider have venom enough to kill you and have poison-tipped spine-hairs that they shoot out of their body at people offensively, aiming for the eyes.

You're welcome.

...

...

...WHY?

Quote

whaaaaat? that wasn't no trick question, it was just a non-SI unit of power measurement.

Truth is, I had no idea how to answer your question.

Quote

yet still #foreveralone

You hear a soft whisper as the cold wind brushes past you...

"Your waifu will never love you..."

Quote

DON'T LEAVE ME WITH CLIFFHANGER REPLIES YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS NOT LEAVE ME WITH MORE

It's not a cliffhanger if that's where it ends  

 

And now, to answer your questions.

-One. I would say what it is, but I guarantee you wouldn't know how to pronounce it. Also I hate it with a passion.

-Not too interested in flowers, so I settle for the classics. I'd say it's a tie between roses and lilac.

-As of recent, one. Although ever since the divorce I didn't really stay in touch with that side of the family. did I say too much

-Silly question. A genie lamp, of course.

[Duality 10,738]

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

...

...

...WHY?

Because I am hilariously sadistic.

You know you love me for it.

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Truth is, I had no idea how to answer your question.

Just say 'TWENNY YODAS AND THAT'S MY FINAL OFFER!!!' or something, like everyone else did. It's not like I have any idea what the answer is.

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

You hear a soft whisper as the cold wind brushes past you...

"Your waifu will never love you..."

Good thing I don't have one, then.

Do you?

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

It's not a cliffhanger if that's where it ends

It's a cliffhanger if it ends with an allusion to more content potentially forthcoming.

GIV MEH TEH DEETZ

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

One. I would say what it is, but I guarantee you wouldn't know how to pronounce it. Also I hate it with a passion.

You and me both know I probably know how to pronounce it.

Also, I love knowing about things you hate with a passion. Easier to be hilariously sadistic that way.

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Not too interested in flowers, so I settle for the classics. I'd say it's a tie between roses and lilac.

Nasturtium's edible if you're the haute cuisine type.

And, when I say edible, I mean flowers, stems, leaves, roots, the whole nine yards.

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

As of recent, one. Although ever since the divorce I didn't really stay in touch with that side of the family. did I say too much

Well, you certainly have my sympathies.

For what that's worth, I guess.

On ‎18‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 0:39 AM, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Silly question. A genie lamp, of course.

of course of course right this way sir we have just the thing you need in stock for a cheap cheap price batteries not included terms and conditions apply satisfaction not guaranteed please wish responsibly

 

 

 

What's your favourite bird?

How many middle names can you think of, off the top of your head, that belong to family members of yours?

Would you like different and/or additional middle names, and, if so, what would they be?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

Because I am hilariously sadistic.

You know you love me for it.

. . .

Spoiler

 

 

Quote

Good thing I don't have one, then.

Do you?

-----------------

GIV MEH TEH DEETZ

I would answer those questions, but it seems they're not in the question category at the bottom of your post. Too bad...  

Quote

You and me both know I probably know how to pronounce it.

Also, I love knowing about things you hate with a passion. Easier to be hilariously sadistic that way.

No you don't. I guarantee it. You don't even want to know it. Just...  take my word on it and let's just forget that I ever mentioned having a middle name

Quote

Well, you certainly have my sympathies.

For what that's worth, I guess.

Ahh, I love bringing this up and misleading people into feeling bad for me.

Truth is, pal, that it's the one of the best things that happened to me as a kid.

Still, it's much appreciated.

Quote

of course of course right this way sir we have just the thing you need in stock for a cheap cheap price batteries not included terms and conditions apply satisfaction not guaranteed please wish responsibly

Of COURSE I couldn't mention a magic lamp without you making an Aladdin reference. Oh well, I dug up my own grave.

 

 

Finally, to answer your questions:

-Can't decide between owl and ostrich. Owls are cute predators (and what else do you need?), but "Ostrich" was what my old friends called me at the playground because I used to run so fast the sand would rise behind me. It soon grew out of proportion, and now every young person living around where I live knows me as "The Ostrich". Although I haven't been out there in years, I'm probably an urban legend at this point.

-What's with this obsession with middle names? My family tends to choose more oldschool names for middle names (as opposed to names that have a "modern language version", like Alex, for the first names), and I guarantee you wouldn't have the slightest clue on how to pronounce them. There are even some unique characters that don't exist in english.

-WHAT'SWITHALLTHEDAMNMIDDLENAMEQUESTIONS I'd like for my middle name to be something that has an easy-to-read and straightforward version in english, although I would prefer not having a middle name at all. But if I have to choose, maybe "Marshal", or "Adrian".

Edited September 19, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Ahh, I love bringing this up and misleading people into feeling bad for me.

Truth is, pal, that it's the one of the best things that happened to me as a kid.

Still, it's much appreciated.

bleah to you too tuxedo

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Of COURSE I couldn't mention a magic lamp without you making an Aladdin reference. Oh well, I dug up my own grave.

That... wasn't actually an Aladdin reference. That was me being original and hilarious.

 

 

 

 

Wait, does this mean that you think I'm as funny as Robin Williams?!

I mean, I knew I was amazingly witty, but I didn't know I was that amazingly witty.

You learn something new every day, I suppose.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

No you don't. I guarantee it.

[...]

My family tends to choose more oldschool names for middle names (as opposed to names that have a "modern language version", like Alex, for the first names), and I guarantee you wouldn't have the slightest clue on how to pronounce them. There are even some unique characters that don't exist in English.

STOP INSULTING MY INSANE PRONUNCIATION SKILLS MAN YOU KNOW HOW LITERATE I AM AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY LANGUAGES I KNOW

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I'd like for my middle name to be something that has an easy-to-read and straightforward version in english, although I would prefer not having a middle name at all. But if I have to choose, maybe "Marshal", or "Adrian".

bleah adrian

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

What's with this obsession with middle names?

WHAT'SWITHALLTHEMIDDLENAMEQUESTIONS

Do recall that all of these questions are sourced from my posts on someone else's ask thread, so I'm not picking on you specifically but seriously though love the name angst going down here.

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

You don't even want to know it. Just...  take my word on it and let's just forget that I ever mentioned having a middle name

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I would answer those questions, but it seems they're not in the question category at the bottom of your post. Too bad...

You're not getting any more questions out of me unless you answer those ones first.

especially the first one i so want to know what your middle name is now

teach you to get smart with me eh tuxedo

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

That... wasn't actually an Aladdin reference. That was me being original and hilarious.

Wait, does this mean that you think I'm as funny as Robin Williams?!

I mean, I knew I was amazingly witty, but I didn't know I was that amazingly witty.

You learn something new every day, I suppose.

No, it means I assumed you were quoting Aladdin. Which you weren't.

But don't get me wrong, as I've said before, I personally think your sense of humor is outstandingly exquisite. 

Quote

STOP INSULTING MY INSANE PRONUNCIATION SKILLS MAN YOU KNOW HOW LITERATE I AM AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY LANGUAGES I KNOW

MY LANGUAGE IS VERY DIFFICULT TO LEARN, MAKING IT NOT WORTH IT CONSIDERING WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO SPEAK IT, AND THERE'S A 0.5 PERCENT CHANCE OF YOU KNOWING IT. I'M NOT INSULTING YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DUMB TO WASTE TIME ON LEARNING SUCH A USELESS FOREIGN LANGUAGE

ALSO YOUR PRONUNCIATION SKILLS DON'T MATTER IF YOU DON'T KNOW SOME OF THE CHARACTERS. IT'S LIKE IF I SHOWED YOU A JAPANESE TEXT

Quote

bleah adrian

Not very fond of it myself, but I had to choose something, didn't I?

Quote

but seriously though love the name angst going down here.

Oh, I bet you do. 

Quote

You're not getting any more questions out of me unless you answer those ones first.

teach you to get smart with me eh tuxedo

Very well, I see there's no hope left for you to ignore it at this point. 

As I said, I do live with my mom (she's relatively young, very understanding and supports me in everything I do). There is a good reason why I can't move out just yet, but saying what that reason is here would reveal information I wouldn't want going public.

My "waifu" is the very concept of Equestria. A rustic land where the inhabitants are naturally kind and compassionate, and there's a place for everybody; noone gets left out or feels useless. And if they do, there's always Twilight and her friendship squadron to personally help make things better. Also I'm a huge fan of oldschool fantasy elements, like magic and mythical creatures. If I had to choose one pony, though, it would be Luna, as I can relate to her a lot: being forced by the circumstances to re-adapt to a world you're unfamiliar with while also being a socially awkward introvert and having serious insecurities. I hope this answer suffices.

A very valid reason why I wouldn't want to publicly reveal my middle name, aside from the fact that it's odd to people who don't speak my language and I hate it, is that it's very specific to my country. We may even be the only ones who use it at all. And again, I wouldn't want to reveal that kind of information publicly. I think you can understand where I'm coming from with this.

Edited September 20, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

No, it means I assumed you were quoting Aladdin. Which you weren't.

but you thought that I was quoting the genie, though, didn't you

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

MY LANGUAGE IS VERY DIFFICULT TO LEARN, MAKING IT NOT WORTH IT CONSIDERING WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO SPEAK IT, AND THERE'S A 0.5 PERCENT CHANCE OF YOU KNOWING IT. I'M NOT INSULTING YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DUMB TO WASTE TIME ON LEARNING SUCH A USELESS FOREIGN LANGUAGE

ALSO YOUR PRONUNCIATION SKILLS DON'T MATTER IF YOU DON'T KNOW SOME OF THE CHARACTERS. IT'S LIKE IF I SHOWED YOU A JAPANESE TEXT

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW JAPANESE EH TUXEDO SUCH ASSUMPTIONS I COULD BE A POLYGLOT FOR ALL YOU KNOW

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Not very fond of it myself, but I had to choose something, didn't I?

no you didn't i gave you the option not to choose an additional/different middle name didn't i

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Oh, I bet you do. 

better odds than lotto i can tell you that much

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

As I said, I do live with my mom (she's relatively young, very understanding and supports me in everything I do). There is a good reason why I can't move out just yet, but saying what that reason is here would reveal information I wouldn't want going public.

A very valid reason why I wouldn't want to publicly reveal my middle name, aside from the fact that it's odd to people who don't speak my language and I hate it, is that it's very specific to my country. We may even be the only ones who use it at all. And again, I wouldn't want to reveal that kind of information publicly. I think you can understand where I'm coming from with this.

oh sorry for pushing you then if privacy concerns were the reason for not telling

if you don't wanna tell me you gotta tell me you don't wanna tell me

i thought you were just playing hard-to-get

10 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

My "waifu" is the very concept of Equestria. A rustic land where the inhabitants are naturally kind and compassionate, and there's a place for everybody; noone gets left out or feels useless. And if they do, there's always Twilight and her friendship squadron to personally help make things better. Also I'm a huge fan of oldschool fantasy elements, like magic and mythical creatures. If I had to choose one pony, though, it would be Luna, as I can relate to her a lot: being forced by the circumstances to re-adapt to a world you're unfamiliar with while also being a socially awkward introvert and having serious insecurities. I hope this answer suffices.

whoa that's deep man

 

 

 

 

 

Now for some less intense questions:

 

Which way around do toilet paper rolls go?

What are your thoughts on bow ties?

Stainless Steel Rivets: Blessing Or Curse?

What is your favourite natural phenomenon?

 

oh, wait, actually #s 1, 2, and 3 are all intense never mind

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

but you thought that I was quoting the genie, though, didn't you

. . .

I will neither confirm nor deny that. 

Quote

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW JAPANESE EH TUXEDO SUCH ASSUMPTIONS I COULD BE A POLYGLOT FOR ALL YOU KNOW

THAT'S NOT THE POINT, THE POINT IS VERY, VERY FEW PEOPLE FROM OUTSIDE WOULD BOTHER LEARNING OUR LANGUAGE, AND THEREFORE I AM WILLING TO BET ALL MY MONEY THAT YOU DON'T. THAT IS NOT AN INSULT. AS I SAID EARLIER, LEARNING OUR LANGUAGE WOULD BE A WASTE OF TIME FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LIVE HERE

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no you didn't i gave you the option not to choose an additional/different middle name didn't i

And I did choose that option, but the answer was too stale and I wanted to add something, so I guess my previous statement was addressed at myself.

Quote

h sorry for pushing you then if privacy concerns were the reason for not telling

if you don't wanna tell me you gotta tell me you don't wanna tell me

i thought you were just playing hard-to-get

. . .

 

. . . 

 

. . .hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!

Aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

But I WAS just playing hard to get, you fool! AND IT WORKED FLAWLESSLY! YOU WERE OH, SO DESPERATE TO KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME!

AND WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT I HATE IT AND sort of REGRET TELLING YOU ABOUT IT, EVERYTHING I SAID THAT YOU QUOTED WAS TO GET YOU TO GIVE UP!

AND IT WORKED! I HAVE OUTSMARTED THE OUTSMARTER, OUTWITTED THE OUTWITTER, BESTED THE BESTEST! AND ALL IT TOOK WAS A SMIDGET OF SOCIAL MANIPULATION!

Although now that I explained my master plan, you're probably going to get right back to obsessing over my terrible, awkward middle name. sigh. Well, it was good while it lasted.

Quote

whoa that's deep man

...Thanks?..

 

 

Alrighty-ho, onto your questions.

-Depends on which circular side of the cylinder that is a toilet paper roll is upwards.

-They're alright for very fancy occasions and work very well in certain circumstances, but if I had to choose one I'd stick with my trusty tie.

-Um...  blessing, I...  guess? I have a feeling I missed a memo or something.

-It's a tie between blizzard and thunderstorms. The later are not too dangerous, but also incredibly epic. While normal rain is quite depressing, thunderstorms have a distinctive "final-boss" vibe to them that always gets me hyped up. They're also pretty common around here, so there's that. Blizzard also falls somewhere within the same category, but it's more atmospheric rather than epic.

[Duality 10,738]

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

. . .

I will neither confirm nor deny that. 

counts as confirmation to me

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I AM WILLING TO BET ALL MY MONEY THAT YOU DON'T

How much money do you have?

If the answer is "enough to get Duality linguistics lessons", you may find yourself out of pocket on this one.

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I guess my previous statement was addressed at myself.

stop talking to yourself man people will think you're crazy

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

. . .

 

. . . 

 

. . .hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!

Aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

But I WAS just playing hard to get, you fool! AND IT WORKED FLAWLESSLY! YOU WERE OH, SO DESPERATE TO KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME!

AND WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT I HATE IT AND sort of REGRET TELLING YOU ABOUT IT, EVERYTHING I SAID THAT YOU QUOTED WAS TO GET YOU TO GIVE UP!

AND IT WORKED! I HAVE OUTSMARTED THE OUTSMARTER, OUTWITTED THE OUTWITTER, BESTED THE BESTEST! AND ALL IT TOOK WAS A SMIDGET OF SOCIAL MANIPULATION!

Although now that I explained my master plan, you're probably going to get right back to obsessing over my terrible, awkward middle name. sigh. Well, it was good while it lasted.

You imply that deliberately manipulating people by feeding them untruths, based on the premise that they have your best interests in mind, is smart, witty, and 'best'.

Sure, it took me in like a fish on a hook - I'm pretty trusting, what can I say? -, but it's not actually a particularly pleasant experience, regardless of whether it's done jokingly.

Even if it wasn't a large-scale deception, nothing was truly at stake, and you explain it all afterwards, it still carries with it the unsettling barb of experiential evidence that you are capable of and willing to toy with the minds of people who take what you say at face value.

Just a heads-up for future interpersonal interactions.

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

...Thanks?..

is deep yo

13 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Um...  blessing, I...  guess? I have a feeling I missed a memo or something.

WRONG

CUUUUUURRRRRRSE

 

 

 

MOAR Q&A FUEL:

How do you view the concept of wearing suspenders?

What is the single greatest quantity of dirt you have ever carried at any one time?

Which is the more sanity-destroying game, chess or Mah-Jong?

What is your favourite pastime?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

How much money do you have?

If the answer is "enough to get Duality linguistics lessons", you may find yourself out of pocket on this one.

Alright then, let's just put an end to this. My middle name is

Spoiler

Mircea

There it is. I typed it. Have fun cracking that one without google. It would be very much appreciated if you never used it, as I think I made it quite clear how much I dislike it.

Little bit of trivia while we're at it, the main reason why they gave me this second name is because it was my grandpa's first name.

Quote

stop talking to yourself man people will think you're crazy

It's a little late for that, I'm afraid. It's ok though, I like being alone. Besides, the internet's all I'll ever need. No social life required here. Nope.

Quote

You imply that deliberately manipulating people by feeding them untruths, based on the premise that they have your best interests in mind, is smart, witty, and 'best'.

Sure, it took me in like a fish on a hook - I'm pretty trusting, what can I say? -, but it's not actually a particularly pleasant experience, regardless of whether it's done jokingly.

Even if it wasn't a large-scale deception, nothing was truly at stake, and you explain it all afterwards, it still carries with it the unsettling barb of experiential evidence that you are capable of and willing to toy with the minds of people who take what you say at face value.

Just a heads-up for future interpersonal interactions.

This hit really hard, and I'll tell you why (any sort of blame is on me, do not worry in the slightest), but first and foremost I need to get something important out of the way:

I did not lie. Everything I answered there, on its own, is true. And while my life wouldn't come crashing down were that information to be revealed, I would prefer it wasn't accessible to anyone who's randomly browsing the site. The only thing that differed was the reason why I mentioned all of that at all: the actual reason isn't the one that was generally implied.

Bit of a personal rant here, read at own risk

Spoiler

I was incredibly shocked to read what you wrote here. It's not that it's not true or anything of the sort, quite the opposite, it's spot on. Freakishly so.

I always had this, uh...   thing. Lying and just generally messing with people close to me. I have no idea why I do it, it just feels right. And just to be entirely clear, I am not trying to be edgy, this is all absolutely true and incredibly concerning and disturbing to me. The best theory I could come up with is that it's like a semi-natural defense mechanism, preventing people from getting too close to me to avoid inflicting emotional pain on them, by...  inflicting emotional pain on them. It sounds very dumb and self-contradictory, but it's all I got. Or maybe I'm just a sociopath. Either are equally scary, considering the fact that I find it incredibly difficult to make friends, as I am quite hypocritically pretentious, aside from being an introvert and the such. I don't bother trying to make "IRL" friends because people around me don't get me, but the loneliness can become just as painful.

I am incredibly sorry if I made you upset in the slightest with my tasteless joke, as that was light-years away from being my intention, and you have my deepest gratitude for pointing it out. I don't want to cultivate this thing anymore, to make the same pointless mistakes again. I want to be respectful and honest to people I care about, and vice-versa, and I will do anything it takes to change for the better.

More importantly, I have grown to care tremendously about your opinion of me. Thinking about it, my social life always revolved around trying to make people I look up to like me, and that's not necessarily a good thing. Even so, it would be soul-crushing to lose your friendship. Not only because it's difficult to find people with common interests around here, but because people like you are generally incredibly rare to come by, and I consider myself incredibly lucky for having gotten the chance to befriend you. You may say that we're far from not being friends anymore, but as I already implied, this happened to me time and time again, yet this time I won't let it. I will remove its roots before it gets the chance to sprout at all.

Sorry for the touchy-feely super-personal rant, and especially sorry if you were in a good mood and this put you down. If you read all of this, thank you so much for listening to me, I had no idea how much I needed to get this off my chest. You make such a difference, Duality, you have no idea. It's inspiring, it really is.

 

Quote

WRONG

CUUUUUURRRRRRSE

And why's that, if I may ask?

 

QUESTION ANSWERING TIME

-I don't have a problem with them, but they can be very tedious to "get right". Not particularly comfortable, either. Conclusion: wear leather belts instead. Way fancier and they work well with tuxedos

-I'd say two bucket-fulls plus some attached to my boots (That counts, right?), most likely while helping grandma out in the garden.

-I never got the chance to play Mah-Jong, but I quite like chess (although I can't say I'm particularly brilliant at it), so i'll pick the former anyway.

-Watching youtube videos, and just fooling around on the internet in general. It distracts me from the loneliness. Aside from that, playing videogames (mostly minecraft and any random intriguing indie game i come across) and drawing.

Edited September 22, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Alright then, let's just put an end to this. My middle name is

  Reveal hidden contents

Mircea

There it is. I typed it. Have fun cracking that one without google. It would be very much appreciated if you never used it, as I think I made it quite clear how much I dislike it.

I'm reading it 'Mercy', but I'm probably wrong.

Also, of course I won't use it, Tux, I'm not that sadistic.

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

It's a little late for that, I'm afraid. It's ok though, I like being alone. Besides, the internet's all I'll ever need. No social life required here. Nope.

Actually social lives are fairly essential for life satisfaction, good immunity, and lower risk of mental deterioration in old age. Medically proven.

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I did not lie. Everything I answered there, on its own, is true. And while my life wouldn't come crashing down were that information to be revealed, I would prefer it wasn't accessible to anyone who's randomly browsing the site. The only thing that differed was the reason why I mentioned all of that at all: the actual reason isn't the one that was generally implied.

I'm sorry, that was purely fault on my part.

I originally wrote 'half-truths', intending to refer to that general implication as to the reason for you writing that, but I erroneously edited it in one of my many, many revisions of those few lines to read 'untruths'; I'm not sure why. I had no cause to accuse you of lying, and I apologise unreservedly for doing so.

response to "rant" over in our pm conversation

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

And why's that, if I may ask?

demz evuuuuul

16 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

Watching youtube videos, and just fooling around on the internet in general. It distracts me from the loneliness. Aside from that, playing videogames (mostly minecraft and any random intriguing indie game i come across) and drawing.

At least you have more of a life than me.

I solve calculus problems for fun.

like seriously someone save meh from teh nerd ahhhhhh

 

 

 

What item of clothing, that you consider weird, do you see people wearing most often?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What is your favourite hat/head ornament (whether worn by you or by other people)?

How much silver is there in your house/building of residence?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

I'm reading it 'Mercy', but I'm probably wrong.

It's more of a 'Miircheaa' (at least according to the google translate voice robot) Not that it matters.

Quote

Also, of cooooouuurse I won't use it, Tux, I'm not that sadistic.

I immediately regret my decision.

Quote

Actually social lives are fairly essential for life satisfaction, good immunity, and lower risk of mental deterioration in old age. Medically proven.

But I do have a social life! I talk to my friends every day! There's Plushie Luna, Mr. Snuffles, Cuddly Bear, and who could forget Coathanger Larry! He's a real jokester, I tell you!

Quote

I'm sorry, that was purely fault on my part.

I originally wrote 'half-truths', intending to refer to that general implication as to the reason for you writing that, but I erroneously edited it in one of my many, many revisions of those few lines to read 'untruths'; I'm not sure why. I had no cause to accuse you of lying, and I apologise unreservedly for doing so.

No need to apologize, I just wanted to reassure you that I would never straight-up lie to you about something as serious as that, even if it's a joke.

Quote

demz evuuuuul

. . .

This does not answer my question.

WHY ARE STAINLESS STEEL RIVETS EVIL, DUALITY. TELL ME. TELL MEH NAOW

Quote

At least you have more of a life than me.

I solve calculus problems for fun.

like seriously someone save meh from teh nerd ahhhhhh

Do not run from the nerdiness. Embrace it, and use its power to your advantage. 

 

 

This is the part where I answer your questions, in case you haven't figured that out yet.

-Those tiny jackets girls wear over t-shirts. It's kind of cute I guess, but it's just...   ..weird...

-The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.

-I don't usually wear hats, but if I had to choose one universally it would have to be the good-ol' top hat. Too bad they haven't been popular for almost a century now.

-A set or two of cutlery, and a few throughout my mom's jewelry. Why, are you planing on robbing us sometime soon? 

Edited September 23, 2017 by TheOneGuy0000

[Duality 10,738]

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

I immediately regret my decision.

You were the one who added the emphasis.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

But I do have a social life! I talk to my friends every day! There's Plushie Luna, Mr. Snuffles, Cuddly Bear, and who could forget Coathanger Larry! He's a real jokester, I tell you!

Did you say Coathanger?

Tell him I said hi and that he still owes me a fiver from that accordion hoedown in Dallas, willya? It's been yonks.

 

 

 

also mr. snuffles awwwwww

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

. . .

This does not answer my question.

WHY ARE STAINLESS STEEL RIVETS EVIL, DUALITY. TELL ME. TELL MEH NAOW

If you need me to tell you then it's already too late.

11 hours ago, TheOneGuy0000 said:

A set or two of cutlery, and a few throughout my mom's jewelry. Why, are you planing on robbing us sometime soon? 

I am affronted, my good sir. Such slander. I wouldn't even dream of it.

As a completely unrelated side-note, where do you keep the spare key to your front door?

 

 

 

What are your favourite standalone pieces of pony art?

What is your favourite physical unit of currency (whether a coin or a note)?

Papaya blossoms?

How much do you like scarves?

[TheOneGuy0000 404]

Quote

You were the one who added the emphasis.

At that point it was irrelevant; you already knew how to type it, and that's all you'll need  

Quote

Did you say Coathanger?

Tell him I said hi and that he still owes me a fiver from that accordion hoedown in Dallas, willya? It's been yonks

I told him about it, but he said that he left that part of his life behind long ago and that he doesn't want to have anything to do with you, and then proceeded to drink himself to sleep.

At least I tried..? 

Quote

If you need me to tell you then it's already too late.

DUALITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Quote

I am affronted, my good sir. Such slander. I wouldn't even dream of it.

As a completely unrelated side-note, where do you keep the spare key to your front door?

The only spare key we have is inside the house. Not very practical, but very safe.

Why would you need that information, anyway? 

Quote

What are your favourite standalone pieces of pony art?

Pretty much all the ones I linked you when telling you about my favorite pone artists, as well as those artistic mane six cutie mark environments from your selection  

(That last Luna one though those eeeeeyeeees I wish Myla would draw more pones)

Quote

What is your favorite physical unit of currency (whether a coin or a note)?

Easy. Roman gold coins  

Quote

 Papaya blossoms?

Delicate. Exquisite. Intriguing.

Quote

How much do you like scarves?

Probably my favorite article of winter clothing. They're comfortable, cozy, and they look incredible while while fluttering behind you as you're pushing trough the blizzard.