What is the dumbest way you have ever injured yourself?

[Reecejackox 349]

I will start

Tripping off my own shoe laces in primary school and cutting my knee

[Once In A Blue Moon 894]

Pulling a door shut behind me but leaving my index finger outstretched - no idea why it was outstretched, but there you are. The metal edge of the lock housing met the metal edge of the frame and I'm fairly certain from the resulting pain that it gave me a hairline fracture. Nothing was sticking out and once it had settled my finger only hurt if it was bent or hit, so I wrapped some medical tape around it and went to work as normal. Typing was fun after that.

[Techno Universal 2,575]

Grazing my knee and hitting my head on the ground when I threw myself on the ground during a massive temper tantrum I had in the school yard when I was in primary school.  

[Prospekt 10,984]

I was trying to get back at my friend for his pranks by jump-scaring him but in the process my clumsy self's finger ended up grazing the side of a door and ripping skin off. Yeah... that didn't go too well.

[Denim&Venöm 16,503]

Either the time I was opening a can and cut my hand trying to remove the lid, the time I tried to step off and over a chair, only to hit my head on a double door frame and some how cut my head on the way down, or when I walked head first into a low hanging part at work and cut my eyebrow, or the other time at work just a few weeks ago when I was trying to walk past some parts and a metal corner of one cut through my jeans and into my leg. 

[TBD 17,228]

I was trying to demonstrate my sibling how the eagle spread their wings and fly....and i landed my face on the edge of the bed. Worst black eye ever. 

[Crosswind 629]

Shutting a car door whilst my left hand was resting on the roof/top of the door 

[Envy 5,998]

My top candidates are work-related, that's for sure.

One morning, I spotted a broken glass candle on the floor. Being the upstanding, considerate employee I was (lol), I decided it needed to be cleaned up. However, I was not smart about it. Company policy was that you get a broom to clean it up and never touch it, but those things were always hard to find at my store for some reason, and I had gloves on, so I decided to pick it up... Unfortunately, my gloves were worn out and there were holes in it on my fingers. When picking it up, a piece of glass stabbed right into my pointer finger.

This is probably the number one for me, because it wasn't just a simple stab into my finger, tiny pieces of glass got into my finger, leading to lots of pain and there was no easy way to get them out. Somewhere down the line when I thought I was safe and I took off my bandaid, a piece of glass transferred into my thumb, as well.

This all happened during the time I was learning to play the oboe, and then the second incident happened while I was preparing for my audition. >.< I did not let it stop me from practicing super hard. I'm proud of myself. Lol.

Another time was when I slit right into my leg with my work knife. In all of the four years of working there, this had never happened, but all of the sudden one night it did. I had to go home. I was not someone to go home and miss work hours.

[Yakamaru 3,074]

Riding a bike. Down hill. Don't steer enough because a fear of sliding on the road. Crash right into a tree. At full speed.

Suffice to say, Junior wasn't happy. I managed to hurt the poor thing.

[Gabriel 560]

My sister's friend was visiting at our horse farm so naturally as a dumb teenager I had to be a huge show-off. I was brushing one of our trotters after his training session when she happened to walk by, we exchanged some words, me trying to look confident as I leaned against the horse while we talked. Well, the horse apparently didn't like me leaning against his ass so he kicked me, hard. I heard this scary crack emanating from my leg as I fell down, hitting my head against the stable wall made of concrete as I did so.

I remember my vision blurring or something when my body felt like this was a good spot to black out. However, the pain from my leg kept me alive enough to let me repeatedly shout "Not hurt, not hurt" or something stupid like that.

The girl's face was kind of, blank. Later, after a quick hospital trip I limped into our living room where she was with my sisters. It was all good and well until my mother came in and said "Mat, your shirt is backwards." I remember that same blank look as I limped into my room and didn't come out for the rest of the evening.

From that day on I knew that fate is evil and she has it in for me.

[Sweetcake 199]

As a child, I grabbed a metal rod and an old large rubber band found on the road. I placed the band around the rod and pretended it was a slingshot. I stretched it out while closing on eye and keeping on open.

Well the old band snapped and slapped me in my open eye. It stung quite badly and I broke blood vessels in there which lasted for at least a few days. I thought I was going to be blind since I couldn't see out of it for a minute. ^-^' 

[GrimGrimoire 4,970]

Too many to count. But I did once upon a time when going through a firebug phase accidentally melt a bunch of plastic, and then spill the boiling flaming mess upon my hand setting it on fire as well. It took all the skin off my hand and caused extensive damage to it, but the hot melted plastic, despite scalding and eating into my hand, actually protected me from much of the open flame which could have been a lot worse.

On the plus side it broke me of that nasty habit right quick.

38 minutes ago, Sweetcake said:

As a child, I grabbed a metal rod and an old large rubber band found on the road. I placed the band around the rod and pretended it was a slingshot. I stretched it out while closing on eye and keeping on open.

Well the old band snapped and slapped me in my open eye. It stung quite badly and I broke blood vessels in there which lasted for at least a few days. I thought I was going to be blind since I couldn't see out of it for a minute. ^-^' 

Yuck. I hate eye injuries, they freak me out. I have done something similar though... but in my case using a home made slingshot I was firing anything I could find from it, and happened to find a pretty solid machine bolt that I figured would make an excellent projectile. However, the slingshot broke/misfired and sent the bolt back into my face right above my left eye, tearing my eyebrow open nasty and putting a solid dent in the bone. A little lower and this would be a completely different type of story.

[Sione 1,108]

Once I ran into a handicapped sign, another time, I dressed up in cosplay on the hottest day, and I had an allergic reaction to the makeup....I'm not the brightest tool in the shed. XD

[Yumekai 735]

I feel it was today i was at this class i go to on thursdays for parkour and freerunning i attempted a dive roll but wound up landing on my head and i heard my back not to mention my dad and the coaches say that, but at least it was on a mat... 

Spoiler

Basically imagine a handstand without using your hands

 

[Jade The Pegasister 383]

Punching myself in the face because I was trying to find the right side of the blanket and pull it up 

[Buck Testa 5,503]

My elementary school had one of those Rainbow Parachute things. We were told to dive under it after it catches wind, but my dumbass must've heard dive headfirst into the gym floor. Chipped my front tooth and had a false one there ever since lol.

[DixonTheAdversary 1,631]

I think the dumbest way I injured myself was in second grade when I tried to jump to the third bar on the monkey bars (Which was a hard feat at the time). I was able to do it, but my momentum carried me upwards. I hit the top of the bars and fell onto my back onto the ground. I got the wind knocked out of me, and I couldn't stand for the next few days.

[AngelsNight 164]

Smart little me thought a glass door was open.

It was not open...
I ran in to it so hard i had to go to a doctor to remove some of the glass lel.

[Sweetcake 199]

2 hours ago, GrimGrimoire said:

Yuck. I hate eye injuries, they freak me out. I have done something similar though... but in my case using a home made slingshot I was firing anything I could find from it, and happened to find a pretty solid machine bolt that I figured would make an excellent projectile. However, the slingshot broke/misfired and sent the bolt back into my face right above my left eye, tearing my eyebrow open nasty and putting a solid dent in the bone. 

Oh how scary! I very much am nervous about them too. Anything around the face is never good! O.O

[Invincible 2,090]

In 7th grade, I got into a fight with a fat kid and knocked him down with a cool trick I learned in martial arts... Except I messed up the correct movements and he ended crashing down on my right hand instead of the floor. 

It broke my pinky finger. 

[Desert Pone The Cookie Smuggler 26]

the dumbest way i injured myself was when i got mad and kicked my door,  knocked the panel on my room's side of door off on one edge, had to gorilla glue it back together but my foot was the worst off, somehow i managed to break the big toe bone, not 2 pieces, but 3 pieces as would later be found when i went into the doc to get an X ray (commutated fracture was what the diagnosis was), doc was wondering how i managed to break the bone into 3 pieces and noted that i had a high pain tolerance sense all i had to do to deal with the pain was elevate and ice it with a pack of frozen veggies, that was not fun.  (you know how you can make you knuckles pop? for months afterword i could shift the toe just slightly as if there was a joint where there shouldn't have been, i can still feel pops if i shake it) later a different doc was saying id have arthritis in the toe in about 10 years, thats going to fun seeing how im going to be a machinist by then

 

lesson learned: never kick things if your mad

[Feather Scribbles 194]

I tried to be Batman.

 

 

 

 

In all seriousness though, I once stuck my hand inside a toaster because the bread slices were small and I couldn't get them out... Ouch.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Feather Scribbles

[Colt 45 148]

When I was at the park playing with RC cars, I for some reason thought it was a good idea to jump over a tennis net. It was a good 3-4 feet high and I was wearing jeans and just ran at it without thinking. I actually almost made it, but my foot got caught on the top and flung me into the concrete ground face first. Luckily, I put my left arm out to block some of the impact, but it was sprained pretty badly, along with a scraped face. To this day I don't know why I tried to jump over that net.

[Thuja 3,658]

I once was watching a storm on the front porch when I was a kid and some lightning struck the yard next door so I ran inside(with wet feet), slipped on the tile in the dining room and crashed into a chair and a table leg.  Ended up bruising my leg...  And my ego a little bit.

[Lektra Bolt 2,336]

I will be going to bed but I really felt like answering this before I did. I have two stories. Feel free to laugh! 

So my friend and I were playing Pokémon IRL one day, just throwing attacks at each other. I knew I was going to lose, so I said I used Endure then Reversal.

I won, and my use of Reversal had some recoil, which doesn't happen in the real thing.

The way I used it was I took my right hand into a fist, but stuck my thumb out. Then I hit him with my that thumb stupidly. Hitting him with the thumb sideways. My thumb went crack backwards away from the rest of the hand, giving me a fracture.

I wore a cast for a couple of months......... 

Second story is kinda short but harder to explain. 

I flushed the toilet back in the day stupidly. We had a model that doesn't use a collected water tank, just push a stick thing and it flushes directly from the pipe. Here's the thing though, that stick thing could be flushed in any direction in a circle. I wanted to see what would happen if I pulled it up instead of pressing it down like usual.

The skin between my thumb and forefinger got jammed in there, I don't know how, and I got a big bloody under the skin injury. Basically internal bleeding just below the skin.

Once it healed I ended up with a small bump shaped scar where the skin got jammed in between the flush stick and the outside of the mechanism.

I still have it, a stupid scar for life........ 

Edited November 10, 2017 by Lektra Bolt