food Biggest cooking fail?

[Sweetcake 199]

@Widdershins S-sardine pancakes???????? 

[Widdershins 9,955]

@Sweetcake Hey! I like fish, I like pancakes! Logic would state...

[Spilight98 166]

I dont usually cook since I'm still with my parents but one time I used old cheese for my lasagne. Honestly it was god awful. Old cheese seems impossible to melt and the flavour does not match with lasagne at all.

[Bricks_Ahoy 860]

I managed to burn a toast. 

I was talking in the phone, whilst placing a toast on the toaster. I went to sit in the couch waiting for it to be toasted, while talking with my friend.

45 minutes later...

"Hey, didn't you put a toast on the toaster about an hour ago", she reminded me.

"Oh, firetruck", I ran to the toaster and the ashes came out. Gordon Ramsay be scared of the next top-chef that is me.

 

[Victoria Sponge 1,014]

I ignored all references to servings and made a huge plate of spaghetti Bolognese. I only ate 3/4 of it and even that took an hour, I regret doing that.

[Fluttershutter 2,116]

The worst thing I do is usually forgetting and leaving something cooking way too long. Once I boiled eggs until all the water was gone from the pot and the eggs exploded, making a nice big mess. 

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

You'll get +50 gold bits if you can guess what this disgusting, greasy lump is without checking the spoilers.

Spoiler

It's potatoes.

Yup, grated and deep-fried potatoes.

The way it happened is: There's an Italian-run seafood restaurant relatively close to our apartment. They serve some dishes for sharing, and those include some very thin (no larger than matches) fries, as you can see below (on the right of the bowl).

Now the thing is, a while ago, we made an attempt with a rather old fruit-slicing and -grating tool. It worked wonders, because the grate's holes were made to cut vegetables for cooking (with a square cross-section).

Except, when I wanted to try again a couple days ago, I forgot all about that machine. Instead I used a regular grate (the one we use for carrots in salad), which ended up all stringy and juicy.

That didn't look like what we'd made the first time, but I thought: meh, it'll all get nice and crispy once fried. The result speaks for itself... and yes, I did eat that, and yes, I did regret it.

 

Edited November 9, 2017 by Feather Spiral

[Thuja 3,658]

I was making mac n' cheese once and ended up burning it...?

Also, I tried making lentil burgers with nothing but lentils, it tasted terrible.  I had to smother each burger in some sauce before I could really not taste disappointment anymore.

[Once In A Blue Moon 894]

It depends. There was one incident with a kitchen full of smoke, but that's only because the microwave was broken. I'd say that there were two main incidents - one of which was educational, and the other just plain infuriating.

1. First night in university accommodation I decided to make an omelet. So simple I could do it in my sleep, but as a frugal student I thought that I'd save a bit of money by skimping on the eggs and adding a bit of milk - adding a little milk moistens the omelet, as I knew, but putting in a 50:50 ratio produces an egg slop. That's fine - experiments don't always work, but an older student kindly offered to show me how to cook an omelet... no. I know they meant well, but by god it seemed patronising to someone who had been cooking by themselves for years already (and was probably better than them to boot.) That annoyed me far more than it should have done.

2. Chemical warfare. Turns out that frying chilli peppers produces a gas that is remarkably similar to tear gas - burning sensation in the eyes and mouth, uncontrollable coughing, difficulty breathing... though first discovered by accident, it was later used with specific intent. Clears out riots and / or overcrowded kitchens a treat.

[Snow Frostflame 3,567]

Gather round and pull up a chair.

I had just gotten off of work and wanted some mac and cheese, I checked to see if we had the ingredients and we did. As I was in the process of making it I also wanted some milk, so I poured me a glass, and as I finished drinking it I realized that was the last of the milk. I felt like a complete idiot as I had to now waste the incomplete mac and cheese.

I don't cook very often, but when I do I make sure not to screw up... this was one of the only times I managed to slip up and completely ruin a meal.

[The_Gobo 36,257]

Mine would have to be either when I lit an eggroll on fire inside a microwave by failing to read the instructions.
That or when I tried to make gnocci with a white sauce and basically made a soup.

 

[SoberStarlight 906]

On 10/26/2017 at 10:28 PM, Sweetcake said:

Whether you are decent or a master in the kitchen, we all make mistakes at some point! Especially when we are trying to create new tastes for delicious meals! 

So what is your biggest cooking flop? Perhaps you used sugar instead of salt? Maybe you believed adding orange juice to rice pilaf would taste amazing? Whatever your story, I'd love to hear it.

Most of my silly stories come from being a kid. When I was younger, the only food we had available was wheat bread and bologna. So I took that, but I didn't want the sour mustard. I tried to make honey mustard (which may have been gross if I made it right anyway) using SPLENDA and mustard. I took one bite...and threw it in the trash!

My cooking skills don't go much beyond making a bowl of cereal. One day I felt like changing things up, so I decided to make a pizza. Everything was going fine until I cooked it on under heat. I didn't realize that the bottom was black as charcoal until the cheese finally melted and I took it out.

[Midnight Blaze 98 1,138]

Well, this speaks for itself: 

[Le Trotteur Sauvage 13,049]

1 minute ago, Midnight Blaze 98 said:

Well, this speaks for itself: 

MDRRRRRRRRRRRR ! I see what you did here 

[KatonRyu 1,026]

When I was busy buying a house, I once had a meeting with my financial advisor in my parents' house. My parents were out, and the financial advisor would like a cup of coffee. My stepdad is someone who enjoys proper coffee, and so the only way I had to make it was to use the percolator he has. I don't actually drink coffee myself besides the store-bought ice coffee kind, so I had never used it before but I'd seen it being used. I put the ground coffee in the proper bit, compressed it, and added water. So far, so good. Then, when it was done (I thought) I picked up the percolator from the stove, and it immediately erupted into a fountain of coffee. To prevent myself from being sprayed with boiling coffee, I immediately chucked it into the sink. There was coffee pretty much all over the kitchen. I later found out that with a percolator, you're not supposed to compress the coffee, that's something you only do for espresso. Whoops.

Bonus mention: My mom once tried to heat up beef stew or something in the microwave and it exploded. The microwave has never been the same.

[Guest]

Ohhh it must have been that mug cake that ended up being a mudslide cake. First I mixed the things in the mug as I should (although I'm afraid something went wrong during that part) and put it into the microwave. For some reason I didn't stay there to watch the mug in the microwave and exited the kitchen until the microwave beeped - then I quickly noticed that probably a half of the "cake" had spilled over the mug, messing up the microwave quite nicely as well. My friends were disappointed since they didn't believe anyone would fail at baking a mug cake. 

Another one would be the time when I wanted to melt chocolate for something. Instead of doing that in a kettle, I put the chocolates on a soup plate and put it in the microwave. They ended up burning so badly that the whole kitchen smelled bad for the entire day, no matter how long I kept the window open afterwards. Now that I think about it, me and the microwave aren't the most compatible things.

[Tacodidra 59,789]

I can think of two horrible ones I have had.

At school, we had home economics. Usually we had groups of four, but this time they were split into two pairs, one cooking beef stew and the other making vanilla custard (I was in the latter group). By the time we were supposed to stir the custard, the other pair had already used the spoon to stir the stew. I asked my partner if we should wash the spoon. She said no and I agreed that wouldn't be necessary. Everything went well until we looked at the custard a few minutes later and saw it was full of small pieces of meat. The teacher told us to throw it away.

When I was about six, my parents mixed salty licorice candies into vodka. I wanted to make an alcohol-free version I could drink so I decided to put some in a bottle of Sprite. It was an awful choice, as I wasn't able to drink a single glass of that monstrosity.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

On 11/30/2017 at 11:22 PM, Midnight Blaze 98 said:

Well, this speaks for itself: 

You could put that stuff in the Christmas stocking of someone you hate~.

[Guest]

No photos of the failed attempts, but I burned the gelatin for panna cotta last week(ish?) three times in a row before I got frustrated with myself and gave up.

[Draxon 214]

These were supposed to be molasses cookies.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

I tried to cook beef stroganoff once. It ended up as spaghetti.

[Raritas 6,820]

I burnt most of the chicken I was frying for chicken korma the other day, and because I'm a lazy uni student (and a terrrible cook) I couldn't be bothered to start again so I just ate it 

[BlueCoats 19]

I once put a cup of milk in the microwave and the top just part of the glass broke. It wasn't shattered, but it was a clean cut!

[EpicEnergy 22,072]

I haven't had a cooking fail because I don't cook. 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,006]

I once left some fish to cook in the oven and went to read a few random things online just to kill a bit of time until the fish was ready. One of the things I was reading ended up being a bit of a page turner and I forgot about the fish. By the time I remembered, the fish had welded itself to the cooking tray and the batter was rock solid. The fish itself was crispy as heck but surprisingly tasted really good. I really had to ram the spatula under the fish to dislodge it from the tray though.