Terrible Therapist game

[Sonata Jets 80]

I think I've got a solution, PUNCH EVERYTHING. If it disappears it's an illusion, if it fights back however it's probably real.

Doc, I went out dancing last night and now I feel super sore, what should I do?

[TBD 17,228]

numb your body in -20 degree ice bath till you feel...nothing.

Doc, I'd get distracted easily... 

[Will Guide 21,325]

22 minutes ago, TBD said:

numb your body in -20 degree ice bath till you feel...nothing.

Doc, I'd get distracted easily... 

Then you need to get simply plain "Tracted". Duh!

Doc, I'm obsessed with Majora's Mask the video game and fear the Moon will one day fall and crash into town.

[Sonata Jets 80]

You should be.

Doc, I desperately need money but I don't have a job or anything, what should I do?

Edited May 3, 2018 by Sonata Jets

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

Pyramid scheme it all. 

 

Doc im obsessed with wanting to be in the mafia

[Will Guide 21,325]

3 minutes ago, Im_not_crazy_im_just said:

Pyramid scheme it all. 

 

Doc im obsessed with wanting to be in the mafia

I heard the Equivalent of the Changelings in the Equestria Girls world are a Mafia-like gang that specializes in false identity, identity theft and masters of disguise, even without magic.

Doc, I forgot how to breathe.

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

In or out?

 

doc I’m obsessed with wanting to know if you stick your hand through a portal as it disappears does your hand get cut off?

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Well, if you’re so curious about that why not try it yourself?

 

Doc, im developing feelings for a girl, but she’s already got a man. How should i go aboit these awkward feelings?

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

Remember that Klondike bar commercial. Basically change Klondike bar to girl in this sentence “would you like a man for a Klondike bar?”

 

ive been experienceing some technical difficulties with myself. Should I ask a doctor or a computer Scientist?

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Depends on what these technical difficulties are. Pet’s sit down for a moment and discuss exactly what you’ve been experiencing. 

 

Doc, i’ve been feeling down and stressed lately. Any activities you know of that can help calm me down?

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

Well there was probably some fun activities on a cruise ship Like the titanic.

 

the things that have been happening is that everytime someone gives me a shocked reaction I feel a tiny jolt of electricity and it doesn’t hurt but rather it feels good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I don’t know if this is healthy or not

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Hmm, it appears as if you are experiencing symptoms of masochism. Yes, like myself you seem to find pleasure in pain not matter how intense. However, im not sure what your threshold for pain is. 

 

Im a masochist. Go. 

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

Da hells that.

 

im an atheist 

[Matraxial Artemi 2,229]

Sorry you're the developer of derps!

 

Doc, I lost my brain

[Im_not_crazy_im_just 1,814]

*2 days later* have you found it yet?

 

if you put a piece of bread on the ground an then another o the other side of the world does that mean the world is a sandwich?

[Matraxial Artemi 2,229]

Maybe! if you have an alternate version of you! 

 

How come derpy kept saying my hair is a toothpaste!

[Sonata Jets 80]

Well, uh have you tried using it as toothpaste yet? Listen to her, she knows what she's talking about!

Doc, I think I chipped my tooth, but I'm too poor to go to a dentist and get it fixed

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

No worries, just chip the conjugate tooth and your smile wont look as wierd. 

 

Doc, im pining for this girl, but i think she’s already had a few bad experiences with her last bf, how should i approach her?

[Sonata Jets 80]

From behind, she'll never even see you approaching, UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE

Doc, I'm feeling quite blue today, what should I do?

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by Sonata Jets

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

🎶Im blue, da ba dee ba da bum, ba da be dee bum...........🎶

Oh, i guess that’s not helping at all. 

 

Doc, i think im starting to develop romantic feelings for guys.  

[Sonata Jets 80]

You're supposed to leave a problem 

Hmmm, well, now you've gotta see if all the guys have developed feelings for you. You can test their feelings by, challenging all of them at once, to a duel. Because nothing ever goes wrong in duels. I'm absolutely sure everything will turn out completely fine.

 

Doc, I dropped my croissant!

[TBD 17,228]

then you might need to get a french one.

Doc, I want to travel but i'm broke..

 

[Wannabrony 11,638]

Alright, I can help you with that. But first, how good can you swim?

Doc, my schoolwork is really messing with my head! What should I do?

[TBD 17,228]

take a break from school for..i don't know..permanently. 

Doc, a rabid dog bite me, am I going to die?

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Depends on how long ago you were bitten. However, if you just use some willpower, then you MAY be able to extend whatever time you have left until you turn into a rabid werewolf.

 

Doc, there's this friend I have, a guy, and I think I'm developing feelings for him. What do?