Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[abrony-mouse 804]

Do these pics prove that Barbie is a lesbian? 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

"Yak testicle shifting knobs." 

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

Right, so I'm gonna need the

BIG SPOON

 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

"This is a vital government update about slapping a biscuit out of an orphan's mouth." 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

• Pompadour Johnny peeps some mommy side boob.
• Pompadour Johnny rides on the roof after an Eagles win!
• Pompadour Johnny bout to straighten out some scabs. 

 

[Dreambiscuit 5,826]

 “Coffee without caffeine is like water without ‘wet’.” 

[TheRockARooster 35,264]

Moments ago, Dreambiscuit said:

 “Coffee without caffeine is like water without ‘wet’.” 

Truth.

[Bullet Bill OReilly 10,557]

"Alright, I'm gonna bite the dog's bum...That'll teach it."

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"And here we are in the shed, where Malcolm has important work to do on his helmet"

 

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"Can you get off my ass, dude? Yeah. Calm your tits."

 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

"How many lesbian ice hockey weddings can there be?"

[Awkward Segway 153]

"You are not authorized to take this survey."

[abrony-mouse 804]

I can't post the actual quote, but one of my students basically said that only humans have a functioning brain stem and that is why you can only murder humans. People say silly things in exams

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

"Atlantic mermaids are my life!" 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

"Hallmark is 25 year olds finding love. Lifetime is 40 year olds being miserable." 

[WWolf 14,389]

“Pushing the up button multiple times won’t make more elevators appear!”

*two up elevators behind us arrive*

 

[Denim&Venöm 11,754]

“I can’t count that high without taking my pants off.”

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"I just love it when you sneeze in my face"

 

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"I understand all of those words in isolation, but not when put together in that order"

 

[Emerald Heart 21,313]

Mom: "Who are you calling a hidey-hoe?"

Me: "You, you hidey-hoe!"

[Cagey 3,376]

“Y’know, someone needs to make a WALL-E musical.”

”Yeah, someone needs to… not do that.”

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"Sounds like a rubber fetishists' orgy"

 

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

Squeaky slipper soles

 

Edited January 27 by Tropical Melody

[Bullet Bill OReilly 10,557]

"Also, this weirdo in California stole all my music and now I have to play his stuff."

[Tropical Melody 2,683]

"His own company, at least, was going to get hot food tonight, if he had to cook the quartermaster sergeant"