Denim&Venom

Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

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“I wonder how far in this can go....”

  • Shocked 2
  • Pondering 1

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"This video would not have been completed without George’s fishers neck"

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"Can you get this stain out of my dress?" 

"Come again?" 

"No. This time it's ranch dressing." 

  • Laugh 4
  • Pondering 2

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*laughing* "I'm gonna go over this speed bump and be a frickin pimp. Watch."

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"I'm sure your package loves me LONG time too!" ;)

 

I think the context is obvious. :P

  • Brohoof 1
  • Laugh 3

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"He promised he would kidnap me."

Not from me but instead a random group of girls that walked past me in the store earlier. :mlp_wat:

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That massage chair shouldn't have ruined your back as badly as it did. At worst, it should have just felt weird to sit in.

  • Brohoof 1
  • Pondering 1

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He had been turned off animal documentaries on television because they always gave animals pet names, for example, 'Here comes Betty', and onto the screen limps an antelope, say, which has been rejected by the herd, and ten to one it is going to be eaten before the end of the program by some other creature that he cynically believed the film makers had let out of a cage to speed up the process. 

 

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"How do you think a Bikini would look on me?"

"Like two rubber bands on an egg"

 

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"Can I do whatever I want with it while eating chocolate?"

  • teacup 1
  • Laugh 1

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“She’s got one hell of a sugar shaker that’s for damn sure.” 

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"The funeral kazoo!"

Drowns out sobs and wails!

Better than bag pipes!"  

  • Brohoof 1
  • Pondering 2

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"Why did you throw a water bottle in the bathroom trashcan? Did you forget how to recycle?"

(Pet peeve of mine. I am not Queen Recycle!)

  • Brohoof 1
  • Yay 2

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"Is it technically illegal to, like, kidnap someone?"
"Yes."
"No no, like, not for money, just to make them love me."
"STILL YES!"

 

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"And we share like 80% of our DNA with banana peels. What's your f:mellow:king point!?" 

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"I made the stars to illuminate the perpetual nothing, and mortals use them for... relationship advice."

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I forgot why I don't eat here very often. Then I took a bite of the food, and I remembered why. ...SALTY! :umad:

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