Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Denim&Venöm 16,471]

"Nope. That's not why. It fking explodes. I was finding sticky spots for months." 

[cuteycindyhoney 13,283]

"That's fine. I can cook the fish tonight.."

[Samurai Equine 45,748]

If you're looking for a cohesive story where all the plot points are resolved and the ending completely satisfies everything, then this isn't the movie for you. It's random and scattered, just like a child's imagination. So I guess it's a great thing for little kids, but not so much for adults.

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

"What do you want, you charmless nerk?"

 

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

“Aaauugghh ffff....HARDER IM ALMOST THERE!” 

(Trust me, this isn’t what it sounds like )

[Fasu 550]

"I hate all of you, Scouts. Get out of my way!"

While playing TF2 I wasn't yelling this to anyone, though. Just by myself.

Edited September 28, 2019 by Fasu

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

It's been 20 years since I last wore that suit and it's too big for me now. Give it another 10 years and I'll have shrunk some more.

[ExplosionMare 18,007]

My knee looks just as white as you are!

[Lightwing 12,955]

"I love my dinky axe! *dink noise* "

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

"Hose clamps [here and here], to prevent any 'unplanned separations' into my face"

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,471]

"This proved to be the case during a flight with various AWA wrestlers, and it just so happened to be the case that Mad Dog, according to Greg Gagne, was filled with a weekends supply of intoxicants, including beer, whisky, wine, a quaalude, and had just smoked a joint.

And that, was before the fun started." 

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

"Another thing that happens when you're over 60, is that doctors become obsessed with your ass. I've forgotten what mine looks like, he's always round the back here somewhere..."

 

[TigerGeekGuy 4,659]

Overheard at work, just to make it clear this isn't me:

"Give me your corndog!" 

"That's what she said." 

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

Everypony please note I m using the teacup brohoof 'cause there isn't a smile one

 —

"You mangy ninnycocks! You'll all be in the daisy patch pushing them up by the roots if you don't get to the bottom of this!"

 

 

Edited September 30, 2019 by Tropical Melody
Typos!

[Denim&Venöm 16,471]

"I had an old boss eat salad with a hair comb." 

"Did he comb his hair before or after?" 

"During." 

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

 If human beings stop laughing at the sound of their own farts, then we know for certain the species is lost.

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,471]

"Is she the one making all the lewd fan art of herself?" 

[Samurai Equine 45,748]

*In Sweetie Belle's voice* Hush now, quiet now. Lay your sleepy head~! 

6 hours ago, Treeglow Flicker said:

 If human beings stop laughing at the sound of their own farts, then we know for certain the species is lost.

 

Please, do explain the context for this one. I simply must know.  My inner comedy snob wants to disagree, but I'm usually an easy-going person, so I also want to agree at the same time...

[Treeglow Flicker 12,975]

6 hours ago, Samurai Equine said:

Please, do explain the context for this one. I simply must know.  My inner comedy snob wants to disagree, but I'm usually an easy-going person, so I also want to agree at the same time...

It was during a chat with a friend of mine on how some jokes seem to have a terrible habit of being completely missed and mistaken for some sort of serious statement up for debate and analysis, rather than it being simply a small injection of humour. For example, a basic joke that everybody knows:

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."

You either laugh at it, groan, roll your eyes. All normal responses. However some would respond to such a joke with things like:

"Well technically there is no proof that there is an afterlife and saying that the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side is not a proven scientific fact."

"Please do your research before stating facts about chickens to save yourself some embarassment. They don't actually know what roads are."

"How do you know the chicken was crossing the road and not wandering aimlessly? Please cite your resources if you're going to make such such statements. Otherwise I find it hard to believe."

Then you have people actually agreeing and then going on some weird super serious debate about it all. And all you can do in that situation is pinch the bridge of your nose, close your eyes and release a sigh or groan. No use in arguing with them. If they're not going to latch on to it as being a joke, then they're not going to latch on to anything else outside their egos. Best to walk away and leave it. Hilarious in its own way, but tragic in others. On a good day, you may be lucky enough to salvage some satire material from the mess and use it to take the piss out of such people. Pretty much what me and my friend were doing.

And guarunteed there would be some of those people out there that would read over what I've just written and start rubbing their thighs while salivating at the thought of debating it. All I can say to those people is:

Do you mind? This is satire! Fuck off!

But back on point. We were basically bantering about that sort of stuff and laughing about how far it could actually descend before it reached the point that the human race truly lost it's sense of humour. Fart jokes have always been like one of the very basic things human beings laugh at. For me anyway. If that suddenly goes, what humour is really left once all the other jokes disappear before it?

But that's the context it was pretty much said in.

To keep on topic with the thread. Just pick something out of the text as my random quote of the day. That "Do you mind? This is satire! Fuck off!" bit will do.

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by Treeglow Flicker
Afterword the First

[DubWolf 16,593]

Where am I supposed to find Vanilla Punpkin!?.... *looks below shelf* Oh  

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

5 hours ago, Treeglow Flicker said:

To keep on topic with the thread. Just pick something out of the text as my random quote of the day. That "Do you mind? This is satire! Fuck off!" bit will do.

  this

.

 

[Cash In 21,493]

"That's really strange now, isn't it?"

[Tropical Melody 5,080]

"Oh wait a minute wait a minute! We leave a note for the restaurant don't we?"

 

[Samurai Equine 45,748]

Here's your soda. It's Mystery Flavor~ ...Dinner and dessert? We're going the whole nine yard!

11 hours ago, Treeglow Flicker said:

Spoiler

 

It was during a chat with a friend of mine on how some jokes seem to have a terrible habit of being completely missed and mistaken for some sort of serious statement up for debate and analysis, rather than it being simply a small injection of humour. For example, a basic joke that everybody knows:

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."

You either laugh at it, groan, roll your eyes. All normal responses. However some would respond to such a joke with things like:

"Well technically there is no proof that there is an afterlife and saying that the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side is not a proven scientific fact."

"Please do your research before stating facts about chickens to save yourself some embarassment. They don't actually know what roads are."

"How do you know the chicken was crossing the road and not wandering aimlessly? Please cite your resources if you're going to make such such statements. Otherwise I find it hard to believe."

Then you have people actually agreeing and then going on some weird super serious debate about it all. And all you can do in that situation is pinch the bridge of your nose, close your eyes and release a sigh or groan. No use in arguing with them. If they're not going to latch on to it as being a joke, then they're not going to latch on to anything else outside their egos. Best to walk away and leave it. Hilarious in its own way, but tragic in others. On a good day, you may be lucky enough to salvage some satire material from the mess and use it to take the piss out of such people. Pretty much what me and my friend were doing.

And guarunteed there would be some of those people out there that would read over what I've just written and start rubbing their thighs while salivating at the thought of debating it. All I can say to those people is:

Do you mind? This is satire! Fuck off!

But back on point. We were basically bantering about that sort of stuff and laughing about how far it could actually descend before it reached the point that the human race truly lost it's sense of humour. Fart jokes have always been like one of the very basic things human beings laugh at. For me anyway. If that suddenly goes, what humour is really left once all the other jokes disappear before it?

But that's the context it was pretty much said in.

To keep on topic with the thread. Just pick something out of the text as my random quote of the day. That "Do you mind? This is satire! Fuck off!" bit will do.

 

 

 

 

Ah, I understand now! Grazie~  Interestingly enough, even if it is lowbrow humor, farts and toilet humor are internationally understood concepts.

Edited October 1, 2019 by Samurai Equine

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,679]

"Taking a leek"