Opinion wanted about all of my OCs.

[Catpone Cerberus 23,421]

Title is self-explanatory, but....
Most of them don't have a written down backstory and personality, but if you really want to know them, I will post some kind of summary when I can if you ask, I mostly want to know your opinion about my OCs as a concept. 
The OCs are in order of creation from oldest to newest
 

Spoiler

"Magic Potion" (backstory missing) https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/magic-potion-demosthenes-r9047 

"Finished" OC https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/nameless-r9374 

"Gleaming Grin"

 

 

 

 

"Ponysona"

 

 

 

 

"She"

 

By @Lunarpalette

"TC-308" https://mlpforums.com/topic/164905-tc-308-oc-digital-drawing/

"Staunch Fidelity"

 

Unicorn. Male
His coat is #74C365
Soldier pony.
Blonde and short mane and tail (Similar to Magic Potion's)
Eyes are same color as "Ponysona"
Wears Finnish Army Uniform.

 

 

 

"Speechless Night"

 

He is mute.
He can let out noises and laugh etc. But he can't speak, and because of that, he carries notebook and a pen in the small bag with him, so he can communicate with other ponies easier. 

Cutiemark (seen on the little bag) is black cat's footprint with white bat-wings inside it.

Talent: 
Due his inability to speak, Speechless has learned (and still learns) to make and understand all kind of noises and movements to communicate("talk") with animals, cats being his expertise. 

 

"Frail Spark"

 

Cutiemark: Glass horn on pile of sand with spark of magic on top.
Talent: Making and working with glass. Makes statues/other ornaments from glass. (using magic)

"He" "It" and "They"

 

He is made of fire.
It is made of Dark Magic
All of them are ghosts in a way. (Can disappear, already dead. Can choose to be solid.)

They's halves are opposites, Light (Emits light) and Dark ("Absorbs" light), One Loves living things, and other Hates everything living. One Helps life grow, and other kills it. One hopes the best for all life, and other hopes only the worst. etc.

The things between They isn't solid thing, it's more of a this type of thing,

 

 

 but magic or something similar. 

 The plants are not part of 'They', it's just there as a illustration. 

"Ceron Thesu"

 

Moonlight transforms him into the two-headed cat-thing, and sunlight transforms him back into a pony.
Can't get a cutiemark. 

"Miseria"

 

Head = cat, Body and hands = dragon, Hooves = pony, Wings = bat, Tail = lion

Powers:
Not as powerful as Discord. Can teleport, levitate. Can also create and change things to certain extend. Simply put, powerful, but not nearly as powerful as Discord.

 

 

"Lunar Charm"

 

Likes night, moon and all that stuff. 

"Nadanna Adratina (Nada)"
 

 

Linework by Raven Rawne, color by me.

Like in the canon, she too needs negative energy to keep up her powers, but because she's...kinder than other sirens, she stopped consuming it long time ago, and thus is now not only powerless, but also smaller than normal sirens (about 2.5x bigger than a full grown mare). (can fly/float since it seems to be something sirens can do) 

Back before banishment of Dazzlings, Nada used to live on her own, now and then singing to ponies who wanted to listen, but after the banishment, she fled to Everfree forest and stayed there, hiding and singing to herself, not knowing if anypony, or anything ever stopped to listen her singing. During her time in the time in the Everfree, she has developed a almost paranoid wariness towards ponies, fearing that they will banish her too if they find her. 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

change

I feel like I should mention this, because the way I make OCs, I'm not going to change anything, I'm just asking so I can maybe avoid things in the future.

Edited May 12, 2018 by Pvt. Cerberus

[P-Jay 1,987]

Hiya, lurker here. The designs are for the most part good, but do consider using conventional things, like saddles for the notepads or a 'one size absorbs all' jewel instead of a dozen individual enchantments. Do be wary of stacking on details, sometimes it's best just to merge, or discard details. Beyond that, They seemed a bit forced; I personally never liked the split personality gimmick, because it was categorizing complex emotions characters need for conflict. That's off the bat and probably the kind of critique you wanted to hear, but I'll go on to hear myself ramble.

Now, a concept is not a gimmick to a character, for me. A character's concept is based on three timeless questions, 'Who are they? What do they want above all in the world? What can I do to stop them from getting it?' These questions cover all the critical areas of a character, like personality backstory and conflict, but the ambition in itself is a character's concept. It's what makes them interesting to read about, because the will to act is often an admired trait--that's what you should be focusing on, me thinks.  

[Catpone Cerberus 23,421]

25 minutes ago, P-Jay said:

like saddles for the notepads

It's a neck pouch because it is lot faster for a pony to take and put back the thing on a chest

 

 than on the side, and that it also limits the movements the least. 

25 minutes ago, P-Jay said:

a 'one size absorbs all' jewel instead of a dozen individual enchantments.

This too is purposeful choice as it originates from the first character idea of the first character just having dozen of magical jewelry (she originally being pretty much obsessed with gems, crystals etc.)

25 minutes ago, P-Jay said:

They seemed a bit forced;

I can't say they don't seem forced if they do, but I assure you, they are not, because when it comes to my characters, their creation goes like this...
I'm living my life, I get an spike of inspiration for some kind of details from somewhere, and write them down, and then I just come up with a way to turn them as canon friendly as possible, and only then I start planning the pony itself. 

25 minutes ago, P-Jay said:

I personally never liked the split personality gimmick

I take it you mean Gleaming Grim and or/and Ceron Thesu, neither of them actually is like that even though I personally love that gimmick, they both actually are 2 totally different characters in one.

25 minutes ago, P-Jay said:

These questions cover all the critical areas of a character, like personality backstory and conflict

There is 2 reasons why many of them don't have a written down fleshed out personality and backstory...
1. Due their use in RPs and personal "day dreams", I prefer them not to be limited by things like that.
2. My inability to turn thoughts to words of any form, only way I can "show" personality and backstory is by incorporating them into RPs.

 

 

Sorry if I didn't understand something or if my replies are defensive or something, there's reasons for those too...
It's 4am
reason 2 in previous thing.

Edited May 6, 2018 by Pvt. Cerberus

[SharpWit 2,472]

Magic Potion: Simple but good design. Would fit in the background pretty well.

Nameless Alchemist: Looks like a mare but you have them labeled as a male. The hairstyle, snout, and extra eyelash is what's doing it for me. Needs a detailed backstory for loss of forelimbs, not just having done something taboo and stupid. I don't see how the cutie mark could have been lost on both sides along with the forelimbs without damaging almost the entirety of their body. Maybe having made such a major mistake in Alchemy, they feel unworthy of their cutie mark which would be based off of it, so they scratch it off. In addition to that feeling of unworthiness, they flee home and end up making a new life for themselves elsewhere. they can have a new name, but it needs to be a permanent name that the reisdents of the town they settle in all call them by. Even calling them Stranger is better than nothing at all.

Gleaming Grin: Too simple and you gave it a horse design meaning the colors could be put on a horse and you wouldn't be that surprised. This can be done and look good like in the case of Time Turner/AKA Doctor Whooves, but it's not working here. Eyes aren't matching, I don't like that. You can make one eye blind, damaged, missing, but I do not care for different colors because it's not that common in real life, it's been overdone in the fandom, and it just doesn't look good. I love the idea of a Pegasus that can use magic, however they need something to provide that. Maybe the mask is providing it, but it looks silly.

Ponysona: I'm not a fan of mixed species but that one does look cute and is a good design. Needs eyebrows though.

She: Is a ghost, looks like a ghost, that's good. I liked the backstory, but cursing Potion's name is confusing. Is it actually cursed so if you say the word potion something bad happens to you? If so you should get rid of that. Poor Zecora doesn't deserve punishment for her craft, lol.

TC-308: I don't like this one. The idea is neat, but Hasbro already owns MLP and Transformers. They don't need to be combined.

Staunch Fidelity: Simple design, very basic colors, I like the soldier aspect, but the word Fidelity sounds very feminine to me. I think it's a good name, and I can't see a mare being called staunch, but I'm still picturing a mare.

Speechless Night: Looks edgy, a red mane and tail is fine but I'd change the color of his fur to something other than grey. And change the eyes as well. He looks like a vampire not a batpony.

Frail Spark: Another simple but ok design. Darken the eyes.

He, It, and They: I can't say much on ghost ponies without a backstory because they usually explain why they look the way they do. Those things between They's halves are called arc flashes I beleive.

Ceron Thesu: Another horse design, and changing into a two headed cat is just weird but commemorable to greek mythology which I feel is on purpose given the name also sounding greek.

Miseria: Might not be as powerful as discord but it's a knock off nonetheless. I really don't like this one because of that and when I look at it I don't think misery where as when you look at discord you think that creature is an ungodly assortment which is fitting for a godlike figure of chaos.

Lunar Charm: Seems like a robot rather than a pony. Adding magical attachments is cool but this is too much.

Nadanna Atriana: I like this one for the most part. Nice colors, nice story, and the name rhymes with Madonna which fits with the music theme. Really the only thing I don't like about it is that making more sirens exist makes them out to be a species rather than powerful beings. Perhaps an origin story could be of Adagio trying to unite them in order to harness negative energy, and Nadanna refuses to join them because the sheer amount of suffering the other three create together is too much to bear and of course she worries about being banished as well.

How my ideas and opinions are useful. 

[Catpone Cerberus 23,421]

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Looks like a mare but you have them labeled as a male.

Is male

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

The hairstyle,

based on anime character

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

snout, and extra eyelash

Artist's style, not part of design.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Needs a detailed backstory for loss of forelimbs, not just having done something taboo and stupid. I don't see how the cutie mark could have been lost on both sides along with the forelimbs without damaging almost the entirety of their body. Maybe having made such a major mistake in Alchemy, they feel unworthy of their cutie mark which would be based off of it, so they scratch it off.

based on anime character (This OC is not that Original)
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

but it needs to be a permanent name that the reisdents of the town they settle in all call them by.

He doesn't settle, he travels.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

you gave it a horse design

Never even thought about horses when creating him.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

because it's not that common in real life,

I don't like to limit my ideas for fantasy characters based on real life. Also, the eye-color is related to the mask.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

it's been overdone in the fandom

I have seen only few characters with that trait, and really, say what "unique" trait i not overdone with all the OCs out there.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Maybe the mask is providing it

Exactly.
(the Mask is also it's own character)
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Needs eyebrows though

Cats don't have eyebrows :3
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

cursing Potion's name is confusing. Is it actually cursed so if you say the word potion something bad happens to you?

Quote

Potion's name be cursed

It simply means that his family is cursed, his family just happens to name every first unicorn child 'Something Potion' or 'Potion Something'. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

TC-308: I don't like this one. The idea is neat, but Hasbro already owns MLP and Transformers. They don't need to be combined.

Again, Transformers never even crossed my mind, but like you can see from unfinished picture, not my favorite OC.
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Staunch Fidelity: Simple design, very basic colors, I like the soldier aspect, but the word Fidelity sounds very feminine to me. I think it's a good name, and I can't see a mare being called staunch, but I'm still picturing a mare.

Staunch Fidelity is synonym for Loyal Loyalty. And he's male.
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Looks edgy

Not a negative.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

I'd change the color of his fur to something other than grey.

He's grey because bat ponies seem to be mostly grey.
 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

He looks like a vampire

Like he is supposed to.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

ghost ponies without a backstory

Backstories are WiP

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Another horse design

Again, didn't even think about horses, his colors are based on the cat form.

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

I don't think misery

You aren't supposed to, you are supposed to think Bad luck, and what animal is related to bad luck? Black cats.
 

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Seems like a robot rather than a pony. Adding magical attachments is cool but this is too much.

On 6.5.2018 at 3:49 AM, Pvt. Cerberus said:

This too is purposeful choice as it originates from the first character idea of the first character just having dozen of magical jewelry (she originally being pretty much obsessed with gems, crystals etc.)

 

On 11.5.2018 at 8:43 AM, SharpWit said:

Nadanna refuses to join them because the sheer amount of suffering the other three create together is too much to bear

The reason is actually very similar, she in fact doesn't like to cause suffering to ponies and that's why she refuses to do so, it just happened before the event. 

 

On 6.5.2018 at 3:49 AM, Pvt. Cerberus said:

Sorry my replies are defensive or something,

On 6.5.2018 at 3:49 AM, Pvt. Cerberus said:

My inability to turn thoughts to words of any form