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Deadpool Kills the DC universe:Intro


Thorgir the Mighty

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Deadpool Kills the DC Universe
A Universe Divided Intro

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters,they belong to the respected owners.

Deadpool,Peter,and Miles where watching Batman V Superman at deadpools apartment. Everything was going well until...

Superman: MARTHA!!!
Batman:WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!?!?
Deadpool: LAAAME! What kind of plot twist is this?!?
Peter&Miles: Shut it Wade!
Deadpool: Fine Jeez!
Lois Lane: It’s his mother’s name!
Batman: Oh our Moms have the same name let’s be friends and send Lex to jail.(This is basically what happened,sorry I don’t remember what they said because it was terrible for me).
Deadpool: What the heck? They were killing each other and they became friends just because their Mom has the same name?!?
Peter: Yes Wade shut up I want to see what happens next.
Deadpool: you haven’t seen this yet?!? It’s 2018!
Peter: I’m to busy becoming the next Tony Stark (less ego) and being Spider-Man at the same time.
Deadpool:makes sense.
*Miles pauses the movie* 
Miles: I do agree with Deadpool though.
Deadpool&Peter: About what?
Miles: About Batman and Superman fighting then become friends by the time they notice they have the same name.
Deadpool: I know, it’s stupid isn’t it?
Miles: definitely
Deadpool: Y’know, if I was Batsy I would kill Superman and kill Lex.
Peter:What if they added this as a connection to another DC movie? Like the post credits at the end of Captain America? Or that time in Avengers 2 with the Vibrabium And Klaue?
Deadpool: Peter,Peter,you have got to understand,this movie ISNT MARVEL!!!
Miles:He’s got a point Peter.
*Deadpool and the guys start arguing until deadpools phone rings.*
*X-Men 90s theme song goes off*
Deadpool:Oh I’ll be right back guys.
???: May I speak to Wade Wilson?
Deadpool: I am his secretary mr...
Deadpool voice 1: Mr CrabApple!
Deadpool voice 2: Mr CrabApple? Only an idiot would fall for that!
Deadpool: CrabApple! I’m Mr.CrabApple!
???: Wade I know it’s you...
Deadpool voice 2: See only an idiot would fall for that!
Deadpool voice 1: worth a shot...
Deadpool: How do you know?
???: Wade look in your room...
*deadpool opens door to bedroom*
Deadpool: CABLE??? You son of a-
Cable:Save it wade we got important work to do.
Deadpool: where to this time my mutant friend?
Cable: The Baxter Building.
Deadpool voice 1&2: THE BAXTER BUILDING?
Deadpool: Why?
Cable:Reed has discovered a new multiverse interdimensional rift, and he needs someone who has a strong healing factor,and a IQ of a insane mercenary.
Deadpool:Why me?
Cable: YOU CANT DIE IDIOT.
Deadpool: ooooohhhh
Deadpool voice 1:hey if we are going we need a reward for portal jumping!
Deadpool: yeah we’ll ask stretchy pants about that.
Cable:ok Deadpool I’m teleporting us to the Baxter building.....now.
Deadpool: Wait, my tac-
*teleporting sounds*
Peter:Where did deadpool go?
[About 5 seconds later]

Deadpool:-oos!!! *falls down*
Ow!
Mr.Fantastic: Ah cable you have arrived with Wade.
Cable:yes of course can we hurry this up? I haven’t got all night.
Mr.Fantastic: Indeed I shall try to speed of the process of getting Deadpool to jump in the portal.
Deadpool:hey stretchy pants! If I’m Hopping through the portal,I’ll need a reward!
Mr.Fantastic: Very well, name your price.
Deadpool voice 1: Ooh we should get a monster truck! Deadpool and Spanish food themed of course!
Deadpool voice 2: that’s...not a bad idea but Spanish food themed really?
Deadpool voice 1:hey man those tacos at San Mariás were el perfecto!
Deadpool voice 2: hey I know but-
Deadpool: Brain quit arguing!
*Mr.Fantastic does the cuckoo finger*
Cable: yes he is.
Deadpool: ok we’ve decided!
Mr.fantastic: what is it?
Deadpool: a life time supply of Mexican food and a monster truck!
Mr.Fantastic:that is it?
Deadpool: no I need hi tech weapons if I’m gonna jump through that eyesore!
Mr.Fantastic: I’ll see what I have.
*a few hours later*
Mr.Fantastic: I’ve gotten this
Plasma pistol that eat through vibrabium,a couple of sleep gas grenades that can knock out the hulk within 15 seconds,and this time stopper device taken from one of Galactus’ heralds.
Deadpool: Oooh what’s that shiny knife?
Mr.fantastic: that knife is made out of an unknown green rock that emits radiation continually,
Deadpool: hmm I’ll take it all!
Mr.fantastic: ok you grab the equipment and I’ll type the coordinates of the portal.
*a few minutes of typing later*
Mr.Fantastic: Ok Wade jump through and when you get there call me on this interdimensional satellite phone and I’ll help guide you on the other side. Ok?
Deadpool: yeah uhh sure
Ok wade this is just like the time you jumped from space naked on live tv you can do this.
Deadpool voice 1: when did we do that?
Deadpool: I don’t know.Anyways,remember play with portals.
Deadpool voice 2:speedy things go in....
Deadpool voice 1:Speedy thing come ou———-

[Deadpool jumps through the portal,the portal fades from a rainbowish color,to black and grey. As if this universe is dark,bland,and in need of humor.Well deadpool is that humor]

Deadpool: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
*THUD*
Ooohhh that hurt,that hurt bad.
Deadpool voice 1:Sweet Baby Jesus!!! That was awesome!!! Ow!
Deadpool:well everything we grabbed is in still in one piece!
Deadpool voice 2: the tacos!
Deadpool:oh God the tacos are smushed!!! Why portal logic, whyyyyyyy!!??!!
Oh well we can always buy more,there is a city over there anyways.
[Deadpool walks for about a mile while talking to mr.fantastic]
Star City? What kind of city names themselves Star City? I wonder if the tacos are good.

The End the intro 

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